All I Need Is
by Chicago Firestarter
Summary: The Severide/Lindsay sequel to Still What I Need. The "cut from the same cloth" couple will go through their share of drama as they face the highs and lows that their marriage brings. Linseride building a life together. The final chapter is up!
1. Chapter 1

**Hang on tight for the latest Linseride installment. Here's the third part of Just What I Needed and Still What I Need. Truly hope you enjoy this one… been working on it for quite a while. When all I need is… encouragement and input, I turn to NY, Robigna, and all you wonderful reviewers - thank you friends.**

* * *

Two weeks. It took two weeks for Shay to speak to her best friend after he returned hitched to the woman of his dreams. Not much of a wedding gift, thought Kelly.

"Give her some space," advised Erin, stroking Kelly's shoulders softly, seeing the pain in his eyes. Yes, the silent treatment was the way to truly punish him. A screaming match he could take, but this…

"Don't think she's ever forgivin' me," he mumbled, shoving a foot roughly into a boot. "She doesn't even look at me," he complained, putting on the other boot not bothering to tie either one.

"She loves you. She'll remember that soon enough. Give her some time. She's mad," Erin pushed down a small smile forming on her lips knowing Kelly wouldn't see any humor in the situation. She thought of how manipulative Shay could be and how easily her man fell into it. She knew he was being tortured, and she knew damn well Shay was aware of that fact.

"Give me a kiss, Mrs. Severide," he said rising to face Erin, pulling her body in close to his. He knew she didn't deserve this grumpy old man in front of her.

"Mmmm, I love the sound of that," she smiled, bringing both hands to his stubble covered face. "Plan on shaving that any time soon?" she teased running her lips along the short hairs like a finger on the teeth of a comb.

"Nah. I'm married now, can let myself go," Kelly brushed Erin's hair out of her face, taking in those soft eyes, the face that challenged him to find any flaw. It was perfect.

"Get out of here before you're late, you end up making me late, Voight has my ass… vicious cycle." Erin started for her boots with Kelly grabbing a hand, pulling her back in.

"To hell with Voight," he challenged.

"You're gonna get sick of me," Erin laughed, tugging her T-shirt off. "Hell, Severide, slow down. Let me text him so I don't get fired."

"Yeah, Shay, go for it," Kelly said, excited his best friend was speaking to him, not so excited about the plan she was concocting.

It was a big idea that had the markings of getting bigger, spiraling out of control and transforming into something that Kelly wanted no part of.

But instead of voicing any hesitation … "Really, Shay. Go for it." His goofy smile was matched by his friend's goofy smile and Kelly knew she needed this.

"Don't worry about a thing. You and Erin are not gonna lift one finger. Got it?" she enthused, grabbing a legal pad out of Mouch's hands and beginning to scribble furiously on it. "Hey, I needed that!" Shay arched one eyebrow so high it shut the older fireman up.

"Molly's, of course. Right?" she asked, interrupting herself with …"Snacks, duh. But don't worry, we'll have guy snacks too like those little sausage things, not _my_ thing really," she snorted. "…and dip, lots of dip…" She was writing again.

Kelly just watched her, his hands propping up his head, cupping his chin. A smile couldn't help but cross his face. His breath let out two weeks of pent up frustrations, hands tied by a certain blonde who gave him the _I'm ignoring you because I'm pissed treatment_. He'd felt her wrath before but never for so long.

"It's going to be tricky, but I think I can pull it off," Shay said not glancing up from her pad. "Your dad, Katie… I'll need to check everyone's schedules."

"It doesn't have to be a big thing, Shay," Kelly suggested lightly, knowing he should keep his mouth shut. Shay ignored the comment, laser focused on her celebration. _His_ celebration, she corrected in her mind.

He blinked and a week had gone by, Erin's small hand in his as they entered Molly's. Before they walked through the door, he stopped her.

"Thanks for takin' all of this. Shay felt like she missed out on somethin' and…"

"Hey. Don't apologize for this. It's sweet. I'm looking forward to it," Erin interrupted.

"Now you're lyin." Kelly inhaled deeply, holding the door open for his wife. "After you," he said gesturing with his hand.

"Asshole," Erin whispered as she took a step into the small bar.

The place looked pretty much the same, no fancy decorations, no paper wedding bells hanging from any light fixture. The only thing different, all the faces in the place. The couple knew every one, loved every one. Katie had made it and was arm in arm with Otis. God, Kelly hadn't seen him in forever. Erin saw almost every day since he was up at PD now. She'd been working on getting him as a permanent fixture in Intelligence, Voight not sure he could handle more of a 51 connection.

"Manny!" Kelly rushed to his friend, slapping him on the back, leaving Erin with her people. "Been a long time, buddy," he laughed as Manny got up to give him a tight hug.

"I gotta hear you're married from the jarhead? That's how it is, bro?" Manny joked, nothing but good thoughts in his heart.

"Hey, I'm sorry. It was spur 'o the moment, we didn't…" Kelly backtracked, hands up defensively.

"Nah, I'm jokin.' It's all good, happy for you," Manny gave the fireman another pat on the back.

"Can I cut in?" Clarke asked, getting up to share in the bromance. Cailin, the blonde detective at his side, always at his side, cut him off before he could do the actual cutting in.

"Congrats, Kelly. You got a good one there," she said giving him an awkward hug before sidestepping the group of firemen to take off in the direction of Erin. "I wanna take you both out soon to celebrate the, uh, marriage thing, thank Erin. She's been…" she continued fumbling for the right words.

"Anytime, Cally," Kelly jumped in looking at Clarke raise both eyebrows. "Erin loves havin' you onboard." He gave her a huge squeeze this time, turning her face a slight shade of pink. Kelly was thankful of the cop who was slowly becoming a part of IU, a part of his girl's inner circle. Erin had a bona fide girl she could talk to, one she picked. Shay and Dawson were chosen because of him; they'd grown to love each other, but this new friendship had the makings of slumber parties, guy talk, and bottles of wine.

"I think your girl just asked me out," Kelly baited watching Cailin join Erin at the PD table, not having to wait long for the light punch to the gut coming from Clarke.

"She only puts up with you because she likes your, uh, wife." Jeff took his friend in a quick hug, adding… "Happy for you both."

Erin had made a straight line for Voight, whose team surrounded him, almost shielding him from the glares of some of the guys at 51. Hank was exuding proud papa bear, the look Erin wished her own father would have … if he'd stuck around. No sad thoughts, she admonished herself, giving him a squeeze. A mix of embarrassment but mostly pride showing on the old cop's face.

"You did good kid," he graveled out, happy that the paramedic arranged this shindig, feeling slighted himself at the abrupt "we're married" announcement.

Erin shifted from one cop to the next, all giving her the love she missed out on as a child.

"This is kind of perfect, Lindsay," Cailin said taking her friend in a hug. "That one," she added nodding her head toward Shay, "did it right. This is all you and Severide."

Erin felt the corners of her eyes filling a little, somehow those words striking a chord. "Thanks for coming, means a lot," she managed to rasp out, rubbing her face on the back of her sleeve quickly.

Cally gave Erin's hand a quick squeeze, knowing another hug might bring on a real waterworks display.

Erin's last stop … Jay.

"Hey," she said simply, much implied with the one word. She knew the rekindled romance with his high school sweetheart had flamed out about two months after it began. They say you can never go back, and Halstead agreed. "We've got nothin' to talk about now. Just memories," he'd complained before they both agreed it "wasn't working out."

"Hey," he answered taking her in a long hug. "You happy?" he asked pulling her away, knowing the answer. Also knowing a pair of piercing blue eyes followed his every move.

"Yep," she answered softly, not wanting to hurt him. So much left unsaid between the two cops, sometimes partners, always friends.

"You know you promised me my shot," he said not caring who heard, the small smile on his face holding no joy. His words fighting their way out into the open after being pushed down for so long. The pull of beer aiding in their escape.

"Jay…" Erin began. "Not here, not tonight," she whispered shaking her head.

"It's never been the right time for us, has it? You said 'someday' but it never came did it?" he emptied the beer he was working on, Erin wondering how many that was.

"No, you know what? Go have a good time. Forget I said anything," he mumbled, motioning for another to Hermann.

"We'll talk about this at work, okay?" asked Erin seeing him in pain, knowing she was the cause. Also knowing there wasn't a thing she could do about it. Nothing she wanted to change.

Kelly stationed himself next to Casey who had a huge smile across his face, but everyone knew he couldn't be feelin' the love with the sergeant of IU just a few feet away. Dawson was smiling too, but looked dog tired. Kelly couldn't help chuckling a little remembering his first weeks as a candidate. He'd never worked as hard.

Shay was on the other side of her best friend, clamping a vice grip on his arm. She watched as his jaw clenched tighter and tighter as he studied the darkening expression on his girl's face, deep in conversation with Halstead.

"Jesus, are they curin' cancer over there or what?" Kelly snarled taking in about all he could stand.

"Let her finish," said Leslie sternly, giving him a _don't do anything stupid_ look.

"I am. Just takin' her a beer," Kelly said with a tight smile, breaking free of the Shay arm trap, sweeping up two bottles and barreling over to his wife and her partner.

"Here you go," he enthused, holding out the beers, smile still plastered across his face. He handed one to Jay, the other to Erin.

"Thanks," muttered Jay, looking at the two beers before him.

"We'll talk day after tomorrow, okay?" tried Erin. Jay nodded his head turning to give the two glass ladies his full attention. He downed half of one before Erin could give him a pat on the shoulder.

"I love you," Kelly reminded her before settling in with Casey and Dawson at the table right by the door.

"I needed that. I need you," Erin admitted, taking his face in her hands, planting a big wet kiss on him as he tried to feel for a chair and sit.

"Get a room!" yelled Hermann from the bar, causing Jay to flinch with the boom of the fireman's voice going right through him.

"Gonna call it a night," said Halstead throwing two 20's on the bar and heading out. No goodbye to his unit, and no goodbye to Erin.

Around 1:00, only a small group remained. Kelly, Erin, Gabby, Casey, and Shay were circled around a table with Hermann popping in to add his two cents every few minutes. Boden had left hours ago, Donna in the last stages of pregnancy, home alone. He made his obligatory appearance but was gone once he'd shared a beer with his lieutenant.

Katie and Otis were oblivious to anyone else in the bar, making plans for a long film fest weekend held in some no-name town showing a bunch of no-name movies only they'd heard of.

"They're gonna be next big brother. You ready for that," teased Gabby throwing a glance at Kelly's sister.

"Damn, that's just mean Dawson. You know how mean she is?" Kelly asked. elbowing Matt in the arm. "And I thought you two were next. What's the hold up? Bein' a candidate not all it's cracked up to be?"

"You know you married a dick?" asked Gabby, ignoring Severide, looking straight at the Mrs.

"Aw, he's a bit more than that," said Erin. "He's got those pretty blues," she added looking at Kelly.

"I'm right here, babe. Right here." Kelly got up, grabbing all the empties.

"Let me help you," Shay insisted reaching for a couple of bottles, heading to the bar. The night had been all she'd wanted for her friend, all she needed. Once Dawson put the nix on decorating the place, she got to business on the thing she knew her friend would love… getting everyone there on one night. Only no show – Benny Severide.

"Hey, Pops, it's okay. You take care of business there, send me pictures of Jordan's game, and we'll go fishin' soon," Kelly assured him the party was more for Shay than anyone else.

Now, Shay was staring at her best friend looking happier than she'd ever seen him. Her married best friend. Still hard to wrap the brain around that one. How many had made the walk of shame out of their place? Too many to count. All that over now. She smiled like a proud mom who realizes her baby's all grown up.

"Did I thank you for all of this?" asked Kelly, taking one of Leslie's hands in his, making her stop her impromptu cleaning of the bar she started.

"About a hundred times," she answered, a huge smile on her face. Kelly wondered if it would ever leave. He hoped not.

"This doesn't change anything, you know?" Kelly said gently.

"It changes everything, Kel." Shay took a deep breath, smile still there. A good sign. "For the better. I'm happy for you. I love you."

"I love you too, Shay." Kelly draped an arm around his best friend in their familiar way, with the blonde resting her head on his shoulder. He kissed her head like he had a hundred times. "Always," he said pulling her in tighter, not letting go. Never letting go.

* * *

**Shay, Shay, Shay... I miss you so! You will live on in my fanfic. Always. Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Y'all are too good to me. I'm totally blown away by all of the reviews - you didn't forget about my little story! Thank you so much and to show my heartfelt appreciation for all the reviews, faves, and follows, here's another chapter in record time. Just a warning... I'm going way off the reservation, way AU. Characters are staying true to the show, but none of the plot lines. Okay, let the games begin...**

* * *

"I think how much you love Shay made me fall harder for you, Severide," Erin confessed between little kisses she was planting all over Kelly's face. Seeing a man who could love, let himself love entirely, had a certain appeal that trumped even that well chiseled chest and bulging biceps.

"We're _really_ gonna talk about Shay right now?" asked Kelly enjoying her lips pressing against his cheek. "Yeah, I fell hard for you when I saw the way you love Halst…"

Erin bit his lower lip. Hard.

"Ow!" he called out, clipping his laughter short.

"Dawson got it right, di…" Erin teased, eyes narrowing, but dimples still running deep.

"Hey, no name callin.' We're married now. We gotta fight fair." Kelly scolded.

"Just shut up and get naked," commanded Erin yanking at Kelly's jeans in mock frustration.

"Just cause you run things at work," protested the fireman, throwing his jeans over the side of the bed. He'd bitch and moan to Casey 'bout how damn bossy she was, but he loved her take charge attitude. Running squad all day, almost every day…. lives hanging in the balance. Yes, it was nice to have someone else be a lieutenant once in a while.

"You don't like the way I run things?" Erin asked throwing her jeans on top of Kelly's. "Get to work," she demanded, daring him to say something.

He didn't. He just got to work.

* * *

"You don't wish we'd had a big ceremony? White dress? In a church? We can do all that if you want it," Kelly's face awash with concern. He poured her a cup of coffee, mixing in one sweet &amp; low, before getting his own.

"What part of me says big poufy dress?" Erin asked, pulling her hair back in a loose pony tail. "The way we did it was perfect because it's the way we did it. You know?" she asked seeing that scowl on her guy's face. "And...we had everyone we love celebrating with us last night." She knew the party was what they all needed, what Kelly needed. Deep down Severide was a traditional guy, holding the door for her, paying for dinner, holding her hand. She loved it, craved it when their work schedules didn't sync.

Kelly slit open a pack of bacon, dumping the big clump in a frying pan. "It was a good night," he said watching her nod in agreement.

"Good night," Erin mumbled absentmindedly, tucking a stray hair behind her ear.

The furrowed brow on _her_ face now, a hint of darkness flashing beneath those eyes... "What's wrong?" he asked, flipping the slices of pork over.

Erin sighed heavily, her turn to worry about crap she shouldn't be worried about. She figured she had two options… lie or tell the truth. She decided on somewhere in the middle. "It's nothing you want to hear," she tiptoed.

"You're right," Kelly admitted. "But if you need me to hear you out, kick someone's ass... I'm available."

"Just worry about your bacon before you burn it." Talking about Jay Halstead with Kelly Severide was not happening. "What're we doin' today, husband?" asked Erin changing lanes quickly.

"I got some ideas," Kelly quipped with that sparkle in his eyes. "Did I mention, I could get used to you callin' me that?"

"You better get used to it." Gonna be a good day, thought Erin, grin on her face. Gonna be many good days, she hoped.

It was a typical back to work morning, Erin taking an extra long shower, Kelly joining her… "Conservin' water," he smiled hopping in.

"That's rich… a fireman conserving water?" She wasn't complaining. He grabbed her puff and squeezed a generous dollop of body wash on it. "Mmmmm, I love that," Erin moaned as Kelly rubbed her back, starting high, ending low.

When they emerged from the steam filled room, the rush was on. Getting to 51 used to be the thing he looked forward to, the only thing, thought Kelly watching his girl as she slipped on her uniform – T-shirt and jeans.

"What?" she asked mouth staying open slightly, knowing what he was thinking.

"Let's stay home, quit our jobs, and have twelve kids," Kelly laughed only half joking.

"Twelve? What an underachiever, Severide."

"Or maybe just three?"

"_Just_ three?" Erin laughed nervously, knowing there was a nugget of truth in the joke. That was the nugget that scared her.

"Or we can start with one," Kelly said softly taking her in his arms, fingers twisting her hair, not realizing how much he wanted the words he said.

Erin laughed pulling away. "Let's get used to the whole married thing first, hero. Gotta run."

Kelly shook his head watching the beautiful detective race out the door. Cut and run. When you gonna let yourself relax, just be happy Erin, he thought. "Be safe!" he called out after her.

"Love you too!" she called back, wondering what the hell Kelly was laughing about, alone in their place.

* * *

"Halstead, Lindsay… in my office. Now!" Voight graveled out, throwing his door open so furiously it ricocheted off the wall and almost slammed shut again.

Party's over, thought Erin, smiling, the picture of calm entering the Voight storm.

"What's up?" she asked grabbing a chair to plop in. Jay remained standing, arms folded across his chest, holding up a wall.

"Where are we on the Mykola take down?" Hank asked expectantly.

"You told us to put it on hold," started Jay, confused with the sudden interest.

"Forget what I said! Stillwell is on my ass. Now, I'm on yours. Got it?" Voight took a step toward his young detective, not really mad at any member of his team, just mad at the situation. The pressure they were under.

"I'll reconnect with Oksana, get that ball rolling?" Erin got up not waiting for Hank's dismissal. She'd heard from a CI that the Russian woman had wiggled her tight skirt back into the Mykola good graces after Erin went MIA on the scene.

"Do that," Voight yelled after them. "I need something by the end of the day. Shut my door!"

"Let's give your girlfriend a call," mumbled Erin under her breath, grin on her face.

"I feel so violated. Is it too late to go to HR?" Jay retorted, head hung low, knowing the kitten paws of a certain Russian were coming. Coming soon.

* * *

"That was a helluva party, Shay," commented Mouch from his couch, watching TV and reading the paper intermittently. A buzz of agreement coming from the guys gathered in the common room.

"Well, thank you, thank you. It was all for this one," she commented, bumping Kelly with her body, the friends arriving at the same time as usual.

"You need to think about doin' that as a side job. Plannin' parties, weddings. You can make a killin'," suggested Hermann, conspiring with Cruz about his latest Molly's scheme, marketing the bar as a wedding reception destination.

"Ha, yeah right. I might have one more of those in me. Maybe for this one," Shay said shaking Casey's shoulders as he sat at the round table, paper in hand, "or this one's sister." Leslie grabbed Kelly's hand, raising it up a little.

The look on her friend's face made her add… "or maybe our favorite Marine might cowboy up and ask that detective to make an honest man out of him." Shay giggled.

_**Truck 81…Ambulance 61…Squad 3… Apartment fire… **_

Red shift said they'd take it, but Casey and Kelly waved 'em off. "You'd think we could at least get settled in," complained Mouch, rising slowly throwing his paper down on the coffee table.

"Looks like you've had time to set up camp on that couch," commented Mills under his breath, quiet the past couple of weeks. Kelly made a mental note to check up on his guy this shift.

Eyes scanning the scene, both lieutenants got that tightening in their guts… the silence in the truck before the storm.

Boden was barking out orders the second his guys hit the ground. "Casey, truck, let's get this one under control. Cruz, Mouch, vent the roof. Move!"

Kelly was yelling at Capp and the rest of his team about search and rescue before Boden boomed out his orders.

"We'll start on top!" called Severide to his truck counterpart.

"People are in there," yelled Casey over the noise of hoses, trucks moving, and ladders raising. "Just a feeling."

"Well let's go get 'em," Kelly grinned racing his crew into the three story structure, flames licking from the windows of every floor.

Boden didn't like the look of any of it, the puffs of smoke gathering behind the windows, blowing out every few minutes, like an old smoker savoring every last inhale. The flames shooting from the west side of the apartment, growing longer and more greedy with each passing second.

The meth lab explosion still fresh on Chief's mind, would always be there lingering like an old habit you broke but always threatening to make a reappearance. He still couldn't believe Newhouse was gone, Otis no longer with 51, but still a part of the family. That day would muddy his judgments for the rest of his life.

So many casualties pouring out of the inferno … Casey and his crew leading them out, an elderly couple the first to be rescued. Ten victims saved within twenty minutes, looking like a new record would be set before this one was all over.

Kelly and Mills were working side by side, moving fast, so fast. Severide almost didn't see her, but something made him give another look at the melting plastic playhouse in the corner of a small living room. He caught a glimpse of a tiny, pink Care Bear tennis shoe sticking out and ran to it, calling for Mills. He threw the plaything to the side revealing a little girl, face black, the heavy smoke marking her porcelain skin. Her thick curly hair matching her face in color … but it was that face that brought a tightness in their throats.

Kelly pushed on her delicate neck looking for a pulse, letting Pete take the lead on emergency triage. He thought he felt a weak pulsation, or maybe just his imagination, a futile hope. Severide scooped her up following Mills out of the building and into the waiting arms of Shay.

* * *

Russian paws were firmly planted on Jay sooner that even Voight anticipated. Oksana had too many days apart from what she hoped would become her future play thing and was more than ready for a meeting. Before Erin could enjoy her partner's discomfort too much, Mykola came to crash the party and get a little dimple action before heading off to the mother country for a six week visit. Voight suspected the trip included wrangling up a whole new batch of girls to be traded off to the highest sleazy bidder.

"Oh, my little delicate minx," purred the Russian mobster, breath heavy with the smell of vodka and cigars. They were back in a suite almost identical to the one from their last meet … a heavily stocked bar, and heavily stocked artillery positioned around the room. Each man looked like a genetically engineered fighting specimen of strong jaws, cropped hair, and chiseled muscles.

Erin's jaw clamped down so tight, Jay thought she may have cracked a molar. It took everything in her power to not show him just how "delicate" she was. Her tight leather skirt had done the trick and the Russian was practically on her lap, or trying to get in it all night long.

The night became a mix of fast rolling deals with talk shifting from drugs, to guns, to girls, and back to drugs again. After months of not getting anywhere with these two, they were going all the way on this night.

"Let's get in there. Quiet approach, then go heavy flashing the metal. Those Ruskies don't bullshit," Voight commanded knowing he finally had what he needed. Sometimes you needed to back away to finally pull in the big fish. That fish was being reeled in right now.

"Yeah, I think I heard Halstead's rape whistle going off," joked Ruzek, cracking himself up.

"When I need your opinion on something, I'll let you know. Got it?" yelled Hank getting in his young cop's face. Ruzek nodded unable to breathe.

"Let's roll."

Erin knew the cavalry was coming soon … now time to try and position herself and her partner out of the line of any fire that might come. Voight would bring the thunder, she just hoped the Russians would back down.

As if on cue, Voight broke down the door, everything going according to plan. The muscle in the room threw down their weapons, seeing the firepower the cops were brandishing. Olinsky and Antonio right behind Hank, guns pointed at the adversaries in the room.

Now, just arrest the top Russian dog and call it a night.

One tiny detail Voight hadn't counted on, Mykola was not a man going down without a fight. He grabbed Erin around the neck so quickly she had no time to respond, not expecting this from the man who was professing love in the previous breath. He had her in an ever constricting grip, gun now pressed against her temple. She lifted her hands, finally bringing them to Mykola's arm in an effort to loosen his hold. Her deep breaths, an attempt to keep the fear at bay. She wasn't accustomed to that fear, hated it.

Jay felt the same panic, his brain searching for some out. Some move. He was standing a few feet to the left of Erin, the bar separating him and Oksana. How could he make it to the small cop without Mykola pulling the trigger. There was no way.

Mykola hadn't made the Erin CPD connection, still thinking she was the unlucky beautiful thing caught up in all this. He also knew the Chicago cops were suckers for a damsel in distress … there was no way they would sacrifice an innocent young woman to bring him down. Mykola was counting on that.

Voight stared at the Russian, measuring him up and down, trying to predict his next move. He saw how this could end, and he didn't like the little picture forming in his brain.

* * *

Kelly rode with Shay in the ambo, the tiny grip on his hand never letting up. The little girl, maybe two, had latched on somewhere between floors two and one and showed no sign of releasing. It was stupid, but he decided if he broke the seal, he would cut the weak connection with life she was clinging to.

Two doctors rushed over getting her vitals from Shay, prying the teeny fingers from Kelly's dirty hand.

"Let's hang out a while," offered Leslie, replacing the little hand that had been in Severide's.

"You don't mind?" he asked not wanting to leave. They'd checked on victims many times, some just connected for an unknown reason, some you couldn't let go of.

"I'm gonna check on the mom. Why don't you go wash up? I'll be right back," Shay headed to the nurses' station to see how the twenty something mom had fared, if they'd reached the dad yet. Capp had carried mom out unresponsive, smoke filling her lungs.

Kelly washed his hands and face twice, the cold water feeling like a little bit of heaven. Full on shower was what he longed for, but this would do for now. Shay was waiting for him when he returned to the waiting area … the little one was critical, mom the same, dad en route to the hospital, shift at Ford tragically cut short by a call no one ever wants to get.

* * *

The scene playing out in Halstead's mind was growing uglier by the second, one where Erin didn't make it out alive. That was not an option. He watched as Voight lowered his weapon at Mykola's command … his brain screaming, no, no, no! Olinsky and Dawson dropped their weapons following Voight's lead.

"Get them out! Now!" yelled the Russian, nodding toward Alvin and Antonio. Both men backed up, not waiting for Voight's command. They saw the gun pressing into Erin's head, the arm squeezing the life out of her.

Jay moved past the bar, gripping Oksana's hand, feigning innocence. He knew the only shot they had at disarming the Russian mobster was him still being trusted. "We got the upper hand. Let's move," he said to Mykola. "You can let go of her now. They got no play," he tried again, seeing the mobster wasn't lessening his choke hold.

"I'm sure this little man has another weapon on him. Somewhere," he said looking at Hank's boot. "I think I will keep this one right where I have her," he laughed, moving to the door half dragging Erin. "Go to the couch!" he screamed at Voight, Erin feeling the last pockets of air leaving her lungs.

Hank gave Jay a look, he needed the younger man to move soon. Erin's lips were turning blue, her eyes starting to close.

"You're killin' her!" yelled Voight unable to hold his tongue. This was the closest thing he had to a daughter, really more than blood, and he was powerless to stop the life from leaving her body.

"Shut up, old man," yelled Jay playing his role as a Russian ally as if his life depended on it. He sure as hell knew Erin's did. "Let's get outta here," Halstead pushed in front of Oksana narrowing the distance between him and Erin. They shuffled to the elevator, Mykola finally releasing his prey once inside. Erin fell to the floor gasping for breath, her eyes rolling back in her head, her body threatening to lose consciousness. Jay was on her… "Breathe, just breathe."

"Why the hell'd you do that?" he was up in Mykola's face, the gun now pressed into his chest. He realized they had about two minutes before the elevator doors opened and Erin would be back in that hold. There's no way she could take any more. Halstead knew he had to act.

"She's fine. Back up or you both will not be fine."

Jay moved so quickly Oksana didn't know what was happening until it was too late. Halstead grabbed the gun, now both men trying to take claim. It pointed in the direction of the Russian woman. Jay felt it kick when Mykola pulled the trigger, hearing the piercing scream in the confines of the small space. One down.

He slammed his elbow into the older Russian's face as the gun pointed upward now, going off again, shooting out the fluorescent lights overhead. Eyes adjusting quickly, Jay could see Erin trying to get up, the glow from the buttons preventing total darkness. "Stay down!" he yelled, wanting her to make herself even smaller, the smallest target possible.

Mykola was a fighter, age and experience helping him in these close quarters. The gun turned one way then another. Jay made a final rush at the mobster, throwing his body square into the older, heavier man's. It was just enough… Mykola's grip loosened with Jay ripping the gun from his hands. He turned the weapon on the Russian just as the doors to elevator opened letting in a rush of light and a rush of relief from the cops on the other side.

* * *

Kelly and Shay trudged out of the hospital, no good news on their little girl, shift cut short by Boden. He'd called in another team, knowing his guys had nothing left.

"Let's go back tomorrow," suggested Shay putting her hand in Kelly's.

"Yeah, it makes no sense but it kinda felt like if I broke her grip… you know?" Severide brought Leslie's hand to his lips giving it a quick peck.

"I know. We'll check on her tomorrow. I have a good feeling about her, the mom…" Shay cut off by the look on her best friend's face.

Kelly felt several buzzes of his phone… apparently no service up in the waiting area. Now a rush of texts and voice mails coming in.

* * *

**Yes, I'm leaving it there. Haha! I'll update soon, promise. Leave me your thoughts; they do put me in a giving mood.**

**Before I forget, a special thanks to those who don't have an account - guests, EK, TKFan, Aryal, and Jackie - your words and passion cut right to my heart. Thank you! To my usuals - you know I love and adore you!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm trying to stay four chapters ahead on this one, but ALL the love you're giving me makes me want to post a new chapter every day. So overwhelmed by the response, reviews, and follows. Thank you, friends! It means so much. Hope you enjoy and for those wondering (like everyone), the Linseride love is a comin' next chapter. **

* * *

Kelly looked at the one text from Voight, three from Halstead including a voicemail and the words he wanted to speak caught in his throat. Stuck along with the breath he was trying to release. He froze in the hospital parking lot, pushing call on Halstead's number, not listening to the voicemail first.

"It's about damn time… where the hell you been?" Jay started.

"What happened? Where's Erin? Tell me somethin'!" yelled Kelly pacing in a small circle with Shay's eyes following his footsteps. Kelly swallowed hard, one hand slipping into his deep pocket.

"I'm on my way," he said sliding his phone into his jacket. "Erin's okay. She's home but had a close call." Kelly's voice broke on the word call and Shay knew there was no way in hell she was not going.

Severide pushed past Antonio and Ruzek, kneeling before Erin resting on the couch with Hank on one side and Jay on the other.

"Erin," he whispered leaning in, voice betraying him again. "You're okay?" he questioned looking into those eyes, grabbing both hands in his.

"Yes, I'm fine," Erin croaked out voice so raspy it sounded like she was fighting laryngitis.

Kelly spied the dark blue across her neck… "What happened?" He squeezed her hands tighter hoping it would stop the shaking in his.

"We got into a tight spot, but everything worked out," Antonio stepped forward reassuring the fireman, seeing the worry in Severide's face, the same worry he'd seen in Laura's many, many times before. The worry that said she loved him to the core, but it was also the worry that ultimately drove her away. He hoped not forever.

"That," clipped Kelly pointing to Erin's neck, "does not say _everything worked out_! Who the hell did this?"

"A bad guy who is wishing he was in fucking Siberia right now," answered Hank, a fury in his eyes indicating truer words had never been spoken.

"Guys, I'm good now. I'll be in tomorrow and we'll debrief, okay?" Erin whispered, the gravel in her voice challenging the Voight rasp.

"You are not comin' in tomorrow. No one's goin' in. That's not a request, got it?" Voight barked, rubbing his hand through his hair wondering how many more of these he had in him. "You take care of her," he commanded patting the fireman on the shoulder as he got up to leave, the shake in his hands not unnoticed.

"Everyone file out," he added looking straight at Halstead.

"You scared me today, kid," he said kissing Erin on the top of the head. "I'll come by tomorrow."

Jay rose slowly, eyes not leaving his partner. Shaken by the night's events, he had no intentions of leaving any time soon. His boss' order told him otherwise.

"Hey, I'm good," Erin said to him, briefly touching his arm as it drew away from her. "Thanks for saving my ass," she added trying to laugh, but a coughing wheeze escaped instead.

"My pleasure," he smiled, taking in those eyes, the rest of the room breaking away.

Kelly got up clearing his throat to walk the young detective out.

"Thanks for whatever went down, for doin' what you had to do to keep her safe," Severide said extending his hand.

"What the hell took you so long to get here?" hissed Jay ignoring the hand in front of him.

"At Lakeshore, no reception," Kelly said tightly, feeling his face turning hot, his hand now clenched at his side.

"Whatever," said Jay turning to leave, the fireman following close behind.

Shay moved in, yanking her best friend's arm back. "Thanks, Jay," she called, looking toward Erin who was getting up slowly.

"Where are you goin?" Kelly asked shuffling back to Erin, taking an arm in his.

"It's just my neck, babe. I'm fine," she unhooked her arm. "Gonna lay down."

He knew she wasn't fine. He kissed Shay goodnight, watching her reluctantly leave before joining his girl, laying down next to her.

Her eyes were closed, but she wasn't asleep. "Can I hold you?" he asked softly, propping his head up on his hand. He didn't know who needed it more… her or him.

"Please," she said, rolling close to him.

Kelly took her in his arms, feeling the softness of her hair on his chest, pressed against his lips as he kissed her head. He ran his hand down her back rhythmically, trying to stop the shaking that had started with his first touch.

Something had gone down, something that rocked her whole team. Kelly didn't know if he'd ever be ready to hear all of it. One thing he did know… he hated her job at the moment, would give anything if it would just go away, The Intelligence Unit, the team, the whole damn CPD.

* * *

Erin was up the next morning as if nothing had happened, her hard exterior back on. The shell that had been cracked one day earlier was back in place.

Kelly emerged from his shower, ruefully thinking about a full shift, leaving her when she surely could use him. He wrapped a towel around his waist to grab a quick cup of coffee.

"Can I make you some tea?" he asked putting both hands on her shoulders from behind. She was pouring two cups.

"You know I like the coffee," she replied turning around, her voice so hoarse it hurt him to hear her speak. "But if it makes you feel better, steep that tea bag, babe," she tried to laugh but the croak that emerged said the neck was hurting.

"God, I don't wanna go," he said honestly, looking at her smile, that cascade of hair failing over her shoulders like the softest brown silk.

"Get your ass to 51," she said softly taking his face in her hands.

"If anything had happened to you," Kelly's voice broke as he brought his head into her shoulder.

"But it didn't, so _go_," she said swatting him as he turned to get dressed. She was putting on a brave face, one she didn't feel but knew he needed to see.

He dragged himself out of their apartment, Erin never seeing him move so slow. He was meeting Shay at Lakeshore before heading in. Boden said he was dipping into the leave pool with every day off. Two more months and he'd gain a handful of days. Until then, no more sick days unless an emergency. Erin stated this was no emergency.

"How is she?" Shay asked knowing the answer written in the way Kelly's brow was scrunched up, in the way the circles under his eyes indicated no sleep, and in the way his body lacked its usual swagger.

"Hate leavin' her, but you know my sick day status is shit right now."

"Well, let's get some good news on this little one. Then we'll head in and have a Mouch kinda day," Shay smiled optimistically. She stopped at the nurses' station, her bright smile making her a favorite at the hospital.

They didn't have to wait long … a set of familiar faces appeared, an older doctor with a grim look led the way with a young, female doctor following behind.

"Lieutenant, Ms. Shay, good of you to check up on little Abby. I really can't release any information until the father comes back down. He's with his wife right now…" Dr. Arata began, recognizing the pair in front of him.

"No, we get it. Just wanted to make sure she was gonna be okay," Kelly said looking at the two doctors.

"If you leave your information with the nurses, we'll get the okay from dad and give you an update on our little fighter," Dr. Arata suggested hinting that the girl was holding her own.

"Definitely. Thanks, doc." Kelly held out his hand.

The doctor turned to leave, but the younger doctor remained. The familiarity turned to recognition for Shay. She was the woman whose sister died the day of the bombing. Burgess' niece had lived in a large part because this woman's sister had died. Shay had seen her off and on catching tidbits of her story while keeping vigil over her best friend.

"Dr. Thelan. Holly," she said holding out her hand to the paramedic and fireman.

"How are you?" Shay asked. "We met the day of the bombing," she explained. "How are you doing?"

"Better. One day at a time, but better. Yes, I remember you now. Good to see _you_ on your feet," she said glancing at Kelly. "The little girl, Abby Ramirez, is doing well. Remarkable how the body heals, especially in the young. The dad's a sweetheart. He'll have no problems with me giving you an update," she offered knowing she was violating every FERPA law known to man.

"Thanks," said Shay nudging Kelly with an _I told you so_ push. "Thanks for not leaving us hanging," she added.

"Sure thing. Well, I better go," she said stiffly. She started to go then turned around abruptly extending her hand to Kelly, as if remembering to be polite.

He shook it, then Shay. She was awkward for sure, Kelly thought, like the pretty girl in high school who didn't know how pretty she was, focused more on grades and gettin' into college than parties and having fun.

"Dr. Thelan," called Leslie after her. "We're all getting together at Molly's on Friday. It's 51's little hangout, some of us co-own it. Well, anyways, we're all going and you should join us."

"I'll try," said Holly, a bright smile spreading across her face. "I haven't gotten out much," she added, the confession spilling out.

As the friends walked out of the hospital… "What was that all about?" asked Kelly. "She doesn't seem like the goin' out type."

"She seems lonely," answered Shay. "Sad."

"And awkward as hell," Kelly added.

"Be nice. You don't know what she went through the day of the bombing." Shay spilled the story with Kelly shaking his head.

"Makes me feel like a lucky son of a bitch."

"Because you are a lucky SOB. Now, call Erin to check on her, talk to her while I run into Weber's for some donuts."

"Can't we just get some normal shit," Kelly asked, calling Erin, thinking about those weird things Shay brought in last time from her favorite donut shop. Some paprika, pepper thing that almost burned his tongue off when he thought he was bitin' into a good, glazed.

"Just talk to your wife. I'll drive," Shay sped off to the gourmet bakery, glad their save turned into a real save and little Abby was looking like she'd be okay. She was also glad they'd run into Holly. The pretty redhead had all the markings of a lost puppy who needed a new home, or just a friend.

Dr. Thelan was also thinking about the odd pair that came in to check on Abby, couldn't get them out of her mind. The pretty paramedic and the handsome fireman. She wracked her brain remembering little flashes from the day of the bombing, most of her memories of her sister. But in between she recalled the fireman brought in, bad shape… she'd overheard he made it. The blonde had been buzzing around the hospital for days. That was it.

She put the Molly's date in her calendar, looking forward to it more than she'd looked forward to anything in the past year.

* * *

**I always wondered what they were going to do with Dr. Thelan when all those rumors that a Chicago MD spinoff was in the works. So I've added her to my playground. **

**Thank you to my "no account" reviewers who make me smile with their reviews that I feel like I need to review because they are AWESOME: RIPLShay, Guests, ErinSeveride, shaylover, Aryal, Jackie,TKFan, EK, Joy, and Lindsay. To my regulars, much love as ALWAYS. Let me know your thoughts... and have a great week.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I am again completely overwhelmed with your response. Thank you for all the reviews! Those without an account, I can't thank you personally, but your words rock! Those with an account, your words mean so much! Oh, I forgot, a special thanks to 2NYwLove for helping me keep this out of M territory - thank you for your suggestions/edits. Hey, and if y'all haven't checked out her Burning Bright, what's the hold up? It's the story I keep reading over and over. **

**Well, we're getting into it… let the ride begin. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"She's not comin. Said she was tired," Kelly reported gloomily to Shay, letting her drive.

"Is she still the same? Not herself?"

"Yeah. I made some crack about babies and she went crazy on my ass," he said remembering their last fight, one in the long line of fights over the past three days, ever since she almost had the life squeezed out of her. He felt like he was being punished for going in, for not staying with her. A part of him felt like he deserved it.

Voight filled in as caretaker, doing his best to calm her down, reassure her that life was goin' on. Kelly'd thought she was fine. She'd said as much.

"Why would you bring up babies, Kel? You know she's in a bad space right now, you know her issues, what the hell?"

"I know. I'm a stupid ass."

"I swear, you'd think _your_ biological clock was tickin'."

"I'm gonna be thirty five this year, Erin too and she won't even say the word _baby_."

"You knew this going in," reminded Shay. She hated to play devil's advocate, but also knew he needed to hear this. Not everything had a fairy tale ending… no matter how great a dad she knew her best friend would be, babies may not be in the cards.

"She couldn't say marriage six months ago and that changed. Figured this would change too," Kelly admitted. "I ain't talkin' about next month…I'm just sayin' someday."

"What if that day never comes? You okay with that?" Shay needed him to face that possibility whether he wanted to or not. She was playin' the best friend card.

"Of course. I love her no matter what," Kelly answered, looking at his phone again. Nothing. He'd texted an I love you, but nothing. Silent treatment doing its trick. "Wish she'd just call me back." Erin told him flatly she would be working late, do whatever with whomever.

"She's probably knee deep in paperwork. Cheer up. Let's go in and get drunk. I'm buyin." Shay thought that would bring a smile to her guy's face. She scanned Molly's spying Dawson immediately, making her way to the friend she didn't see on a daily basis anymore.

The girls were chatting non-stop about God knows what, the yammering pounding Kelly's head. He moved over to join Casey sitting with Mills at the bar.

"Where's Erin," asked Matt knowing it was the wrong thing to say the minute the words poured out.

"Tired. Stayed home," Kelly spilled, sour look on his face, ordering a beer and a shot. He slammed the glass on the hard wood and attacked his beer almost as quickly.

"Okay, it's gonna be one of _those_ nights," said Casey ordering the same for himself.

They were feeling no pain when Clarke and Cailin arrived arm in arm.

"Hey!" said Kelly way more exuberantly than usual, than ever. He gave Clarke a huge hug, tripping over his friend's feet before he could do the same to the small blonde beside him.

"Oh, hell," mumbled Cally pulling out her phone, sending a quick text to Erin. "I'm going to talk to Shay and Dawson for a second. You got _this_?" she asked Clarke before joining the girls' table. He nodded, grabbing Kelly's arm preventing his friend from meeting the floor.

"So what's up, Severide?" Jeff asked his friend, pushing him on his stool.

"Nothin.' We're havin' fun? Right?" he answered, nudging Casey roughly. "Ain't a crime," he added, sloppy smile on his face. He raised three fingers to Hermann, Mills had made his escape a few minutes earlier.

Clarke nodded off the shot, taking the beer instead. He spun around and a smiling redhead had appeared out of nowhere. She was standing before Kelly, not sure if she should go in for a small hug or what. She held out her hand as if she were closing a real estate deal.

"Hi, Lieutenant Severide," she said seeing that he didn't even know who she was. "Holly Thelan," she tried wishing she could sink straight into that floor, seal it up and just die in there. Still nothing. Oh God, should I just turn around and…

"Dr. Holly!" Severide called out like he just won $75 at BINGO. "Hey, guys! Guys! This is Dr. Holly! She saved that little girl at the apartment, so be nice, assholes."

Holly laughed a flush coming over her face turning it a bright shade of red. It quickly faded as everyone at 51 came over to welcome their guest, friend of Kelly's, an instant friend of theirs.

"You made it!" Shay said bringing Holly in for a hug. The doctor didn't think she'd been touched as much over the past six months; this was a hugging group for sure.

The alcohol flowed with three doing most of the drinking. Shay didn't think the buttoned up doc would ever unbutton, but she did. Nicely. Literally. Holly threw off her blouse a couple of shots in revealing a lacy tank underneath.

"Is it hot in here? It's hot in here!" she laughed looking from Kelly to Shay. The redhead letting go, letting these people in. The sadness of the past year washed away with every joke, every laugh, every story.

Shay felt the stray touches from Holly on her shoulder or arm increasing as the night turned to morning, but the same could be said of the brushes up against her best friend. Holly Thelan was a hard one to read.

The three were in the throes of hysterical laughter, Severide thinking about standing on the bar, if it weren't looking so high up when Erin walked in to Molly's. Her hair was a tousled mess, no makeup, jeans and sweatshirt thrown on in a rush.

"Shit," said Clarke having moved from the bar to a nearby table hours ago, Cailin at his side. Both waiting this party out, knowing they were playing chauffer service tonight.

"Yeah, no shit, cowboy," agreed Cally getting up to cut off Erin before she reached Kelly, her husband who currently had the hands of two beautiful women all over him.

"I told you we'd take him home, Erin. Why don't you head back, rest…" Cailin began gently, knowing the detective was looking right through her.

"Why don't you back up before this gets ugly," she said shoving past her friend, a response not needed or wanted.

Clarke got up to join his girl but didn't have a clue why. What was he gonna do? Separate Erin and … Kelly? Red? No. Maybe just steer Cailin out of the storm heading straight for an unsuspecting fireman having fun… too much fun.

"Erin!" Kelly slurred out loudly, lopsided grin covering his face. He drunk stumbled forward slightly, Shay and Holly grabbing his arms. "Meet Shay! Ha, ha, you know Shay. I mean meet my new friend Holly." Erin was met with a hot cloud of alcohol coming from her husband's mouth.

"Step off, new friend Holly," Erin snarled with an expression Kelly had never seen, an expression that sobered him up somewhat. All the blow outs, both not wanting to back down…he'd never seen _that_ look. It conjured up some wild animal show with a mama bear going to battle for her cubs.

"Babe, it's not like that," Kelly tried, smile wiped far away now with the briefest recognition of what Erin was thinking.

"I see how it is. I see you're drunk of your ass and I see that you're getting that ass in my car." Erin had a hand on her hip; Kelly not daring to inch one millimeter forward.

He glanced at Shay's serious expression, like a daughter who disappointed dad, and didn't know what to do. Leslie moved her new friend to the Clarke table, the laughter dissipating with the Erin words.

A public reprimand not in any man's comfort zone, especially not one used to calling the shots. But Kelly knew when he was done for. He hung his head and followed his wife out of Molly's looking like he might face plant a couple of times. He kept his balance teetering into Erin's car not bothering to buckle up. Something in his hazy mind noted that she didn't say a word about it, just driving in silence.

* * *

Shay woke up to a rattling in her kitchen, head not letting her get up on the first try. She rubbed her eyes vigorously, smoothing her mussed up hair, pulling it into a high half pony tail bun.

"Hi," Holly said brightly, standing in Shay's kitchen, hair in a shiny, tight bun, face shining.

"Oh my God. Please tell me you're not a morning person. Please tell me you're feelin' it too," Shay asked rubbing her red-rimmed eyes again.

"I'm feeling wonderful," Holly said shaking something into a tall glass of red stuff. She smiled broadly. "That was the best night I've had in a year. A year," she added handing Shay the glass, the celery sticking out making it recognizable to the blonde now.

"You _are_ a morning person," Leslie muttered taking a long sip from the extra spicy Bloody Mary. "Mmmm, this is good."

"It'll make you feel better. Promise," Holly vowed, smile still on her face. "I do feel bad for Kelly. Didn't mean to get him in trouble."

Shay studied the redhead's face, looking into those green eyes. "You _like_ that he got in trouble," Leslie mused. A laugh erupting from her… "You are a bad girl, Holly Thelan. You are a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl's body." Shay was really laughing now, a snort making its way out every couple of seconds.

There was a warmth in that bad girl smile. A warmth the blonde decided she could get used to.

* * *

"Hey, get up," Erin said roughly, pushing on Kelly's side. She'd shoved him hard three times, eliciting a grunt only. "You are on shift today. I'm leaving in five." She went back to the kitchen finishing up the last drops in the coffee pot, slamming every cabinet she could lay her hands on.

How the hell he could roll over and sleep in the heat of a knock down drag out was beyond her. But that's exactly what he'd done. Now, she knew he'd get up, give her a stinky kiss and act like nothing had happened. She slammed a cabinet so hard she knew they had to hear it next door.

"Jesus, what the hell did that door do to you to make you so mad?" Kelly asked tumbling over to the bone dry coffee pot.

The look Erin shot him slammed his mouth shut, not mentioning the lack of coffee.

He filled a glass of water, drinking it down quickly, wishing he'd brushed his teeth first. He walked slowly to Erin, hesitantly.

"Don't go to work mad, babe. I'm sorry," he began reaching for the beautiful but fuming woman before him.

Erin put up both hands taking a step in Kelly's direction. She pointed a finger in his chest. "You may not realize this, but you're married! You don't let some woman hang all over you anymore! And if that is something you don't want to let go of, then you need to rethink this whole marriage thing." The sound of the door slamming bore straight into Kelly's skull. He flinched with the noise, with the memory of last night, with the anger in his wife's voice, and mostly with the hurt in her eyes.

Kelly ran after her, each step a thunder pounding his brain. "Erin! Hold up. Erin!" He easily reached her as she opened the door to her car.

"I am sorry. I felt sorry for her," Kelly tried to explain searching for the right words, the fuzziness in his mind matched by the cotton in his mouth.

"How sorry? If I hadn't showed up," Erin shook her head, remembering the redhead's hands on Kelly. He had been oblivious. She knew totally and completely oblivious. He was having fun, enjoying himself. How could he not see how wrong it was?

"Got carried away. I'm sorry, Erin. Don't know what else to say." He hung his head. "I love you, only you," he said looking at her, trying to get those words into that thick skull.

"I hope you do. I'm not feeling it right now, Kelly. Not at all." Erin got into her car slamming the door.

Kelly could only watch as she sped off. He felt regret for sure, but with it a little anger of his own thrown in. Getting taken down a few notches in front of his friends, his family, not something he wanted. The guys were not lettin' that one go anytime soon.

But more than the embarrassment, the issue rising up from the ashes was trust. It all came down to trust. What the Erin outrage told him, he didn't like. It said she didn't trust him. Not completely.

* * *

The shift was long, everyone avoiding their lieutenant. The years with Severide taught them when he was approachable and when to stay far away. Everyone knew that, even Boden. Everyone except the newest one to float into the empty Dawson position, Sylviie Brett. The cute blonde bounced in with all the wide eyed innocence of a lamb to slaughter.

Shay looked her up and down, skeptical that this newbie was going to be Gabby's "permanent replacement" as Boden put it.

"Leslie Shay," the blonde extended a hand warmly to her new partner. She told herself she would not get attached until this stray was a sure thing.

"Sylvie Brett. I am so honored to be at this house. I've heard so many great things about you," the blonde gushed to her look-alike.

"All lies," snorted Shay. "Let me introduce you to the guys." She made the rounds, her vow of staying detached gone the minute it was whispered in her mind.

She filled her in on the secrets of 51 and the men it held. Brett knew in about three seconds that the way to Mouch was through donuts, Hermann, his kids, Cruz, a little flirting. Casey and Boden harder to crack. They all seemed like a good group.

"I'm not gonna introduce you to squad's lieutenant right now because he had a bad night, don't want you to get off on the wrong foot." Shay said quietly as they passed Kelly's shut office door.

"Get it. There's always one asshole in the group. I knew it was too good to be true, all the guys seem great. But one bad apple," Brett said, a conspiratorial tone in her voice.

"No, no, not at all," Shay tried to explain. "Severide is a good guy too," Leslie continued.

Kelly's door flew open, startling the two women.

"Shay! I'm tryin' to catch a few z's in here! Is it too much to ask you take your girl talk to the common room?" Severide slammed the door without noticing the new paramedic.

"Wow," commented Brett. "Just wow."

"Okay, that was not Kelly. You are blocking that. Zip, erase it from the memory banks," Shay implored.

"Gone. Deleted. I'm all about second chances. We'll try again later," assured Brett knowing there was no way _that_ was leaving her mind any time soon. How would she be able to forget that face, albeit angry face, ever? The rumors, the talk about the handsome squad guy… she'd heard it all but this exceeded any gossip. 51 was going to be a very good place to work she decided, a very, very good place.

* * *

"Hey beautiful," Kelly said as he walked in to his place after a long shift made longer with the broken communication with Erin.

She was sitting at the dining room table, paperwork spread all over, categorizing files in pile after pile. Erin didn't bother looking up not believing he was going with the let's pretend nothin' happened move.

He reached around her as she continued flipping through files, hugging her tight, kissing her on the neck. "Can we talk about what a stupid ass I am?" he asked softy in her ear, kissing it as he backed away. The days of not hearing the sound of her voice was an eternity. He couldn't take another minute.

Kelly pulled up a chair, moving it close to Erin. "Will you let me apologize, hear me out?"

That weariness in his face, the look in his eyes. Erin knew he'd paid with a shift from hell. She got up from her chair and went to him, cradling his head in her chest. "No more apologies. Let's go to bed." She pulled him up, taking him into her arms, feeling along the length of them, touching his chest.

"You still love me," Kelly smiled feeling the familiar body check.

"Always. Just don't piss me off again," Erin said discharging the last of her anger. She wasn't going to let him off the hook yet but the two days of going dark were enough.

"Never. I promise," he said needing that bed, needing her body next to his, needing some sleep.

Erin felt the familiar warmth press against her, felt his breath pick up, felt his body heat up. She watched him sleep for minutes admitting her rage was jealousy, plain and simple. She knew he wasn't goin' anywhere.

That face. It was that face that drew looks, stares. She knew. She couldn't resist touching that face, smoothing his hair back, running her finger down his cheek. Kelly made a small sound, opening his eyes … Erin coming into focus.

"Wife," he said smiling. Erin cut off any other words with a deep, long kiss. Kelly felt himself shaking off the fog of his cat nap, the beautiful face before him coming into focus. All parts of him waking up now. His eyes became dangerously bright, staring at her, devouring every curve of her face, every wisp of her hair. Kelly started with just two fingers, softly tucking a loose piece of brown softness behind her ear. The light touch shooting a welcome thrill through Erin's body as if it carried some electrical charge.

Those fingers, she thought, smiling longingly. She watched as Kelly's gaze left her face, skimming down her body. He lay on his side next to her, loving each reaction to his fingertips now running down her face, stopping at her neck.

Erin entrusted her body to her husband who played it to unbelievable heights with each touch. She trembled as his fingers ran lightly down her neck now, trailing along her stomach, landing in the concave of her hip. His hand moved again lower, drawing a soft moan from the detective. She could take no more. She needed him now, pulling on his arm, signaling him to get on top of her petite body.

She lay shuddering on her back suddenly feeling a hot tongue on her neck. A live current pulsated through her body as she held her breath, body tensing with raw desire finally fulfilled. They stayed pressed together giving and getting all that they needed, all they could ever need.

Kelly rolled back over at long last, spent, nothing left. He could feel her warmth, the silkiness of her skin lightly brushing against his arm.

He lolled his head to the side, looking at those dimples, a full on smile spread across her face sprinkled with perspiration.

"I'm outta trouble?" Kelly asked sheepishly.

"Don't press your luck, hero," Erin responded, closing her eyes, smile still imprinted on her gorgeous face.

* * *

**Hope this one satisfied. Haha! Leave me your thoughts.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I keep saying it, but here I go again - Thank you so much for the reviews! This is my most commented on story, and I'm not gonna lie… it feels awesome! Because of all the love I've been feeling from my readers, here's a little love from me.**

**Those without an account - EK, Guests, Aryal, TKFan, shaylover, ErinSeveride, RIPShay, and Jackie (can't have you bored today) - you make me smile, thank you! Those with an account, you know how I feel! Hope you enjoy this freshly written, unscheduled side trip in Linserideland.**

* * *

"So, we're good right? I'm outta trouble?" Kelly asked only partially teasing, as he poured two cups of coffee.

"I'm going fishing aren't I?" Erin answered with a question, not really answering. She shook her head thinking she'd gone completely insane. Fishing. Fly fishing.

"Yeah, you are," Kelly grinned, placing a coffee cup in front of his wife, kissing her on the cheek.

Erin stifled a small laugh looking at that damn enthusiasm. He talked about fishing like it was a change your life experience, "somethin' you'll wanna do again and again." She could think of a few things she'd want to do again and again that included Kelly, fishing not one of them.

Severide rented a small cabin on the Kankakee, a hop, skip, and jump from Chicago. A quick overnight trip … one he sensed Erin needed, they needed. The fishing idea came to him on shift, talking to Benny.

"Take her fishin.' It'll clear her head, bring her back to center," the older Severide insisted in usual "father knows best" fashion.

This time, Kelly couldn't argue. He did what dad said.

As they pulled up to the small cabin, both were brought back to their last getaway that ended with vows promising to love each other for the rest of their lives. Kelly grabbed one of Erin's hands and kissed it softly as he pulled up to the cute, tiny log structure.

"I love you, husband," Erin said, leaning over, kissing the fireman on the cheek.

"Love you, wife," Kelly replied, stretching to her, his lips meeting hers. "Wanna go in, check it out? I'll unload all my crap."

"I'll help you. Then we'll check it out together," she insisted, pulling away and jumping out of the car.

"Okay, boss," Kelly chuckled, racing to the heaviest bag before she could snatch it. He grabbed the large duffel bag with all their stuff shoved in it, letting Erin get the smaller fishing gear.

Kelly fumbled with the old lock before finally coaxing or cussing it open.

"I love it," Erin said, taking in the tiny cabin that was a miniature version of "their" cabin. Perfect. This fishing thing was gonna turn out okay, she thought taking in the charm of this place in the woods.

* * *

By the time they unpacked all the gear, the long boots, the immense amounts of fly fishing supplies, it was early evening, a golden sunset filling up the horizon. The couple sat hand in hand on an old wooden swing hanging on the front porch, watching the brightness dim as evening was settling in. A rumble in Kelly's stomach sent him into the cabin, nodding at his wife to follow.

"When you fish, you only eat what you catch, but I'm breakin' that rule since we haven't fished yet," Kelly winked at Erin, finding a cast iron pan in the cabinets.

"Well thanks for bending the fishing rules and feeding me tonight," Erin teased, dimples running deep with the smile affixed to her face.

Kelly ripped open a pack of hot dogs, Erin's eyebrows raising in doubt. "Don't thank me yet," he replied slyly, chopping up the beef franks, throwing in this and that. Erin thought she saw some eggs go in the pan.

He plated it up, a huge pile of something landing in front of her. She dug in.

"What the hell is this? You can cook, Severide!" Erin giggled, taking another bite.

"Hey, watchit now! Benny didn't teach me much, but fishin' and makin' this mess… those are two things he set me straight on."

"Remind me to thank him," Erin replied, mouth stuffed full.

"Uh, you can thank me later," Kelly suggested, that mischievous glint in his eye.

"Just eat," Erin retorted laughing.

They were snuggled on the couch, staring at the flames in the fireplace dance, casting shadows around the dark room. Erin had a cup of tea in front of her, Severide nursing a beer.

"You tired?" asked Kelly knowing it was getting late, they both should be yawning. He had an arm around his girl, her head pressed into his chest, so warm, so perfect.

"Nope," Erin answered looking up at the beautiful eyes staring down at her. She knew what was coming next, didn't have to wait long before her husband cleared his throat to speak.

"I know I'm not the best at talkin' but do you wanna talk about what went on at Molly's? It's been eatin' at me, and I'm pretty sure you ain't completely over it."

No, not the "let's go to the bedroom" Erin was expecting.

"Sure, we can talk Kelly, but there's not much to say. You got drunk, acted the fool, let that woman touch you all over. It's done." Erin shifted her weight slightly, her head not leaving her husband's chest.

She's still pissed, thought Kelly, now glad he brought all this back up to the surface. It had to be put to rest.

"Erin, I'm sorry I got so lit. I am, but as far as Holly goes… she is nothin' to me and her hands did not touch me all over. I was drunk, but I'm pretty sure I'd remember that."

Erin laughed looking up at her husband now. "So you think you're funny?" she asked, mouth in an open grin.

"Seriously, I ain't goin' anywhere, ever. You are it. You've always been it for me. You got nothin' to worry about," Kelly said, growing serious, pulling her in tighter as if to emphasize his words.

"I know that. I do. In my heart. I trust you, Kel. I just, just," Erin searched for the right words, "I don't trust all the women out there, and when you act like that… you're asking for trouble." The dumbfounded look on her man's face made her laugh out loud, adding to Kelly's confusion. He truly did not have a clue that his "friendliness" could ever be misinterpreted.

"There aren't any other women out there. Get that through your crazy, thick skull. I got more than my share of women in my life…between you and Shay…"

"Shut up and kiss me," Erin said pressing her lips to Kelly's before he could comply. "We're good. I promise," she insisted, owning up to the fact that the issue was more with her than him.

Kelly knew they were good. Better than good and Erin was getting back to her center.

* * *

"Who's ready for fishing?" whispered Kelly, kissing Erin on the back of the head.

"What time is it? Is it even morning?" asked Lindsay, cracking one eye, hair covering the other eye. The dark of the room told her it was not any kind of hour to be rising and shining.

"Yes, it's morning. 5:30. Fish are biting," Kelly prodded, nudging her to get up.

"Go away," she muttered pulling the sheet over her head.

"Never. Now wake up detective. We've only got one day." Kelly got up to fill his two thermoses with coffee. It looked like a two thermos morning for his woman.

"Uhh, oh God." Erin was talking to herself as she slipped on her jeans, socks, fresh T-shirt. She brushed her hair back in a lumpy ponytail heading to the bathroom. She emerged fresh faced in a couple of minutes.

"How do you look so damn beautiful all the time?" Kelly inquired, handing her a cup of coffee, staring at those hazel eyes in disbelief.

"You look pretty good yourself, hero," Erin said, admiring the way Kelly's Henley hugged his shoulders, his arms. "You gonna teach me to fish or what?"

After a brief lesson on dry land, Kelly led the cop into the shallow water, both wearing waders, Columbia fishing shirts over long sleeve T's, and fly fishing vests. Erin's new gear a gift from her over eager husband. She felt ridiculous but played along, truly enjoying the excitement in Kelly's eyes. The things you do for love, she thought grinning. She was pretty sure his excitement could be felt under water and was currently scaring off all the fish.

They headed out, Erin holding one of Kelly's hands, the other hand with a firm grip on her pole.

When she taught Kelly how to shoot a small firearm at the range, her competitive juices were flowing, wanting to show how damn good she was. Her confidence had oozed out of every pore and Kelly soaked it up, showing her how much he loved what a badass she was holding a gun. He definitely showed her when they made it home and up to the bedroom.

Now, she felt like a fish out of water, she thought smiling at her own joke.

"Glad you're likin' the feel of the water," said Kelly, making her smile wider.

"Okay, now watch me. It's all in the flick of the wrist," he instructed showing her the drag and pull, the rhythmic motion he'd had years to perfect. "Feel it, let it guide you," he added.

Erin flung her pole back jerkily, not feeling anything guiding her. She threw the pole forward watching the line head straight into a clump of bushes by the river bank.

"That's okay, it's okay. I'll just get it out of here…" Kelly encouraged, fighting with the line caught up in a mass of dried, half dead branches. Eventually, he cut the line and set up her fly again, saying it was no big deal. His vest held all the secrets of the day, many, many secrets. He would have to go in it to fix her line, reel, and retrieve new flies more times than he thought he had in all his years of fly fishing.

"I think I'm getting the hang of it," said Erin, thrilled when her fly headed in front of her for once. She pulled it back, getting the pattern of it, feeling it a little.

"You got it! Good girl!" Kelly whooped and hollered as if she caught a fish.

She brought the line back in, steadying her pole to launch it back out there and catch something this time. As she reared her pole back, she pointed it in Kelly's direction, catching his vest with her fly. She pulled forward, snapping her wrist like he showed her, pulling his vest and him forward a little. He was caught off balance, stepping on a rock and losing his footing. An arm instinctively reached out for anything to grab hold of, finding Erin's sleeve.

They both splashed in the shallow water with Erin being brought down on top of Kelly. The initial cold had them gasping with the shock to the system.

Erin was spread out across her man, both soaked through, neither one moving.

A roar of laughter came from the small brunette, erupting out of nowhere, now an uncontrollable force in Severide's wet face. She couldn't stop, laughing harder and harder… "I – did – this!" she sputtered out, unable to move.

Kelly was cracking up now… "Yeah, you did this," he chuckled, moving from underneath Erin. He threw her over his shoulder, grabbing for the two poles, and trudging back to the shore.

Erin thought she was done laughing, and a whole new outburst would rise up, just picturing Kelly's face as he was going down. Priceless. Hilarious.

He kicked off his waders, dropping the poles to the side of the porch, Erin still slung over his shoulder. He could feel the jerky convulsions of her laughter rising and falling… "You okay up there?" he asked, eyeballing her, questioning her sanity.

She couldn't answer, a snort breaking out instead of coherent speech.

Kelly plopped her on the sofa, taking off his clothes quickly, grabbing two towels from the bathroom. He turned on the shower, glad to see Erin moving now, tugging at her uncooperative, wet jeans.

"I can help you with that," he offered, glancing innocently at the panties peeking out.

"You can?" Erin asked with equal innocence, laughter dying on her lips as she wet them in anticipation.

He rushed her like an outside linebacker, but picked her up with a gentleness she expected and loved. Kelly had her back on his shoulder, carrying her into the shower. The warm water enveloping the couple, pulling the cold of the river out of their bodies.

Erin's mouth found her husband's chest working its way back up to his waiting mouth.

"God, I love you," he said between kisses, eyes closing then opening, wanting to take in all of her.

"I love you," Erin said, pushing her mouth in harder, now trailing down his neck, causing a deep moan to escape his lips.

"But fishing is something I'm never going to wanna do again and again," she whispered remembering his words at the start of their trip, gently running her tongue along his ear, teasing it mercilessly.

"Never again," he mumbled, her mouth causing every part of his body to come alive.

"But this..." Erin forced the words out between deep breaths of desire filling her lungs, her body, "this I'm gonna want again and again."

The primal sound Kelly made said he agreed, wholeheartedly agreed, with every fiber of his being. It told Erin everything she needed to hear, all she would _ever_ need to hear.

* * *

**Hope this was an enjoyable Saturday surprise, my friends. Have a great rest of the weekend! Go out and make it a good one!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Continue to be overwhelmed with your positive response. Thank you to everyone – all you no account sisters - Jackie, ErinSeveride, Aryal, TKFan (wow, making me misty), EK, shaylover, RIPShay, Guests, &amp; Sossy, and all of you with accounts who I hope I remembered to thank. The reviews are a little amazing. Also, gratitude to my writing sounding boards &amp; friends – M &amp; R.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"When are you gonna make nice with the new puppy?" Shay asked her best friend. She'd been in denial that Kelly put the deep freeze on her new partner, thinking she was imagining it… now sure she wasn't.

"I don't think she's stickin' around. She looks too soft for this job. She ain't no Dawson that's for sure." Kelly was working on one of his half a dozen saws, his hands a steady movement of push and pull as he coaxed the thing to purr. Shay watched, gaining a new understanding of what Erin meant when she talked about Kelly having "hands from heaven."

"I like her. She has a good heart… she's sweet…" Shay pleaded, her own heart inching open to take in her new partner.

"Ah hell. Don't tell me ya named her and bought her a collar already?" Kelly dropped the saw, looking at the blonde now, eyes slits.

"Yes, I'm keeping her, so be your normally charming self, or just don't be such an ass and welcome her already." Shay cocked her head to the side knowing she'd won. Always.

Kelly grunted picking up the saw again, Shay's cue to get lost. "Good talk," she said bouncing off to see what Brett was up to.

* * *

"Brett!" Kelly called out to 51's newest member, seeing her spy him from inside the ambo.

"Yes, lieutenant," she came bounding over, looking like she was chasing a damn ball.

"We got off on the wrong foot the other day. I was havin' a bad day," Kelly got up from squad's table where his men were eyeballing him suspiciously.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Lieutenant Severide," Kelly extended his hand to the young woman, grinning broadly, confident that smile would do the trick.

Brett laughed loudly, extending her hand to the man she'd watched for three days.

"Sylvie Brett, sir. Nice to meet you," she looked into those piercing blue eyes, holding on to that hand for too long, feeling the softness of it.

Kelly pulled his hand away with Capp, Tony, and Mills chuckling softly.

"Brett! You gonna make me clean this thing by myself?" yelled Shay from inside the ambo.

"Gotta go, but glad we met. Officially. Like for real, not just looking at each other. Not that you were looking at me, but I was…" Brett's face was a shade of red Kelly was sure he'd never seen. He couldn't help but laugh thinking this was the perfect partner for Shay.

"Go," said Kelly shooing the blonde to her doppleganger with all of squad cracking up.

"You got yourself a fan there, lieutenant," said Mills laughing loudly.

* * *

Dr. Holly Thelan had gone to Molly's thinking she was going to get a little Kelly Severide, squashed by the weight of his wedding band and that crazy woman who blew in like a tornado. Now, she was beginning to realize she was getting something more perfectly suited for her… her own blonde tornado named Leslie Shay.

Holly'd been bi-curious in college taking a couple of girlfriends, both short-lived and both a little off center. One had been certifiable, accusing the redhead of sleeping with every man in sight including the girl's brother and father. Holly considered herself lucky to escape with her life.

She was wary about starting anything with anyone but her senior year, her poly-sci professor with an eye for pretty undergraduates had taken a special interest and Holly reciprocated. They'd stayed together that year saying tearful goodbyes when she took off to medical school at Emory. Dating was out with 12 or more hours in the lab, the library or studying almost every day.

Being a full-fledged doctor also left little time for a relationship, or so she justified to herself. Lately, she thought day and night about a certain blonde paramedic who she already discovered was about the funniest thing she'd ever met. The conversations ran on and on into the wee morning hours. Best of all, she never felt awkward around Leslie, the blonde being equally adorkable.

"Hey," she said opening the door to her small apartment, not sure if she should land a quick peck on that beautiful cheek. She didn't have to think about it too long… Shay went in for a kiss, just a small one right on the lips.

"You ready to paint the town red, Red?" asked Leslie taking in the body hugging black dress her date had on.

Holly loved the no fuss style of Shay, wearing her usual jeans, T-shirt and boots… hair in a messy bun atop her head, barely a stitch of make-up, but drop dead gorgeous.

"Are Kelly and his crazy wife joining us?" asked the doctor wondering when they would finally double. Someone so important to Shay was bound to be important to her if they were gonna make a go of this thing.

"Uh, not tonight… _Erin_, say it after me," teased Shay, "Erin has some romantic, only the two of them, night planned." The blonde grunted, feigning displeasure but really beaming that she was getting a little alone time with her Red.

"Maybe next time," muttered Holly, glancing at Shay, small smile on her face.

"Oh my God! You little bitch! You want to cause more problems for my best friend!" Shay laughed at that twinkle in Holly's eye. "And for the record, Erin isn't all that crazy."

Doc lifted an eyebrow doubtfully… "Whatever you say, Shay." She reached for her purse.

"No more crazy than you," insisted Leslie.

Holly plopped her purse back on her dining room table. "How 'bout we stay in tonight? Netflix it?"

"Sure," answered Shay trying to sound casual. She'd wondered when they were going to get beyond the flirting, the light kissing. She thought her heart may have skipped a little, the effort to not let out a light squeal taking every bit of self-control.

"I heard Tombstone's on Netflix now. It's a western, but oh so good…" started Holly.

"I love it! Kelly and I've watched it only a thousand times! Kurt Russell, oh those eyes…mmmmmm." Shay made herself right at home on the couch, grabbing the throw off the back. "Well, c'mon," she said waiting like an overanxious kid.

"Those eyes remind me a little of Severide's," cooed Holly.

Shay snorted loudly patting the seat next to her… "You like those eyes huh?"

Holly spun her fingers over her iPad finding the movie instantly. "They're nice," she answered., "but I've seen better." She looked at Shay, tucking her legs under her and grabbing for part of the throw.

Yeah, this one will do, thought Holly smiling as she nervously reached her arm around the shoulders of Leslie. She'll more than do.

* * *

"It's been a long time!" said Jeanine warmly hugging Erin first then Kelly. "We thought you two found a new spot," she teased not bothering whipping out her pad.

"Never, sweetheart," flirted Kelly giving her a quick wink. Joe's would be their place forever.

The waitress' face flushed slightly…"The usual?" she asked fumbling with her uniform.

"That would be nice," said Erin shaking her head at her husband. As soon as Jeanine made her escape, "You are a bad boy," she reprimanded Kelly.

"What?" he asked innocently, turning his phone off, having no desire to see another text from Shay saying how happy she was. He was glad, for sure, but not tonight. Tomorrow they could talk about how she finally found someone, she wasn't the third wheel on a Clarke/Cailin date or how she never got to see him anymore.

"I'm glad we're doin' this," said Kelly grabbing both of Erin's hands tightly. "We needed this."

"We did," Erin said softly looking at her husband's lips as they kissed her hands.

Severide had a faint teasing in the brain that things had not been "all good." He knew something was nagging at Erin, at him, ever since the take down of Mykola and almost take down of his girl. They'd get back to normal. The other night had been one he wouldn't soon forget. This was another good step.

"Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you… that little girl, Abby," Kelly began. "She was released today, good as new. Mom got out a couple 'o days ago."

The smile on her husband's face making her smile even more than the news.

"That's amazing, Kelly. All thanks to my hero," she said reaching for his hand. The fireman was reminded of that tiny hand in his.

"Sometimes things work out. I don't know why that little girl connected, just did."

"I get it. Same with the ones that get in my heart. Nadia," Erin added, thinking about her own life, the way she'd gotten into Voight's heart twenty years ago. "The fact that Abby's about the sweetest thing ever doesn't hurt," said the detective recalling the "quick" drop off of some balloons she joined Kelly for that turned into a 45 minute visit. Her heart melted more for her man watching him entertain the little one with a goofiness that would've done Shay proud.

A silence overcame their table, both lost in thoughts.

Kelly broke the quiet…"So someone's got a big birthday comin' up, old lady."

"I'm not the only one turnin' 35, buddy," she laughed, her birthday in her thoughts lately too.

"Let's take a trip," Kelly suggested. He'd searched a few island destinations wanting to get a honeymoon re-do. Do it right. "You in a bikini for a week is somethin' I could live with."

"I could stand to see you in a Speedo, husband," Erin teased, that flicker lighting up her eyes.

"Don't hold your breath, detective," Kelly laughed thinking he'd rather be dead than caught in one of those junk holding things..

Erin laughed at the image of her own doing… "Uh, let's think this through. Remember what happened last time we went away?" she joked, recalling their impromptu marriage when they snuck off to a cabin for a quick "getaway."

Kelly roared louder, "Who knows, we might end up with a bun in the oven." The sick look on his wife's face immediately sent an "Oh shit" signal in Severide's gut.

The slight cloud passed as Erin took in a deep inhale, count to three she told herself. She was ready to change the subject, ramble on about an island destination, do her usual when the conversation turned to some of her deepest fears.

Instead… "Worse things could happen," she said lightly, watching as Kelly's face went from worried to lit up like a Christmas tree in half a second.

Damn, she thought, if he didn't just try to impregnate me from across this table. Erin's nervous laughter turned into a genuine chuckle as she pictured his sperm jumping to attention.

Kelly raised his eyebrows knowing he would never fully understand this woman in front of him. And that was okay.

* * *

"Let's do this Shay. How'd that date with Holly go?" asked Kelly appreciating that his best friend had waited till he had his Cheerios, one cup of coffee, and settled into his favorite chair at 51.

"Jesus, I think you're moving slower every day," she grumbled, curling herself up on the couch facing him. "Well, let me tell you that I really like this one," the grumble gone.

"Go on," he said taking a sip of the black.

"First off, she's not crazy."

"Good to hear," he commented thinking about the long line of not so stable women who paraded in and _on_ Shay's heart through the years.

"She might be a little crazy, but in a good way." The blonde talked non-stop about the evening leaving nothing out, nothing to the imagination. That was their way.

"Well, she had me at Tombstone," laughed Kelly when Shay stopped to take a breath.

They were both laughing loudly when the sound of Brett's normally small voice came resonating from the area almost inside the common room, more from the short breezeway leading to the truck bay.

"Harrison, let go of me!" demanded the blonde paramedic as an unfamiliar face led her by the arm.

"C'mon Sylvie. Enough's enough," he said coldly getting a firmer grasp of her arm.

"Hey, what the hell's goin' on here?" yelled Kelly grabbing the collar of this asshole roughing up one his paramedics.

"Get your hands off me," yelled the man, loosening his grip on Brett's arm.

"Lieutenant, it's okay, really. I'm sorry to bring this to the house…" the tears in Sylvie's eyes were overflowing now, running down her cheeks.

Boden was front and center having heard the commotion. "What can I do for you?" he asked the retreating acquaintance of his paramedic.

"Nothing. A personal matter," the guy muttered trying to shake off the fireman's hands that weren't leavin'.

"Doesn't look like she wants to talk right now, so why don't you get the hell out of here," Kelly said with a smile, a smile that dared the man to say one more word.

"Sylvie, I'll see you later," he grumbled, finally throwing off those hands holding his shirt.

"And you," he said looking Kelly in the eyes, about the same height, taking a step forward. "Don't think I don't know what's goin' on."

"The only thing goin' on is gonna be you on your ass if you don't get the hell out of here," said Kelly taking his own step forward.

The guy thought about it for a second before letting out a laugh, turning, and walking out of 51.

"Chief, I am so sorry," said Brett between sniffles, wiping her sleeve across her face. "Lieutenant, thank you. I am so sorry."

"Brett quit sayin' that. Everyone's got a crazy in their life. Some of us work with ours," he said cracking a smile, shooting Shay a look.

"Let's take a walk," said chief leading the way to his office. The paramedic followed with her partner in tow.

Boden let Shay join them knowing the new girl didn't have anyone in Chicago, didn't really have anyone yet at 51. Leslie her only friend.

"What was that all about?" asked Boden taking a seat knowing this was gonna take a while.

Is it wrong I'm hoping for a call, thought chief when Brett was half way through her story. Her story about an ex fiancé hoping for a fairy tale reunion. An ex fiancé who'd flown half way across the country for that reunion.

"Has he ever gotten physical before?" asked Shay not liking the way Harrison had a hold of Sylvie's arm.

There was a pause, so slight Boden didn't recognize it. "Not really. I'll talk to him tomorrow, he'll go home, and that'll be it."

"Not alone," said Shay shooting off the words before chief could say them. "Kelly and I are coming with."

Brett nodded thinking of the way Severide had manhandled her ex. She could've used him six months ago back home, needed him six months ago when Harrison again hadn't taken no as an answer. That time no one was there to hear her voice.

* * *

The meet went down without a hitch. Harrison relented and said he was leaving, for now. Brett gave him an awkward hug with Shay and Kelly remaining silent throughout, her backup not really needed.

"That was easy," said Shay brightly as they climbed into Sylvie's car.

"Too easy if you ask me," commented Kelly, glancing back darkly at the man watching them through his motel window.

The next day Brett brought in a huge tray of cookies for her hero. "Where's Kelly?" she asked Shay, holding the heavy platter.

"Oh, it's Kelly now?" asked Leslie eyeballing the treats enviously. "He's runnin' late, car wouldn't start. Erin's dropping him."

"It's time for you to trade in that piece of shit, or take it to the junkyard," said Erin coming in to say a quick hi to the guys.

"I know you did not just say that," Kelly sputtered, thinking of his beauty stuck at home. "I feel like you might take me to the scrapyard with a few more miles," he muttered half under his breath.

"Erin!" called Shay seeing the arguing pair, running to Kelly's better half. "So did you get rid of that ridiculous macho man mobile…"

"Jesus, you too? Traitor…" he mumbled seeing Brett watching from afar.

"Brett, get over here!" he called, hoping he'd have an ally in her. "Meet my wife, Erin," he said grabbing the heavy tray out of her hands.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Severide," she said glumly trying to muster up a smile.

"Erin, please. Nice to meet you. Shay's had the best things to say about you." The disappointment in the blonde's face was obvious, _Shay_ has nice things to say. _Shay_.

"I love it here, already. Lieutenant, those are for you," she said indicating the cookies he was holding. "After yesterday, and all your help getting rid of my ex. I really appreciate it," she was smiling now looking into those piercing blue eyes, everything else blurring into obscurity.

Erin's eyebrows raised, but she kept a clamp on her mouth. "Well, nice meeting you Sylvie. Shay we're having a girl's night soon. Maybe a weekend. Keep an eye on this one for me, okay?"

Kelly bent over to kiss his woman. "Walk me out?" she asked.

"I thought you were gonna say hi to the guys?" Kelly queried, handing the tray over to Shay.

"I thought you said you had house business yesterday? You were getting rid of a fiancé? What gives?" she asked wondering why he always had to play the hero, why he couldn't let someone else step up for once.

"It _was_ house business, helping one of our own." Kelly answered, confusion on his face.

"You seriously don't have a clue," Erin said incredulously. "You are lucky you're pretty, husband," she added breaking out in a laugh.

"Feel like there's an insult in there," he protested something, not sure what.

"Go enjoy your, uh, cookies. I'll see you tomorrow." Erin reached up grabbing Kelly's face, kissing him hard on the lips.

"Love you," he whispered, his hands instinctively going to the back of her head, caressing her hair.

"I love you," she whispered back.

Harrison watched the pair from his car parked discreetly across the station. He had a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. So this guy wasn't just playing his girl but this other one as well. He knew it would take some maneuvering, some fancy talking, maybe more than the pictures he was currently snapping, but he would get Sylvie back. He vowed he wasn't leavin' Chicago without her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for keeping those awesome reviews rolling in. Again, I am overwhelmed and find myself smiling with each one. I love that you love Linseride as much as I do! Now that Chicago Fire has put our couple on deep freeze, I feel like all we have is FF. The drama is peeking in … hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"Who needs this weekend?" asked Shay piling out of Erin's car grabbing the two bottles at her feet. "Looky what I brought!" she said showing the girls some new tequila she found. "Cinnamon!"

"That's wrong on so many levels," remarked Cailin grabbing her pillow and two bottles of her own. Whiskey.

"I so need this weekend, but I might just sleep ladies," grumbled Gabby waking up from her car nap, grabbing her snuggie.

"You sure about that whole firefighter thing? We can always get back together. Kiss and make up?" Shay said hope in her eyes.

"Thought you liked your new partner?" asked Erin who'd done most of the driving to Benny's not so secret cabin. Kelly's dad bought the place during his stint with wife #2 as a getaway when he needed to escape the pressures of family life. But Becky, his current wife, had turned the place into a family destination, a place they brought the kids to. She also made sure to offer it up to Benny's first born. In turn, he'd offered it to the women in his life.

"I like her. She's sweet," replied Shay slowly, change of topic needed.

"But?" pried Erin, her interest piqued. The way the girl had eyeballed her husband was kind of funny, but also a little irritating. Kelly, in typical Kelly fashion, didn't have a clue.

"Let's get all this crap inside. Then we'll drink and gossip. That okay with you Lindsay?" Shay cut her off, overloading her arms with two bags, her pillow, and a blanket, the bottles teetering in both hands.

"Be careful. Wouldn't want you to drop those things," warned Gabby, trudging inside slowly.

"Drop them, drop them," whispered Cailin while Erin snickered from behind.

"Be nice Callahan," she warned. "I heard that's Clarke's drink of choice," Erin teased. "That or a lemon drop."

"Jeff wouldn't know a lemon drop if it dropped on his head," snorted Cally trying to picture her cowboy with any drink where a pinkie had to be lifted. Not happenin'.

"Lips sealed on this one, but Kelly drank four mimosas two weekends ago when I made him go to Officer Delpino's couples shower." Erin rattled it off and waited for the fallout.

Shay about came out of her skin, the women thinking the bottles were going to bite it. "What?!"

"He was grumpy and that was all there was, sooo…" Erin shrugged her shoulders innocently, laughing at her reveal.

The girls giggled as they dropped their stuff in the main room, a small noise coming from the couch. The gurgling sound got louder with a snort mixed in.

Shay peeked over the back of the couch and her best girl was wrapped up with the snuggie, snoring lightly, deep in slumber.

* * *

"Kelly, I hate to call you when you're off but I, I…" Brett was sobbing now…" think Harrison's outside my apartment. I'm probably imagining the whole thing," Sylvie had argued with herself for half an hour, finally breaking down. Shay was out of town… she really had no one else and the fear of seeing her supposed gone ex parked outside her place sent chills down her spine.

"Brett, stop speaking. Text me your address. I gotta buddy over and we'll head by, check it out," Kelly thought she was crazy. No, he knew she was crazy, but she was family now. All the guys took their little broken bird under their wings at 51, Kelly wished she'd called one of them instead of him.

He hung up, looking at Clarke and the enormous pile of chicken wings calling his name. "You up for a quick run?" he asked his friend. "It'll be a fast one."

Jeff was still stifling a laugh at the Cally text about mimosas…wonderin' how he would work that into tonight. It had to be done. Severide had to pay for moving violation of the guy code.

"So she's got a crazy ex who showed up at the house threatening her?" asked Clarke not looking forward to this little side excursion. Wings, beer, maybe a mimosa for Severide… that was all he wanted on his plate tonight.

Kelly shook his head "yes."

"And you didn't get Erin involved in this why?" Clarke asked, trying to get a clearer picture of the situation.

"Now that's a story for later tonight. She thinks this kid's got a crush on me…"

"Aaaah, now the truth comes out," laughed Jeff imagining Cally's reaction if he was playing hero to a cute young thing at his house. He knew he wasn't that brave… or stupid.

"Nah, it ain't like that," protested Kelly. "She's harmless."

They pulled up and Kelly saw the ex immediately. "Shit, he is here. That's him," he said pointing to a blue Ford parked across from the address Brett sent him.

Kelly flew out of his car going to his trunk for his favorite tool, the halligan. Reaching in he took it with one hand, slapping it in the other back and forth before Clarke had a chance to reach him.

"Whoa, hold up, Severide. Let's think this through," he said putting a hand on Kelly's arm.

Kelly knocked loudly on Harrison's door. The man inside pushed lock three times even though his door was already sealed tight.

"Open up. I just wanna talk," yelled Kelly throwing the halligan to the side. "See," he said holding up his hands, "just talk."

Harrison shook his head no, no way in hell.

"Okay, you wanna do it this way." Kelly picked the halligan back up and started prying on the door, the twisting metal sound mimicking nails on an old fashioned chalkboard.

"Severide, stop!" Clarke grabbled his friend's shoulders. "I'm pretty sure he's not doin' anything illegal," reasoned Jeff.

"You!" yelled Kelly tapping on the glass in front of the man's face. "You are leavin' town now or I'm gonna use this on your face." He moved the tool up and down. "Got it?" he asked holding the halligan with both hands in a baseball grip.

Harrison started up his car, fumbling with his key. He sped off not looking at the fireman until he was a block down, seeing the insane lieutenant in his rear view mirror. We'll see about that, he thought, the distance helping with those bravery genes. We'll see.

* * *

Sleep was out for Dawson. Drinking was in. The tribe had spoken. They were so far in they'd gone through three bottles like they were gulping water, each woman needing this weekend for different reasons.

"Time to break out the good stuff," slurred Shay, opening one of her cinnamon tequila bottles.

"I'm pretty sure this is violating every part of my Dominican heritage," said Gabby. "Tequila and lime muy perfecto, adding cinnamon is sacrilege."

"Did I tell ya how much I missss you, Dawson?" asked Shay slamming the bottle down on the coffee table after filling the shot glasses lined up, spilling a good share along the way.

"I miss you too," murmured Gabby eyeing the light brownish liquid in her glass.

"Brett is sweet. I like her. I do, but…"

Erin's senses came alive, tuning into the words to follow.

"She's not all the way in, you know? Like she's just spending some time before she runs off."

"Wait," Shay added dramatically trying to fill the still full glasses. "She is all in when it comes to your man!" she giggled, elbowing Erin hard on the arm. "All the way in." She laid her head on Erin's shoulder, smoothing out the brunette's hair.

"Shay. Leslie," Lindsay shook her, rousing her from fading off to drunk la la land. "Whaddya mean all in?"

"She's in lurve. All in lurve with those blue eyes, the way she watches his every move. So cute. Kel says I'm crazy, but I think he likes it." Leslie laid her head back on that soft shoulder.

Dawson was out, snoring loudly now. Shay done for the night.

"Get that look off your face, Lindsay. You know Kelly adores you," Cailin remarked, seeing those eyes narrow, the lips tighten in a straight line.

"It's just so _cute_, so damn _cute_," Erin smirked, throwing back a shot of the offending tequila, deciding the two cops would be the ones to empty that bottle.

Cally remained silent, knowing the detective was in no shape to hear the voice of reason. It would have to wait for tomorrow. Tonight was for drinking.

* * *

Kelly woke to a pounding on his door to match the pounding in his head.

Just go away, he thought burying his head under his pillow. Ignore it.

That damn pounding kept going on, a battering ram at his door. Jesus, you'd think there was a fire.

"Comin!" he called out, grabbing a T-shirt and sweats to throw on.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

"I'm comin!" he yelled louder, swallowing hard, rubbing his eyes as he headed to the person behind all the knocking who he figured was the devil himself.

He swung his door open and was met with the glowering face of Jay Halstead with Adam Ruzek, looking down, a few paces back.

"Lieutenant Severide, some charges were filed against you this morning. We're gonna have to take you in just to talk…"

"You have gotta be shttin' me?" Kelly interrupted, not believing the words coming out of the cop's mouth. "I didn't touch that piece 'o…"

Jay's turn to interrupt… "We can work all this out at the station. You wanna get changed?"

"I ain't getting' changed. This is crazy. My wife's gonna be home in a couple of hours, and she'll get it all straightened out," Kelly replied, scratching his head as he turned around to go brush his teeth.

Jay snapped. Later, he would explain to Antonio it may have been the way Kelly said "wife" or maybe how he dismissed them by turning around like they'd just delivered the daily paper. Whatever it was, he felt a fury he hadn't experienced since facing the enemy in Afghanistan. This time the enemy was a hung over fireman in sweats.

"Kelly Severide," said Jay pulling out his cuffs, with Adam staring, mouth agape, frozen with indecision. "You are under arrest for the assault of Harrison Wetz. You have the right to remain silent…"

The fireman was about as stunned as Ruzek. He felt his arms being pulled together as he was bent over the dining room table, the cold iron snapped onto his wrists, being led out of his apartment into the unmarked car outside.

"You sure about this?" asked Adam nervously.

"More than sure," Jay said, speeding to the PD to let Kelly experience his playground for a couple of hours. Would do him some good, he told himself.

The fireman was processed, fingerprinted, put through the ringer just like any other criminal arrested on a fine Sunday morning. Voight and his IU team were off, boss' orders. Halstead and Ruzek were laying the groundwork for their next case, a drug ring setting up shop at the University of Chicago. The call came in and the desk sergeant on duty immediately informed Erin's team knowing they would discreetly handle it. Better for them to question Lindsay's husband.

"We'll find out what went down and get his statement. Sure it's nothing. Let Erin deal with it and _him_ when she gets back," Halstead told his younger counterpart who was looking like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Now, here they were hauling in a fireman. A fireman married to one of their own. Ruzek knew this was bad, but what was he gonna do? Followin' orders, he rationalized, realizing that would come up way short with Detective Lindsay. He made a beeline for the bathroom where he could shoot a quick text to Voight. He'd chosen. He was more afraid of Erin than the guy at his side.

Officer Camarillo, assigned to the drunk tank for a rotation, was a jumbled mess once Ruzek told her who this guy was. The rookie offered Kelly his phone call, several phone calls when Casey's phone went straight to voicemail. He tried Clarke … the same.

"You should call Erin. Weren't you sayin' she would take care of this for you?" Halstead asked turning to leave.

Kelly felt like he'd just been double dog dared. He wasn't doin' it. No way in hell.

"She's havin' fun. I can hang out for a couple 'o hours," Kelly retorted with a grin. He knew Casey or Clarke would probably be there within 30 minutes.

"Suit yourself," Jay called out casually, making his way upstairs.

Officer Camarillo came back in the holding tank… "Mr. Severide, please let me call your wife, Detective Lindsay. Please. Or Sergeant Voight, he'll…"

"You ain't callin' anybody! You sure as hell aren't callin' Erin's boss. Just hang tight, one of my buddies will get the voicemail and spring me. I'm fine sweetheart," Kelly said easing his tone.

Severide thought the young officer was going to have a breakdown or something. "It's okay. Just go do whatever you do up there and Matt Casey or Jeff Clarke will be here soon," he reassured.

She went back to the receiving desk, reluctantly, slowly… so unsure.

Kelly stretched his legs out, wrapping his arms around his body, tucking his hands under his armpits. He figured he'd catch a little nap, probably gonna be a short one.

He felt something kicking his leg lightly at first, harder the second round. He slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey, so your woman's a cop?" sneered the young man in front of him. _Man_ was a loose term. The guy was maybe 19, obviously gang affiliated, tats and markings covering his body, at least all the parts you could see. His face was adorned with some permanent ink too.

Kelly scanned the others in the cell he hadn't bothered to take stock of before. Tat face had a friend who was still sitting, legs sprawled in front of him, arms folded, smiling broadly. Same ink, same Dickies, same white T.

A homeless man was mumbling to himself in a corner, some Bible verse over and over, probably in the warmest place he'd been in months. A big guy with a mop of black hair was trying to make himself smaller on the opposite end of the cell. He was dressed in dark jeans and button up, he definitely would've won best dressed of this crew. Kelly realized how ridiculous he looked in sweats, T-shirt and no shoes.

"Burn off," he grumbled, showing no interest in the wiry guy still standing in front of him.

"I wonder if your old lady's ever arrested me. That would be a trip. Wouldn't it, Skinny?" he called to his compadre who nodded his head once.

"So why you in here if your woman's a cop? I know if Destiny was a cop, I wouldn't be sittin' my ass in here." Skinny nodded again in agreement.

"You must not be treatin' her right. Satisfyin' her, if you know what I mean," he laughed with his buddy joining in.

Kelly stood up taking in a deep sigh. "Why don't you get your ass back over to your guy, sit down, and shut up." He took a step forward figuring most of these gang assholes backed down when they weren't surrounded by their kind. Tat face only had the one friend to impress. Kelly guessed he'd slink off to the bench on the other side of the cell.

Tough guy turned around laughing, taking a step toward his friend. "Yeah, you need to send her to me. I'll show her sweet ass a thing or two," he snarled turning back around to face the fireman, both hands balled up tightly.

Kelly guessed wrong.

* * *

**I know y'all don't want Jay in here, but, oh he makes such an interesting little kink/foil in Linseride land. Haha! What do you think?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Your awesome reviews make me want to post a new chapter every day! Thank you for the response to this one – can't believe it. I LOVE reading your thoughts.**

* * *

Kelly didn't see the balled up fist until it was too late. It landed on his upper cheekbone catching him off guard, flashing his vision to a blinding white for a couple of seconds. He flew across the bench, shaking his head a couple times before popping back up. The guy was wiry, not lookin' like much, but he was fast as hell. Severide steadied himself knowing what to expect now. He spied a flash of gold in the kid's hand, looked like little chains, jewelry or somethin. It clicked why that fist packed such a wallop. God only knew where he stashed the chains to avoid detection.

Skinny got up, not wanting his friend to have all the fun.

"You want some?" yelled Kelly. He'd been in his share of fights and knew intimidation was half the battle.

"Yeah, I want some… and I'm gonna get some," Skinny answered, the two young men rushing at the fireman.

Kelly sidestepped Tat face, sending him head first into the metal bench. Skinny launched onto Severide, pushing him against a wall, both men with fists flying. The blows being divvied out evenly… one for you, one for me.

Well-dressed was up now, screaming… "Officer! Officer! We need you in here!" He was jumping up and down, hands on the bars, sweat stains expanding from his pits across his back.

Officer Camarillo had her hands full up front. A hyped up, drugged up felon had nearly gotten a gun away from the cop who brought him in. Camarillo wrestled the man to the ground, the three of them rolling around in a game of stay alive. The cops won. They were working on getting the guy in leg restraints when she glanced at the monitor showing the Battle Royale underway in her cell.

"Oh my God!" The officer took off in a sprint, right hand on her weapon, left hand holding her keys. The other officer radioed for reinforcements, still shaken up by the near gun heist from his holster.

Kelly was being held from behind by Skinny while Tat face punched him in the ribs once, twice … he grunted loudly on the third one looking up, relieved to see Camarillo unlocking the cell.

"But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar…" the homeless man droned on like he had all during the fight.

"Shut up!" the officer barked at him. "You two, back off now!" Her voice had the weight of a strict high school teacher, but the gun she was pointing at the men carried a weight of its own.

The cell was silent. The Bible verse cut short, well-dressed guy in the farthest corner, Skinny and Tat face staring at the officer weighing their options. They dropped Kelly and backed away.

Severide got up quickly, Camarillo grabbing his arm, pulling him out of the cell, locking it quickly. "You okay?" she asked looking at the shiner he was sporting, his arm holding his stomach.

"Yeah, yeah. Nothin' broken," he answered, being led to the front as two cops ran to the cell.

"You're leaving me in here with these animals?!" yelled well-dressed, hands back on the bars. The reinforcement cops unlocked the cage again, grabbing the two criminals roughly, shoving them to the cell next door. Their fun over for the night.

* * *

Officer Camarillo was almost in tears, apologizing profusely, repeatedly. She had Severide upstairs now, deciding a call to Detective Lindsay was mandatory. She'd sent for a bag of ice not sure what else she was supposed to do. There wasn't any protocol for "how to handle the husband of a detective getting beaten up under your watch." Camarillo was realizing this police work was more improvise than by the book.

Halstead and Ruzek strolled in laughing about the last college student they interviewed… takin' bets on whether he wet himself under Jay's barrage of questions.

Adam saw Kelly first… "Aw, crap," he said also glimpsing his law enforcement career swirling away down a toilet.

"Wha…" began Halstead. He didn't say anything, the tightening in his chest making it hard to breathe.

"What the hell happened?" he questioned the young officer, sitting by Kelly, tapping her foot nervously watching the fireman like he might spontaneously combust or turn into a pumpkin.

"You don't gotta answer that. He's the one that threw me in there," Kelly spit out, holding the ice pack to his swelling cheek and eye.

"Yeah, you do gotta answer that. What the hell happened?" asked Jay again.

Before Officer Camarillo could answer, Casey walked in, phone in hand, spying Kelly immediately.

"What the hell happened?" he asked Halstead and Ruzek. "You okay?" he turned to his friend.

Before Kelly could answer Clarke came rushing in, followed closely by Hank Voight.

The sergeant pushed in front of Clarke.

"What the hell happened?!" he yelled to Halstead and Ruzek, Officer Camarillo figuring it was a what the hell kind of day.

* * *

Cailin got news of the big Kelly bust first. Why, Jeff, why, do you have to put this on me to tell Erin, she thought bitterly. When the text came in, she knew something was up. It was a three parter and Clarke never sent that much in a text.

She read each part, eyes widening… Kelly arrested … helping out some paramedic at 51 with an asshole problem … halligan to a car door … HE DID NOT TOUCH THE GUY.

All caps? Jeff did not use all caps. Then the last part … roughed up … in CPD now …will call when I know more … you better head home.

Shit. Cailin surveyed the room, Dawson and Shay sprawled on the couch, both sleep wrestling for control of the Snuggie. Erin lay on the floor atop a sleeping bag, hair covering her entire face.

I'm a detective. A detective in one of the most elite units of the CPD. I can do this, Cally thought, slowly bending down to Erin, brushing her friend's hair out of her face.

"Erin," she said softly, rubbing the brunette's shoulder.

"Mmmm," Lindsay groaned, reaching out to touch Kelly's face. Only it wasn't Kelly.

"Callahan," she rasped out smiling at her mistake.

"You feel okay?"

"Yes," Erin thought she might still be drunk. "Good." She tried to push up and her head disagreed with her vehemently. "Ooooh," she moaned, grabbing her forehead.

"Let me get you some water." Cally poured a tall glass, dumping two ibuprofens in her hand. She offered them to the cop, putting off the inevitable for a few more minutes.

Erin emptied the glass, grateful for the pills, but knowing she'd need much more than that to stop the throbbing and spinning in her head.

"What gives Callahan?" she asked, the detective in Lindsay kicking in. They were on no schedule.

"Don't freak," Cailin began.

"Whenever someone tells me don't freak, it's a definite freak out situation. Spill it," Erin commanded, sobering up quick.

"Kelly's fine, but there's been a little incident."

Erin reached for her phone, her dead phone that had rested silently in her pocket all night. Her thoughts dared to race to those dark corners of her mind where she never wanted to travel. The images of Kelly hurt in some fire, injured so badly he wasn't coming home that night, or worse… those were the things that could keep her up at night, the things that she pressed far, far away. She'd lived through those things. Thank God, he had too.

"He's at CPD. Jeff's there, Casey, Voight, uh, Halstead."

"Cailin, you're speaking in code. What the hell happened?"

* * *

Kelly was at home nursing his shiner, flanked by Clarke and Casey.

"Can't we take you in? Make sure nothin's broken?" asked Matt, concern seen in his knitted brow.

"I'm good, this is hurtin' more than my ribs," replied Kelly pointing at his eye, covered with a bag of frozen peas.

"They're almost here," relayed Jeff, reading another text from Cailin. "Severide, why don't we get you checked out, before Erin gets here," he added agreeing with Casey.

"I've been hit harder in 7th grade, Clarke," Kelly said with his usual bravado. "What'll they do for me? Wrap 'em. Shay'll do that." He put his feet up on the coffee table, grunting with the stirring of his midsection, Matt and Jeff looking at each other.

"Go home. It ain't gonna be pretty here. Erin's gonna have my ass," Severide commented, both eyes shut, not seeing the nods of agreement from his friends.

"All the girls are headin' here," Jeff answered, retrieving some beers from the fridge. "This'll make you feel better," he said, placing the bottles on the coffee table by Kelly's feet.

They didn't wait long for the sound of the door opening, bags dropping in the front, and a rush of women jockeying for position on the couch next to the newly sprung lieutenant.

"Oh God," said Erin lifting the peas off her husband's face. "Are you really okay?" she asked looking for the tell-tale hesitation that would say he wasn't.

"I'm good." No hitch in his response.

Shay moved in to get a closer look. "Where'd they hit you?"

Kelly pointed to his eye.

"I can see _that_. Where else?" she nudged Erin over a bit, disregarding the look she got.

He lifted up his T-shirt wanting to get it over with.

Erin swore she felt it in her ribs, seeing the blue on Kelly's.

Shay pushed in, feeling all around, made him breathe in, hold it before she was satisfied.

"He'll live," she said rustling his hair as she got up to get more ice.

"Can you wrap 'em before you leave?" Kelly asked.

"Sorry, bud. The new protocol is no wrapping broken ribs. It makes you feel better, but can lead to higher risk of pneumonia or collapsed lung." She gave him a kiss on the head, aware of the look on Erin's face. "Probably not even cracked, but don't wanna take any chances," she called out from the freezer.

"If you're good, we're gonna clear out," said Casey, putting a hand on Kelly's shoulder.

"I'm good," he replied wanting to get up.

"Sit your ass down," Dawson ordered, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "Call me if you need anything."

"I'm staying the night, so I've got this," Shay piped in, Erin shaking her head yes.

Cailin was getting the 411 from Clarke at the dining room table, the whispers becoming loud.

"And what made you think a halligan would be the answer?" she whisper yelled.

"I didn't touch the thing," Jeff defended himself.

"Hey! Callahan. Clarke had my six, that's all. This is on me," Kelly called wishing the whole damn apartment would clear out.

"Had your six, huh?" she snorted figuring he'd heard that from Erin before. "Well, try not to get into any more trouble tonight, okay?" She walked over to the detective, squeezing her hand tightly.

"Call me if you need anything. Anything," Cally leaned down giving Kelly a quick touch on the shoulder.

She grabbed Jeff's hand, cursing under her breath. She made a mental date to talk to one Jay Halstead first thing in the morning.

* * *

"Boden's lettin' me go in for desk duty," Kelly informed Erin in the morning. He was moving slower than a 70-year-old man, everything taking three times as long to accomplish.

"He's _letting_ you?! I do not want you going in, Kelly. I know you say you have no sick days, but I want you to rest. Please." Erin was getting ready herself, having to get herself to the CPD for an important meet.

"I'm not goin' on calls, probably lay down all day and pretend to do paperwork. It's good. I'm good. Shay's goin' in too."

"And that is the only reason I'm not calling your chief to give him a piece of my mind," she kissed him on the forehead, grabbing one of his boots.

Kelly laughed at his girl, regretting it instantly with a jarring of his sore midsection… recalling the Cindy Hermann call to Boden about a "list of concerns" she had with 51. She wanted to know what "precautions" were being taken to ensure that Christopher did not get hurt again, didn't chief know that he was the father of five young boys who needed their father. Boden played nice, giving the Mrs. all the answers she wanted, needed to hear. "Hermann!" he yelled to the common room once he'd hung up. Everyone heard the ripping of something that chief gave his older statesman about wives being kept in check, about not wasting his time. Yes, that was all before Donna came prancing into his heart. Boy, things had changed. With all of them.

"I'm checking on you today. Coming by, okay?" asked Erin, the distress evident in her eyes.

"Lookin' forward to it." Kelly smiled, putting his other boot on himself. "See, I can function," he added.

Erin was out the door, speeding down the streets of her city, deep in thought. Kelly remained in the forefront, but somewhere in the outskirts of her brain, another man entered… Jay Halstead. She, like Cailin, made a vow to talk to her partner. It could wait no longer.

* * *

Shay helped Kelly hobble into 51 and into the waiting office of Chief Boden.

"How you feelin' Severide?" asked chief, smiling, not bothering to get up.

"I'm good, chief," Kelly replied.

"Glad to hear it because I'm not doing so well. No, not good at all," Boden explained, shaking his head back and forth.

The yells of disappointment could be heard all the way back in the locker room, maybe the locker room of the next firehouse over. Boden was tearing into his lieutenant about reputation, about malicious destruction of property, about the good of the house.

"If you ever end up in jail again, you better pray for the death penalty because there will be nothing waiting for you here. Do I make myself clear?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," Kelly responded getting up to slink back to his office.

He shut his door softly hoping Shay was on a run, somewhere far away. He couldn't deal with her right now.

There was a soft knock. "Come in," Kelly called out.

It was another blonde… Sylvie Brett with a plate of cupcakes in an array of colors, all decorated with little sprinkles.

"Lieutenant, I wanted to say I am so sorry about what happened to you. I should've never called you, gotten you involved." Brett's eyes were welling over as Kelly got up to take the plate from her hands.

"This is unnecessary. We take care of our own here. You're part of the family," Severide began, taking a chocolate cupcake and peeling the paper down. "You didn't have nothin' to do with the halligan part, that was on me," he added stuffing his face with half the treat.

Sylvie made a mental note that chocolate seemed to be his favorite. She smiled watching him devour the little dessert and grab for another. Someone who appreciated her baking. Nothing wrong with a little cupcake for her hero. They were family after all.

* * *

**So, the moment we've all been waiting for is coming… Erin "talking" to Halstead. Haha! Surprised Kelly didn't get into more trouble with wifey? At least not yet… **

**Let me know what you think. Thank you for sharing in my little Linserideland and letting my creative juices go crazy.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Updating quickly because y'all are amazing with your kind words and reviews that make me smile! Those with an account – you know how much I appreciate you. Those without – shaylover, Aryal, Guests, EK, Jackie, Sossy, RIPShay, ErinSeveride, Joy, Roxie, and Natalie – aw, thank you for making my day!**

**Now, a little request if you are so inclined. If you are on Twitter and love Linseride, let's tweet Mr. Derek Haas, Taylor Kinney, and Sophia Bush on Tuesday during Chicago Fire and get #Linseride trending. Maybe we can raise Linseride from the dead (if only we could do the same with Shay). See you on Twitter for our Tuesday night #Linseride blast! Okay, now read on and truly hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Erin breezed past Sergeant Platt who was admiring the way the detective's hair kind of flowed as she zipped by. Trudy had been growing hers out recently and swung it a little to see if it would catch in the wind from passerbys.

"What do you want?" she barked at Burgess who caught her eyeballing Lindsay and was now looking at the sergeant suspiciously. "Unless you want to be downgraded to Junior Explorer tour guide, go solve some crime! And take the Boy Scout with you!" Platt spit out, glancing at Roman.

Erin heard none of it, she was scoped into her prey… Jay Halstead.

She barely took notice of Voight talking to the team about their latest operation, a takedown of some entrepreneurial drug dealers working in the land of local colleges and universities.

Her eyes didn't leave Jay.

"Lindsay, in my office," Hank rasped out.

"Later. Halstead, a word," Erin requested although nothing in her eyes said it was optional. She opened Voight's door, slamming it behind her partner.

"Erin," he began defensively. "I know what you're gonna say."

"No. You don't get to speak. You lost that privilege when you had my husband thrown in jail with a bunch of animals. When you let them know that he was married to cop. You will sit and listen." Her tone was just above a whisper, her finger was pointed firmly in his chest.

"We have been partners for a while now. You've always had my back. Always. We were more than partners."

The "were" made Jay try again.

"Erin. I screwed up. I never wanted this to happen. Had no way of knowing this would…"

"Shut up!" Erin's whisper rose to a boom that the team could hear now. "I don't want to hear your sorry's! I know this thing, this thing between us has been there, hanging around like some heavy fog. It's done, Jay! We're done. We are co-workers. We will show up, do our jobs, stay out of each other's way. That's it. Nothing more." Erin turned around, flying out of Voight's office, hands to her eyes. The anger dissolving into tears, tears that hadn't showed until now. She wanted to say more but she couldn't, emotion getting the best of her.

The fear from the phone call, the long drive home… that fear she expertly pushed down in dangerous situations, controlled always. Boiling up and appearing in the form of tears. Kelly, her Kelly, her husband. What could have happened.

Jay ran after her, head down, pushing everyone out of his way. "Erin! Hold up! Erin!"

He caught up with her just outside the station. "Erin, hear me out. You owe me that."

"Jay, I don't owe you anything. Not a damn thing. Now move."

He was standing in front of her, blocking her escape.

"Erin, we _are_ partners. You said it, more than partners. C'mon," Halstead pleaded. He knew he'd messed up and if there was any way he could go back in time…

"We are _nothing_," answered Erin, shoving him to the side.

He could only watch as she sped off and out of his life. The sinking feeling in his gut said forever.

* * *

Voight was on the phone to Erin in seconds.

"Kid, you okay?" he gruffed out not liking those tears, the chase, the whole damn business. He'd warned about hormones in the office, workplace romance, all that crap that could rot out the best of units. He'd seen it over and over, never a good outcome.

"I'm good, Hank. I'm gonna check on Kelly. I'll be in soon. Okay?"

"Hell, don't even come in today. Spend the whole afternoon at 51. I did wanna talk to you about Halstead. Just say the word and he's gone. I've got transfer paperwork filled out. All I gotta do is turn it in."

"No, I don't want to ruin his career," Erin said hesitantly. She knew if she'd talked to Hank when she first saw Kelly's face, Jay would've been out. But she also knew they _were_ more than partners. They'd been family. He would lay down his life for her. She would've done the same.

"I don't want to be partnered up with him though. Can we do that?" Erin asked.

"Whatever you want. I always do whatever the hell you want." They both knew she had the older man firmly wrapped from the day she first appeared in his life, drugged out of her mind with a juvy record two pages long.

"Thanks, Hank. I love you, you know."

"Me too, kid."

* * *

A week sped by and the parade of Brett baked goods continued at 51, everyone at the house saying they were getting fat just looking at them. Mouch insisted the Kelly intervention on Harrison's car was the best thing to happen in a long, long time.

Erin was not so convinced. She'd made it a habit to check on her guy a little more frequently even though his cheek was back to skin color. Turns out the ribs were just bruised because he was ready for full duty, no restrictions, feeling good.

But there was Erin heading into 51 with a cannoli she picked up from his favorite place.

"Hey, wife, what brings you around?" he asked getting up from squad's table.

"Brought my husband a little treat," she said dimpled grin bringing a grin to his face.

"I can't," he said rubbing his stomach. "Brett brought in a carrot cake. Homemade. I swear I gained a load just lookin' at it." He'd done more than look at it. After the second huge piece, he was prayin' for a slow day.

She dropped the bag on the table with a thud. Her dimples disappearing.

"But later I'm gonna enjoy that," he said, taking her in his arms for a tight hug. "Did I tell you that I'm the luckiest asshole in the world?"

"No, but it's good to hear because I don't know how to bake a damn thing other than cinnamon toast," Erin said only half joking.

"You do know that's not bakin' right? Smores don't count either," Kelly kissed her on the cheek, wanting more.

"Detective, join us for a quick game?" asked Mills, dealing out an extra hand for Erin. She was a fixture in the house now, been through the good and the far from good … she was officially part of 51.

"What're we playing?" Erin sat down staring at the five cards in front of her.

"You don't like cards," reminded Kelly, quizzical look across his face.

"_You_ don't have to join us, Lieutenant," Capp suggested, staring at the beautiful detective sitting in front of him.

"Yeah, you can go play with your saw in the back," added Erin, playfully smiling at the guys, holding her cards up.

"I'd rather play with you," Kelly replied, sitting at the table, daring Capp to say one more thing.

Erin sat through three hands of Texas Hold 'Em before she thought she had a hand that looked pretty good. Kelly was right, cards were not her thing. Family game night hadn't been a priority growing up, so learning the finer points of poker escaped her. Now how to find something to eat at 10:00 on a Tuesday night, that she could do.

"I'm doubling down," she proclaimed to roars of laughter from squad.

"Wrong game, babe," Kelly said, folding his cards. "That's blackjack. This is Hold 'Em. You can go _all in_," he instructed, touch of superiority dripping from his words and his lopsided grin.

"I'm all in," said Erin, trying not to smile, but those dimples peeking through.

"You have to wait till Capp bets, then it's your turn."

Capp folded. Everyone folded.

"What happened? I'm all in. No one wants to bet against me?" Erin looked at her measly winnings.

"You rush in like that and we all know you got one helluva hand. You gotta _ease_ into it," suggested Kelly with all of squad nodding their heads.

"Not good at easing into anything," Erin acknowledged, smiling at her man.

"I know," he said with his guys feeling like they were seeing something they shouldn't. "You wanna try some of that cake before Mouch finishes it up?" he asked getting up.

"I hate carrot cake," Erin teased, dimples back. "I'll try a sample of something else though." A nervous cough rose from Tony. Erin thought she saw Mills blush.

"What'd you have in mind?" asked Severide grabbing her hand, devilish grin rivaling hers. He led her to the back with many eyes following them.

Brett watched from the darkness of the ambo, sighing heavily as they took off to the Severide's office. She imagined that hand in hers, being led back to what she could only imagine. She sighed again, chastising herself. Sylvie Brett, get a grip. That's a married man, an obviously happily married man.

"How's it goin' partner?" asked Shay shattering fantasyland.

"Good, almost got it all cleaned," said Brett gloomily. "So Mrs. Severide stopped by?"

"It's still Lindsay, but, yeah, she popped in for uh…" Shay chuckled.

"A visit," answered Sylvie, frown encompassing her usually perky face.

"Ha," laughed Shay, "if that's what you wanna call it … Hey, how long's it been since you had a _visit_?" the blonde asked.

"I have plenty of visits," retorted Brett.

Shay's laugh could be heart all the way in the common room.

* * *

"Kelly, enough, what if someone comes in here?" Erin whispered as she banged her head against the wall for the second time. The little twin bed was squeaking and she was thinking this wasn't the best idea after all.

"What if Boden comes in?" Lindsay screeched in a low murmur.

"With Donna pregnant, I think he knows all about these special hugs," laughed Kelly loudly.

"Severide! Sssshhhh! You think you are too damn funny, don't you?" she asked trying not to laugh.

A loud knock resonated from his door.

"Ssshh!" Kelly snapped. "They'll go away," he said lowly in Erin's ear. She was on top of him, shirt off, bra still intact. "If we close our eyes, they'll leave."

"You are five!" Erin whispered loudly.

"Lieutenant! I need you out here. Now." It was Boden.

The fireman maneuvered the small frame off of him, buttoning his pants, throwing her shirt at her. She stifled another laugh.

"Comin!" Kelly called as if he were navigating down a long hallway to the front door. He opened it a crack, only letting his head pop through.

"You need to get your ass out here now," Boden said, no smile, seriousness reading on his face.

Kelly slid through the door, shutting it behind him. He followed chief out to the front where an officer was waiting.

Erin caught up to Kelly now, her heart skipping a beat at seeing Officer Roman looking for her husband.

"Lieutenant, the court's issued a summons, not here with a warrant," he explained locking eyes with Lindsay, as if to say it could be much worse.

They all let out a collective sigh… "What's the charge?" she asked stepping in front of the men to take the envelope from the young officer's hands.

"Malicious destruction of property," Roman replied, ready to get the heck out of 51. Those eyes of Detective Lindsay on him felt like heat seeking missiles.

"Hmmmph," Erin grunted as she shuffled through the paperwork

Roman hastily made his exit, muttering something like a "good luck" on his way out.

The furious look on Erin's face told Kelly he'd need much more than luck on this one. Harrison was the least of his worries… he was far more concerned with a gorgeous detective he called wife.

* * *

**Yes, you knew drama was coming. Much more ahead, but fear not… many, many sweet Linseride moments because they make me so happy. Married life and perhaps even ba… oops, can't give too much away. So, finally a Halstead take down. He got off light, but Erin took the high road as you knew she would.**

**Now, one more request. Check out my current faves – Burning Bright by 2NYwLove who is a far superior writer to me and is just so good she should be getting paid for this, and For the First Time by Robigna88 who loves Linseride as much as I do (maybe more) and paints a super sweet picture of the two (with plenty of drama). Have a great week, my friends!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for the awesome reviews, faves and follows. Well, on my birthday (today!) I have a little gift for you… an update. Thanks again to the readers – you make my day.**

* * *

Kelly realized this was a long time coming.

"You do know you're guilty of these charges, right?" Erin repeated, pacing the floor of their living room. It had been a torturous wait till her husband got off shift; the detective getting all the information she could on his accuser in the meantime. Harrison had a clean record, traffic violation his biggest brush with the law.

Erin thought the initial arrest by Halstead would be it. Voight had gotten that cleaned off the books; it was over. Or so she thought. Now, actual charges being filed, maybe a civil suit for damages to the car.

"I'll take care of it. It's my problem," answered Kelly. He'd been expecting a rant since the night she came back from the cabin. It had never come. Until now.

"Your problems are _my_ problems," Erin retorted. "And this one is going to cost us."

Kelly knew his wife's savings had been cleaned out by dear old dad, but he had a little nest egg. Lawyers' fees would have to come out of that.

"I screwed up. Just tryin' to help out Brett."

"Why you? Why do you have to always be the hero, Kelly? Look what it's done. We're going to be out thousands of dollars." She wanted to say more, but bit back the things eating at her. The way he went head first into everything, act first, think later. Yes, part of the attraction, she had to admit. But that part was wearing thin. All that talk about babies, about them being parents. How? When he was a child himself some of the time?

He had nothing to say. There was no answer. He knew he had that gotta save the world mentality, had it even in grade school. Never thought it was a problem. Until now.

* * *

Voight got involved without Erin knowing it. He was working with the judge… first, had Severide served with a summons not a warrant. Now he was digging up everything he could find on this piece of work called Harrison. So far, nothing.

"Lindsay, in my office."

"What's up, Hank?" she asked sitting in one of his chairs, running her hand through the front of her hair. She'd been a mess, coming in late, tired… not like the Erin Lindsay he'd watched her grow into.

"You okay?" he asked worried about the person he loved like a daughter, really was a daughter.

"Gettin' there," she answered honestly. "I just don't get why he had to do this. Use a damn fireman's tool on a guy's car he doesn't even know, all for a woman he just met."

"It's called a hero complex, kid. Firemen got it. Hell, we got," laughed Voight, thinking about some of the dumb moves he'd made, that had gotten him in deep with the Mrs.

His indiscretions usually involved way more than car damage.

"Cut him a break," offered Voight. "It came from a good place."

"A halligan to a car door came from a good place?" asked Erin.

"Yeah, I think it did."

* * *

"So I got this whole thing arranged, planned out, six nights, seven days." Kelly threw the printouts on the dining room table for Erin to see. He was hopin' this would improve her mood. She'd been upset about work, figured it was about Halstead, and ticked off at home, he knew because of the charges.

"How are you paying for this?" asked the brunette noticing the expensive looking resort featured prominently on the front.

"It's all good. Paid for." The grin spreading to his eyes almost broke her, got her to give in, say to hell with it, let's go. Almost.

"I hope you can get your money back because I'm not going anywhere until your turn as Rambo is resolved." Erin didn't touch the brochures, instead moving to the kitchen to make herself a salad.

"C'mon, babe. How long are you gonna be like this," Kelly tried going to her, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her on the back of the neck.

"The thing is … I think that everything is perfect, going our way and then…" Erin felt a lump forming in her throat, her voice raspier than usual.

"Nothing's ever gonna be perfect. I sure as hell ain't," Kelly said, holding her tighter. "But what we got is as perfect as it's gonna get. So quit bein' mad at me, kiss me, and let's do this thing."

"I wish it were that simple. The thing that pisses me off the most is that you seem blind to all that it's done."

"What's it done? Really? At the end of the day, what's it done?" Kelly asked feeling his temperature rise.

"You are kidding, right? What's it done? Well, let's take a look," Erin was boiling, her face was red, words rattling off at machine gun pace. "It's going to cost us a fortune to get you out of this. Beyond the money, you assaulted someone, vandalized his car. You showed no self-control. That's what scares me the most."

"I know you aren't saying that _you're_ scared of me," Kelly said, not believing his wife's words.

"I'm not, but what you did has screwed everything up. My work is shit. Your work must be shit. You don't just go through life doing everything you want. You grow up and act like an adult."

"Wait a minute. Your work problems are _my_ fault? You've gotta be shittin' me!" Kelly was desperately trying to keep his voice down.

"Yes! If you hadn't done this, none of that crap would be going on." Erin put her hands on her hips, settling in for battle.

"You know what? Forget I mentioned this," Kelly grabbed the printouts, crumpling them in his hands, heading to the trash can.

"Forgotten," retorted Erin slamming a tomato against the cutting board.

* * *

"Hey, wake up. Kelly," Erin whispered louder, shaking him. They'd been sleeping back to back, when she woke to an incessant buzz.

"Hmmmm? What?" Kelly mumbled more than half asleep.

"Your phone is blowing up. Get it," she snapped, rolling back over.

"Severide," he answered. "Brett, slow down. What's goin' on?"

Erin was up, flicking on the small lamp on her nightstand, waiting for him to hang up.

"Slow down, I caught about half that," he said, rubbing his eyes, getting up now.

"Give me fifteen. If he tries comin' up, call the police." Kelly hung up, heading for the bathroom.

"Let me guess. Hardison's back and sweet, little doe eyes is afraid of the big, bad, ex?"

"Doe what?" Kelly asked, rubbing his eyes till they were red.

"You cannot be that stupid you think you can go running over there and save blondie?" Erin got up and turned the bedroom lights on, the harsh light filling the room.

"I was planning on taking you with me. You and your badge." Kelly couldn't believe they were fighting about this.

"She needs to call 911 if she feels threatened. I am not going over there. We both need to stay far away from the situation. Kelly, all he needs is one more thing to get these charges bumped up."

"So we let Brett hang in the wind?"

"Yes. She's a big girl."

"I can't do that. We don't do that at 51," Kelly tried.

"You can call Boden, Casey, one of the other guys. It's not going to be you." Erin reasoned, her tone softening.

After a long pause… "You're right," Kelly admitted. "Sorry, wasn't thinkin.' I'll get chief on the phone."

Another call from Brett buzzed in before Severide could get anyone on the phone.

"What? You think he's _in_ your apartment?"

Erin grabbed the phone out of Kelly's hand. "Sylvie, it's Erin. Get in a closet, somewhere you can hide. If he finds you, keep calm, tell him what he wants to hear. I'm on the way."

Kelly pulled on jeans, grabbing his boots.

"Oh no. You are staying here. I'll call you when I know something." Erin was dressed and out the door in two minutes … Voight, already heading to Brett's.

* * *

"No one was there. She imagined the whole thing." Erin was beyond tired, glancing at the time on her phone.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow 'bout callin' me, okay?" said Kelly, rubbing her shoulders. "Thanks for goin' over there and in case I didn't say it earlier, I'm sorry." Not as hard as he thought it would be.

"Mmmmm, that feels good." Erin had the chance she needed to cool down. Seeing Sylvie Brett hunkered down in her closet, scared out of her mind, helped to soften the detective. "No, I don't think you said that earlier. I'm sorry too. I don't think I said that earlier."

"You gotta be tired, right?" asked Kelly, a hint of something in his eyes.

"It's 3:00 a.m. Severide, so yeah I'm tired," laughed Erin, deciding it was impossible to stay mad at this man for long. "But what did you have in mind?"

She found out at 3:02.

* * *

Kelly had the conversation with Brett two days later after immense coaching from Shay. She knew Sylvie was crushing big time with Kelly clueless. Leslie also knew how much toughness her partner could take from the fireman. It wasn't much.

Brett's eyes filled with tears about thirty seconds in.

"Hey now, no reason for tears," Kelly tried, reaching for her hand. They were outside the station and she felt like she was getting dumped by a long-time boyfriend.

"I know I've been relying on you too much. It's not like we're even friends," she said, tears flowing now.

"Sylvie," Kelly said holding both hands now, "we are more than friends. You're family now. We all are in the house. Just with the charges..."

"No, I'm the cause of those charges … and you even got arrested," she was sobbing now. "And got your ass k – k – kicked."

"Hold up. I did _not_ get my ass kicked. It was more of one shiner," Kelly laughed with Sylvie cracking her first smile. "Did I mention I was outnumbered?"

The blonde was laughing now, her admiration for the man in front of her growing. Kelly threw his arm around her, both laughing as they headed back in.

From across the street, a _still in town_ Harrison watched the two, a clearer picture forming in his clouded mind. The other night he'd seen the dark haired girl show up, the one he knew was with the fireman. She brought some old guy with her. Some cops rolled up later, and they all talked in front for a while. She must be a cop, detective, something like that.

He was getting good at this surveillance thing, he mused. Soon he would act and get his Sylvie back. He repeated his mantra that he wasn't leaving Chicago without her.

* * *

As quickly as the charges had been filed, they were dropped.

Harrison gave all the appearances of a man who was going to get his ex back the old fashioned way … woo her with gifts, dinners out, and words that sounded perfect. He called Sylvie saying he was back in town and not leaving until she realized she was still in love with him. He even popped in at 51 apologizing to chief and to Severide.

Brett was wary at first, but let her loneliness and their past romance seep in, beginning to trust her ex a little more each day.

"Another lunch?" she asked watching Harrison bring in enough lasagna for the entire house.

"Feeling like I'm part of the gang now, hon. Your family's, my family," he said dumping the huge container on the dining room table. "You wanna help me with the salad and bread."

"Now, what's our problem with this guy again?" asked Mouch opening up the silver package with all the delectable smells.

Shay slammed the foil down. "We think he might be lying. We don't trust him. No matter how good his lunches are. Got it?"

"Got it. Can we eat now?" Mouch was reaching for a napkin and plastic ware. "Like the lunch but not the man. Understood."

Harrison and Sylvie were back with an elaborate salad and garlic bread.

"Almost forgot… one more thing," he smiled kissing the blonde on the cheek. She pulled away blushing. "Be right back," he said shuffling back to his car.

Everyone was busy opening containers, digging in, as Harrison made one side stop on the way to dessert – squad's truck. He was in and out quickly, no one the wiser.

"Cannolis!" announced the outsider who was making himself an insider through the stomach.

Kelly even reached for one, ignoring Shay's narrowed eyes.

"What? They're my favorites." He smiled shoving half of it in his mouth.

"Eat your dinner first. Dessert after," Leslie reprimanded as Kelly shoved the rest in his mouth.

_**Truck 81 … Ambulance 61 … Squad 3… Car off Lakeshore Drive, submerged…**_

"See, dessert first," Kelly said still chewing. "Never know when this is gonna happen."

"Mills, suit up, you're going with me. Capp, be ready too." Kelly tried not to grin with the enthusiasm in his youngest squad member. He always took Capp in the water. Always. Not this time. He was givin' Peter a chance to freeze his assets off. Capp deserved a break once in a while, he thought letting that grin form.

The car careened off Lakeshore Drive, eyewitnesses saying it was speeding, looked like a couple of teens inside.

Severide hopped out of the squad's truck in time to see the tires of the overturned car swallowed by the freezing, dark waters of the lake he oftentimes loved, but sometimes hated. Underwater calls were true adrenaline rushers, the high risk he loved, the low yield he hated. With fire, he knew he had minutes, with water, every second that much more precious. Victims were usually not pulled out alive, proof in the statistics they faced at the end of each year.

"On my hip," he called to Mills before jumping in. Peter nodded his head anxious to prove himself.

The car was sinking quickly, two tons of metal holding two young people, a girl and a boy. Kelly could see their panicked faces upside down in the sealed car, air sustaining them for the moment.

The car drifted down settling into a mass of metal grating, scrap dumped into the lake, finding a final resting place off the busy highway.

Severide couldn't get to the window, the metal blocking his way like a cage keeping the vehicle trapped. The teens could see him as he tried to tell them to calm down by giving them an okay sign. He kicked back to the surface.

"Capp, we need the diamond!" he yelled, knowing the saw was the only way to free the enclosed car and save the kids inside.

Kelly headed back down, Mills anxiously waiting for the tool. Severide mapped out the fewest cuts he could make, save as many seconds as possible. He pulled at the grating, testing its strength, impossible to move without that diamond. The water seemed colder than usual, Kelly chalking it up to the first water rescue of the winter.

Capp kicked down and passed off the saw … Mills took everything in as Kelly sliced through the metal like it was cheese. They pulled the square piece away roughly, with Pete helping to push his lieutenant through the opening. Kelly didn't feel the intense cold when the little tear in his suit become a larger one as it got caught in the freshly cut grating. He was too hyped up, the rush of being so close to the victims - the teens he was getting out of there.

Severide motioned for the kids that he was breaking the glass. With one smooth move, he crashed his small tool into the window, water rushing in. He pulled the girl out first, propelling her to Mills waiting at the opening. They floated to the top, Peter kicking furiously to get her out of the freezing water.

Severide grabbed the boy who already extricated himself out of the car. The cold was gripping at the fireman now rendering his legs ineffective, paralyzed with frigid temps. He used his arms to torpedo the young man through the opening, the teen kicking to the surface. Mills met him halfway, grabbing him by the jacket and hauling him to the surface.

"Where's Severide?" asked Boden concern growing in the no show of his lieutenant. The customary burst to the surface was taking longer than normal.

"Go! Go!" commanded Boden to Mills still in the water. The teens were stripped of their clothes and covered with warming blankets.

"Cough it out," encouraged Brett, looking around for the emerging figure of Severide. Shay was up by Boden's side, all the guys on truck waiting. "C'mon Kelly," Casey muttered to himself.

"Capp, get back in there," instructed chief, not liking how the seconds turned into minutes with still no lieutenant.

Kelly was looking at the grating and the opening right in front of him. His fingers hung on, positioned in the holes of the metal but doing nothing to help him through that opening. Suspended there, floating, fighting that cold. Losing.

* * *

**Yes, leaving it there. Good news… I'll update soon. Hmmm, so Harrison involved or not? And poor, gorgeous, sweet, hero Kelly.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you to everyone enjoying this one and taking the time to drop me a review. They make my day – I love that you love Linseride as much as I do! If only the ChiFi writers did. Shout out to you no account peeps - EK, RIPShay, Aryal, ErinSeveride, Jackie, Natalie, Sossy, Shaylover, Rose, Joy, and Guests for your amazing comments. Thankful for you! To those with an account, you know I love y'all! Much love to 2NYwLove and Robigna88 for giving me feedback and love when those words are just not flowing. Enough chatter… hope you enjoy this one.**

* * *

Mills knew his lieutenant was in trouble, saw the little cloud of red coming from his leg, realized what that meant. Heart pounding out of his chest, Pete let his training kick in. He could reach through the square opening in the grating and touch his lieutenant, prying Severide's fingers off the metal. Felt like they were frozen on.

He pulled Kelly through, Capp joining him, both men bringing their leader to the surface. Tony grabbed Severide, depositing him onto the waiting gurney. Shay and Brett cut off his clothes, toweling him off gently, their hands trembling as much as his.

Kelly looked down at his toes and wondered how they could be shaking. He'd been cold before, really cold … he lived in Chicago, but this was somethin' else. This was a cold he didn't think he could warm up from. He quit shaking and figured that was good, not hearing the concerned tones of the two paramedics.

He watched as Shay threw another warming blanket on him. She was near his legs, fiddling around down there. She cursed him, or cursed his leg, telling it to quit moving already. He wanted to smile at her swearing, but too cold. The fireman felt the ambo pull away and needed two things right then – warmth and Erin. As he closed his eyes, he had the fleeting thought that one might lead to the other.

* * *

The Intelligence Unit was positioned around DePaul University, running background for their newest investigation, a small ring of drug dealers with ambition and smarts. Those were two things that could blossom the start up into a thriving business. Voight decided he would burn them to the ground before that happened.

Ruzek was trying to pass himself off as a graduate student to a group of co-eds in the University Center; they seemed to fall for his graduate work, PhD story giggling at the way he pronounced doctoral. Erin was nearby at some pool tables, flirting with a couple of jocks who had a taste for some pretty strong pain killers. Those dimples were doing the trick, opening those mouths wider, lips looser. Jay was, where? Somewhere on campus, no concern to her. The frigid temps Kelly faced were nothing compared to those Halstead waded through daily with his former partner.

Voight rushed into the UC, spotting Adam first, shaking his head wondering if the young one was garnering a date or intel. He scanned the game room finding Erin surrounded by young men, holding court.

"Lindsay. Take a walk with me," interrupted Voight leading his detective by the arm to the front doors. "He's okay…" Hank started.

"Where is he?" asked Erin, her fingers not cooperating as she tried to reach for her keys and Hank's hand at the same time.

"I'm driving," Voight said, taking her hand in his, the strength and warmth in it calming her instantly.

* * *

Holly Thelan stormed down from Peds the minute she got Shay's text. She took charge, ripping Kelly's chart out of the attending's hands before he muttered one word in protest.

"So you went for a dip in Lake Michigan?" asked the redhead, kissing Shay on the cheek, but talking to Severide.

Kelly shook his head yes; thankfully, the rest of his body had stopped shaking in the ambo.

"You'll feel better soon," comforted Holly moving to the side of his bed. "We pushed a warm IV, these warm compresses will do wonders too," she added adjusting one on his chest.

Holly pulled back the sheet, looking at his leg. She peeled back the thick white gauze, inspecting the stitches in his thigh. "Those look good," she commented to herself.

"You are going to be fine. This one," she smiled now, staring at Shay, "knows how to take care of her friends."

Leslie smiled not moving from Kelly's bedside. "You scared me," she whispered, eyes filling.

"I scared me," Severide admitted, closing his eyes, still wondering what the hell happened. The suit filled up so quick, had to be damaged before he even went in, he thought. Impossible with how often they checked their gear. "When you gonna spring me?" asked Kelly, eyes opening again.

"Not up to me. Your attending will probably want to keep you overnight. First thing tomorrow?"

"Any chance I can get out now? Before Erin gets here. Please tell me you said it was nothin." Kelly shifted his gaze to his best friend, willing her to give the answer he wanted.

"I couldn't reach her. I called Voight," Shay reluctantly admitted, knowing this was not what he wanted to hear.

"With the halligan thing, now this… Jesus, I think she's gonna kick me to the curb, Shay." Kelly closed his eyes again, wishing the whole day gone, the whole week gone.

* * *

Erin didn't stop to acknowledge Brett who was trying to reassure her that Kelly was fine. She vaguely heard a, "He was responsive," before she blew by and into his room.

"Oh, God," Erin broke, taking in the pale look of Kelly's face, his leg propped up on a pillow looking twice its normal size with the huge gauze cocooning it.

"I'm good. Tell her I'm good," he said to Holly. Erin worried made him worry. The only look he wanted to see on her face was a smile.

"He _is_ good," Dr. Thelan piped in. "Stats all normal. Few stitches, looks worse than it is."

Erin didn't answer her, going to the Shayless side of her husband.

"Hey, don't cry. Please. Can you guys give us a minute?" asked Kelly looking at the women surrounding him. The room emptied quickly.

"Hey, look at me," he said brushing his finger under Erin's chin. "Look, I'm good," he confirmed, doing a ridiculous little jazz hands motion.

"I know. Just with everything. I d- don't think I can take…" her voice trailed off into something so sad, Kelly would've called it a whimper if he thought Erin was capable of a sound like that.

"I'm getting out tonight. They don't even want me wasting space, taking the bed from someone who needs it." Friends in high places, don't let me down, he thought.

"You still feel cold," Erin said, running her hands over his face, feeling underneath the warm packs on his neck, his chest.

"Nah, I'm feelin' good," Kelly insisted, shuffling his legs a little.

"No, you're still cold," Erin repeated, pulling back the sheet, sliding in carefully on the side with his perfectly fine, but chilly limb.

"Maybe I am," agreed Kelly, smiling wholeheartedly now, feeling his wife's warm body press against his. This was just what he needed. The only thing he would ever need.

* * *

Erin was asleep when the attending came in. He wouldn't hear about a midnight release. "Asshole," muttered Kelly when he finally left after poking and prodding the fireman.

"Lieutenant," whispered Brett, peeking her head in the door, "just wanted to check on you before I took off." She walked to Kelly's side, the one free of Erin.

"You need to get the hell home," Kelly whispered not wanting to wake his girl for many reasons.

"Yes, I'm going now. Glad you're okay, lieutenant. Guess I'll see you back at 51," she said awkwardly, giving him an even more awkward rub on the shoulder.

"Yes, you will," Kelly replied, maybe catching a glimpse of what Shay was talking about for the first time. "Now get outta here, Brett."

"Goodnight, sir." Sylvie left his room forcing herself to move one leg in front of the other. She wanted nothing else but to pull up a chair and hunker down for the night. Or better yet, fill the current Erin Lindsay spot. I am officially crazy, she thought shaking her head, as she spotted the waiting Harrison.

"Thanks for picking me up," she said plopping into his Ford, giving him a quick peck on the cheek as he reached over to her.

"Not a problem. So what happened? Everyone okay?" Harrison tried to keep his tone even. The sad look on her face said that everyone was not okay.

"Yes, everyone's fine."

Harrison slumped his shoulders, remembering to pick them up quickly.

"Lieutenant Severide had a close call, underwater rescue, but he's good. Shay says he's indestructible. I'm beginning to see that," she smiled thinking of him getting out of the hospital tomorrow.

"Good to hear, Sylvie. But no one is, you know," Harrison mumbled, trying to keep a neutral smile on his face.

"No one's what?" Brett asked confused.

"Indestructible. No one's indestructible," he repeated, hoping he was right.

* * *

"Is it bad that this was the best sleep I've had in two weeks?" asked Erin stretching out, trying not to rattle the bed or her husband. She could see by the frown on his face the pain pills were wearing off.

"I liked not looking at your back for once," grumbled Kelly, thinking about how she flipped over on her side far away from him every night recently.

"Seems stupid now," Erin admitted. "I'm sorry, hero," she added, kissing him on the forehead to smooth out that scowl.

"I can't stay mad at you and it pisses me off," he replied, kissing her on her cheek. "At least not the way you can hold a damn grudge."

"I'm sorry about that too," she said kissing him back before rolling off the bed. She knew her issues were not fun to live with. "I'm a bear sometimes, I know," Erin admitted thinking about the cold shoulder she'd offered her husband the past week.

"Had another word in mind. Starts with B…" Kelly mumbled under his breath, trying to find a comfortable position for the leg.

"So do we need something for the pain, babe?" Erin asked, already moving out the door to the nurse's station, ignoring his little comment.

"You look better," she remarked, returning with a small cup of pills and fresh pitcher of water. Rubbing her hands over his arms, she noticed how toasty warm he felt, color back to normal.

"Just once I'd like for you to forgive me without me havin' to fall through a building or off a cliff or something," Kelly remarked, swallowing the pills greedily.

"Oh, so now you're falling off cliffs?" Erin's eyebrows raised, waiting to see what bull was coming her way.

"Maybe. Could happen."

"Seriously. I am sorry. You were right, Kel. No one was dead. It did work itself out." Erin admitted, that aching in her heart. The pull that said once again she had a hard time just being happy, accepting it. Believing she could have it all.

"Did you just say I was right? Casey! Clarke! You out there? I need this recorded because I think Erin just admitted…" Kelly yelled.

"Shut up!" she snapped, hitting him lightly on the arm.

He grabbed her hand before it could retreat pulling her in for a long kiss.

"Yes, you're better," she whispered, closing her eyes, thanking God above.

"Told you. See I'm right more than you give me credit for, practically all the time," Kelly suggested, pulling her in tighter.

"You are?" she asked breathlessly. "You are right about one more thing," she confessed so lightly it almost sounded like air.

"Hmmm?" Kelly closed his eyes letting those pills do their magic.

"We do need to get away. Did you cancel that beach trip already?" Erin yearned to go the minute she saw the pictures, but her need to punish Kelly got in the way. Always.

"You're kiddin' right?" asked Severide, eyes snapping open.

"If you did, it's okay," stumbled Erin. "I just thought that if it was still on the books, maybe…" She didn't want to fight, so done with the fighting. Hard to read that Kelly scowl this time.

"No, it's all good. I've been hopin' you'd change your mind. Can't believe you did," he looked a little shell shocked. "It's on." His face letting the hint of a smile creep in. "It is way the hell on," he said wanting to jump up and take his girl in his arms. He settled on pulling her on top of him, ignoring the pain in his leg with the motion… his only thoughts about the trip, about getting a week away from the Chicago winter blast, and about Erin strolling around in a bikini.

* * *

St. Bart's was the most expensive of the island getaways Shay researched. Kelly settled on it when he read the "doesn't she deserve the best" line on the Travel &amp; Leisure website. No amount of Shay discouraging, saying Mexico would be just as good and half as much, could change that stubborn Severide mind.

Now, Kelly knew he'd been right. The pristine white sands were as soft as Erin's skin and nearly as beautiful. The dimpled smile meeting his own crooked grin confirmed that this was exactly where they needed to be.

He was sprawled out on a chair that he hadn't even hauled out to the beach. Some guy, if you could call him that, brought it over for him, another one for Erin. The tanned, oiled young thing had on bottoms that Kelly was sure came from the women's section and were a whole lot smaller than what his wife had on.

Kelly choked down a laugh as beach boy bent over dramatically to situate an umbrella over the couple.

"How about you put these on," requested Erin flinging over a red Speedo with the word Italia on the back.

Kelly slung shot them back at her, shaking his hands out as if the touch actually burned. "Not on your life Lindsay will that thing touch my body."

"But it's such a fine body, husband. And I don't know what I might do if you were to put these on," she purred now kneeling at her husband's feet.

"Divorce my ass," muttered Kelly, watching the Speedo get closer to his legs as Erin slinked slowly, delicately up his body. She crawled on him moving up his calves, thighs, landing on his waist for a kiss on his stomach. She continued her Severide journey, chest now resting on his, face directly in front of his.

"Don't be such a grump," she said tempting him with the briefs resting on his chest.

"There ain't no way in hell, detective," affirmed Kelly, looking at the swimming gear with disgust.

"Ahh, it was worth a try. A hundred bucks from Shay if I got you to try 'em on," she laughed, her husky rasp growing louder. She stretched them on Kelly's head before getting up to run to the water. She looked behind once as he flung them to the side, pushing up to give chase.

"Slow down. I'm hurt," he called after her, catching up quick. He tackled her when she hit the water, picking her up by the waist and swinging her around before dumping her in deeper water.

She came up wiping her eyes, the stinging of the salt water making them red.

"Jesus, I'm sorry, babe," Kelly said, lifting her up.

Erin was laughing as she pushed him back hard, jumping on his back to bring him down. He was always surprised by her strength. He knew she had the emotional, but that physical power shocked him. Every time.

She brought him to the water, her husky laugh ringing out when he finally gave up. He knew he'd hit the damn jackpot. This girl was no "stop, you're messing up my hair" piece of work always touching up her makeup. He'd had plenty of those. Too many.

No, Erin was it for him. He was done for the second Vince Keeler showed his ugly face at 51 and Erin rose from the fog to protect him. Done for the minute she flashed her dimpled smile when he introduced himself. Done for from that first night at Molly's. Defying the odds, and all the firehouse bets, Kelly Severide was a done for, married man. A happy man.

* * *

Erin didn't go through her usual night time ritual, wash her face, brush her teeth, slip on an old comfy T-shirt, usually Kelly's. They started the night with a long, hot shower, washing away every remnant of beach on their bodies. She slipped into "something more comfortable," a piece of lingerie that Cailin had teased her endlessly about when she made the mistake of showing it to her a day before departure.

"How do you even get into that contraption," snorted her friend, holding it out at arm's length. "I know Kelly's good with gadgets, but I think this is gonna have that one confused."

"Give that back to me!" snapped Erin snatching it from the blonde's hands, ruing the moment she decided to show it to her. "He'll figure it out," she added, stuffing it into her suitcase.

"What do you need from me?" asked Cally, trying to get the vision of Erin stuffed into that "device" out of her brain. The tough as nails detective who grew up on the streets did not equate to the black lacy number with buckles and netting and snaps in all the wrong places.

"Will you grab the little bag on the countertop in the bathroom? I think that's the last of it." Erin went through a mental checklist of everything she needed.

"The pills?" Cailin inquired spying the blister pack of birth control with only a few pills missing.

"You know what, just leave it all. I'll throw the bathroom stuff in tomorrow," Erin answered nonchalantly.

"Are you takin' these?" asked Cally again, holding the small pack of pills, not sure why she was pressing. None of her damn business, she knew. Just a sixth sense… something.

"I'll worry about those," Erin answered, a flush coming over her face. That girl is good, she thought. Better damn detective than I am.

Now, Kelly was staring at his wife in the little black number that Erin decided to bring with her. He thought he'd died and gone to heaven. Variety truly is the spice of life, he mused, raising his eyebrows at the non-Erin looking lacy thing.

"Too much?" she asked, now embarrassed and regretting even packing the expensive lingerie.

Kelly picked her up with a low growl, throwing her on the bed and pouncing. He was like a caged animal who had just received a taste of freedom. Things had been glacial in the Severide house since the Harrison halligan fiasco. Erin put on the deep freeze, doling out his punishment like she was reprimanding a child. Then, the stitches in his leg acted like an anti-Erin force field, causing her to treat him as if he were a delicate piece of glass, ready to shatter into infinite tiny pieces if she came near.

That was all forgotten, brushed to the side now.

"This is what we needed, Kelly," Erin whispered softly as she let herself go for the first time in weeks. Her husband proving he was in fact "all good."

Another guttural sound came from Kelly as he pressed his lips down her neck hard. The words telling Erin how much he loved her were stuck somewhere between his brain and his tongue… the tongue currently tickling her stomach as it made its way back up to her neck again.

"I love you," Kelly managed to whisper in her ear. When he opened his mouth to speak again, Erin closed it with a kiss, long, hard and painful.

She opened her eyes slightly to look at his beautiful, muscled body… the one she always doubted was real. Only touching it would convince her it was. Hands running along his back, she could feel the slight tremble in his shoulders as his arms held his weight off of her.

Eyes closed, Kelly tensed as Erin's back arched and body shuddered, all control in the detective gone.

Her eyes now closed, Erin listened to the sounds of pleasure Kelly was making as his little reserve of energy was depleted. She wrapped her legs around him tightly feeling him tense up again and then relax. A smile was affixed on his now panting face causing a throaty laugh to erupt from the beautiful brunette.

He rolled over on his back still breathing heavily. Erin propped up on her elbows playfully, waiting for him to open his eyes.

"I like that little number," he said moving his head in the direction of the black lingerie a heap on the floor.

"Oh you like that kind of thing, dirty boy?" asked Erin moving on top of her husband's chest, kissing his neck.

Kelly nodded his head. "Glad you brought somethin' other than those red things you tried to get on me."

Erin was also glad she decided to throw the black lacy barely there item in her bag at the last minute despite the judgment from Cally. She thought about the things she didn't bring with her still sitting on her bathroom counter. She knew that was a good decision too. A scary, exciting, life changing decision. But, looking at her husband's face, she knew it was good one.

* * *

**So, what do you think? Good decision?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Feeling thankful today for many things … family, friends, and all of you, the amazing readers and writers of fanfiction. Thank you to all who review and leave such funny, sweet, and awesome comments. Much love!**

* * *

Erin and Kelly's inevitable return to reality was made more pronounced as the couple was slapped with a cold Chicago hand, stepping outside the airport. Luckily, the waiting warm truck of Matt Casey was offering curbside service.

"Glad you're home," he told Erin with a trademark Casey smile, as she slid into the passenger seat.

"Uh, that's okay, I got these," called Kelly from outside, scrambling into the back after throwing their luggage into the bed of the truck.

"I've been stuck in this crap while you've been sunbathing on some island," Matt defended, not able to prevent a small smile from forming.

"Sunbathing?" inquired Kelly at the strange choice of word.

"You have got to take Gabby, Matt. You have to." Erin went on to describe every detail of the beach, the clear water, the resort, and the luxury suite. Casey didn't think he'd ever heard her talk so much.

"Yeah, gotta agree with the wife on this one. I'm callin' it as your honeymoon spot. Dawson'll love it," Kelly agreed, shaking his head enthusiastically.

"We're gonna have to talk about that one," Casey said, looking pointedly at Kelly in the rear view mirror.

"Ah, hell," Kelly said, exchanging a look with Erin. The Casey Dawson romance had been anything but storybook, but Severide always figured they'd get hitched before he ever did. Figured they'd be poppin' out little ones before he was even dating anyone serious. Matt's head injury had put a strain on them, and instead of strengthening the couple it had pulled at it like a ball of yarn slowly coming unwound. Dawson's pursuit of becoming a firefighter had only set that ball loose leaving an unraveled mess.

Casey got out of his truck to help haul the luggage up to the apartment, avoiding the curious eyes of Severide.

Erin excused herself to call Voight and see what his flurry of calls was all about. She was pretty sure the team was making progress on their college drug connection.

"So what gives? What's up with you and Dawson?" asked Kelly once Erin was out of earshot. He plopped on the couch waving Matt to sit. He had the feeling this was gonna take a while.

"Now, she's saying we should delay gettin' married till she's done with her candidacy. She's under the gun over there. It's hell for her," Matt started, hesitating before saying more.

"There's always somethin.' Not that you're askin' for my advice, but you gotta just do it. There will never be a perfect time. I say let's get Shay to talk to Gabby and you two get hitched before the year is up." The smile on Kelly's face almost had Casey convinced.

"That's not all of it," Matt continued. "We've been arguing."

"You've seen me and Erin, right?" Kelly laughed.

"No, it's more than that. Really fighting. If it's not the job, it's where we're gonna live. If it's not that it's about having kids. She says she doesn't know if she wants kids, like ever."

"Welcome to my world, buddy," Kelly said slapping Casey's back.

"And you're okay with that?" asked Matt, giving an empty smile.

"Of course not. But ya gotta remember this is the woman who said she'd never get married 'n look at us now," reminded Kelly holding up his ring finger. "So am I holdin' out hope she'll change her mind. Hell yeah," he added honestly.

"And if she doesn't. You good with that?"

"Been tryin' to figure that one out…" He paused for a sec doing that thinking before speaking thing Shay was always pushing on him. "And yeah, I'll be okay with it. Is it what I want? No. But is life with Erin enough? Yeah. I'm happy. I'll keep bein' happy."

"You are happy, bud. Everyone at the house can see that," Casey said, pondering those Severide words and wondering when the hell his friend got so smart.

"So is Gabby enough for you? That's what this whole damn thing comes down to. Personally, I think she's more than enough sometimes," laughed Kelly, waiting for Matt to say he agreed, that he could be happy with his girl, that she was all he needed.

Casey just nodded his head, leaving Kelly with silence.

* * *

"Did I say thank you for the best week of my life?" asked Erin jumping on Kelly's back once Matt left.

"Hey!" Kelly called out, dumping her off on the couch. "And there's nothin' to thank me about. Best damn week of _my_ life," he agreed, leaning over Erin, kissing her on the neck.

"Enough Severide. We have a ton of laundry, need to unpack," said Erin pushing him away reluctantly.

"Hey, _you_ jumped _me_, Lindsay," protested Kelly, grabbing and poking at her sides.

"Stop! We have stuff to do."

"I know we do," Kelly agreed, grin spreading across his face. He snatched Erin roughly, throwing her over his shoulder in a classic fireman move. Both so glad they had one more day off because nothing productive was getting done on this day.

* * *

They were lying in bed staring at each other for a long, long while, Kelly brushing the sides of Erin's hair with his hand. She didn't want to break the spell that was keeping the real world at bay, but the butterflies in her stomach forced her to speak.

"Kelly, we need to talk," she began slowly.

Ah, hell, thought the fireman, just be happy, Erin. We're not on borrowed time. He raised his eyebrows, remaining silent as his gaze followed her.

Erin got up, leaving Kelly more confused. She was out of the bathroom and back in bed before he could ask what the heck was up.

Back on her side, Erin was staring at her husband again, now, a smile on her face. She pulled the blister pack from behind her putting it straight in Kelly's face.

Startled, he jerked his head back reflexively. "What are tho…" began the fireman not sure what he was lookin' at. They came into focus, and he knew what they were… those little pills she took every day to prevent a baby Severide from making an appearance.

Normally self-assured, Erin was at a loss for how to start the conversation. Her stomach in knots, she hesitated a second too long.

"What is it? Erin, talk to me," Kelly asked, still confused, worry spread across his face.

"I'm just going to spit it out."

"Well, spit it out," Kelly requested trying to be patient, realizing he would never read this girl's mind.

"I haven't been taking these," Erin finally said. "I should have talked to you first, but I didn't want it to be a thing, and I know it would've been a thing. If you're mad, I get it."

They were back to staring at each other again.

So many thoughts, spinning round and round. Kelly taking them all in… what this meant.

"Say something, husband," Erin implored, her smile now weak.

Kelly couldn't speak, a swelling in his heart catching in his throat, making words impossible. He draped an arm across his wife, both still lying side by side. He pulled her in bringing his head to her chest, burying his face. Words impossible, the wetness Erin felt was all the answer she needed to hear.

* * *

Kelly practically skipped into 51 with Shay meeting him at the door and leading him back to the lockers. She pat a spot on one of the benches indicating he should sit, plopping down directly across from Kelly.

"We had a great time at the beach?" asked Shay, smiling at the huge grin on her best friend's face.

"We did," Kelly answered handing over his phone. Shay scrolled from one pic to the next, stopping a little too long on the ones with Erin in a bikini.

"Nice," she said more than once.

"Best damn week of my life," Kelly said noticing the zooming going on with some of the pics.

"Looks like it."

"I _might_ have some news, but you gotta keep it quiet. No bullshit, Shay." Kelly was having a hard time keeping a lid on the baby making venture. He'd called Benny, Katie, Clarke, and Manny, who demanded a boy's night soon. But the one person he couldn't wait to tell… the blonde in front of him.

The look in his eyes warned her he was serious. He didn't need Casey's nose rubbed in this. Not right after the Matt confession about his relationship snags.

"I have news too," said Shay excitedly, not really heeding her friend.

"You first," Kelly replied, seeing there was no reigning this one in.

"Holly moved in!" Shay jumped up into the arms of her best friend.

"That's great!" Kelly let out a laugh, catching Leslie, swinging her around a little. "When you know, you know," he proclaimed.

"Damn straight," agreed Shay, loving her friend more than ever. No "that was quick" and "are you sure" from him, not like the conversation with her dad and sister.

She loved her crazy redhead and wanted the world to know. She finally felt like her love was given back full force probably for the first time in her life.

"I'm so happy, Kelly," Shay beamed.

"I can tell," Severide replied, his own enthusiasm reaching the blowing point. His news made that much better by hers.

"What's your news? You're moving to St. Bart's to work on boats?" Shay snorted. "Wait, that's not it, right?" she asked, frown replacing her smile.

"No, that's not it. We're stayin' here. We might be needin' a bigger place."

"You bought a new place? Awesome! Where?"

"No new place. We might _need_ a new place in the future. We might be expandin' the family," Kelly crossed his arms and closed his mouth waiting for the Shay reaction.

It could be heard out in the common room. Shay was up again, jumping, screaming, and finally crying.

So much for keeping it quiet.

* * *

Mills was in with Boden when they heard the squeals of Leslie Shay boom through the firehouse.

"What in God's name," asked Chief getting up slowly, those sleepless nights taking their toll on his battered, not so young body.

Shay was announcing that Kelly and Erin were practically pregnant, or trying to get pregnant.

"They're going to have little Severides!" she screamed to all the wide eyed firemen staring at her, and one wide eyed paramedic. "With the way they go at it, I'm saying two months, tops. Who's in? Twenty bucks." Money was flying as well as pats on Kelly's back.

When the commotion died down, Boden summoned his lieutenant back to his office with Mills following.

"Kelly Severide. A dad. I never thought I'd see the day…" Chief said smiling and shaking his head. He pulled a bottle of amber liquid from his bottom drawer, pouring three glasses.

"Oh, no, Chief, thanks, but…" Mills said, declining the glass.

"Loosen up, Pete, and drink up. We're celebrating something big here," Boden held up his glass waiting for two glasses to clink his. They downed the whiskey and all three sat down.

Kelly looked around sensing there was more to this little get together than his good news.

"I wish the news we had was as good as yours, Kelly," Boden said. "Mills has been going over the water rescue and he's discovered some pretty disturbing things."

Pete detailed the cut in Kelly's suit that looked like it was ripped later by the grating. He found four other similar small cuts, probably made by a small knife. The last of his allegations was the most troubling.

"This is just a gut feeling, but I think Brett's boyfriend has his hand in this. Somehow, someway."

A silence filled Chief's office, another round of drinks in order.

"Harrison? How? Why?" asked Kelly, not believin' it for a second. Not believin' the whole business.

"He was stalking Brett. You ruined his car. He's not blind. He can see her crushing on you hard. He's always in the house. And he was here the day of the rescue." Mills knew it was all circumstantial, but he also knew he was right.

"Pete, I appreciate the concern, but I think you got knocked on the head while I was gone," Kelly laughed, looking to Boden for agreement.

"I'm not ready to go to PD with this, but I am ready to implement a no visitors policy for a while until we can figure this thing out," Chief said not siding with Pete but also not discounting the accusations.

"Mills, thanks for lookin' into it. No disrespect, I just can't wrap my brain around this. Seems like somethin' out of a movie," Kelly said getting up, shaking the younger man's hand.

"You're probably right, but nonetheless, watch your back, Lieutenant."

* * *

One day folded into the next with weeks whirring by before anyone in the house blinked. Pete's accusations forgotten with the absence of Harrison in the house. Brett was growing tired of her former fiancé, his possessiveness once viewed as devotion now feeling more like a slow squeeze around the neck cutting off the ability to breathe.

"Lieutenant, got a minute," Brett asked Kelly in the kitchen.

"Sure, what's up?" inquired Kelly stuffing a roll in his mouth, reaching for another.

"Somewhere more private?"

"Yeah, let's head to the back," Kelly answered leading the way to his office, not yet registering the somber tone of the paramedic.

Once inside, her eyes filled with tears as she told the fireman about her relationship doubts, not knowing if she should stick it out or if she was really done with Harrison.

"How did you know the detective was the one?" Brett asked, taking a Kleenex Kelly was holding out.

"Honestly, Sylvie, I just knew the minute I met her. Also, to be perfectly honest," Kelly sighed, knowing a rush of tears would surely follow, "I think Shay'd be a helluva lot better at this than me." He was stunned she'd unload all this girl crap on him, not sure why him. The words of Shay and Erin echoing somewhere in that brain. Mills confirming it… "crushing on you hard."

He opened his door and sent the blonde on her way. He felt like a heel, but a heel that wouldn't be in trouble at home. That felt good for a change.

* * *

The DePaul University drug ring was still in business, gaining strength. The early success of the Intelligence Unit was stalling with the lack of a reliable CI. Erin was working on an athlete they'd found with a record who had his hand in a couple of minor illegal dealings, backroom betting and essay writing for a price. Lindsay was hoping the threat of those indiscretions would persuade the guy to join team Voight.

She was running late, Hank relentless in his texts asking about Caleb, the potential CI. Erin threw her phone to the side, pressing down on the gas. She cursed the car that seemed to be on its last legs. Lindsay was trying to do something about that.

She'd talked to the mechanic who specialized in "classics" several times. Erin meant to get it towed, but her work interrupted every time she had the thought of calling for one. Now, she was rushing to the shop, make a quick drop off, and then surprise Kelly with his fixed up man mobile. She smiled at the thought of his face seeing his old girl good as new, or at least running better.

Erin's smile quickly faded as she tried to brake, the red light in front of her growing closer. Nothing. Panic set in as she pushed harder and harder, laying on the horn hoping the intersection would clear. The detective swerved hard to the left avoiding a car headed straight for her door. She turned the wheel frantically to the left, but there was no avoiding the truck that plowed into the passenger side of Kelly's car bringing it to a violent stop.

* * *

Harrison answered the call from Sylvie almost the second it came in.

He listened sympathetically as she told him about Kelly's car being in an accident. Erin was driving, and Kelly'd taken off to the hospital.

"Wait, what?! His wife was driving?" asked Harrison, blood rushing to his face. This was not the plan, this was not what was supposed to happen.

He could feel Sylvie withdrawing from him a little more each day. His plan to woo her back was at a standstill. Desperate times called for desperate measures… The last "incident" hadn't finished the fireman, but it had pushed his girl far away from the lieutenant. He'd suspected that Severide was the reason Sylvie was retreating from him now. The asshole was probably giving her some false hope of a happily ever after. He also knew that it was only a matter of time before the guy got behind the wheel of his piece of crap car. Wasn't supposed to be the wife though. Great, he though bitterly. If she died, Sylvie would have smooth sailing with the fireman. Not what he had in mind.

* * *

Kelly rushed to the ER not understanding a thing Voight had said other than Erin was taken to the hospital. She was driving his car? Had a wreck in his car? Didn't make sense.

He flew to the nurse's station demanding to see his wife but being led to the waiting room full of cops.

"They said she's fine," graveled out Hank, worry etched in every line on his face. "They're runnin' a few tests."

"I want to see her," Kelly said, taking note that Jay was one of the cops waiting.

"We all want to see her. We gotta wait," Hank replied tersely, adding, "She was driving your car. Do you know why'd she be driving your car?" The way Voight said "car" implied the piece of shit it was. Implied this was somehow Kelly's fault.

A doctor entered putting a stop to the questioning.

"Ms. Lindsay is fine. We're getting her paperwork ready for release."

Voight thought he'd been relieved of about ten years when he got the call. Now, he was getting those years back. He smiled patting Kelly on the back, all the cops up, hugging each other.

"She's asking for her husband," the doctor continued.

Kelly followed him back to the bay where Erin had been checked out. He smiled watching her check her phone, furiously texting Caleb the wannabe CI. He gave her a delicate kiss on the forehead, bringing her in for a tight hug.

"Hey, husband. They shouldn't have even called you. I'm fine, not a scratch. Promise," she said, sending out one final text.

"What were you doin' in my car? I shoulda gotten rid of that thing when it first started actin' up," he said, remembering Shay and Erin telling him as much a couple months ago.

Another doctor interrupted, holding some papers in his hand.

"Yes!" exclaimed Erin, happy with her sooner rather than later release.

"Not here to let you out just yet," he said studying the papers in his hand. "We ran some routine tests when you were brought in and you may want to sit down for this." He looked directly at Kelly, gesturing to the nearby chair.

Severide drew closer to Erin, grasping her hand in his. "Don't do this to us, doc. What is it?"

"It looks like you're pregnant," the doctor said, eyes leveled at Erin now.

The detective was glad she was lying down.

* * *

Well, you knew I wouldn't make you wait too long. Those Severide sperm are able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, right?


	13. Chapter 13

**If you love Linseride like I love Linseride, go straight over to Burning Bright by 2NYwLove and read her chapter 39. It's all, you guessed it, Linseride. It is perfect because that's the only way she knows how to write. Enough fangirling.**

**Thank you to my friends/readers… your comments are funny, sweet, and such a welcome treat. To my 'no account' reviewers, get an account already! Just kidding… thank you to Sossy (Je suis heureux que tu l'aies aime), Guests (glad I brightened your day), Jackie, Natalie, ErinLindsSev, Shaylover, Joy, and ErinSeveride. Those reviews are priceless! Hope you enjoy this one.**

* * *

"Sergeant, you got a sec," asked Peter Mills shuffling after Voight as both made their way out of Lakeshore, confident Erin was fine and heading home.

Hank turned around, extending a hand to the young firefighter. "Sure," he rasped out. "What's up?"

"Can we go to your car or somewhere more private?"

Mills definitely piqued Voight's interest. "Yes, let's head to the car."

Once inside, Pete was losing a little of the conviction he had just two minutes prior. The curious eyes of the cop were putting some doubt in the fireman. What the hell, he thought, just unload it.

"I'm probably gonna sound like a crazy person, sir," Pete began nervously laughing a little. Voight was all seriousness.

"I think that someone's targeting Severide and this accident may be related," Mills definitely had the cop's attention now. He went on to detail all of it starting with the wet suit. Voight's eyebrows arched particularly high with the mention of the Brett crush.

When he was done, Mills waited for some reaction.

"Don't think you're crazy," Voight said, "but I'm not sure I'm all in."

"I'm not sure I'm all in either, sir."

"I tell ya what. I'm gonna look into this, but you do somethin' for me, Mills," Voight eyeballed the younger man.

"Yes, sir," Pete answered.

"Drop the sir crap." Voight's crackle of laughter could be heard as Mills made his way to his own car.

* * *

"Kelly, I can't have caffeine," reminded Erin gently, smiling at the cup of coffee her husband just poured. "Now, all that green tea you try to push on me is good. I'll take one of those," she added.

"I knew that," said Kelly throwing the coffee down the drain.

"You could've had it, babe," said Erin.

"Doesn't seem fair. If you can't, I can't," he said smiling, rubbing her flat stomach for the third or fourth time that morning. He decided he was goin' caffeine free, alcohol free, eatin' right for the whole pregnancy.

He'd talked to Boden about making it to every appointment, at least that was the goal. Realistically, he knew it probably wouldn't happen. There'd be some call that would be hell and he'd miss one or two or more. But the first one was a sure thing. Erin had her appointment with her doctor in three days, and Kelly made sure to be off.

"Remember, I'm gonna be late getting home every night this week, maybe some all-nighters," Erin repeated, having already told Kelly twice.

"You think that's a good idea?" asked Kelly not wanting her to go to work, her dangerous work. Not wanting her to leave the house for that matter.

"Yes, it's a good idea if I want to keep my job. I told you, I'm making headway with that CI. He's a little weasel, but I think he's officially my little weasel." Erin pushed her husband's hand away from her stomach and headed to her boots.

"Can't Cailin get a CI?"

"It's not a pet, Kel. I lucked into this one. He can't be adopted by someone else. He's mine," Erin shoved on one boot, looking at her dejected husband. "We agreed I'd keep working till I can't anymore, right?"

"Yeah," he replied, wishing he'd never agreed to such bullshit. "Maybe you shouldn't go in until your appointment. We make sure the baby's all good."

Erin smiled at the Kellyism "all good."

"I'm making sure the baby is all good. Everything is all good. Now, try to stay calm for nine months, and we'll remain all good," teased Erin lacing up her second boot.

"So when do you think you'll quit workin'?" pressed Kelly, ignoring her comment.

"I don't know. Guess I'll know when I know. It'll be months from now," Erin sighed, letting him know to drop it.

A grunt was his only response. He wasn't happy but decided to stuff it down. Stressing Erin out with arguing wasn't going to help any, he thought. Kelly forced a smile before kissing his wife goodbye, watching her make it all the way to her car.

At the precinct, Voight was equally concerned but better at hiding it and playing the supportive but not overprotective role. He'd already called an emergency meeting with IU, minus his favorite detective, telling them that nothing would happened to Erin during this "delicate time." Cally snorted with the use of the word delicate and Erin in the same sentence. That hadn't gone over well.

"Callahan, I'm gonna rely on you to an extent you haven't been used. You up for it?" Voight asked gruffly, knowing any female UC assignments were going straight to the blonde, do not pass Erin and do not collect $200.

"Of course," Cailin responded, a seriousness matching Voight's.

"We all have Lindsay's back. Got it?" he asked the team, eyes scanning each of his cops' faces. He stopped at Jay, who nodded in response. Voight knew that Halstead would do anything for Erin. Hanging on to him had been the right move.

"And not one damn word of this to Erin."

The only comment had been Olinsky muttering something about Papa Hank under his breath.

Now, Hank was looking at his young detective, the girl he saved from the streets when she was just fifteen. The dirty faced, hungry, drugged out girl that was his now his best cop. The girl that was having a baby. He cleared his throat in an effort to clear his head, a moistness in his eyes that did nothing but piss him off.

"About time you strolled in here, mama," Olinsky teased as Erin flung her purse on her desk.

"Are we ready to get some drugs out of college kids' hands or are we pickin' dish patterns?" asked Voight to the roomful of cops looking at Erin.

"I'm havin' a baby, Hank, not getting married. Did that already," Lindsay retorted, calling Cally over to talk CI's and how to handle the jittery Caleb.

"Slips my mind. Wasn't invited," Voight grumbled before heading to his office with Alvin, slamming the door.

* * *

The calls were non-stop, no time for baby thoughts or worry about a cop at work. Kelly was too busy with his own job.

"What the hell?" he muttered as squad rolled up to the collapsed building. When they heard the call out, they hadn't realized collapsed meant truly collapsed. There was a roof on the street and remnants of what makes a three story building in a pile underneath.

"Please tell me no one's in there," Severide said, hopping out to meet Boden at the curb. Casey already at Chief's side.

The screaming neighbors and cries from onlookers said people were in that heap.

"Let's get our hands dirty," Boden commanded. "Trucks are too risky. They could be anywhere."

Shovels, picks, and halligans were in gloved hands. Kelly didn't carry anything, wanting to see how far he'd get in pulling off pieces with Mills at his side. They worked in tandem, all the guys pairing up.

"You got a flag planted on this spot?" asked Jeff Clarke, his house rolling in to join the fun.

"Hey," Kelly said, "took your sweet time gettin' here." Severide was glad to see his buddy, hoping some more units would be called in soon. Time was ticking on the people below.

"You know it's slow, but every once in a while we gotta show our faces to clean up your mess." Clarke dug in, working in perfect sync with his former house. They heard cheers as a woman was pulled from deep within the tomb that was once a building.

Jeff saw the stress on his former lieutenant's face, knew it was brought on by more than a frantic rush to save lives. Severide barely cracked a smile when a woman was brought into the light of day by Cruz and Hermann. He just kept digging.

"You okay?" asked Clarke, stopping for a second, forcing his friend to stop.

"Yeah," answered Kelly. "I'm good."

Jeff knew the last time Severide had been at a collapsed building it had been a bombed out disaster, and the fireman was under it. Clarke couldn't imagine the waiting, the thinking you were done for… had to be weighing on his buddy now.

"What?" asked Kelly noticing the other lieutenant studying him, Mills staring at him now too. "You both gonna just sit on your hands?"

Clarke laughed grabbing a heavy wooden beam Severide was struggling with. There'd be no admitting anything on this run.

Jeff's smile was gone when the three men heard a whimper from directly below them.

"A baby?" breathed out Mills, puffing from the exertion.

"Don't know," answered Kelly, working faster, flinging stuff to the side.

"I don't think so," Jeff added, matching Severide's pace.

They had their answer in a couple of minutes, a black snout poking its way through two pieces of wood. A black lab mix was whining uncontrollably now, sensing freedom was just two hands away. Clarke reached in yanking the dog out, depositing it in Severide's arms before he could refuse. The dog began licking the fireman's neck furiously, bathing him in a sheen of dog saliva.

* * *

Voight demanded his team get busy on the DePaul drug problem, but he was ensconced in another matter altogether. He had his best forensic guy all over Kelly's car, scrutinizing every nut, bolt, wire, part of the old girl Severide admitted was dead and gone. The phone call telling him it was the brakes wasn't totally unexpected. The part about it being foul play, definitely tampered with brakes was unanticipated. Damn, if Mills might not be right, he thought wondering who this Harrison character was. He screamed at Olinsky to get his jacket; they were goin' on a field trip.

* * *

Two nights later, Kelly was in a hard sleep when Erin made it home for a reunion with her fireman. She thought she was getting in early, only eleven. But there was her husband in bed, the sound of his soft snores saying it'd been a rough shift. She watched him sleep, thinking about how she could read his sleep sounds and know just what kind of day he'd had. She thought about moms who said they knew what the cries of their babies meant, deciphering the "I'm hungry" from the "I'm wet." Maybe she would be okay at this whole mom thing.

She slipped in next to him, wrapping one arm across his chest. Kelly barely stirred at her touch. Erin let her eyes close, drifting off to the sounds of his breathing, thinking about the appointment waiting for them in the morning.

* * *

Voight and Alvin found enough evidence in Harrison's apartment to put the guy away for a long time. The place was a study in what not to do if you wanna get away with a crime. He even had pictures of Kelly on a bulletin board like a scene from some stalker movie.

"You've gotta be shittin' me," commented Voight, stopping to stare at one that included Erin. He resisted the urge to rip them all down.

"Hey, come take a look at this," Olinsky called from a night stand, pulling the drawer open wider.

All the tools of sabotage were deposited in the drawer, a one stop conviction paradise. There was a box cutter, several dirty wrenches, wire cutters, even a picture of Kelly in his car.

"We're not dealin' with a rocket scientist here," commented Alvin, closing the drawer. "You wanna call it in?"

"Not yet."

Olinsky gave the area a quick scan, everything was back in place.

"This asshole almost killed Severide, could've killed Erin," Voight mused as the cops got back in Hank's car. "Can't believe Mills was right. He picked the wrong profession, should've gone the PD route."

"We can put a little pressure on him. He'd be good on the team, especially if Halstead ends up not working out."

"We got bigger fish to fry tonight," Voight said driving off before Harrison returned. "You ready to heat that oil?" he asked his partner. Olinsky's serious face said he was.

* * *

"We ain't seein' the baby?" asked Kelly as the doctor was saying her goodbyes. Erin nudged him hard in the side. "Ow. What?"

"We'll do a dating sonogram on the next visit," Dr. Hirota explained.

"We're dating a what?"

"It's a sonogram to get a better idea of the due date," the doctor clarified, exchanging a look with Erin.

"When's the next appointment?" Kelly asked, ready to see the baby tomorrow, maybe day after.

"I'll have you come back at 10 weeks…" Hirota answered.

"And we'll do that dating thing?"

"Yes, we'll do that dating thing," laughed the doctor who'd known Erin for years, never figuring her for a married and pregnant kind of girl. They'd talked men but not in the context of settling down with one forever.

As the couple left the doctor's office, Kelly was on his phone, looking at the calendar calculating shifts to see if he needed to take another day.

"You treating me to lunch?" Erin suggested as one of Kelly's hands left his phone heading straight to her stomach.

"Still don't feel anything," he commented, not answering her.

"It's the size of a peanut, Kelly. You're not going to feel anything for a while," Erin tried to let him down gently.

They ate gyros at a nearby Greek place with Kelly insisting that he and Erin ditch their usual fries as a side instead settling on a salad. Erin would normally take exception to the whole dictating what she ate thing, but the way Severide "suggested" they have salad to accompany their sandwiches by patting her stomach and saying the baby wanted leafy green stuff was too cute.

His untethered enthusiasm was a comfort to the detective who had doubts daily about her ability to be a mother to a plant let alone a baby. The fact that he even used the words "leafy green stuff" cracked her up. He's gotta be reading some book, she thought. Reading some damn book before I was even pregnant. Yes, too cute, she thought letting herself be happy for once as she shoved a forkful of salad into her mouth.

* * *

At 51, Shay decided Kelly would announce his big news himself. The situation at the precinct had gone down very differently with Voight broadcasting it at his hastily called clandestine meeting. Now, Leslie was barely able to contain her excitement. She was going to be an aunt, the best aunt to Kelly's baby, and she wanted the world to know.

She headed straight back to the ambo avoiding eye contact with everyone just so her mouth wouldn't involuntarily blab the news. Kelly better hurry the hell up and get in, she thought. He'd wanted to wait to pronounce himself Daddy Severide _after_ the doctor's visit, something he'd read in that book Shay'd given him. It was a miracle no one at PD had blabbed, not even Antonio to Gabby. Leslie guessed the Voight threat held a weight no one at 51 could imagine.

"What's up? You need some help?" asked Brett, jumping into the back, shuffling through supplies.

"Nothing. Just wanna keep busy," Shay struggled, keeping her tone even, wiping down the side window for the third time.

"I did not sleep well," Sylvie commented, looking up at her partner as if to say "don't you want to know why?"

"Oh, really?" Shay managed, trying to focus on the blonde's words and banish all baby thoughts till Kelly got in.

"Yeah, Harrison hasn't called me in two days. He calls me about every two hours and now two whole days."

"I thought you were getting rid of him. This is good news, right?"

"I guess. It's just weird. It feels sort of wrong," admitted Sylvie feeling a sense of relief mixed with worry.

"Okay, Kelly's pregnant," Shay gushed unable to hold the secret for one second longer.

"What?"

"Kelly and Erin. They're pregnant!" yelled Leslie, hopping out of the ambo so she could jump up and down.

Brett just stared at her partner shrugging her shoulders wondering when the conversation moved from her to Severide baby making.

* * *

Shay didn't have to hold the news in at all. Unbeknownst to her, half the house already knew. Kelly called Casey first who told Gabby, then he phoned the Hermann's who'd been talking about a garage sale to get rid of baby stuff for months. Now, the long married couple was paying an impromptu visit to the soon-to-be parents.

Hermann and Cindy unloaded all the baby gear they could fit in their minivan and Casey's truck. Cindy was ecstatic that she'd never be using any of it again, so proud of her man for finally getting the snip, snip he gifted her with.

"I am so happy for you two," she enthused, grabbing Kelly's arm, hooking it through her own.

"Cindy, we can't thank you enough for all this. You're savin' us a bundle," said Kelly, adding a little wink for his favorite fellow firefighter's wife.

"Oh, it's nothing," replied Cindy, a slight flush covering her cheeks.

"Okay, you two," reprimanded Hermann, adding his own wink toward Erin.

"Now honey, don't get jealous," teased Cindy moving to her husband's side giving him a small kiss on the cheek. "You know we're just friends."

Casey'd been working on assembling a changing table in the spare bedroom, smiling at the way Kelly worked Cindy. Some things would never change, he thought, laughing softly.

"You need any help?" asked Kelly joining his friend.

"From you?" laughed Matt. "If Erin wants to come in and help, I'll take that."

"So everything okay with us? With the news?" Kelly blurted out. Shay's hyper excitement at the possibility of a pregnancy was wearin' on just about everyone's nerves. Had to be drivin' Casey crazy.

"I'm seriously so happy for you two," said Matt, getting up to take a beer Kelly brought in. "Honestly, so happy," Casey added taking several gulps.

"Just with our last talk, I don't know, felt kinda…"

"If you say wrong, I'm gonna get Erin in here to rip you a new one," laughed Matt. He was happy for his friend, tinged with a little jealousy of course. But happy? Yes.

"Quick question for you…" Casey asked. "Is Erin getting you firearm trained?"

"What?" Kelly thought they were talkin' about babies, not guns.

"Yeah." Casey took a long swig of beer. "If you have a girl that looks like Erin, you better get that shotgun ready, bud." Matt finished his beer, patting his friend on the back.

The happy look on Severide's face was replaced with a scowl. "I kinda hate you a little right now," muttered Kelly, entertaining the thought of a little Erin running around. He couldn't help but think of a string of little Serveride's running after her.

* * *

**So, Harrison is bad (no shocker) but what is Grandpa Hank going to do? Kelly all cute and sweet is my personal favorite – hope you enjoyed it.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews - they are fun to read and feel like little Christmas presents coming my way. Glad you're enjoying the Linseride love, BUT... a warning. You may want to skip the next couple of chapters if you don't like big drama/tragedy. Those that are sticking with me, keep the faith... you know things will work out and we'll have happy Linseride land again (eventually). So, no coal for me please. Oh, and Happy Birthday to stagediva23 who always leaves amazing reviews/feedback. Sending you a virtual margarita - you may need one after this. :) **

**Love y'all! Try to enjoy the ride. **

* * *

"Two more days," said Kelly with ever growing puppy dog enthusiasm as he crossed off a day on the calendar he put on the fridge.

"Yep," replied Erin slurping down some cereal.

"You sure I can't whip you up some eggs?" Kelly asked pulling a carton from the refrigerator.

"Can't. Running late," said Erin in between chews.

Kelly plopped a yogurt and spoon in front of her.

"I'll take it with me." Erin got up and waited for Kelly to kiss her and the baby goodbye. He came over hugging her from behind so tight, running both hands across her still flat stomach. His lips lingered over her neck, traveling up to her ear. He moved in front of her, kissing her full on the mouth.

"Say goodbye," Erin said lifting her shirt a little, small smile forming.

Kelly bent down in what was becoming a daily tradition and kissed her stomach, once, twice, three times. "Take care of your mom today," he whispered, giving one more kiss right on her belly button.

"Tell daddy, mommy's gonna be late. Gotta brush my teeth and get the hell out of here," Erin said, pulling down her T-shirt, rushing off to the bathroom.

"Tell mommy we don't say 'hell' anymore!" yelled Kelly, pulling out four eggs for himself. He grabbed some sausage to fry up first. At the last minute he snatched some cheddar too. This eating healthy was getting old, he thought, smiling as the sausage began to sizzle.

Erin was still in the bedroom in a back and forth texting spree with her CI by the time Kelly swallowed the last of the egg, cheese, and sausage Mt. Fuji he created.

"Thought you were late?" he asked, smirk forming, also knowing he'd probably shower and make it out before she laced up one boot.

"This case is gonna be the death of me. So damn frustrating," she murmured sitting on the bed, not looking up from her phone.

"We don't say damn anymore either," Kelly corrected, lopsided grin enjoying the scene as he stood in front of her.

"Really?" Erin looked up challenging him to do something about it, that grin causing a dimpled one to form on her face.

"Really. And, uh, I think you're gonna be really late."

"Really?" Erin asked again, waiting for the attack.

Kelly just crossed his arms, waiting for _her_ to do something.

She reached out yanking his arms hard. That damn strength always a surprise. He toppled on top of her.

"Hey, watch it!" he called looking down at her stomach.

"_She's_ fine," Erin replied, rolling on her side.

"_He_ doesn't like daddy falling on him." Kelly pushed his weight up on his arms, brushing on top of her lightly.

"I like daddy falling on me," teased Erin thinking she was going to be really, really, really late.

* * *

As Erin eased into her car, she felt a tightening in her stomach. It happened a couple times last night, but she chalked it up to the stress of the DePaul drug operation that was turning into a bear refusing to go down. It began having the markings of the Russian case, tons of leads, a bunch of actors, but not much happening. Erin knew it would all start to click eventually, but the build-up was frustrating.

The cramping she felt driving to the precinct opened her eyes that these were in fact cramps. Pulling out her phone as she parked, she cursed the shaking in her hands. This can be totally normal, she assured herself, referring back to a chapter in the What to Expect book she'd been perusing every night.

The office receptionist told Erin to take it easy… rest and relax. Call right away if any bleeding started. Nothing to worry about. Perfectly normal.

Erin headed up to the pit, trying to calm her nerves. "Perfectly normal," she said to herself taking one deep breath. She hurried in knowing everyone was waiting for her.

"Sorry, sorry, won't happen again," she said before Voight had a chance to comment. They all knew that was a lie.

"Nice of you to show up today. What's the CI update. Your guy ready to play?" asked Hank, instinctively detecting something was bothering his detective.

"Caleb's getting there. You know that squirrel from Ice Age?" she asked the roomful of cops. "That's Caleb."

Only Ruzek, Antonio and Cally nodded their heads laughing at her analogy. Cailin had watched all those movies with her nephews but wondered how the heck Erin knew about them. She smirked, picturing Kelly and the detective settling in for a romantic night of animated shenanigans. Just wipe that from your brain, Callahan, she told herself.

"He's running in fifteen different directions, ADHD off the charts, but, yeah… I think he's the key," Erin's hand went to her stomach as she felt another slight tightening. At the same time, she felt her phone buzzing. "Speak of the devil… Caleb. Just thinking about you," she purred, heading to Voight's office.

When she came back out, she definitely looked like she hit the jackpot.

"I'm meeting him in 30 minutes at the University Center. He's been asking his little dorm dealer about his supplier and the guy sang like a bird today."

"This'll just be an intel meet. We'll set up a sting and Caleb can get the ball rolling," Erin enthused. She'd been trying to get her CI to pursue a name, something, but he was more interested in whining about the sad state of his social life than in using his friends for information. When Voight threatened ten years for his illegal gambling operation, mostly high stakes poker in his dorm room, Caleb got motivated. Erin almost laughed out loud at the idle threat knowing he would get a slap on the wrist for the gambling. The high stakes included just a $100 buy in.

Now, little squirrel was coming through for her.

The meet was like pulling teeth… Erin felt more like a counselor than cop. She gave a couple of pointers in the lady department and Caleb gave up the little nuggets of information he gathered from Phil, the laid back surfer dude who always had whatever elixir they were wanting. Two bit college drug dealer sounded like the stereotypical college supplier, full of Zen wisdom, claiming no desire for the material things in life, but also more than willing to take money in return for drugs.

Phil offered an intro to his supplier, a Dr. Moerchen, when Caleb brought up big sis bar owner. He said sister was looking to move some product in her establishment.

"Booze and pills, booze and pills," laughed Caleb trying to think of something else to say.

"Yeah, the doc's lookin' to expand, so this may be just the thing, dude. I'll set up the meet. You can sell him on the idea. Then your sister will be in business."

"Cool," Caleb agreed, eyes darting nervously around the room.

Erin was finally seeing the return on her investment, her stint as life coach was paying off.

"So is he a doctor Phil met at a hospital? An ER?" asked Erin, having seen doctors and nurses thinking it would be easy money to set up a little side business. More often than not it ended with finished careers, the tight inventory systems set up at all local hospitals making a skim nearly impossible.

"Nah, think he said he took a Poly Sci class from the dude."

A professor on campus. Lindsay could see Voight's face. The prof would be lucky to make it to trial. A teacher preying on students. No, Hank would have a field day with this one.

Erin headed back to her car, her stomach now in one tight knot. She made it into PD stopping at the bathroom on the first floor. Spotting. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of the small drops of blood. Tears sprung to her eyes as she called her doctor. Come in. Now.

* * *

"So I'm guessing I'm not invited to the dating sonogram?" asked Shay, her nose in a book identical to the one she gave Kelly when he first mentioned the baby making venture. She was sitting at the dining table alone, the guys spread around the common room.

"I'll call you the second we get out. You good with that?" tried Kelly from the other side of the table, realizing she was far, far from okay with it.

"When's the sonogram?" Casey inquired, overhearing the pair.

"Two days. It's the one where we find out if we're havin' a boy or girl," Kelly's smile could be seen back in Connie's office.

"Oh, if it's a girl that's the hand of God in play," commented Mouch, sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Not you too," grumbled Kelly, the thought of havin' a girl playing more and more through his brain.

"Yes, the ghosts of girlfriend's past are comin' back to haunt you, Severide," continued Mouch, chuckling softly.

"So is it the hand of God or my exes that's in play? I'm confused," Kelly shrugged his shoulders, daring the older firefighter to just keep it up.

"Maybe both. A double whammy so to speak." Mouch got up to attack the oatmeal cookies Brett brought in for everyone not just her favorite lieutenant.

"Don't listen to them. If she has any Lindsay in her, she'll be just fine. I pity the hordes of guys chasing her tail in high school."

Shay's words were meant to comfort. No such luck. That scowl on Kelly's face screaming at her to shut up.

"So what're you hopin' for?" jumped in Casey, tight smile on his face. He couldn't help but flash to the latest argument with Dawson. This one about kids again.

"A boy." "A girl." Kelly and Shay said in unison.

Matt laughed at the pair in front of him. "Was talkin' to Severide, Leslie."

"How can you say boy?" she quizzed Kelly, hitting him on the arm, ignoring Casey altogether.

Matt just rubbed his head watching his friends argue incessantly. Yeah, those oatmeal cookies were calling his name.

* * *

Erin sat nervously in the waiting room, starting to call Kelly three times but clicking End each time. No sense in worrying him, she finally settled on. He was already on pins and needles every time she went to work. This would send him over the edge.

She would swing in for this quick visit, find out what was going on, tell Kelly later, after his shift.

Dr. Hirota first listened to the fetal heartbeat, satisfied with the strength of it, saying that was a good sign. She examined Erin, not seeing anything troubling. "I want to do an internal sonogram just to make sure."

"Everything looks good. I want you on complete bed rest for the next couple of days. We have you scheduled for the dating sonogram, don't we?"

"Yes, in two days," Erin said, thinking of that calendar on the fridge.

"Don't look so worried, Erin. Everything does look good. Spotting occurs in over 25% of pregnant women, so this is nothing that uncommon. Just follow these instructions for the next few days, and I'm betting you'll be off bed rest and back at work before you know it." The doctor scribbled all her mandates on a sheet of legal paper – drink plenty of fluids, relax, no stress, lay down as much as possible, not getting up except to use the restroom.

Erin stared at the instructions in disbelief. Total bed rest. Her phone was buzzing non-stop, Voight, Cailin, and Antonio texting. She knew she should call Kelly first, but that need to deny the sheet of paper in front of her won out. She settled on Cally.

Cailin said they needed her "like an hour ago." Caleb called Voight when Erin didn't pick up. He had a meet set up with the professor for _later today_.

He does nothing for weeks, and now he's just a ball of motivated energy setting up the supplier meeting for _now_?

Erin flung the yellow sheet in the passenger seat deciding it would be one quick bust then she'd head home and follow doctor's orders. The cramping subsided, the words of the doctor replaying in her mind… "nothing that uncommon." There wasn't going to be some shootout at DePaul. This was going to be a calm, easy take down. She'd coax Caleb into saying the right words, Dr. Moerchen would play his hand to expand the business, and IU would go in and do what they do best.

* * *

Caleb screwed up the meet almost before it began. He was jumpy, talking to himself… looking the exact opposite of what you wanted a CI to look like.

Dr. Moerchen, not a pro at this whole illegal side business, was as jumpy as the student.

Caleb didn't even get to explain why his sister was a no show before the professor spotted Ruzek talking into his earpiece. He noticed the way the student was staring straight at Adam. The doc broke out in a run, somehow thinking this made sense.

"Shit," announced Voight to the team, jogging after the older man. Regretting his decision to put Erin in the background, he knew it would've gone down differently if she'd been with Caleb. He didn't want her front and center on anything anymore, and they'd gone round and round before he put his foot down.

"Sister's a no show. That's how we're playin' it. You wanna argue more? I'll send you home," Voight had told his girl in no uncertain terms. Grandpa Hank was in overprotective mode, one that Lindsay realized she'd have to grow used to.

Erin bit her lip hard to keep her mouth shut. She knew Caleb would need her. Now the proof was in the botched bust.

Ruzek was in a full on sprint with Halstead joining him. The guys were all heading in Erin's direction. She'd been pushed back a distance not even in the first peripheral of players. When she saw the team coming, led by a drug dealing professor, instinct kicked in. She ran straight at the doctor in an effort to cut him off.

She hit the patch of ice without warning, her feet losing all traction and control. The slow motion crash to the ground seemed like something out of a movie. Erin's arms moved protectively to her stomach avoiding contact with the cement. Her hip took most of the impact, but her body didn't come to a stop. She slid further and further from the street heading toward a stairwell. She saw her hands reaching out to the railing to stop her slide and impending fall. Grasping desperately, Erin got a hold of the slippery metal slowing down her skid to the awaiting stairs.

* * *

The cold months meant more fires plain and simple… the guys at 51 both knew and dreaded that fact. The cold was a biting, penetrating, get in your bones kind of cold and people would resort to desperate measures in that struggle to keep warm. Desperate and oftentimes dumb measures.

The call came in like any other call…_** Truck 81 … Ambulance 61 … Squad 3… House fire… 2735 Browning Avenue…**_

It was a two story, brick structure, old but renovated, in a trendy reinvigorated part of the city. Smoke was currently taking the vigor out of the house with flames shooting from the first story, windows blown out.

"Truck, start in the basement. Squad, up top. Quick sweep, this old thing's comin' down," Boden told Casey who commandeered Cruz and Hermann to join him. As they were heading in, a man started screaming from the second story window.

"Mouch, get the ladder up there," yelled Kelly, hopping on truck to start the climb.

The guy was practically hanging out of the window now, screaming at the firemen to hurry up. Severide was climbing quickly, Capp right behind. The ladder and Kelly reached the window at about the same time.

"Hang on, let me get you…" Kelly reached out his hand to help the man to the ladder.

The homeowner pushed the fireman hard, knocking him off the ladder, in his leap to ensure his own safety. He shuffled down not giving a second thought to the dangling lieutenant frantically hanging on. Capp moved around the man, grabbing his collar to shove him down quicker. He shuffled up the ladder reaching his friend, stretching out his hand to grab Kelly's wrist. His fingertips brushed Severide's arm as it headed down in a free fall… one that Capp couldn't believe he was watching.

* * *

The team was on Erin in seconds, Voight knowing he just lost those ten years again. Erin was a heap at the bottom of the stairs who claimed their victim after all, her grip not enough to hang on.

Cally'd been the farthest away at DePaul Human Resources, digging for more on their drug dealing professor. She ran onto the scene, horrified as she looked down the stairs. Antonio was on the phone calling for an ambo while the rest of the guys and Cailin tried to squeeze into the small area at the bottom.

"I'm fine," said Erin rolling on her side, clutching her midsection.

Voight was by her side… "Do not move." He stroked her arm, motioning with his head for the guys to go up top and leave room for the paramedics.

"Hank," Erin cried, her voice breaking.

"It's okay, it's okay," assured Cailin brushing back Erin's hair. "Breathe, try to relax," she whispered, trying to keep the panic in her heart from surfacing in her voice. It was an excruciating wait for help as both cops didn't want to move the detective a fraction of an inch. Cally exchanged a look with Voight as the medics stormed down the stairs barking instructions for everyone to clear out.

* * *

Kelly didn't panic when he dropped, knew the two story fall wouldn't be deadly. He was more shocked than anything. He'd held on a hell of a lot longer many, many calls in the past. One time he thought Vargas had made a sandwich on the way to a balcony he was hanging onto.

This time he'd blame the sausage, extra weight. Definitely not the wear and tear of years on this job. No, had to be the huge breakfast he thought on the way down.

Minimize the risk of injury he told himself as he relaxed his legs letting them curl under him, tucking into a roll. His shoulder took the momentum like a whip, ending with the snap of his neck and helmet on the pavement.

Shay and Brett were on him immediately watching in disbelief as he eased himself up to standing.

"Kelly, sit, let me check you out," Shay demanded, eyes wide, grabbing his arm to pull him down. He resisted, remaining on his feet.

"I'm good," he said working his shoulder, rotating it round and round.

"Severide!" boomed Boden running to his lieutenant. "Let the ladies check you out."

Kelly followed as they led him to the ambo, hopping up by himself to punctuate his point. All good.

Shay felt around his legs, ankles, knees… "I can't believe you didn't even twist an ankle," she muttered, letting a relieved grin start to form on her lips.

Brett took off his turnout coat, going for the shirt next. "Uh, I got it," said Kelly slipping it over his head. "Aaah," he grunted when she pushed hard on his shoulder and neck.

"You definitely tweaked it," said Brett, focused on her task. She rotated his shoulder round and round. "It's not dislocated."

"You sure? He's done that before," commented Shay doubtfully, the grin gone.

"Was the other one," Kelly corrected, smiling as he reached for his shirt.

Brett moved his head one way, then the other. "One more thing," she said, shining a light in his eyes, having him track it from side to side.

"Damn, if you're not alright, lieutenant," announced Sylvie, smile matching her partner's.

The men were watching all this from outside the ambo.

"So do you leap tall buildings in a single bound too?" joked Mills.

"Just fall from 'em," Severide replied jumping out of the back, throwing his shirt back on.

"He's indestructible, gentleman," called Shay also jumping out, rubbing her hand around her best friend's back.

"Glad you're okay…" started Hermann, then pausing, "but I've seen girl's at Lee Henry's playground hang off the monkey bars for longer, just sayin," he added chuckling.

Kelly's eyes narrowed, as Mouch piped in… "Gettin' old my friend. I remember when you first joined 51, fastest damn candidate I've ever seen."

"Don't be signin' my retirement papers just yet," said Kelly, slapping the older man on the back. He jogged over to squad's truck, moving his shoulder again, not liking the pain radiating up to his neck. He forced that little snap he felt when he hit the pavement from his mind, forced the vague thought that maybe the pain was radiating _from_ his neck.

* * *

Kelly was back at 51, grabbing a quick shower, the heat loosening up his sore muscles. Everything felt back to normal. The relief he felt was short lived, extinguished by a few words from chief.

"Severide," he called from outside the shower bay, "CPD just called. They need you at Lakeshore."

Still half wet, T-shirt not pulled all the way down, Kelly looked for his keys for a couple of seconds before realizing he didn't have any. His car had been sent to a junkyard grave after the CSI team was done with it. Shay was by his side.

"C'mon. I'm driving you."

Leslie affirmed that they knew nothing. Nothing at all.

"I just have feeling everything is fine. Erin's fine. Your baby's fine. She's gotta take after you and Erin and be doubly indestructible, right?" she was talking, filling the dead air, the worried spaces of silence sucking the oxygen out of the car.

"Can you just be quiet, Shay?" pleaded Kelly, a dozen scenarios playing through his mind. Voight had said she fell down some stairs, but Severide knew it was bad in the tone of Hank's voice. The gravel was so rough… "She's okay. Don't know anything about the baby yet," the cop answered before being asked.

Kelly had a feeling too. A feeling deep in his gut, and it was the exact opposite of Shay's. Everything was _not_ fine.

* * *

**No coal, remember? Seriously, have a happy, food, family, and love filled holiday season if you celebrate that sort of thing! **


	15. Chapter 15 - author's note

Hope everyone is having an amazing holiday season! Sorry, not an update, but because I love y'all, I'm doing a Christmas challenge thingy with 2NYwLove. You get her epic, super cute couple Cally &amp; Clarke and a whole bunch of Linseride love (along with many hints of what I have planned for the future in All I Need Is).

So please go check out our **A Very Chicago Fire Christmas** posted by my talented friend 2NYwLove and co-written by me. Let us know what you think about all our fluffy, dribble, Christmas drabbles. Have a great one!


	16. Chapter 16

**Happy New Year y'all and thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and follows. They mean so much, and you know I love reading your thoughts about this story. We are going dark but keep the faith, my friends. You know I like my tragic parts with happy Linseride love at the end. The strongest love comes through struggle…**

* * *

Kelly rushed past the crowd of cops and into Erin's room. Her back was to the door, shoulders shaking. He ran around to the other side, draping his body on her wanting to swallow her and her pain into his.

"Sshhhh, ssshhh, it'll be okay. You're okay," Kelly whispered, knowing from the look in her red rimmed eyes what had happened. Their baby.

"Our baby's gone," Erin cried out, grabbing desperately at Kelly's back almost clawing it.

"Don't say it," Kelly said, pushing the tears he felt coming away. That was the last damn thing she needed to see, he thought as he brushed her hair out of her face.

Intelligence was in the waiting room, no one knowing what to say or do. Antonio couldn't imagine … he was texting Gabby who was currently arguing with her lieutenant to get off shift. Shay sat next to Cailin, both women crying, thinking about different people. Shay knew Kelly would be wrecked, completely wrecked. She also knew he would hold it together for the girl he loved. They would get through this, she thought through a sniffle. They had to.

Cally cursed her nonstop tears, making it next to impossible to text Jeff to get over there. She would never forget Erin's face as they slid the stretcher up the stairs… the hurt, the panic, and most of all, the _knowing_. The sounds her friend made in the ambo would not be erased from her memory either. And that powerless feeling would never be forgotten. The few times in her life when she was rendered helpless had not resulted in anything good. Always the opposite.

"You're okay. The baby's okay," Cailin had said over and over, whispering it in Erin's ear as she stroked back her sweat soaked hair. All lies, she thought now as she squeezed Shay's hand tighter.

* * *

Erin was discharged the next day. How could something be so traumatic and take the life of my baby, but leave me relatively untouched, she thought bitterly, rubbing her hand over her stomach as she changed into jeans.

Kelly's touch startled her and brought more tears to her eyes. He was being typical Kelly, comforting her, telling her he loved her, they would get over this. "We're gonna be okay," he said again, kissing her from behind.

She had to tell him when they got home, reveal the doctor visit and the page of instructions. Tell him that it was her fault. All her fault.

As they walked into their apartment, Erin's eyes went straight to the bag sitting atop the dining room table. She'd been drawn to the baby boutique by the name, Giggles. Inside the small shop, she found herself laughing at the onesies with funny sayings printed on them. There was a whole section with cop and firefighter slogans. She was pretty sure _Erin Lindsay_ translated to 'opposite of T-shirt slogans' in some language, but that day so drawn to the teeny tiny outfits in front of her.

Her eyes welled up further thinking about the six little onesies the bag concealed, four with firefighter slogans, two for Papa Hank. She was going to surprise Kelly at the dating sonogram, knowing he'd love them all. Her favorite was "My daddy's a firefighter. What superpower does your daddy have?" It was perfect. Everything was perfect. That should have been her first clue that something was going to happen, she thought.

"Let me get you in bed," Kelly said taking her heavy coat, grabbing her hand.

Erin didn't protest. She was tired, drained of everything, all emotion, all hope, all life. She prayed she could sleep and get the thought of their baby out of her brain. She knew she wouldn't. Kelly turned on the kettle and Erin couldn't help but smile a little, knowing a cup of tea was coming. Her smile brought tears and those Severide tears Kelly had forced deep down finally came. He held her, burying his face in her hair, afraid to let go. Why? Just some stupid, bad luck, he thought.

Erin looked into Kelly's eyes as he brushed the hair away from her face, cupping her cheeks in his hands. She couldn't say anything tonight. It would have to wait until tomorrow.

* * *

"What is this?" Kelly asked holding the yellow legal sheet in a shaking hand. "Tell me this is not what I think it is." He'd headed to Erin's car about 2:00 a.m. looking for his phone, knowing Shay would be waiting for an update. He found it along with the doctor's note.

Erin gave up on trying for any sleep and was heading to the kitchen when hit with what seemed an interrogation. She felt like she'd been ambushed.

"Kelly, sit," she said wearily, wishing she'd told him everything yesterday when they first got home. "I had a little cramping," she admitted, tears coming back. She'd been so certain she had no more tears to give, that she would never cry again. Yet, here they were.

_Not your fault_. Erin needed to hear those words.

"Why didn't you call me?" Kelly asked, reaching for her hand, afraid of where this was going.

"I didn't want to worry you. I know I should have," Erin admitted. "I saw Dr. Hirota and she said it was normal. She gave me those," she said pointing at the sheet, now crumpled in Kelly's hand. Say it, she willed. _Not your fault_.

"When?" Doubt about his girl creeping in. Had this been days ago? A week?

"Yesterday, Kelly. Just yesterday. I was heading home when the team called. I went to DePaul for a quick minute. I was heading home," she repeated as Kelly dropped her hand.

_Not my fault_. That was all Erin needed, to hear those words.

Kelly was up, clutching that damn piece of paper. He threw it in the trash, mumbled "okay," and stormed off to their bedroom, slamming the door. He hit the shower wanting to hit something literally, anything, longing for a locker at 51 to sink his fist into.

No sleep, shoulder on fire, and all hopes of any rest gone, Kelly's head was spinning. It was too much to take in. She'd been put on bed rest, told to go lay down, and what? She went to DePaul University for her freaking job?

As he toweled off, Erin sat on the bed waiting for him. He inhaled harshly… "I can't right now. Not now, give me some time…" he started.

"Kelly, I need you to say it'll be alright. I need you to say you forgive me, that it's not my fault," Erin's voice cracked as a sob threatened to break free.

Severide's eyes narrowed slightly and there was a long pause before he finally said all the things she wanted to hear. The words running together, no real meaning in them. The fog in his brain getting denser with each additional word.

The only thing Erin heard was the almost imperceptible narrowing of those piercing blue eyes. Those eyes spoke to her and said he would never get over this. Over the fault landing squarely on her shoulders.

* * *

Days strung together and two weeks hazed by without Kelly or Erin blinking.

Erin desperately wanted to hear him say it was an accident, _not her fault. Not her fault. Not her fault_. She needed those words. The only words echoing in her brain saying the opposite. Over and over. And Kelly doing nothing to stop the mantra of blame.

They were two ghosts occupying the same space, muttering a few niceties but not really saying anything.

Shay was at Kelly's side at 51… wanting to talk or give him a squeeze. Normally the fireman would push her off not believing a public display of affection lieutenant was what the guys needed or wanted. But lately, he took it, took every hug. He hadn't touched Erin in well over a week. Knew there was something so wrong in that equation but every time he thought about leaning in for a kiss or a simple hand hold, something held him back.

Erin had pushed everyone away at the precinct insisting she was fine, everything was fine. Just fine. Cailin wasn't buying it, seeing the hurt in her friend's eyes in all the stolen seconds she thought she wasn't being looked at. Those silent moments showed her a pain that drove straight through Erin's heart. Talking about feelings was not in either girl's comfort zone, but Cally knew clamming up wasn't going to take that look away. Being with Jeff had taught her that much.

"Girl time tonight. My house. We'll do each other's nails, drink wine, or something stronger," tempted Cailin.

"Nails?" questioned Erin lifting an eyebrow, glancing down at her short nubs that hadn't seen a manicure in years. She knew what her friend was doing. She wanted to say thanks but no thanks, but instead asked, "What time?"

That was too easy, thought the blonde. "Why don't we drop off your car at 51? Then I'll drive us to my place."

"No. Shay's been taking him everywhere. He stays at her place half the time." That last part speaking volumes to Cailin. "I'll pick up a few things and head straight over?"

"Sounds great," answered Cally regretting her choice of words. There was nothing _great_ in any of this. She knew one thing. She needed to get Jeff to contact Kelly, like yesterday. Her guy would need to steer the Severide train back in the station, remind him he loved his wife, remind him that everything _would_ be okay. She thought about the two lieutenants sitting on a couch watching football and drinking beers… in silence. She might have to enlist Casey's help, put him on a job. He was always so much better when he had a task and could get out of that Matt Casey head space for a while. It would be a good excuse to talk to him too, things not really back to normal between the childhood friends.

* * *

Erin unloaded. That night she truly found the meaning of the word friend, and what was behind those mystic slumber parties she'd heard about as a child. A little of that Irish whiskey Cailin was so fond of did the trick. It loosened the lips and had Cally feeling like part time therapist by the end of the night.

"He is trying to hurt me because he blames me. Plain and simple. He wants me to hurt, like I don't already hurt enough," intoned Erin as she drained another glass.

"He doesn't know what to do with his grief, Erin. Doesn't know how to talk to you about all this. Severide's not the most vocal of human beings. I'm speaking from one who has the strong, silent type at home," snorted Cally.

"I wish that was it, but I know it's more. He won't even touch me… nothing. He is never getting over this," Erin opened up, to a point she promised herself she wouldn't on the ride over.

Cailin did the best thing she could. She listened.

Getting the words out was what Erin needed.

That night, Erin finally slept. Her blonde friend next to her, breath heavy with alcohol, rhythmic breathing almost rocking her to sleep. Erin dreamt of the beach, the soft comfort of the sand, the spray of water touching her sun-kissed cheeks. It was the familiar beach they visited what seemed like a lifetime ago.

She watched as Kelly broke the waves laughing going deeper, jumping higher. Something is in his hands. It's a young boy, laughing, those same blue eyes squeezing shut. That same smile across his face. The boy is waving at Erin as she watches on shore. He's waving, little hand a blur of back and forth, as father and son go deeper and deeper.

The heart had a way of cocooning around a hurt so great. It would either suffocate or heal. Erin had a choice, go under or come out of it. She awoke knowing she couldn't stay fractured and broken forever. She knew she had to forgive herself even if Kelly never got there. She knew she had to let go. To let go of it all.

* * *

Cally encouraged Erin to talk to Kelly, not let one more night go by.

"He'll come around. He loves you," Cailin assured her friend, thinking about what Jeff had said a few nights ago, the topic of the Severides filling their dinner time conversation. Both concerned about their friends.

"He needs time to be pissed," Jeff rationalized.

"He's had time. He needs to tell her he loves her and that they'll be okay. He hasn't even been sleeping at home," Cally imparted.

"Don't need to hear all that, babe. And there's not a timetable for grief. We both know that. He'll come around."

"He better," she said. "Or I'll have to kick his ass," she added.

Now, watching Erin pull away from her house, she hoped they would settle it tonight. Argue, fight, scream, cry, whatever needed to go down, she hoped it would happen. Then they could begin the road to recovery, back to each other.

* * *

When Kelly dragged in after shift, he'd already been text arguing with his wife. He wanted to crash at Shay's, said they'd talk tomorrow. It was killing him to be apart from Erin, but killing him to be with her. Kelly had never felt so dead inside.

Erin was not taking _crashing at Shay's_ as an option. She made dinner, she needed him home.

He wasn't hungry, moving around his food more than eating any of it. Erin tried to get him to open up only to be shut down every time.

"Kelly, talk to me. Tell me you're mad at me, you blame me, hell, you hate me. Something," she tried, her voice in that area just shy of yelling.

"Got nothin' to say. There's no way we can go back. It makes no difference now, doesn't change a damn thing," he answered refusing to engage.

Kelly got up, dumped his food into the trash and headed to the shower, demonstrating that Jeff Clarke was right. No timetable on that grief.

* * *

The next day Severide felt better, the muscle relaxants Shay gave him doing the trick. He knew he'd been an ass last night, really for the past two weeks. Instead of reaching for the brunette he loved, he pushed her away, ignoring her in favor of obsessing over that legal sheet of instructions. Thinking of all the what ifs. The nagging pain in his neck playing its own role in the great divide between the couple.

Time to talk to her, he told himself rolling out of his empty bed. If he even knew how to do that anymore.

He wandered through the kitchen, the silence indicating an empty condo.

_Went to work. _

That was all the note said. But it was enough.

Erin was still tying up loose ends with the DePaul drug case … it was all but over with a drug dealing professor shut down. He was cutting any and every deal he could to avoid some inevitable jail time. Giving up all the names he'd heard with his new startup, most insignificant low level players. But the IU team had to look into every one.

The team was off but Erin headed in figuring she'd cross a few more of those names off the list. Ruzek was in too, apparently having relationship problems of his own.

"I would really like a little silence today, Adam. You think you can handle that?" asked Erin as they piled into his car.

That was the young cop's signal to start talking.

Erin and Ruzek pulled into their last stop for the day. It was a tiny shack of a house that did not say high level drug lord.

"Jesus. Ten bucks says crack whore givin' a tuggy for a hit," Adam said reluctantly getting out of the car, knowing this was a dead end.

"You do know I'm not Halstead or Olinsky, right?" asked Erin shaking her head, joining him on the cracked walkway overgrown with weeds.

"Uh, sorry, forget you're a girl sometimes," Ruzek admitted. "Uh, in a good way. Like you do your job so well…" he stammered.

"So well that I couldn't be a woman?" questioned Erin, stopping before they reached the door.

"I'll just shut up now," Adam said smiling, holding the torn screen door for Erin.

She laughed hoarsely, appreciating her partner for the day. His non-stop illuminations on life had been a distraction she needed after the talk that didn't happen with her husband, him freezing her out again. She'd gone to bed mad and woken up furious.

Wallowing in sadness shifting to an anger, a building resentment directed at a husband who'd been so angry with her.

Erin rapped on the wooden door with the peeling paint.

"Looks like no one's here. Let's bounce," Adam said turning back to the car.

"Slow your roll," Erin laughed again. "I hear something inside."

The sound of a TV blaring distinctly rang out.

"Aahhh, Lindsay," he groaned wanting to ditch this place.

Erin knocked louder telling herself she would not be breaking down that door. Adam would have to prove his worth.

Right before his foot met the wood, the door creaked open a crack with a big, brown eye peering out.

"Hey, honey," Erin said kneeling down, meeting that eye on its level. "Is your mommy home?"

"No," came a little voice, hard to tell if it was boy or girl.

Lindsay pulled out her badge, holding it up to the crack. "Will you let us in, sweetie, and we'll wait for her to come back? The door creaked all the way open and Erin was unprepared for what smacked her in the face. The filth, the smells… it was a scene the two cops would not soon forget.

* * *

Erin dragged in as late as Kelly from a shift. Her couple of hours turned into an all day excursion in paperwork and frustration.

The big, brown eyes had been attached to a little boy living in conditions not suitable for the cockroaches scurrying about the place. Erin thought Ruzek was going to toss the four kolaches he downed for breakfast when he tried to pour the kid a bowl of cereal and three brown, unidentifiable bugs came crawling out with the Lucky Charms. He made a quick run for burgers and fries, sitting on the disgusting couch to pig out with the little one who was obviously starved for more than food. The boys laughed at the same time with Adam questioning him gently during each commercial. His name was Javier, he was seven and couldn't say when his mom had last been home or when she was coming back. A neighbor, "Miss Sadie", brought dinner for him every night.

Child Protective Services said they'd schedule a home visit, but that wasn't going to be good enough for either cop. Lindsay used the Hank Voight card to get results… his fingertips in almost every branch of the system. This was abandonment, plain and simple. It took all day and into the night to get Javier into the system, but eventually he was shuttled off to spend the night with a foster couple.

"That sucked," said Adam as they made their way back up to IU. "Some people should not have kids. They don't take care of 'em, don't love 'em, but they keep poppin' 'em out." He snapped his mouth shut as soon as the words left. "Uh, sorry Lindsay," he muttered, head down, the baby she just lost flooding back into his mind.

"No, I somewhat agree with you. Although I wouldn't be here, now would I?" she slugged him in the arm. "You did good today," she added, dimpled grin on her face.

"I did?" he asked, puppy dog look in his eyes.

"You did," she confirmed, patting him on the head.

Now, walking into her condo, the silence, the cleanliness, the yummy smell of something in the oven contrasted sharply with the dump they were in for half a day, the dump that little boy lived in every day.

_Went to bed. Dinner in the oven._

The note to match her note. Tit for tat.

She pulled out the warm plate of roasted chicken and potatoes and sat at the dining room table eating alone. Kelly was in the bedroom … her husband fast asleep in just the next room over, but she was alone, all alone.

* * *

Another week in the couple's lives marked off, another wasted seven days of not talking. Kelly had opened the door to communicating but Erin had been knocking for too long.

He came in from a run cursing himself at thinking it would somehow loosen up the neck. He grabbed some water watching his wife work at the dining room table. She was looking at some files, hair in a ponytail, the sweatshirt and running pants she donned giving her the appearance of a kid. He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, with Erin pulling away as if he'd just slapped her. The hurt of the past few weeks hanging over the apartment heavily. There would be no kiss in return, no hug, nothing.

He had punished her long enough. So now, she's punishing me, he thought.

Erin was mad as hell. Mad at herself, mad at what happened, even mad at God. But none if it touched how mad at Kelly she was.

She heard his groans throughout the night, but didn't reach over to him, offer an ice pack. She grabbed her pillow and moved to the couch around 2:00. Kelly woke up knowing he was about as close to invisible as he could get.

Severide's neck was killing him, the pain screaming at him to do something, scream, cry, go to Chicago Med, call Shay. Do something. He was living in the _land of denial_, telling himself the minute he couldn't do his job, he would get it checked out. Shay knew something was up with her best friend but she was living in the _land of love_. Holly was almost a permanent fixture at her house and the more Leslie discovered about the redhead, the more she loved. For the first time in her life at 51, Kelly wasn't the blonde's first priority. It felt strange, foreign, but also somehow right. Leslie Shay figured she was finally growing up.

Erin barely glanced up as Kelly heaved himself into the apartment after another shift. He threw his bag on the floor, grunting at the release of the weight. Erin didn't look up again.

"Rough shift," Kelly said making his way slowly to Erin, sitting on the floor, papers spread all over the living room this time..

"Me too," she said tersely. "Oh and we have a guest tonight. He's in the spare bedroom."

Kelly's quizzical look was met with silence. He figured it was a drunken Ruzek, maybe Antonio who wasn't handling the single life very well. Join the club, he thought, peeking into the darkened bedroom. The side lamp was on low, illuminating the face of a little boy. Black hair, olive skin, the boy was on top of the covers in a deep sleep holding the second pillow like a teddy bear.

"Erin, what the hell's a kid doing in our house?" asked Kelly going back out to the living room.

Erin sighed barely tolerating the question. She wanted to talk for over a month, and this was it? She rattled off the first encounter with Javier, how he'd been put in foster care.

"Ruzek and I did a drive by on the house we found him at and he was back. Do you believe that? They put him back there?" she asked shaking her head.

"They must've decided things improved. Maybe the mom was makin' an effort."

Erin looked at her husband like he was about the daftest person on the planet. "You did not see that place and no, nothing had improved. It's one night. Do you think you can handle that?"

Kelly didn't answer, instead snatching a bottle of water from the fridge. Holly had come through with a prescription of something stronger than ibuprofen. With it came a lecture about getting his shoulder checked out, he might need PT, and the final word that it came with no refills. He popped three hoping they would do the trick and he could manage more than a couple hours of sleep.

The next morning, Erin was drifting like a balloon, in that perfect place between dreams and actual waking. It was some of the best sleep she'd had in weeks. The first rays of sunlight were slanting through blinds, breaking her spell, hitting her in the face. She reached to the other side of the bed and her fingers curled around emptiness. Kelly was already gone. She sighed heavily and got up to make a big breakfast. A huge, eggs, bacon and whatever else her houseguest wanted breakfast.

* * *

**I know, I know, this whole mad at each other thing is infuriating and sad. How will they ever make it back to each other? Leave me your thoughts.**

**I'll update soon now that A Very Chicago Fire Christmas is winding down. We've got a big New Year's Eve party update to finish. Go check it out if you need some sweet Linseride fluff. And again, thanks for sticking with this one even in its darkest hour.**


	17. Chapter 17

**I was expecting crickets after the super sad turn I took in this one, and instead y'all have stuck with me. Thank you for all the reviews! They overwhelm me. To my regulars, I appreciate all the feedback and support. To all my no account friends - Guests, Natalie, Aryal, &amp; Joy - thanks for staying for the ride. Hope you enjoy this one!**

* * *

"Javi, you want pizza or spaghetti tonight?" asked Erin hoping the boy would say pizza and it would mean a phone call could whip up dinner.

"Spaghetti, please," he said, huge grin on his face. Those long eyelashes, big brown eyes, and olive skin… yeah, he was gonna be a lady killer someday. She figured she wouldn't be the first woman who couldn't say no to the kid.

Erin pulled out a couple of pots to get sauce and pasta going, marveling at how well adjusted the little boy was. And polite. Hell, she was still working on half of IU to say please and thank you without an F word thrown in. Half the boys she worked with chewed with their mouths open. Erin thought back to her childhood, mirroring Javi's. She'd gone the rebellious route to survive.

But this kid. Javier, was such an anomaly. He was living in filth, some of the worst conditions she'd seen, yet he seemed so _unaffected_. His manners and easy smile had to have come from some loving parents, a sense of belonging… but they didn't.

The one night she'd ramrodded Kelly into agreeing to had worked its way into three nights. This being the last one. She was surprisingly sad about it. This seven-year-old had been the best company she'd experienced in over a month.

"Who's getting me tomorrow?" asked Javi for the third time. The kid was sharp, so she knew he hadn't forgotten. She had a feeling he was fishing.

"A nice couple who want to be your foster parents, remember?"

"You and your husband are a nice couple," he commented, already helping to set the table.

Does he even know Kelly's name? Her nice husband hadn't said three words to the boy who was living in their house.

"We're at work all the time, Javi," reminded Erin.

"It's okay. Can take care of myself," Javier countered.

"I know you can, but this is a couple who've been waiting a long time for a child, a child just like you."

The boy looked doubtful but didn't say anything else. He ate his food in silence, his custom, almost always putting up a hand as if someone was going to snatch his meal away. Yes, he gave the appearance of a normal little guy, but there were some cracks that showed life hadn't been the idyllic story from some fairy tale he probably hadn't even heard of.

That made Erin like the kid even more.

* * *

With the welcome distraction of the little boy gone, Erin had to face her own demons. At the moment her husband made the top of the list. What the hell was poking around in that Severide skull? Erin knew her husband was now relegated to a part time roommate. He was living a few nights a week at his place and crashing half the time with Shay. The text saying he wouldn't be home brought a relief to Erin, and she knew that was so wrong. But she didn't think she could handle the looks he gave their little houseguest as if it was some huge imposition. Erin and her little buddy could enjoy the last night of their slumber party, he'd go live a happily ever after with a new family, and she vowed to try to get back her happily ever after. They were going to talk even if it killed her, and she thought it just might. A come to Jesus meeting with a blonde savior she worked with and another who worked with her husband got her back on track.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but Kelly is really suffering," Shay was on the offensive almost immediately, judgy eyes planted firmly on the brunette detective.

"_Everyone_ is really suffering," chimed in Cally, giving Shay a shut your trap look. "It is time for you to put on your big girl panties and decide if you want to save this thing or not."

It was the verbal slap in the face Erin needed. If everyone around her could see them sinking into an abyss of no return, then it was time for her to realize it.

"You both are right," Erin agreed.

Well, that was unexpected, thought both blondes. Shay choked on air and Cailin had to mentally think to make her mouth clamp shut, ready to go with a battery of other arguments she had planned out. Both women shocked at how easy that was.

"Well, okay," Leslie finally said.

Erin promised herself she would talk to Kelly tonight no matter what. If she had to corner him at 51, at Shay's, maybe lock him in the cage, it was going to happen tonight.

The customary _I'm going to Shay's_ text came in right after he got off shift.

Erin rolled her eyes knowing Kelly was taking a Shay sleepover for granted. Leslie was all for the couple talking tonight, no way she was shuffling him off to her house. He was dropped off at their condo doorstep thirty minutes later proving her point.

"So decided to come home?" Erin asked, eyes narrowing at how tired he looked.

"Hmmph," he answered, resting his bag on the floor.

Without the Holly prescribed drugs, Kelly felt like his skull had been split in two. His molars hurt, and his head felt somehow bruised from the inside out. How could one little vertebra, maybe two, make everything hurt so damn much? He was finally admitting to himself that it had to be something wrong with his neck.

Kelly trudged to the shower hoping the hot would wash away that pain in his neck, the pain from his shift, the pain of a lost baby. He knew it would not touch any of it. Erin let him get cleaned up. Then they were working this thing out, she told herself.

The well maintained wall they'd built up seemed to be getting higher with each bout of silence. Would they even know how to talk to each other, she wondered. Erin waited for the water to stop, but it kept on going. At long last it ceased and she waited for him to come out. That didn't come quickly either.

She heard a retching sound from behind the door and was torn between barging in or waiting.

"Do you need me?" she asked, turning the knob. "You sick?"

An answer came with the toilet being flushed and more sounds of vomiting.

Erin opened the door.

The silence lengthened as Kelly searched her eyes. There were no words to be spoken. She walked to him, sitting on the floor by the toilet, taking him in her arms. She cradled him for a long time and knew something was wrong. Something way beyond the two of them was wrong.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Erin," he kept saying over and over. "I'm an asshole. Tried to hurt you. Did hurt you." They'd moved up to the couch with Kelly sprawled out, Erin's body between his outstretched legs. She was curled up in his arms.

"I did all this, Kel. I did it," Erin cried, burying her head in his chest, admitting it out loud again cutting straight to her heart. "Our baby," her voice choked out unable to say anything else about their baby… the baby who's heartbeat they'd listened to, seemingly as strong as a drum, who she pictured having Kelly's eyes, his grin, a boy. She teased him mercilessly about it being a girl, but no… she envisioned a little Kelly. Always.

"Don't say it," he whispered in her ear, kissing the top of her head. "You came to me and I pushed you away," he admitted, both arms around his wife stroking her back up and down. He hadn't felt the softness of her skin in weeks, her silky hair and the faint smell of her shampoo. Such a damn fool, he thought. "Forgive me?" he failed her on every level, acting like it was only him facing the loss.

"Can you forgive _me_, Kelly?" Erin asked looking up at his face. "Our baby, our baby," she cried out, repeating it, hoping to turn back time and do something differently, anything differently. Her tears flowing for the first time since the day it happened, bottling everything up and eventually letting the hurt flow out as anger.

"There ain't a damn thing to forgive... I love you," he said nodding his head, accepting the accident for what it was. "I love you so damn much. I need you Erin." Kelly let his face touch hers, the closeness feeling so right. Her breath falling on him feeling so right. Her body in his arms feeling just right. "We're gonna be okay," he insisted to her, and to himself.

Kelly closed his eyes again taking in the warmth of his wife, everything about her feeling perfect pressing against his body. Even the hot tears from her face having a familiarity and a _rightness_ to them. His own tears falling onto her hair. Their baby was gone. It was time for them to face it, to take down the calendar, to clear out the nursery, and to get back to living the life they were making. Together. Yes, he decided, it was time for them to face it. Together.

"I love you," Erin breathed out between sob wrecked breaths. She felt broken and knew her husband felt the same way. Kelly was right, we will be alright, she thought. We'll build ourselves back up, one little bit at a time. Together.

* * *

The next day was just the Severides, phones off, laptops off… it was a couple pretending the world did not exist. They holed up in the condo hunkering down for some serious alone time, as everything went on around them. Erin talked about their baby, the dreams she hadn't shared with Kelly, the hopes she pinned on an unborn child. Uncharacteristic for her, but she needed to unload, feeling a desire to let him know she had fallen in love with their baby too.

Kelly made some calls while Erin napped, arranging to get the baby things out of the condo. Casey would break down the crib, changing table, all the bigger pieces and Manny was coming to haul it all away. Matt hadn't known how to help the struggling couple, having his own relationship issues. Gabby was all consumed with the job, her candidacy wearing on both of them. It had been a struggle from day one with the bunch of good ole boys at her house. She had to constantly prove herself and it never seemed good enough. Casey honestly didn't see why she was putting herself through the torture and that was half their problem. He didn't get it.

Matt was thrilled to be doing something now.

Cailin swung by on the way to a Callahan dinner wishing she could stay and chat for a while, for a long while and maybe miss the whole affair. She quickly saw it was a no visitors kind of day, picked up the baby clothes saying Ma's church group would appreciate them, and left adding a quick, "Lindsay, those big girl panties suit you." Erin's husky laugh could be heard as Cally let herself out.

_All's good in Severide land_, she texted Jeff in the car. He'd been called in, all too happy to miss the big dinner but also regretting not being able to help with the clearing of the nursery planned for the next day.

_Good_ was his reply.

Cally snorted at the terse response knowing it belied how happy he was at the news. She peeked in the bag of baby clothes pulling out a teeny onesie. How the hell does a tiny human fit in this thing, she wondered, running a hand over the super soft cotton, tracing the words on the front, "My Daddy's a Firefighter." She stuffed the onesie back in the bag roughly, stuffing her emotions down as well, ready to face the Callahan clan. More than a small part of her now looking forward to it even without her cowboy.

* * *

"Kelly," Erin started as the two sat down to eat the Chinese takeout. "You gonna tell me what's going on with you?"

"Hmm?" Kelly asked not wanting to think about that pain coming from his neck. The pain that was makin' it hard to think of anything else. He stuffed his mouth full of rice muttering something about it being good.

Erin just stared at him, eyebrows raised, watching him as he avoided her eyes. He'd groaned through the night those moments he did sleep. When he was awake, she could tell he was hurting. She put her chopsticks down and waited.

"What?" he snapped. It isn't the time, he told himself. Everyday he said the same thing. Not the right time to call his neuro, not the right time to say something to Shay or Casey, not the right time to do anything about that pain that started as a slight nagging moved into gnawing and was now at unbearable.

"Kelly, I know you're hurting. Talk to me," Erin said as gently as she could, resisting the urge to push further and harder.

"I think I tweaked my neck a little," he admitted, forcing down his rising anger at her prodding. This is not the right time, he told himself again. They just reconnected about thirty seconds ago, didn't need to deal with his crap.

"Please, Kelly," Erin tried, worry flashing in her eyes.

"You're gonna make me do this now, aren't you?" he asked, dropping his fork, thinking about dropping his tough guy exterior. Those damn hazel eyes.

"Yep," Erin replied, dimpled grin added to the pleading.

"Shit." Kelly took a deep breath and started from the beginning, the ladder fall, the hurt, how it got worse and worse each day. "It couldn't 'o come at a worse time," he reasoned, trying to excuse his cover up.

"Yeah, next time, fall on a Tuesday, when I'm off and we've just come back from the beach okay?" Erin's words covering her concern. She knew her man didn't complain, he didn't show weakness almost to a detriment, and he sure as hell didn't moan and groan the way he had last night. "So what do you want to do?"

"I guess I'll call my neurosurgeon, the one who fixed it first time 'round," Kelly answered noncommittally.

"First thing tomorrow?" Erin asked, wishing he'd done that a month ago, but also knowing complaining about it now was not going to accomplish anything. Kelly was the way Kelly was. She loved it, but at the moment also hated it. They were raw, grieving… they didn't need an argument about anything right now.

"Yep," Kelly replied casually, "tomorrow." He had no intentions of following through, but those hazel eyes made him fulfill his promise.

The phone call led to a squeezed in appointment that led to an all day affair. Dr. Stinson wanted a battery of tests starting with an MRI.

"You should have come in the day this happened," he chastised his patient. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This could very well be your neck. Let me study the MRI and I'll call you in for a follow up. We'll go from there."

The reality of it hit Severide when Dr. Stinson said he was off duty, couldn't even go in to do paperwork. When he fit Kelly with a neck brace, the fireman thought he was going to jump out of his skin.

"It's okay, Kel," reassured Erin rubbing her hand along his arm.

The piercing look he gave her said there was no way the brace was staying on. Proof of that came in the car.

"I can't breathe with that thing on!" he complained, flinging it to the back seat. "I shouldn't have gone in," he muttered under his breath.

"You are kidding me?" Erin asked in disbelief. "Because you think you're growin' a new neck sometime soon?"

"Ha, ha. No, just couldn't of come at a worse time." Kelly thought about what he had cookin' in his brain, all of it some serious making up of time. He wanted to make up for lost days apart, help them create some happy memories to combat the sad ones. He knew they'd probably be grieving in some way for the rest of their days, but he was determined they were adding some smiles on that dimpled face. And now this.

He grumped out, "Wanted to take you to Joe's tonight. Haven't been there in so damn long."

"And why can't you take me now?" One of those grins appeared.

"I ain't wearin' that thing," he answered, eyeing the brace like an enemy.

"Yes you are," she smiled and kissed him on the cheek before taking off.

* * *

The doc gave Kelly some painkillers that rivaled Dr. Holly's. So good he doubted anything was wrong with his neck, at least for that night.

He whistled as he got out of his car, running to the other side to open Erin's door.

"Wife," he said dramatically, motioning for her to get out.

"Husband?" she answered stepping into the cold, making a mental note to drive home. She could see Kelly traveling into the half drunk land of loopy, but it was a welcome change. His face hadn't seen a smile in how long? How easily they were stepping back to their usual roles, their easy way with each other. She suspected they had a hard road ahead, but was also certain they'd faced the worst.

"I love you, Erin," he whispered in her ear, moving from from side to side behind her, deciding which side to stay on.

"You're making me dizzy, Severide," she laughed out, a real laugh that hadn't been heard in such a long time, seemed extinct.

"Jeanine!" Kelly said exuberantly as they entered, with Erin shaking her head.

"Oh my goodness! It has been ages, you two," the sweet waitress went in for a hug from her favorite couple. All at Joe's watched these two go from friends to more, enjoying the romance like a bit of reality TV in their diner. "Now what did you do to yourself?" she asked looking at the neck brace the fireman was sporting.

"She's makin' me wear it," he whispered, eyeballing Erin. "Let's get a few drinks in her, then I'll see if I can sneak it off."

Erin laughed, "I can hear you two."

They were seated at their favorite booth, the drinks on the way, with a red wine ordered on the sly for the detective.

"What exactly did Dr. Stinson give you?" Erin wondered aloud, musing if there was enough to share.

"It's good, whatever it is," Kelly answered, reaching for his her hands. "Hey, wife," he started.

"Yes, Kel."

"I'm glad you made me come 'round," he kissed her hands. "We're gonna be good. We _are _good," he insisted, winking at Jeanine as she made her way back with the drinks.

Erin chuckled looking at the wine glass… "You tryin' something, Severide?"

"Maybe," he said slyly. Jeanine left the couple, and Kelly's face got serious. "I'm tryin' to be a better husband. Erin, I am so sorry…"

"Shut up," Erin demanded. "I'm sorry, you're sorry. We're done with that asinine blame game." She grabbed Kelly's hands in hers now, brushing them against her cheeks. They felt so rough and so good against her face.

"Let's make it a quick eat," Kelly said, changing the subject, mischievous grin on his face.

"Okay?" Erin questioned, a vague awareness of what he was hinting at.

"Feel good enough for dessert at home," he said proudly. "And it's been a helluva long time since we've had dessert." He kissed her hands again, letting his mouth open slightly onto the back of her hand, running his tongue to her wrist.

"Too long," Erin agreed wondering how he made her hand feel so sexy and dirty at the same time. "Too damn long, hero," she repeated, closing her eyes, enjoying the feel of his mouth on her. Now and hopefully later.

* * *

**So they're making their way back to each other. Thoughts?**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks for sticking with me through the dark times. Your reviews, follows and faves mean so much. Linseride is working back to each other... hope you enjoy.**

* * *

The night was one to go down in the Severide books. Those pills held their own leaving Kelly ready to hold his own. It had been so long, just seeing Erin reach up to stretch her T-shirt over her head caused a low growl to emit from the fireman.

"You gonna be able to hold it together?" Erin laughed, her husky voice so sexy Kelly didn't know the answer to that.

"Don't you worry about my job. You just worry about takin' those clothes off," he looked at her with a need that was primal and unmet for over a month. He rushed at her, roughly throwing her on the bed. She let out a sound that resembled a squeal, followed by some more hoarse laughter.

He stood over her as if she were some prize he won, taking in every curve of her body. Tempting himself by standing still almost on top of her, waiting for her to make a move, hoping it would come soon.

Erin looked at her husband with the same lust she felt the first time she laid eyes on him… at 51 dealing with some thug named Vince Keeler. And all she thought about were those eyes and what was hiding underneath the quilted, dark blue squad jacket. She'd reprimanded herself for saying his name over in her head all the way back to the precinct when she should've been thinking about tracking down a bad guy. Then the night at Molly's, the easy conversation, the sweetness under the hot exterior. She knew that night she would not make it many days before she got a good, long look at what was lurking under his favorite leather jacket.

Erin leaned up yanking at one of his hands in one smooth move. Enough of this. "Come here, Kel." She pulled him on top of her, running her fingers along the chiseled muscles in his back, the little ripples of hills and valleys, always an amazement to her. The hard work and gym rat status to create that beautiful body.

He pressed his lips onto hers, both hungrily moving in harder, deeper. Erin rolled Kelly on his back, running her hands over his sweaty chest, letting them stray lower.

"God, Lindsay," he called out, the sweet torture of her fingertips playing him in a way only she knew.

"You like that?" she asked innocently, letting her lips follow the trail her fingers left.

He flipped her back over fulfilling the animalistic need pent up for weeks… the pair desperately clung to each other sharing a frozen moment in time that couldn't be pierced by the sadness of a lost baby. They would need that moment in the weeks to come.

* * *

"Well, lieutenant, I said I wouldn't sugar coat anything and I'm not. It is your neck, the same vertebra and unfortunately, the procedure I used last time is not an option." Dr. Stinson handed Kelly and Erin a file folder with other plans he'd mapped out.

"And why can't he have that same surgery?" asked Erin leaving the folder shut.

"It's deteriorated to such a degree the chance of a full recovery is 's also some evidence of slight comminution or fragment fractures we have in play this time. We'll have to go a more traditional route. I've sketched out a surgical option and a non-surgical option for you to look at," he referred to the packets he'd prepared.

"Non-surgical. That's perfect, doc!" Kelly perked up considerably, sitting on an examination table in silence for most of the appointment. Silently berating himself for waiting so long to seek help.

"Well, let's take a look at that plan first then." Dr. Stinson started unfolding the proposal to a shocked fireman who was left speechless.

Erin spoke up again…"That sounds a lot like doing nothing." Her arms folded, disdain for the surgeon written all over her face. There is no way her man was a give up kind of guy. She'd already decided that if this doctor didn't know that, they would go elsewhere. There had to be others out there who could help.

"No, it's a minimally invasive plan where we manage pain and use drug therapy to try and prevent further deterioration," Stinson explained. "Lieutenant, you'd be in a brace or cast for at least twelve weeks to start."

"So I wouldn't be a firefighter again?" Kelly finally spoke, barely able to choke out the words. It was the only job he'd ever wanted, the only thing he ever dreamed of being. He let himself think about adding the title dad, longed for it, was ready to put it at the top of the resume. And where had that gotten him?

"No, the rigors of the job would never allow for that. There's always teaching. I've also seen guys take desk jobs at headquarters…" the neurosurgeon reasoned.

"Those ain't options for me, doc," Kelly said sullenly, his face telling the story of a man on the edge of defeat.

"Let's hear the surgical option," Erin jumped in, standing by her husband, running her hand in small circles on his tense back.

Stinson outlined an intricate surgery that was basically a rehash of what Kelly'd heard the first time he broke his neck. Out a year, extensive rehab, hope for the best… the stake through the heart - the words he remembered, "I've never seen anyone make it to full duty after this."

Erin was scribbling notes, hearing it all for the first time. The doctor excused himself to leave the couple to themselves.

"Kelly, we'll get through this," she whispered not liking the stupor he seemed to be in. "Hey, it's not the worst thing that could happen. You are going to be a firefighter again."

"We've been through the worst. And now this on top of it all," his head was hanging so low and all the Severide fire gone out of his eyes. The baby gone, his career down the toilet.

They remained in silence, both thinking about the baby, a rush of emotions that would hit them for the rest of their lives. At an unexpected moment, the loss would flood in to remind them things could change in the blink of an eye.

"Hey, hey," Erin broke the silence, pulling Kelly's head up with her finger. "We are gonna be okay. And you are going to be okay. Got it?" She didn't know how true her words were, but she knew he needed to hear them. She hoped he had another recovery in him, but a nagging in her gut said a man could only take so much, _her _man could only take so much before the body said no more.

So damn strong, Kelly thought. He pulled her in tight, burying his head deep in her chest, knowing he would need that strength.

"I got you, Kel," Erin said, "I got you right here." And _those _words she was certain of.

* * *

The surgery was called a success by Dr. Stinson, complication-free … "Now begins the heavy lifting," he said the next day when Kelly emerged from an anesthesia haze.

"I can move in," Shay offered, holding Holly's hand, feeling it tense up slightly.

"You just moved in with this one," Erin replied looking at Holly forcing a slight smile, "You are not moving in with us. Would Holly move in too? Four of us in our condo? I love you for the offer, Leslie Shay, but sardines packed in a too small can… uh, no way," Erin said flatly.

Holly exhaled deeply, not wanting to share her girl with anyone. She was up for helping out, for doing what they could, but moving in?

Erin was exhausted, the dark beneath those hazel eyes showing the worry and grief encompassing her world, from one tragic event that ended a barely started life to one that could spell an end to her husband's passion. She was running, running because she had to, afraid if she stopped she would never get back up.

"What're you gonna do? When you get him home, he can't be alone while you're at work," Shay pried, needing to do something. She knew Kelly could NOT _not _be a firefighter. It was in his DNA, imprinted in the Severide code. What was he if not a firefighter?

"We've worked it out. We hired someone to come in, make sure he has what he needs," Erin explained, not wanting another fight, not sure if she could take another fight. Kelly was against anyone helping out, saying he was fine on his own.

"If I can't get up to take a piss, you may as well put me down, Erin," he said only half joking. She hadn't seen the humor in it at all.

"We are hiring a home health care person and that's it," Erin insisted, her eyes saying don't even think about arguing. That had been her way. He tried to fight her and she wasn't taking it. He tried to go dark and she said no way. She'd fought this hard to get them back, she was not backing down now. If anything, they needed to be stronger than they ever had been.

"When I'm off shift, I'll be there every second, every minute," Shay pushed, letting go of Holly's ever tightening grip.

"Shay," Erin said slowly, "Can we talk, outside?" Leslie hesitantly followed the brunette out of Kelly's room, the fireman oblivious to any of the conversation, to the fact that there were even people in his room.

Shay tapped her foot impatiently, not having the time for whatever was to follow. The blonde knew deep within her that she was the one who knew what Kelly needed. She always had.

"Leslie, I know you love Kelly. I know he's been your number one for too many years to count, but now… things are different. He's my number one…" Erin said as gently as she could.

"He is my best friend," Shay interrupted.

"Let me finish," Erin stated with a dead calm. "He is my number one, my number one priority, the person I love more than anything else in this world. Rest assured of that. I will take care of him through this. Do we need your help? Hell yeah. But he doesn't have to be your number one anymore. I got that covered." Erin paused hoping a blow-out was not to come.

Shay chewed on this for a minute while chewing on the inside of her cheek. "It just feels so weird. We were all we had for so long, then you came along… Not that it's bad, I'm happy for you two. It's just _different_." Leslie's eyes were watering up and Erin could've kicked herself for saying anything.

"I know it's different," she interjected. "But like you said it's not a bad thing."

Shay contemplated that for another minute before bringing Erin in for a tight hug, both women losing it, tears flowing.

"We're gonna need you Leslie Shay. I'm not saying disappear on us. You just don't have to be there every minute of every day," Erin choked out. it was a hard conversation that had been a long time coming. Kelly had agreed when his wife said his blonde best friend deserved happiness, a happiness at home that maybe didn't even include him.

"You got it," Shay answered, something in her both breaking and coming together anew. She looked in Kelly's room, feeling that her number one may be in there after all and it wasn't the man in the hospital bed.

* * *

The first home health care _professional _was relieved of her duties after one day. Erin gave little Amy the big heave ho after the nurse insisted that Kelly needed a sponge bath while he was semi-coherent. She cried buckets apparently attached to her patient after less than four hours.

The second nurse was a man, a big, hulk of a man with a no nonsense attitude and a no sponge bath policy. Chris also had an easy smile and Erin thought kind eyes. Kelly didn't have an opinion, insisting more than ever that he didn't need a freaking "babysitter." Grumpy did not even begin to cover the attitude the fireman was sporting when told he couldn't start any PT until he was evaluated by Dr. Stinson in a week.

"A week?" he'd almost yelled at the doc.

"Yes," the neuro replied calmly, "and I wouldn't get my hopes up for any therapy that soon. I've seen patients who weren't ready for a month."

Erin thought she may be dealing with a heart attack from her man if Stinson continued.

"But we know that won't be you, Kel. Okay? That's not you," she tried to comfort him.

He was inconsolable most of that week, frustrated at having to remain so immobile, not happy with the huge neck brace he was supposed to wear. Chris dragging him to the bathroom and back to bed, only letting him take off the brace when showering. When finished, there was Nurse Chris, towel in one hand, brace in the other.

Erin went to work more focused on her phone and texting Kelly than the cases they were trying to close. She couldn't have cared less about the DePaul drug debacle, if anyone else went down, wanting to forget the whole ordeal. She knew Cally was on some warpath ready to run over anything and anyone who got in her way. Erin tried to get her to let it go, but to no avail. She didn't have the energy to fight her, to make her back down. She didn't have the energy for much of anything other than taking care of her fireman.

Dr. Stinson's words proved true and Severide was not ready to start any PT. He was given the green light to move around, and the doc was happy with how everything looked.

"So far, so good," he said looking at a new set of scans. "No complications. This is good news," he insisted, seeing that scowl on his patient's face.

Erin refused to let him sink into a Severide darkness. She was his rock again and again, fighting for him, for his recovery, for them like she never had. It was when she found him on the bathroom floor, she took it in and decided she would be the rock this time. She would be a damn mountain if she had to.

"Hey no long faces, hero. We'll have you on a treadmill before you know it." Erin could feel her phone vibrating again. Third time. She stole a quick glance… it was Voight. They'd all been Voight.

"Just get it," Kelly muttered, trying to loosen the brace.

"Hank's called three times," she explained, hitting his number, giving her husband a don't touch the brace look.

"Javi's missing," Voight said before Erin even got out a "what's up."

"What do you mean missing?"

"He ran away this morning."

Erin let out a deep breath as she clicked End. Could one more thing happen, she thought. She banished that idea quickly, not wanting to tempt fate.

* * *

Kelly told Erin to go. Find that kid, make sure he was safe. He even smiled as she kissed him goodbye. But there was nothing joyous in his grin. His mind said it had only been a week, his brain told him it was going to be a long journey, but his heart wanted another miracle. He wanted to feel like he was actually working to get better, not just layin' around on his ass, waiting for the hour to come when he could take another pain pill. The sitting around would bring in that darkness, nagging doubts about a full recovery, a heaviness in the heart with little flashes of a baby that would never be. He knew it was crazy, stupid, but Kelly couldn't help but think a baby would've made it all the more bearable. He shook his head banishing those little things that could drive a person crazy. How the hell would I even take care of a baby right now? Although deep within, he knew he would've found a way.

He was in bed trying to sleep when he heard the door open and shut. Erin peeked in the bedroom suspecting he was still awake.

"I'm not asleep, babe," he said leaning up on his pillow, reaching for the lamp on his nightstand.

Erin turned it on for him. "Where the hell's your neck brace?" she snapped seeing his neck, his naked, braceless neck.

"Did you find the kid?" asked Kelly reaching for the hated thing lying at his side. He sloppily snapped it back on.

"Kel, you cannot take that off. Dr. Stinson said…"

"I know what the hell he said! I was there! Can you give me a break? I can't sleep with it on!" Kelly snapped back, words flowing like a raging river.

Erin pulled away slowly, the hurt in her eyes visible even in the dim light.

"Babe, I'm sorry. Come here. Didn't mean it," Kelly tried, reaching his arm out as his wife headed to the kitchen.

"I'll be right back. Getting you some water." Erin wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as she rushed out of the room and toward the living room.

"Is everything okay Miss Erin?" asked Javi, sitting on the couch, an untouched glass of milk in front of him. "I can stay back at my place. You know I can take care of myself. You can check on me tomorrow."

Erin laughed softly, sitting down next to her little friend. She put a hand on his knee, passing him the glass. She had figured she'd find him at his house, that place of filth and neglect. They always went back, she thought sadly.

"Everything's fine. You are not going anywhere," the brunette smiled warmly, hoping to bring some sense of stability, if even for just one night. "I told you that my husband had an operation? Well, it's only been a few days, and he's hurting and grumpy. He's not used to just laying around, doin' nothing." Erin tried to explain, the whole while Javi shaking his head yes, like he understood.

"I'll be real quiet tomorrow. Promise." The little boy held out his pinkie finger.

Where the hell did he learn that, wondered Erin laughing louder. She wrapped hers around his and they squeezed.

"Pinkie promise," he whispered with her hoarse laugh filling the space.

"Who's havin' a party out here?" asked Kelly shuffling to the kitchen area, reaching for a dining room chair. The sound of his own feet dragging on the floor, sending a shiver of disgust down his spine. Like a damn old man, he thought angrily.

"You should've called me, Kel." Erin helped him sit, feeling his arm pulling slightly away from her.

"I got it," he said wondering how he was gettin' back. "So who do we have here?" he asked knowing full well who this was.

"Hi, sir. My name's Javi," the little boy held out his hand.

Kelly stifled a laugh at the formality, holding out his hand. "We've met before, right?" he asked.

"Yes, sir. You were mostly in your room though," Javi trailed off.

"Erin, wanna help me back," Severide asked with a "we need to talk" mixed in there. "And nice meeting you, Javi. Or seeing you again."

"And when were you going to tell me we had a house guest?" Kelly asked once settled into their bed.

"I didn't really have a chance with you snapping my head off," she countered.

"True. And I'm sorry, babe. Frustrated, takin' it out on you. Forgive me?" he asked, pulling her down next to him, making a vow to quit doin' that. Laying on their sides, face to face, he brushed her cheek running his fingers down to the dimple. The softness sending another shiver down his spine.

Erin pushed her face closer kissing him on his stubbly cheek. "You gonna shave that anytime soon?" she teased.

"Shay said beards are in," he answered drawing her lips back to his.

"When have you ever been concerned with what's in?" she laughed between kisses. "I better get out there." She pulled away, both knowing they had to stop.

"Damn," he said sadly, eyes growing dark. How much longer, he wondered.

"Soon enough, husband," Erin promised, giving him one more kiss, keeping her hands off his face. "Hey, and Javi's a cool kid, right?"

"Yes and yes. Cool kid but just one night, okay?"

"Just one," Erin gave him another quick peck on the forehead, bouncing out of the bedroom back to her little bud who was stretched out on the couch fast asleep.

* * *

Erin enrolled Javi in a small Catholic elementary two days later. St. Elizabeth's had Voight ties running so deep, questions would not be asked, registration paperwork could be overlooked, and a seven-year-old could get back into the routine of school. The director's son had a clean record because of a certain sergeant at the 2-1. The assistant director's niece was alive and well due to the actions of the same cop. Hank's connections with the little school were tight, as tight as family.

"Why the hell'd you do that?" asked Kelly from the bed, feeling like he'd been surgically implanted on the thing.

"He's comfortable here. I'm afraid he'll bolt again if I put him with another family. He needs to be in school, Kel. It's just until I can find him a good home." Erin was sitting at the side of the bed.

"He ain't a dog, Erin… I can't say no to you. Ever," he complained. "Wouldn't make a damn bit of difference if I did. Would it?" he said losing the angry eyes fast.

"Nope," Erin answered, kissing him on the nose. "Your follow-up's tomorrow," she reminded unnecessarily. It was all Kelly could think about.

"If he says I can't start my PT, I don't know what I'm gonna do, babe," Severide admitted.

"If he does, we'll deal with it. You will do what he says because it's just a matter of time." Erin kissed him again, this time full on the mouth. "And my gut says you're going to be hitting it hard after the appointment."

"Hitting what hard?" he asked, slight grin spreading across his face.

"Be good. I've gotta go in for a few hours. Hey, and be nice to Javi. He said you didn't say three words to him yesterday." Erin was up, heading out before her husband could respond.

"So he's snitchin' on me now," Kelly complained loudly, hoping the kid heard.

Nurse Chris had been relieved of his duties when Severide demonstrated to his girl he could get around on his own. This day he wished the big guy was still around. "Up and down," Dr. Stinson had warned. Today was pretty far down there.

He took the brace off. His neck was killing him. Put it back on. Neck still killing him. He looked at his phone. Two minutes had passed. Another two hours before he could pop another pain pill. He wanted an ice pack but didn't want to get up and make the trek to the kitchen. He flipped on the TV for tenth time, scanning through the stations, landing on ESPN, turning it off a few minutes later.

At the one hour mark, Kelly decided it wouldn't kill him to take another pill.

"Goddammit!" he yelled as his glass of water crashed to the floor, the open bottle of pills following, leaving a scattered mess. He rolled off the bed, landing on all fours, trying to pick up the tiny white spheres with shaky fingers.

"Goddammit!" he yelled again, rolling on his back in frustration. He wiped his hand across his face, breathing heavily, wanting to punch something, anything.

The creak of the door opening a crack snapped his head to attention.

"Aaaahh!" he cried out at the sudden movement, bringing his hand to the back of his neck.

He could see a pair of brown eyes looking at him.

The door opened wider.

"Are you okay?" the little boy with the brown eyes asked.

"I'm good, Javi. Go watch TV or whatever you're doin' out there," Kelly instructed as the boy stepped in moving closer to the fireman.

Kelly's eyes were closed now. When he opened them, Javi was directly above him, just staring down.

"Jesus!" he called out, startled at how close the boy had come.

Javi held out his hand for Kelly to take. Severide reluctantly took it wondering how that little runt was gonna get him back in bed. He did. The strength surprising him, just like his wife's.

The little boy popped down below the bed, then popped up again, pill bottle in hand.

"Got 'em all!" he exclaimed taking one out for Kelly, putting the bottle on the nightstand. "Be right back," he breathed out running from the room.

He returned about 30 seconds later, full glass of water in hand. "Here," he offered smiling.

Kelly took the water, downing the pill gratefully. He closed his eyes, resting his head against his pillow, hands going for the brace. A little pair of hands met his.

"Miss Erin says you have to keep that on," his voice whispered out, shakily.

You have got to be shittin' me, thought Kelly before a huge laugh belted out, jarring his neck further, a few tears springing out. Severide not sure if they were from the hurt or the laughing. He didn't care.

He opened his eyes again and Javi was not there. A rustling on the other side of the bed snapped Kelly's neck in that direction.

"Mmmph," he grunted. "Jesus, kid. Quit moving around before you kill me or break my neck again." He pat the side of the bed, turning the TV back on. "Blackhawks have an early game today."

"What are the Blackhawks?" asked Javi.

After his initial "what the hell" reaction, Kelly launched into a sports history lesson about "the best team in hockey." The little boy listened, taking it all in, getting excited for the game. Severide had him get chips, dip, soda, and one beer from the kitchen… took two trips. He was thankful Erin hadn't said anything about no beer.

Kelly was animated throughout, enjoying the defensive match-up against the hated Red Wings. Javi watched the fireman and mimicked his moves, adding his own yells of encouragement or disgust.

When Erin came in after more hours than she chose to count, the place was so quiet she thought it might be empty.

"Javi," she whispered, heading to the second bedroom, a nursery a few months earlier, now empty. Still empty.

Panic began to rise… had he run? She quietly opened her bedroom door, stopping dead in her tracks. Kelly was on top of the covers, flat on his back and snoring softly. She smiled seeing the neck brace on, grin fading quickly noticing the empty beer bottle on the night stand. Javi was next to him, sleeping on his side, comforter pulled up to his chin. An empty bag of chips lay between the two with crumbs littered on top, and she imagined under, the covers.

She thought about carrying the young boy to the couch, but settled on leaving him in her bed. It was a big day tomorrow. Javi was starting at St. Elizabeth's. Kelly had his doctor's appointment. Erin fell asleep almost the instant her head hit the couch cushion, feeling so much better about both.


	19. Chapter 19

**A teeny bit crickety after the maybe too long update? Hope you like this new one. Thanks to those sticking with me and writing those epic reviews - so fun to read. :) Been in somewhat of a writing funk lately, so thank you to 2NY, Roby &amp; SD for the encouragement.**

* * *

"So how'd it go?" asked Kelly from the treadmill. When Dr. Stinson gave the greenlight to some PT, he'd taken that as a call to action. He jumped on the piece of exercise equipment he formerly ridiculed, giving Erin hell for using it … "It's a damn human hamster wheel," he insisted. Now he was jog/running on the dreadmill, feeling human for the first time in two weeks.

"Good," answered Javi quietly, hanging his new backpack on a dining room chair. He unzipped it taking out a load of books and folders.

Kid's not one for talkin' thought Kelly with a smile.

"Good," the fireman echoed.

"So you can work out?" the little boy asked, eyeing the treadmill suspiciously wondering if Miss Erin knew about this.

"Yep," Kelly replied, huge grin on his face. "Hey, get me some water, will ya?"

Javi took off to the fridge grabbing a bottle for Severide and one for himself.

"Thanks," Kelly said stopping for a minute, contemplating the whole walking only command of the doc. He took in half the bottle with a couple of gulps.

"Well, tell me what went down," he said walking over to the kitchen table.

Javi started slowly but built up speed as he talked about making a friend at lunch, a girl named Isabelle who liked baseball as much as he did.

"Wait, hold up. You like baseball?" Kelly asked, draining his bottle. He grabbed another two adding a couple of bananas and yogurts to his load. He plopped the snacks on the table nodding his head at them, "Help yourself. So who's your team?"

"Cubbies," Javi replied as if waiting to see if that was the right answer.

"Ah hell no!" Severide yelled out. "You are in for a lifetime of pain and misery, my friend! I speak from experience!" Kelly went on to outline each and every disappointment his team had laid out for him, expertly building up expectations only to crush every fan's dreams at just the right moment.

"Do you play?" asked Kelly, wheels spinning, remembering some of his best times when he was Javi's age were with his peewee football team.

The boy shook his head no, looking down at some imaginary spot on the table.

"You wanna play?" Severide asked, already on his phone looking up leagues for kids. He had to admit, the boy had grown on him. He was a good kid who'd had some hard knocks. No reason a little happiness couldn't come his way.

Javi shrugged his shoulders, noncommittally.

"You wanna play or not, kid?" Kelly asked finding several teams for seven-year-olds starting up in the Spring.

"Yes," he said hesitantly.

"Done," the fireman responded, knocking his water bottle against Javi's, smiles wider than Lake Michigan on both faces.

* * *

Weeks ran by with Erin and Kelly chasing after them, both focused on getting a fireman back to work, getting themselves back to each other. Each day saw a few more smiles, an unexpected burst of laughter, a carefree moment of pure joy … all of it healing. Erin had felt like a kite barely connected to Kelly with a long, long string. That string was shortening each day and the two were almost back to the couple they were before the tragic loss that threatened to rip them apart.

Javi played a part in the healing, helping the two focus on something other than themselves. Kelly signed him up for junior spring training at Kilbourn Park Little League before they were officially taking registrations, working his magic on the phone.

"You sure that's a good idea, Kel?" Erin began, not wanting to damper the two boys' spirits but also thinking her man needed a reality check. "What if his new home is far away? How are you going to get over there, drag him to the practices?"

"When I can barely drag myself in and out of the shower?" asked Kelly, taking the conversation where she did not want it to go.

"That's not what I said," Erin answered. "You're doing great, you are, but signing Javi up for little league is such a huge thing. Not something you can back out on."

"Because that's what I'd do?"

Not going the way I want, thought Erin determined to not let this turn into a fight. She'd been the supportive wife in a way she would never have imagined possible. The two made their way back to each other and she was not letting this turn things frigid again.

"You would never do that," she said, smiling at her husband. She kissed him on the cheek before heading in. Erin knew it was killing him to watch her head to IU every day, to have him sitting most of his waking hours, the PT moving at a snail's pace.

Despite Dr. Stinson's warnings, both had secretly hoped for a miracle, for Kelly to be the one to break records in recovery. It wasn't happening. He did feel like a hamster, spinning a wheel, but getting nowhere.

"Be good. Don't overdo. And I think it's a good idea, sign him up." Erin hurried out the door after another quick peck on the cheek. Voight texted that something big was brewing. He needed them all at the precinct like yesterday.

* * *

"Listen up," barked Voight, as if anyone would dare do anything else. "We've got a high profile, _maybe_ murder we're all on, as of now."

"Maybe murder? Someone's _maybe _dead?" asked Ruzek with Jay slapping him on the side of the head.

"Yeah professor, someone's dead," Hank responded, shooting Adam a look. "The someone is the kid of Senator Traviani. And this is all under the radar."

"When is it not under the radar," muttered Halstead with Ruzek swatting him on the head. Olinsky gave Adam another swat.

"Ladies, can we quit playing grab ass and focus. Chase was a junior at U of C, ME's office is ruling it a suicide, but Grace ain't buyin' it."

"And Grace is?" questioned Cally scribbling everything in a small notepad. Erin giving her a "you're such a school girl look."

"Senator Traviani. Try to keep up cupcake. We're gonna take a look, check out every angle and see if Grace is right."

"Hank, which side are we on? Suicide or murder?" asked Erin knowing he'd already fine tooth combed the whole thing.

"Neither. A woman's son is dead. We're not on either side." Voight rolled out the assignments. Alvin and Ruzek paired up, Jay and Erin. Antonio had called in some comp time, a problem with his ex and his son rising to the top of his priority list.

"Let's roll out," he said needlessly. "Lindsay, in my office before you take off."

She knew before she entered what was up. "Hank, I'm fine with Halstead." Erin stated flatly. They hadn't been partnered up in ages, but it was time.

"You sure?" he rasped out, looking at her hazel eyes for any indication otherwise.

"I'm sure."

Jay was already outside the precinct, on his phone, texting with a small smile on his face.

"Everything okay?" he asked as Erin headed to the driver's side.

"All good," she said with a dimpled smile.

They shuffled through three friends of Chase, all signs pointing to a troubled young man with failing grades and a famous mom. No one had a bad thing to say about the college student, they all liked him, but happy-go-lucky would never be used to describe him.

"Looks like it's a suicide," Jay said as they got back in the car.

"Looks that way," agreed Erin, looking down at her phone, making sure Kelly was okay, didn't need anything.

"How's Severide doing?" Halstead asked sheepishly. He'd wanted to know, the bones of his friendship with Erin still in place even if he did everything he could to chunk away at all the flesh.

"Better. Slow going. Thanks for asking," the brunette answered. "So where to now?" she asked.

"Lunch. I'm starved."

The strained friendship made a reappearance, time healing all old wounds. Erin had to admit it felt good to have her old partner back. He was back in a way that involved no wanting glances, no undertones of thinking there could ever be something more.

They made it back to IU bullshitting like old times and Hank reminded himself to pat his own back that night. He needed his fractured unit whole again. Cally was back to her not quite so feral self, Erin was back to thinking about work, and now his team looked like they were going to be a team once more.

* * *

The day Kelly paid the dues for the league was the day Javi left their home.

"You ready for this?" Severide asked while handing over his card to the teenage girl at the little league office.

"Heck yeah," Javi said smile taking over his face.

Clarke laughed at the two, rattling his keys in his hand. Playing chauffeur for the day, he'd been shanghaied into lunch, a batting session where Kelly just barked orders from the side, and now a trip to Kilbourne Park. He was worn out, darn kid was wearing him out. He knew his friend was feeling it.

Jeff had been the relief lieutenant at 51 for just over a week now, finally acquiescing when the relief at 5 was put on permanent disability. The other possibility was a rotating relief lieutenant at 22 who'd managed to break his collarbone at home walking to his truck on an ice slicked driveway. The FD was scrambling with the top brass calling 102 to ask Clarke's chief if his lieutenant could fill in for the skeleton crew on Squad 3. A replacement for Newhouse had never been found and now with Kelly out, the team needed a capable leader. Chief strong-armed into the move, Jeff agreed also. If he were honest with himself, he was lookin' forward to being back with family, but the reality was he would eventually return to his house and the building of respect and trust would begin again.

"The shelf life on you guys doesn't seem to be that long," Cally commented after hearing the shuffling of men due to injury and disability.

Jeff gave a "hrmmphh" but Cailin knew those wheels were turning, making little mentions of promotions and not being on squad forever. She knew Erin longed for those words, but would probably never hear them. As similar as their men were in many ways, there were miles separating the two in other areas. Cally was thankful for those miles, lending an ear to Erin's worries over Kelly's rehab, his recovery, his career.

Now, Clarke was wiping the sweat off his face as Severide paid for Javi's first foray into the world of organized sports. God help 'em, he thought.

Kelly's smile faded quickly as he pocketed his card, taking a look at his phone.

"Hey, who's up to celebrate? Beers all around?" Severide grinned, erasing the clouds from a second ago.

"I'm too young to drink, Mr. Kelly," Javi replied, eyes flashing with the excitement of the day.

"Mr. Kelly can't drink either," Clarke piped in, "How 'bout ice cream instead?"

"I can live with that," Severide said, looking at the little boy for agreement.

"I can live with that," he replied.

Javi hunkered down into a booth with a sundae almost as big as him, ending up with half of it down his face and shirt. He took off to the bathroom and Clarke took his turn at a little prying.

"So, what gives," asked Jeff.

"Hmm?" Kelly replied sucking down his chocolate shake. When Clarke didn't answer, still looking at him questioningly, Severide added, "What?"

"Your phone, the message."

"Jesus, you and your wife, couple of damn detectives. Well, she is an actual detective, but you…" he rambled on. Another silence with Jeff waiting.

"Uh, Erin texted, said they found a family for Javi. So, uh, it's good news," Kelly slurped some more of his shake.

"Is it?" asked Clarke.

"Yes. We knew this was comin.' Now it's here. Erin swung by the house, met the mom, real nice lady. Dad was at work, so a mom and a dad. It's all good," Kelly said convincing himself it was all good. He was all good.

They dropped Javi off that night. Kelly argued he should stay one more night but Erin said the family was expecting him. And just like that they shuffled the little boy out of their house and into another.

"He's got school tomorrow," Kelly tried.

"And they'll enroll him in his new school tomorrow. The sooner the better," Erin insisted, a resolve forming across her face.

"He probably wants to say bye to his friends," Kelly grumbled.

"_Please_, Kel," and with that there was no argument. They were taking him that night. It was done.

"Miss Erin," Javi said wrapping his arms around her neck so tightly, the wetness in his huge brown eyes soaking her shirt. She finally pulled away, eyes glistening, but forcing back the sobs that would come in the car. "Your family is so lucky to have you," she whispered in the boy's ear. Javi's arms were back around her neck. She swallowed hard … "say bye to Kelly."

"Hey bud. I'll pick you up in two weeks but you better be practicin' a shit load in the meantime," the fireman said as Javi pulled an instant replay of his cry on Erin's shoulder.

"I w-will. I p-promise," the boy stuttered out. Kelly pulled him away at arm's length, so he could look him in the face.

"This ain't the last time you're seein' us. I promise. Two weeks," Kelly didn't know how to make Javi believe. He knew the disappointment of empty promises. He knew the boy had nothing but those in his life.

Javi nodded his head yes, tears dropping to the floor. He wanted to say so much, too much for a seven-year-old. Tell them they'd been better parents in a couple of weeks than his mom had in seven years. Tell Kelly not to stay on that "dreadmill" too much, not to drink any beer. Tell Erin she smelled like heaven and she gave the best hugs he'd ever felt. But a seven-year-old didn't say those things he decided, so he kept his mouth shut letting his tears do the talking.

They moved to the door with Erin taking the suitcase from Kelly's hands. Javi was rolling in another one.

Erin didn't argue when Kelly grabbed the keys from her, no mention of the fact he wasn't cleared for driving. She dropped her face in her hands once out of sight of the little white house now holding their little roommate.

"It's not like we're never seein' him again, babe," Kelly said, rubbing his hand along her thigh as he drove. "This is what we want, right? He gets a new home."

Erin shook her head yes, but those tears would not stop.

* * *

"Come to bed," Kelly asked for the third time. Each instance met with a nod of the head or small grunt, but Erin would get caught back up in Chase Traviani's case file.

He realized burying her face in the paperwork was helping to bury those Lindsay feelings, but he had another idea to make her feel better.

When she jumped into bed five minutes later, he was just dozing off thinking it would be another night of soft touches, light kisses and pent up frustrations. The devilish grin on Erin's face said he might have been wrong.

"You up?" she asked.

He rolled over throwing his arm along her shoulder, her bare shoulder.

"That was fast," he commented, a matching grin affixed on his face as he peeked at her naked body.

"Done for the night. Need some cheering up," she whispered, just inches separating their faces. Her breath hot against his mouth.

"I'm practically a damn cheerleader," he whispered back.

"Are you sure you're up for it?" Erin asked, sick of treating him with kid gloves, knowing he was more than sick of it.

"Yeah, I'm up for it," he said slyly looking down the length of his body.

Erin's hoarse laugh rang out, and Kelly let loose a part laugh part growl that sent a shiver down her spine. She wanted him to attack her, to go at her with such force she would forget that anything else existed in the world but the two of them. Forget the items not lining up in a dead college student's file, forget her husband's injury, forget a little boy dropped off on a doorstep.

"I love you," Kelly whispered, crawling up the length of Erin's body as she lay on her back, chest rising and falling rapidly. His mouth began at her mouth not staying long, his tongue found her neck, softly trailing to the little crevice at her throat.

She let out a low moan and Kelly didn't let up, he didn't let up until both of them were drained, spent, done. The two lying in drenched sheets, more than a sheen of sweat covering their bodies.

"You okay?" he asked not opening his eyes.

"I'm good," she whispered, barely breathing out the words, that rise and fall of her chest showing how out of breath she was. "All good," she added with a hoarse laugh.

"Funny, babe, funny," Kelly said, rolling over on his side, feeling sore, sore all over, neck stiffer than it had been in two weeks. Get up, walk it out, he told himself.

* * *

Jeff woke up to the buzzing of Cally's phone.

"Cally," he said gently, touching her shoulder lightly. "Cally."

"Hmmm," she mumbled, before jumping upright. Nothing good came at this hour.

She grabbed at the source of the buzzing on her nightstand… "Erin," she mouthed to Jeff, "probably upset about the boy."

Cailin listened intently, "What?" she finally snapped, turning on the light.

Clarke was up now, the brightness shining in his face.

Cally hung up, throwing the remaining sheet off her, feet moving before they hit the floor. "Gotta go," she said, hastily shoving a pair of jeans on, still processing Erin's words. "She said she broke her fireman," Cailin answered the wordless question Jeff was offering up with his expression.

Clarke didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead, he slipped on his jeans. "I'm going with you."

* * *

**So, what do you think? Is this the last we've seen of Javi? Erin broke Kelly? It's gonna take more than hot sex and a ladder fall to break him, right?**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you to all my regulars who love Linseride and leave me a positive word with each update. You are awesome, smart and funny, and I love reading your thoughts. To my 'no account' friends - Aryal, EKFan, RIPShay, jdubbs, Jackie, ErinSeveride, and guests - wow, thanks for the kind words that make me want to write Linseride forever.**

**Hope you enjoy this little update!**

* * *

"He won't let me touch him, won't let me call 911, won't let me do a damn thing. Said he needs to _sleep _it off," Erin spat out, opening the front door before Cally's foot hit the last step up to the Severide place.

"This is ridiculous," Cailin exclaimed, rushing headfirst to her friend's bedroom.

"Whoa, babe, hold up," Clarke said catching his wife's arm. "I'm goin' in."

He slowly creaked the door open, letting out a sigh of relief seeing his friend in boxers on top of the sheets. Jeff walked over to Kelly, unsure if he should sit on the bed or just hover over him. He settled on standing, clearing his throat.

Severide's eyes flew open recognizing a male throat clear.

"Shit," he rumbled angrily. "Clarke, I'm fine. Go home."

"I plan on it. Just need to see you get out of that bed, move around a little, then I'm outta here."

Kelly exhaled loudly. Fight or flight. Right now he could do neither. "Give me a minute."

"Where you hurtin'?" Clarke asked hesitantly, fearing the worst.

"My junk's fine, it ain't that. Think I pulled somethin', lower back maybe."

"Not your neck? You sure?" Jeff asked doubtfully.

"Positive."

"What do you wanna do?"

Clarke agreed to getting him up hoping it wasn't a colossal mistake, moving him around trying to work out the tightness.

"I am so sick of this shit," Kelly said, not believing that an under the sheets session with the most beautiful woman he knew would lead to this, hobbling around like a man thirty years his senior. He also sensed Erin was sick of this shit too.

"I can imagine," agreed Jeff although he couldn't. He'd been out with his shoulder but not this long, never a question of him returning.

Both women barged in, Erin's jaw so tight, concern etched in the corners of her eyes.

"Should I call Shay or Brett?" asked Cailin trying to get a read from Jeff on how serious it was. "or 911?" she added slowly studying her friends, feeling like the girl who didn't get invited to the party.

"No one," Kelly and Erin answered together. Erin pictured little doe eyes fawning over her husband and her hand went instinctively to where her gun usually resided. No, she didn't need _that _right now. And Kelly had no desire to listen to the snorts of laughter coming from his best friend after she established he was not really broken. He could hear the cackles over his injury inducing sexcapades with his wife.

"I'll call the doc tomorrow, sure he'll fit me in and tell me everything's good," Kelly smiled at the suspicious eyes on him. "So, Clarke's, I love ya, but go home."

On the way to the car, Jeff grabbed Cailin's hand, speaking first… "I love you, babe." He brought her hand to his lips, small smile on his face.

"Back at you, cowboy," Cally reciprocated confused at the declaration right now.

"But…" he added, "if you ever break me let's just keep it between the two of us."

Cally put a hand on her mouth stifling her laughter until she slammed the car door. The laughter that would boom inside the confined space echoing throughout. Echoing inside their home as Jeff shut the front door in a rush. And echoing under the sheets sporadically as she worked so hard he thought maybe she was trying to break her cowboy.

* * *

Kelly felt a stab of disappointment when Dr. Stinson told him to lay off any PT for a couple of days, only amplified by the empty apartment greeting him after his appointment. Erin took off, Voight's call sounding urgent. What the hell could be so pressing about a dead college kid? He was _dead_. Instead of pushing it, Kelly'd given her a long kiss to show he was fine.

There was more than the disappointment of having to take it easy… he missed Javier. Plain and simple, he was lonely. When the little guy got home from school around 3:00, they would share a snack, and talk about the Cubs, the Hawks, whatever… that was the highlight of Severide's day until Erin made her way home. Now he only had his hamster wheel. Sure, the guys came over on their days off, but they all had their own lives. Clarke didn't want to sit around watching ESPN with a dude when he could be saddled up next to his beautiful blonde, not to mention what a time sucker that house was. Kelly labeled it the money pit, much to Cally's chagrin, but he knew every second Jeff was plopped next to him on the couch was a second he was thinking about making some home improvement. Manny had his own family with a load of girls into everything from dance to soccer to gymnastics. Casey was good for a day or two, but he was drawn by the Clarke money pit also, coming up with ideas for his childhood friend to approve or cut Shay… Shay. He took the cruel fact that he was no longer her number one like those bitter pills he swallowed down each day.

Kelly had to admit, it was more than just having someone around. He liked the kid. Manners like he'd gone to some freaking boarding school, a quiet sweetness about the boy. Ready to get a water, a towel for the fireman, the love of sports, especially baseball, and even the way he tattled to Erin.

"So what have you boys been up to?" asked Erin dragging herself in after a day of visiting with three very different, but all uber intellectual forensic experts, each having their own opinion on the Chase Traviani maybe suicide. Her brain hurt from the inside out.

Javi was stirring spaghetti sauce while Kelly assembled what had the makings of a salad. He was chopping celery with a pained look on his face.

"Hey, take a load off. I'll finish," Erin said dropping her purse on the couch and heading to the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around him feeling up and down the length of his body, doing that old, Erin body check that had been missing for months. Kelly smiled at how she started it back up again even though his riskiest maneuver was getting in and out of the shower. How he'd loved the move when he came in from a long shift. I'll get there, he told himself.

She moved over to Javi giving him a quick squeeze. "So what'd you learn today?" she asked.

His mouth became a non-stop motion machine, the quiet demeanor falling away with one look at the hazel eyes and dimpled smile waiting for him to answer.

"... and I learned that Mr. Kelly is good to drive now." Javi tried to take the heavy pot of pasta to the sink with Erin grabbing it from him.

"Really?" she asked giving her husband a look that said there would be no risk of duplicating her moves from the other night. "When did this happen?" she questioned Javi, the narrowed eyes saying there would be no risk of him not answering.

"Um, today," the little boy answered softly. "We didn't have that bread you like, so Mr. Kelly went to get it."

Erin rattled the empty pot in the sink, looking at the fireman who was now concentrating mightily on the tomatoes he was chopping. She knew that old bucket of bolts Benny dropped off in front of their house last week was nothing but trouble.

"So what did Dr. Stinson say when he apparently called you to tell you that driving was A-okay? Hmm?" her hand was now on her hip in that teacher stance that said you are going to the principal's office.

"Gotta pee," Javi sputtered out, almost running to the bathroom.

"Let's not blow this outta proportion," Kelly tried, shooting the boy a look, Javier not raising his head as he scuttled off. "You know damn well Stinson didn't call me. I ran out, got the French bread, came back in one piece. It's all good."

"It won't happen again though, right, Kel? Because I love you and after the other night… I don't know what I'd…" she couldn't finish.

"Nope. One time thing. If you need bread, you can get off your ass and get it yourself," he teased, taking her face in his hands laced with juice from the tomatoes. She brought one finger to her mouth, licking off the remnants of tomato, just as Javi bounded back in the kitchen.

"Sorry," the boy mouthed behind Erin's back.

Kelly mouthed, "You're dead meat" wrapping his hands around an imaginary neck out of his wife's sightline.

Erin spun around wondering what the two boys were laughing at now, having a feeling she was the brunt of it, and not caring one bit.

Now facing an empty apartment, Severide sighed heavily hopping off the banned treadmill wondering what the heck he was gonna do for the next three hours. He couldn't tackle the machine, not after Erin strapped that thing on his ankle. He'd tried to argue that it wasn't exercise equipment that almost sent him to the hospital, but she wasn't listening.

It was like those keys to the clunker were calling his name, in the voice of a damn seven-year-old kid. He threw on his jacket, grabbing them, lying to himself that he was running out to pick up a snack. He drove not thinking, not remembering the road he'd traveled to get to his destination, but there he was parked in front of Javier's new home, the little boy and his new family inside.

Kelly inhaled sharply knowing he should just turn the car around and get his ass back home, but something made him get out, walk up the long narrow path of cracked cement and ring that doorbell.

What answered the door made him think he'd gone to the wrong house. This couldn't be where they dropped off Javier.

"Whaddya want?" a heavyset man asked, the smell of a brewery lingering in the air. Kelly stood in stunned silence taking in the white wife beater he was wearing, sweat plastering it to a swollen belly, hair sprouting from every exposed area. Red spots littered the front of it, Severide wondered if that was some kind of sauce or maybe blood?

"What the hell do ya want?" he asked again, his face contorted, showing an annoyance that said he was up to something important.

"Uh, I think I got the wrong…" Kelly began, ready to turn around, but a pair of dark brown eyes caught his attention from behind the couch. "What the…" the fireman pushed the door in catching a glimpse of Javi ducking back down.

The man bumped up against Kelly, banging him against the wall. "Whaddya think you're doin? Get the hell outta…" He tried to push Severide again, missing in a drunken stupor that had him tumbling to the ground.

"Kid! Get out here!" yelled Kelly, sidestepping the mass of flesh on the floor.

"Mr. Kelly, you get outta here! He's a bad man!" Javi yelled back from behind the couch.

"Get your ass out here. Now!" Severide called, feeling a greasy hand on his shoulder as he shuffled to the couch. He grabbed the boy by the neck, launching him toward the door.

Javi stumbled over the side of the couch, crawling furiously to the exit. He crunched his knee into the man's bare foot, grinding it down hard as he snaked his way between his captor's legs. The massive body fell again narrowly missing Javier's too small for his age frame.

Kelly mused that alcohol was a good fighting partner as he watched the guy drunk-crash to the floor again. He hopped over the mound, avoiding a desperate grab at his ankle, wanting nothing more than to open a can of whoop ass on the ass, but also knowing he couldn't do it. He threw his keys at Javi's head, the boy catching them with one hand and sailing to the old car unlocking both doors before Kelly made it down the driveway.

"Hurry up, Mr. Kelly!" the boy pleaded, waving his hand in a blur, that motion telling Severide he was scared. What the hell happened to him? That fear.

Kelly turned to see the guy topple out the front door. "Ah, shit," the fireman said as he stopped and slowly turned back to the house. He exhaled loudly, feet now moving to the rotund, drunk giant.

"No! C'mon!" Javi's panicked voice floating in one Kelly ear and out the other. The boy rushed back up the driveway, leaving both doors open and the car now running.

Kelly stood over the man… "You pile of shit!" he said hands shaking, jaw clenched so tightly, Javi's fear driving him. On all fours, the man cocked his head up, his mind hazily recognizing the look in the fireman's eyes. It was one he wore often. The look of pure, raw rage.

Kelly didn't care if this set him back another couple of days, or weeks. He only cared about feeling the guy's jaw on his fist, enjoying the fear in the man's eyes as he created a few more spots of red on the front of his shirt.

Javi was yanking on his hand, pulling him to the car. Kelly stopped before getting in, taking the trembling little body in his arms, pulling him in so close and so tight.

"You ain't never goin' back there. I promise." He could feel the shaking begin to quell. "Let's go home."


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you again for the sweet reviews from my regulars and new readers! They are so much fun to read, helping me keep this Linseride train rolling. Glad you're not getting sick of this one. Ha! Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Kelly never thought he'd be the one fighting to have Javi stay, be a permanent fixture in their home, be the one to say the words that he figured they both were thinking.

"He isn't a stray Kelly. We can't just keep him because we want to. It isn't that simple," Erin reasoned. Surprised didn't begin to cover the emotions sweeping over her since she came home to two boys sitting on the couch, eating half the contents of the fridge. She kept telling herself that her situation had been so different. Hank rescued her when she was 15, this was a young boy who needed much, much more.

"I ain't sayin' it's simple. I know it's not, but we gotta do somethin'. That kid is not going back there," Kelly had drawn his line and was not backing down on this one. The dimples, those eyes, had a way of swaying things in the detective's favor. Not this time. His arms were as crossed as hers. His brow as furrowed and his jaw as tightly clenched.

"I will find a better place for him. He needs a mom and dad. Not us," Erin said quietly. "Not me."

"What the hell are you talkin' about? Not you? That's about the dumbest thing you've ever said," Kelly's voice was booming now. Their screaming matches could launch into epic proportions, this one threatening a new decibel level from the fireman.

"Do I need to say it?" Erin struck back, moving closer to her husband. "You really want me to say it?" her voice now matching his. "Fine. I have made it painfully obvious to everyone we know that I am NOT mother material. I've proven that cold, hard fact a million ways to Sunday. I didn't have one maternal instinct kick in. I don't have any. Yes, _you _did. _You _bought all those little outfits, had your little calendar! What did I do? I'll tell you what I did!" The rage in Erin's eyes left Kelly speechless. "I chose my job over my baby! I chose work over our baby! And now, now, our baby is, our baby…" Erin's words faded away as the rage exhaled out of her, leaving a heavy sadness. The silence shattered around them like broken glass, both being afraid to say one thing, make one move for fear of hurting themselves, each other.

Kelly spoke first, "Babe, you _were _excited about our baby. Don't say you weren't." He stepped toward his wife, scrubbing a hand over his short hair almost nervously. "Our baby deserves that," he added softly, reaching out to Erin, taking her in his grip.

Lindsay let herself feel Kelly's powerful and sure arms encircle her small body. She felt the familiar sense of comfort and safety as he pulled her against his chest.

"You ain't rewritin' history babe. I'm not gonna let you do that," he whispered. "You wanted our baby as much as I did."

If only I _could _rewrite history, Erin thought ruefully, her stomach turning as she willed her knees to not give out.

* * *

"Miss Shay," Javier began hesitantly waiting for some indication from the blonde to continue. He got it in the form of a highly arched brow.

"I've been thinking and I was just wonderin' why is your boyfriend a girl instead of a boy?" Javi looked genuinely baffled.

Shay snorted so loudly, the little boy knew he hadn't made his babysitter mad. He smiled at the response, his body relaxing a bit. Always used to walking on eggshells, always trying to be perfect so no one blew a fuse. Even at seven he realized that almost everyone in his life had a short one.

"Hasn't anyone ever had 'the talk' with you, J?" Shay asked looking for some sign of 'oh yeah, the talk' in his eyes. Nothing. Javi just shook his head no, waiting for this mysterious talk.

"Shit," she muttered to the disapproving big, brown eyes before her. "Maybe you should ask Severide when you get home." Shay hoped he would accept this.

"But shouldn't you tell me since I'm asking about you?"

Damn kid logic, thought Shay. Here goes nothing… "Well kid, love's love…" and Leslie launched into her story of being attracted to girls her whole life, didn't make her weird or worse than anyone else or better than anyone else, just different than most people. She gave up a little too much information on the whole trying to date high school boys, but she figured Kelly would thank her later, the whole killing two birds with one stone thing.

"So, you got any questions?"

Javi had so many questions he didn't know where to start. He shook his head no instead settling back into the puzzle he was working on. He didn't know grown-ups did puzzles. He hadn't seen too many in his short life, but here was a huge one laid out on Shay's dining room table.

He narrowed an eye concentrating on the box, a puzzle piece between his tiny fingers. "Miss Holly _is _pretty," he said absentmindedly trying to force the piece into a spot it didn't go.

"You have very good taste, sir. I would have to agree with you on that one." Shay snatched the piece from his fingertips finding a better home for it in the far corner. She guessed Erin might not fully appreciate the puzzle they were doing - a Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover circa 1989 - but oh well. She felt pretty certain her best friend would wholeheartedly approve.

Shay had tried to gather some information from those piercing Kelly eyes when she swung by to pick up the little guy after a 911 text saying he needed to talk to his wife alone. They didn't look like they were fighting, so that added to the mystery. She was also pretty sure that Javi had a wonderful new home with a mom and a dad and a white picket fence out front, so what he was doing at the Severide homestead was beyond her. She kept peeking at her phone knowing there hadn't been one telling buzz, but she couldn't help anxiously checking it every few minutes.

"So are you visiting Mr. Kelly today? Baseball practice?" Shay asked watching as her guest visibly tensed up. She figured it was her turn to do some questioning, "Did something happen?"

Javi's brown eyes filled up as his too small frame launched into her lap. He divulged the whole story of how Mr. Frank liked his drinks, liked to hit things, little seven-year-old things, how Miss Evelyn would camp out in her bedroom locking her door no matter how many times he knocked on it. He told how Mr. Kelly came to save him and "knocked Mr. Frank's lights out" with hero worship lighting up his eyes, and finally he said he thought Miss Erin was going to make him leave.

"I can be better, Miss Shay. I promise. Maybe if you talk to Miss Erin, she won't wanna get rid of me."

"Oh, baby, Erin doesn't want to get rid of you." Shay pulled Javier in tighter, his skinny arms squeezing her arms. If those damn Severides don't take this one, I'm claiming him, she thought with a smile, picturing Holly's face. She could see that skeptical look matching her fiery red hair.

"Erin talks about you all the time, J. She's gonna be a part of your life forever," Shay said, lifting his face up to hers.

"They won't lose me. I'll stay close, I promise," Javi pleaded, his big brown eyes spilling over with seven years of dashed hopes and heartache.

"They know you're a good boy. Kelly says you're the best kid he knows. They're not afraid you'll run off." Shay's heart was breaking, searching for the right words, thinking her best friend owed her a hell of a lot more than a drink. This called for a full on bar crawl.

"But I heard Miss Erin saying she lost the baby. I know it wasn't her fault. I bet someone took the baby."

Shay was at a loss, what to say? What would Kelly want her to reveal to the little boy? She settled on the truth.

"J, Erin and Kelly's baby isn't _lost_," she struggled over wording, "he, uh, died…" Another long pause filled the air. "They are really, really sad about it. They're trying to get happy again, but..."

Javi didn't let her finish her sentence, just squeezing tighter. Leslie held the little boy for a long while, knowing hugs must've been few and far between at the crack house he called home. Once the crying ebbed slightly, Shay pushed him off her lap a little, making a move to get up.

"Okay, enough of this," she said wiping her own eyes. "I say ice cream before dinner. But no snitchin' on me. Got it?"

Javi shook his head yes, a smile back on his face. Puzzle pieces were falling into place for the young boy tonight beyond the puzzle lying on the table.

* * *

_If you don't keep this kid, he's mine._

The text from Shay came right after Erin agreed to talk to Javi's caseworker to test the waters, see if they'd even qualify as adoptive parents. A couple, both with dangerous jobs couldn't look good to the DCFS. Erin figured they'd have a better shot at fostering first then maybe work into the actual adopting, so many ifs, and the biggest one was her ability to be a mom. Thunderous doubts rattling in Erin's brain, unfamiliar territory all brought on the minute the doctor in the ER announced she was pregnant, never leaving, magnifying and spreading into her soul.

She could see Kelly's worried eyes after her Harrison-induced accident, that worry compounded when the doctor came in with a look saying something was up. But how Kelly had gone from fear to elation with those "You're pregnant" words.

The hope he exuded, the calendar, the outfits, just the damn smile … all trampled with a slip on the ice. Now, the look was back and it scared Erin. She knew she couldn't live up to that hope.

"Shay says she's keepin' Javi," Kelly said breaking the spell Erin was in, and there was all that hope again, crooked grin in place and eyes shining.

"I think she's gonna have a fight on that one," Erin answered.

Kelly was all talk and plans and excitement … "We gotta go shop tomorrow, we left all his shit at that asshole's house, and his room needs some work."

"One thing at a time, Kel. Let me call the social worker, Mrs. Sandoval, tomorrow and get this thing going. Maybe Shay can drive you around. It doesn't all have to be done in 24 hours."

"I know, babe. Just wanna make him feel like he's home. You shoulda seen the guy, what a piece of sh…" Kelly rubbed his neck absentmindedly.

"Slow down, hero. I need you to take care of yourself first. We're calling Stinson. I wanna make sure you didn't do anything when you laid the guy out."

"Yeah, whatever. Hey, I can call Benny and get all my old Cubs stuff, you know, from my room. He's probably got the shit in some box somewhere, right?" he asked thinking about his grandmother's ring tossed thoughtlessly in a pile of crap, between some lace doilies and ceramic knick knacks. The ring Erin wore every day.

"What about you see your surgeon and do nothing all day? Will you do that for me?"

The dimples and those hazel eyes were working their magic this time. Kelly would've agreed to almost anything. He'd gotten Erin to give in, didn't happen much, but he'd done it. He walked over to her, pushing her hair to the side, kissing her neck softly.

"Oh, no way, Kelly. You can keep it in your pants because that is not happening tonight," Erin insisted pushing her husband away gently, her raspy laugh ringing out.

"That is definitely happening tonight," he growled moving in closer, his lips lingering at her lips. "We'll be careful," he pleaded, bringing his wet mouth on hers.

"Oh, God," she moaned, his hands moving down her back. "Damn you, Severide."

Kelly laughed, two wins in one night. New record. "Try not to hurt me this time," he teased, pulling them both to the floor.


	22. Chapter 22

**Yes, the last chapter was a shorty. Here's another to hold you over. Have a great week!**

* * *

"I don't know how to get through to you, Mr. Severide," Dr. Stinson's normally stoic exterior had broken way to an agitation highlighted by the tapping of his pen on a clipboard. "You can't be feeling good, and I know you aren't as pain free as you're claiming." He exhaled deeply, pen stopping. "Kelly," he finally said.

Shit.

"You have to take it easy. I can tell you don't do anything easy, but you have to. If you have any hopes of making it back to that job of yours, you have to."

Kelly nodded his head yes, looking down, letting the words sink in. If? There wasn't any damn if, was there? A little boy he'd insisted could only stay one night had kept him preoccupied, far away from doubts of getting back to 51. The punching out of Mr. Frank had felt so good, so right, Kelly couldn't believe it had done anything to his back.

"You moved everything a bit, and at this point nothing needs to be moved at all," the doc had said, reproving look still plastered on his face. "I don't need to go back in. Yet. But you keep this up and I will and we won't be talking about you gettin' back to work, we'll be discussing if you'll be be able to walk again."

Stinson sent Kelly home with new prescriptions for pain, for swelling, and for sleep. He crumpled them in his hand, throwing them against the passenger side window. Shay was supposed to be playing driver, but he called her off saying Clarke was filling in. A lie. The fireman sat for a long while in the quiet of that old bucket of bolts, the reality of Stinson's words still resonating. The fiery pain starting in his neck and now shooting down his back speaking words of its own, saying that all his talk of coming back, making it back… that could also be a lie.

* * *

Erin finally got a break in the Traviani case, if you could even call it that. When they'd reported back to Voight that all signs pointed the boy committed suicide, he wasn't satisfied. He sent them away saying not to leave any stone unturned.

"We've looked under every goddamn stone," Halstead grumbled slamming his door.

"Searched for every needle in the haystack," Erin added, holding back a grin.

"Gone through the evidence with a fine-tooth comb," Jay smiled.

"Uh, searched … high heaven?"

"Weak, Lindsay, weak. No chance of me driving, is there?"

"Not a chance," Erin answered, revving the engine.

"So, who's this loser again?" asked Lindsay, mind not really on the case, a fireman's appointment darkening her thoughts.

"Don't really know, friend of a friend of dead kid," Halstead commented looking at his notes in his phone.

"Chase," corrected Erin.

They pulled in front of the little coffee shop, Jay snickering at the angsty looks of the barely 20-somethings coming and going from the hole in the wall. Erin shook her head in silent agreement wondering how a place could convey a "woe is me" feel just from the front facade. Lindsay stepped in the crowded shop, the strong smell of coffee emanating from within. She almost smiled, almost. Her eyes darted straight to a corner table where a familiar face waited. The place was packed, somehow she knew he was the one they were there to see.

Phil, the wannabe zen-like, small time drug dealer, was trying to keep his heavy lidded eyes open. Erin was bowled over with the sight of him. Dreadlocks a little longer and dirtier, face slightly fuller, but, yes, it was definitely Phil. Flashes of Dr. Moerchen flooded in, the sprint, the slide, that fall. Erin grabbed Jay's arm to steady herself.

"Hey, go wait outside. I got this," he said looking into her eyes, that military steel taking over.

"No, I'm fine." Erin marched toward Phil who was now up smiling, as if greeting a long lost friend.

"Long time no…"

"Cut the shit and sit down," barked Halstead, pointing at the seat the man had just risen from.

"How you are not locked away in some cage is a fact I'm lookin' to change. So spill it. Whatcha got on Chase Traviani?" Jay was on his A-game, one that Erin had forgotten he had.

By the time he was done with Phil, a story of prescription drugs, booze, and prostitutes emerged that would have Senator Traviani cursing the day she got Hank Voight involved in her son's death.

"Well, that was not what I was expectin'." Halstead shook his head wishing the team had left well enough alone.

"No, it seems Chase had some demons," Erin added, her mind swirling with the tale of male prostitutes and drugs … and one name popping up over and over, Dr. Moerchen.

"You okay?" asked Jay taking the keys out of Lindsay's hand.

"I don't know," she answered honestly.

* * *

Aunt Shay stepped in and up again, entertaining her favorite little man. She let herself into the apartment, eyes scanning for a sign of how it had gone. Prescriptions on the counter and her friend sitting on the couch wearing a grumpy look and a large neck brace.

"J, go to your room for a minute," she said quietly, pushing him down the hall.

He did a U-turn and rushed over to Kelly. "What did your doc say, Mr. Kelly? You good to go like you said?" Javi was on the couch perched right up on his hero.

"Yeah, kid, I'm good to go. Doc gave me the okay to take you to baseball. We're gonna get that room 'o yours in shape too, paint it, get new furniture," Kelly was smiling now, waving his arm so Shay'd come sit on his other side.

"I like the color my room is now," Javi said, eyes not leaving the brace. "Why're you wearing that thing? You said it didn't do a damn thing."

"Hey, language. And it makes Erin happy when I wear it, so I'm gonna give it a try."

"It looks good," Javi agreed, nodding at Shay.

"Yep," Leslie said. "Hey, J, will you go check out your room, make sure you wanna keep it the same color. I was thinkin' a dark blue might be nice."

He didn't want to leave Kelly's side, but the fireman gave him one of those serious face looks that told him to scat. He scurried down the hall stopping shy of his new room, putting his face against the wall as if it gave him the ability to hear better.

"So what did Dr. Stinson say, for real, Kel?" Shay whispered, hand already clasped in Severide's.

"Said I need to take it easy, didn't do any real damage punching that asshole. That's about it."

"Then why do you have that look on your face?" Shay asked. "Like you're not married to the second best looking girl in the world? Like you don't have the chance to be a dad to the best seven-year-old in the world? Like you don't have the most caring, gorgeous, considerate, and funny best friend in the universe?" Leslie poked Kelly in the ribs, laughing.

Severide chuckled but didn't answer, that fact not lost on the blonde one.

"Mr. Kelly," Javi said from around the corner. "I'm a little hungry," he added turtling his head out from the hallway.

"Let's get you something to eat then, kid, C'mon," Kelly said getting up. "You have to feed him, Shay. He's like a fish. Give him food," he teased.

"Miss Shay fed me," Javi said. "We had cookies and ice cream, we were getting to the healthy stuff later, but then we got shakes on the way here."

"You have got to be shitti…" Leslie mumbled, shooting a look at the formerly sweet kid now running her over with a bus.

"Language," Kelly laughed. "So how come you're still hungry? Sounds like you ate enough junk for three people."

Javi just lifted his shoulders. Truth be told he was stuffed, but he wanted to hear what was going on. He hadn't known the fireman very long, but he could tell something was up. He'd been an observer for most of his seven years, seeing too much for his little boy eyes, knowing things he had no business knowing.

Shay thought about stopping Kelly from making whatever he was attempting in the kitchen, but she stopped herself. She had the feeling he needed to do it, to make this kid dinner.

"Sorry, Miss Shay," Javi said as they sit at the dining room table. Those big brown eyes staring into her big blue ones.

She shook her head, clearing her throat. "It is bro code, J. You do NOT give up your bud. You are my bud, right?"

He shook his head yes. "I felt like we were keepin' something from Mr. Kelly."

"Kid," called the fireman. "It's time to stop callin' me mister. Just Kelly or Severide… or whatever, but no damn mister. Okay?"

Javi shook his head again. "You should call me J.P., Mr. Kel, I mean Kelly."

"Wait, what?" Severide asked, putting down a spoon, walking over to the table.

Javi felt like he'd done something wrong, not sure what to say. "B-but you can call me Javi or Javier if you want. I, uh, like it…" his small, soft voice trailed off. It was that waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"This whole time your name's J.P. and you - you…" Kelly's bewildered expression filled the room, followed with Shay's laughter.

Javi, or J.P., joined in with Kelly just holding up his hands, that same confused look muddled with a small grin now.

"Kayla said I was a J.P. from the second she saw me," the little boy added, feeling the gazes on him turn more puzzled.

"Who's Kayla?" Shay asked between laughs.

"She's my sister," J.P. answered, met with a sudden silence.


	23. Chapter 23

**Thanks to all my regulars and new readers for the love and reviews! This one's been hard to keep going with Haas putting a nail in the Linseride coffin every chance he gets. Trying to stay inspired with my favorite couple. Hope you enjoy this one!**

* * *

The search for Kayla began the next day with Erin and Voight charging in and through every lead, breaking down doors, and barreling over any seemed that by some snag in the system, the brother and sister had been split up and even given different social workers. Mrs. Sandoval didn't know a sister existed.

"You have got to be kidding me," she sighed when Erin told her about Kayla. "And another reason this is the most frustrating job on the planet." The red tape, the utter chaos, all in what seemed like a deterrent to actually helping kids was getting to the DCFS veteran. If a couple like the Severides couldn't just adopt Javier, was being made to jump through hoops to foster him, then there was something seriously wrong with this system she'd been working for 15 years.

A deep feeling of unease that she couldn't quite name washed over Erin. Kayla, we're coming for you she thought more determined than ever to make this a quick search and rescue.

In about two hours, they discovered that she wasn't lost in some foster home although the paperwork pointed in that direction. A Voight interrogation at the girl's last stop revealed she had been gone for some time. Those checks were still rolling in so the couple kept mum on the little girl who was swooped up in the dead of the night by someone claiming to be her mother. Erin was relieved the eleven-year-old wasn't out on the streets. She was with her mom. That couldn't be as bad as living on the streets, she thought. A new fear rose from inside as thoughts drifted to her own mom.

"We've gotta find her, Hank," she said as they hopped in his car.

"We will, kid. Promise," he answered running a quick hand along her arm.

* * *

'You've gotta come in, the guys need to see you, Kel," Shay whined using everything she had, the wide eyes, the smile, the years of friendship and favors stored dropped by the apartment, "in the neighborhood" she claimed. Now she was standing a few feet away from her friend, body pointing toward the door, ready to lead the way out.

Kelly sat in a dining room chair, a mountain of pills waiting to be taken.

He didn't want to go in, didn't want the guys seeing him like this. But there was a tiny voice screaming at him saying he'd been away too long, he needed to make sure everything was running smoothly. He secretly wanted to see that things weren't going so well, that they still needed him.

"I'm not ready," he said firmly, not giving any wiggle room for arguing. At least not with anyone else. Shay was not ready to give in.

She thrust a bagel in his face as a sort of bribe. "Well, I think you are. I know you are. You've been miserable, J's the only one who can get a smile out of you. I miss that smile… C'mon…" she pleaded, a huge smile spreading on her face. She knew she was losing, but not throwing in the towel yet.

"Give it up," he said taking a bite.

"Because you want to just stay in. Again. Like you do every day?" Shay's shift in tone wasn't lost on her best friend.

"I can't drive, still. So, yeah, Shay, I'm stayin' in. Again." Kelly's eyes narrowed as he waited for the response. Somewhere in that thick skull he knew she was pressing out of love or some misguided attempt to cheer him up.

"Well, why don't you just let us wheel you up to the home and drop you off then?" Shay's arms were crossed and face set in that I'm not backing down look.

"Shay," Kelly started in protest. "Shay," he repeated voice almost inaudible.

"Kel. It's gonna be alright," Leslie unfolded her arms taking the two steps toward her friend. "It is." She took Kelly's face in her hands, bringing him in tight, trying to squeeze some belief in there. She felt a tightening in her stomach thinking she knew what his answer was going to be.

"Dammit," he sighed. "Let's go."

They pulled up to a small crowd gathered for the lieutenant, a sea of smiles and light pats awaiting. Kelly stepped uneasily away from his best friend to greet his 51 family.

"Well it's about time you showed up," Hermann enthused, punching Kelly on the arm. "Ugly runs this place like a damn beauty shop. Your guys are getting soft," he whispered with a conspiratorial tone.

"You do know I'm right here?" asked Clarke surprised to see his friend show up. He'd been trying for weeks to drag his ass in to no avail. He knew he didn't have the pull of the blonde by Severide's side, no one would have that leverage. Something about those two.

Another blonde came to the front... "Hey buddy," Casey said bringing Kelly into a hug. "You good?" he asked.

"All good," Severide said a little too quickly. "Yep, all good."

"I need your ear later, if you don't mind," Matt said in a hushed tone.

"Ah, hell. That doesn't sound good," Kelly laughed knowing it had something to do with his friend's fiancee and all those spiraling out of control wedding plans.

Severide settled in, briefly scanning his truck, his table, his equipment. He walked over to the back, spying one of his rescue saws on a table in disarray, someone had been piecing the thing back together. He inched closer to it running his hand along the handle.

"Don't you worry about that lieutenant. I'll have that thing running before you even make it back," Mills said with the eagerness of a puppy.

Clarke shot him a look.

"I mean, it's fixed… uh, just gotta put it back together. So it'll be done and good as new tomorrow," Pete muttered, words tumbling out of his mouth. "Not that you're not coming back… uh, I mean soon. Just didn't think you were comin' back by tomorrow," he nervously laughed.

Everyone just stared at the young squad member.

"Nope, Mills. I ain't comin' back tomorrow," Kelly broke the silence, laughing, patting him on the back. "So are we gonna eat or what?" he asked walking in toward the dining room.

Lunch was filled with the chatter of competing voices, Hermann bragging about his latest season of coaching exploits, berating Kelly for not signing J.P. up for hockey.

"Hey, the kid has an arm. I'm just sayin' that for bein' so little, he can throw," Severide perked up considerably while talking about the young boy.

"Okay, dad, calm down," Hermann teased. "We all think we got the latest Verlander…"

_Truck 81, Ambulance 61, Squad 3…_

The familiar call that seemed like a dream rang out, a pounding of boots, piling on of gear, and shuffling in trucks clattered throughout. Kelly wanted nothing more than to jump into one of those trucks, to feel the heat of a fire on his face.

The sounds of hustle and bustle gave way to the sound of… nothingness. An almost empty house with Kelly sitting at the dining room table, pushing his food around with a fork. His eyes grew darker before Shay's own eyes. This was a bad idea, she thought.

The only thought in Kelly's head was one of life going on, people moving forward… of his house not needing him. His squad doing just fine without him. Better than fine.

* * *

"What do you mean you can't find her?" Kelly asked, angry that a system put in place to help kids had lost one. Angry at much more than that.

"Can you keep your voice down," Erin hissed knowing little ears were listening. "I don't want J.P. worrying."

The screaming match continued with Kelly finally storming off to J.P.'s room, laying on the floor beside the little boy's bed.

"You awake?" he whispered, knowing the answer.

"Uh huh."

"We're gonna find your sister. I promise you, bud. You believe me?" Kelly asked, rolling on his side. J.P.'s face hung over the side of his bed now.

"Yes, sir," the little boy answered, his large brown eyes rimmed in red.

"Go to sleep now and try not to worry," Kelly commanded, rolling back over, knowing worry was this kid's middle name. His night was another restless dance of rolling one way, then the other, trying to find some position that would stop the incessant pain in his neck. That pain that was becoming Kelly's enemy, one he couldn't shake. He knew he was in trouble when he didn't remember what it felt like to have that enemy gone, to feel good and strong. To feel like himself.

He dozed off and on, finally getting a couple hours of sleep, waking early with a sweaty little body next to his and a small hand resting lightly on his shoulder. He couldn't help but smile looking at the boy on the floor next to him, the shock of black hair still neatly in place. He thought about picking him up but settled on covering J.P. with the comforter before heading into his bedroom.

"It's about time," whispered Erin as he eased into bed.

"Sorry, babe. I was an ass," Kelly admitted, kissing her on the forehead, smoothing the back of her hair.

"No argument on that one," she answered hoarsely, sleep evading her as well.

Kelly smiled, feeling her bare legs now swung over his, her hand running up his arm, landing on his cheek.

"I'll find her," Erin said.

"I know you will." He kissed her again, letting his tongue run along the corners of her mouth. "Now go to sleep. You've gotta work tomorrow."

"Not goin' in. Figured I'd go get that damn girl, could use your help, hero," she said, running her hand along his chest.

Kelly caught her hand in his, moving it lower. "Whatever you want," he said, eyes closed.

"I want a lot," she rasped out, her hand feeling that she wasn't alone in that.

Erin rolled on top of her fireman, straddling him, pinning his arms in her hands. He tried to push her over, to get to work, a work he loved.

"No," Erin resisted, staying on her man. She'd gotten the text from Shay after the blow out, her frustration giving way to an understanding.

"You know I need you, right?" Erin asked, running her tongue along Kelly's neck, ending in a kiss on his chest.

"Mmmm," he moaned. thoughts of the guys at 51 trying to fall away. The only thought was of the woman on top of him, of how much he needed her. The unspoken words of that need expressed in the transparent emotion flitting across his face. The face that Erin could read so well.

* * *

"So you couldn't have dirtied up the truck a bit? I don't know, given him something to fix?" Cally asked, hurriedly running her hand through her hair, brush nowhere to be found.

"If I would've had a head's up, I coulda made the place look like hell. But Shay shows up outta the blue…called fifteen minutes before..." Clarke answered pouring two cups of coffee, one in a to-go mug.

"We know you run a tight ship, cowboy, but I don't know, kick over a hose," Cally laughed, taking her cup, kissing her man on the cheek.

"Those don't really kick over," Jeff replied, grabbing her around the waist.

"Tangle it, whatever." Cailin took in those blue eyes, drawing in a deep breath. "Gotta go, Jeff," she said reluctantly.

"Dead kid drama?" he asked, taking in his own breath.

"On hold. I'm off the clock today, helping Erin track down J.P.'s sister. We're dragging Severide around with us," she added, topping off her cup. "Should be fun," she said, a joyless smirk on her face.

"Hmm," Clarke grew quiet.

"What? Spill it."

"You need to find that girl, babe," he began slowly. Cally raised a knowing eyebrow. "And the more Severide thinks he helped, the better." Jeff said finally.

"And that is why we are dragging his ass with us. All because you couldn't tangle a hose," she teased, letting him take her back in his arms.

"Be gentle, he's not himself." Clarke kissed her firmly on the mouth.

"He hasn't been himself for a while… and Severide and I do not do gentle," she snorted, pushing away again, another Erin text coming in. Tough love, that was what he needed. No more Erin kid gloves. Cally was bound and determined to get Kelly back on track if she had to drag him that last mile herself.

"Kiss me, Marine. I love you. Be safe." She was already on the phone, texting, muttering something on her way out..

"Love you," Clarke called after her.

* * *

"Who would've thought tracking down a crack whore would take all day," grumbled Cally, fielding a text from Ruzek, another lead.

"What if Kayla's not even with her mom. What's the next plan of attack?" asked Kelly, used to seeing three exits out of a situation, a burning building, a submerged car.

"She's with her," Erin stated flatly as they rolled up to a dilapidated high rise in Englewood, a project some fire stations wouldn't enter willingly, one that Chicago's finest wouldn't go into without backup. Erin spied the building that looked like a tower of drugs, guns, and gangs, thinking of all those steps waiting for the trio.

"You two stay here. I'll take a look and radio if I get a hit," the brunette said, opening her door.

"Bullshit," Kelly answered opening his door.

"I'll go up and you two lovebirds can argue it out," Cally stated joining her friends outside the car.

"No, I need you to make sure this one stays put," Erin said to Cailin, the pleading look in her eyes not lost on the blonde.

Kelly's face contorted in a grimace of pain also not lost on Cally. "You are not making it up those stairs," she told him shaking her head. "I'm on babysitting duty. Erin, find out if she's there and get out."

"Wasn't planning on lunching with the ladies," Lindsay replied, dimpled grin on her face.

"Such a ray of freaking sunshine Callahan," Kelly mumbled, leaning against the car.

"Spreading those rays, hero. And it's Clarke," she corrected, joining him against the car.

They waited a good five minutes that felt more like forty to the fireman. "How long are we just sittin' here?"

"She just said she's up on three, you wanna head over? We should make it to the door by the time she heads back down."

"Why are you ridin' my ass today, Cally? Did Clarke say somethin' to you?" Kelly asked, narrow eyes flashing a familiar anger. He began shuffling down the walkway toward the building.

"No. I just think it's time to finish this thing. Quit moping around and recover already. Turn that corner and do it, Kelly. We all know you can," Cailin tried softening the blow a little at the end.

The beginnings of anger were now dancing alive in those piercing blue eyes. "You think I wanna be like this?" he yelled. "I'm doing everything they tell me to. I haven't missed one PT session, not one!" They were heading up the flight of stairs, Kelly two handing it on the railing.

"Wanna know what I've gotten from all that PT?" he yelled again, turning to Cally who was behind him wondering if she had enough weight or strength to catch him if he fell. "Not a damn thing! I'm right where I started." He stopped abruptly sliding down to sit on on a step.

"Just hurt all the time," his voice trailing off, the fire gone. Cally didn't realize she'd been holding her breath as a certain degree of guilt washed over her. She sat next to him cursing herself for not listening to Jeff. Why do I not listen to that man 100 percent of the time?

In his eyes was a sadness and fear that did not say Kelly Severide. He was slumped over, head dropped in his hands. Cailin dropped an arm awkwardly around his shoulders.

"Don't," he said swinging it off.

Pop!

One shot rang out from their destination floor, the one Erin was on right now. Cally flew up the stairs, a fireman hot on her heels.

* * *

"Quit eating so damn much girl! You gotta get rid of all that baby fat. You're thick. Danny, you think she's thick, right?" Wendy asked swatting her daughter on the rear as she scurried by.

"Nah, she's just right. Gotta keep that ripe ass. They like 'em with ass," the younger man answered as he looked through the barrel of his gun, a cheap .22 he traded one of his "girls" for. He licked his lips as the young girl rushed by, dollar store notebook clutched to her chest. Yes, she was gonna be a moneymaker, he thought, smiling. That dark hair, big beautiful eyes, still too young. But that was one thing none of them could outrun. Time. Her chest would hopefully fill out in the next year, she'd lose some of the chubby in her cheeks, and they'd be lining up outside the door.

It was really the only reason he kept the crack whore of a mom around. Wendy. Piece of work. Offering up anything and everything to suck on that crack pipe. Even her only daughter. Wendy, who looked 40 while her driver's license proclaimed 29. Wendy, this one having no connection to Neverland, no tie to anything except the drug she craved every waking moment, every sleeping moment.

"Kayla, come here baby," Danny called, stretching a skinny white arm in the direction of the girl.

She took a hesitant step toward the man who could be friendly charm one minute, violent and venomous the next. "Come here baby girl," he said, his brown teeth showing years of drug use and neglect.

Kayla froze in place, nervously pushing the mane of dark wavy hair out of her eyes, pressing her notebook tighter to her chest.

"Get your ass over there! Vamanos!" Wendy screamed between hits on the pipe."Her dad was the same way. Slow as shit. That huge family and not one of 'em could help us out when he left us." She mumbled something inaudible, fading away into the ecstasy she called home.

The gun went off without warning, bullet planting itself innocuously in the dingy wall by the patio window. Wendy laughed hysterically, finding the accidental shot hilarious. Danny joining in once he saw Kayla was in one piece.

"Chicago PD! Open up!" Erin pounded on the door, trying the knob. Locked. "Open up, now!" She shuffled back to a darkened recess of a wall that once held a vending and ice machine, now just giving off the smell of urine. She was on the radio calling in the cavalry, hoping Cailin and Kelly heard nothing, would stay in her car. Her fears escalated when Cally popped up by her side.

"You okay? Almost didn't see you back here," Cailin asked breathlessly. "Someone take a shot at you?"

"No, it went off inside. I feel like she's in there," Erin answered, eyes going from the door to the stairwell. "Where's Kelly?" she asked.

"He was right behind me." Cailin had felt him brush up against her shoulder, didn't notice when he took a left as she took a right, didn't see as he smiled and flirted his way into the apartment next door.

* * *

Kelly was perched on the outside railing of the adjacent patio, surveying the jump, telling himself it was more of a step than an actual jump. He let go, throwing himself onto the metal bars in front of him, clearing it easily. He hopped over, crouching down to peer inside the sliding glass door.

* * *

Always the hero, you know? But that's why we love him. What do you think?


	24. Chapter 24

**Thanks again for all the reviews and faves. My regulars - love ya! My newbies - so much fun gaining some new readers to this third installment of my Linserideland. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Kelly knew he was staring at Kayla … those J.P. eyes, that hair. She was older, bigger, but she was definitely a female J.P. His chest tightened, the urgency of the situation settling in. He had to act. Now. A scrawny man in oversized jeans and dirty T-shirt had a gun pointed at the front door, at his wife. A woman was sprawled out on the couch flying so high, Kelly doubted she knew she was on planet Earth. Kayla was hunched over in a fetal-like position on the side of the couch, in his direct sight line. He reached a hand up and pulled on the door. It wouldn't budge. Kayla was staring right at Kelly through a tuft of black hair falling over both eyes.

* * *

Erin realized it wouldn't take Kelly that long to get up there. He was near, she could feel it. But where? She had the sense he was in that apartment but there was no way. "Where the hell is he?" she said aloud.

Cailin answered by pounding on the door wondering what was taking so long for their backup to arrive. She'd figured out where Severide was … those line of patios greeting them as they rolled up, the fireman approach of always having two ways in or out, that backup plan he'd brought up earlier. She settled her breathing, staying calm for her friend who hadn't put the pieces together yet. Cally didn't want to push in that last piece herself, the one that gnawed at her gut saying she may have played a part in him maybe hanging off a damn patio right now. She was pounding again, losing her voice, when she felt the pulse of footsteps before she actually heard them.

Ruzek and Antonio stormed up the steps holding the Enforcer, a small battering ram packing a mighty punch. Voight right behind. He barked out orders and before Erin could put two and two together, before Cally could wonder if she'd somehow pushed Kelly into action, they were in the living room … met with silence.

* * *

Kelly held a finger to his lips and motioned for the girl to unlock the sliding glass door. She got up slowly, clutching that notepad as if it were her lifeline. For a second he thought she was going to dart down the hall but instead she flipped the lever on the lock and started to open the glass.

"Yesss! That's my girl!" Danny yelled, glancing at the retreating girl, his attention scattered from the door to the patio. He backed up, gun raised like he'd seen in so many movies, inching his way toward Kayla and his escape.

He didn't see Kelly crouched down behind a rotted out barbecue pit, now a dumping ground for needles and trash. He didn't see the fireman rise up, fists balled. Danny's wide eyes were on the front door as it came crashing in, a mass of police swarming through. He did turn around in time to see a fist smash into his cheekbone, snapping it like some delicate china, before everything went black.

* * *

Erin rushed over to Kayla who grabbed the detective's legs, sandwiching her notebook in between chest and thigh. Lindsay smoothed a hand over the dark hair wanting the girl to keep her face down, not see the commotion of a just coming to Danny being led away or an incoherent Wendy lashing out violently. Voight finally had enough, dragging the woman down the stairs, adding to the trail of purple bruises skipping along her too skinny legs. Erin couldn't believe she didn't call out for her daughter, didn't give one thought to the girl currently clutching her legs. The whole place smelled like cat piss, turning the detective's stomach. She tried prodding Kayla in the direction of her husband, but the kid wasn't budging.

Kelly was shaking out his hand, taking an earful from Cally, but looking none the worse for wear.

"And what gave you the freaking idea that leap frogging patio to patio would be a good idea?" Erin could hear Cailin's voice go higher and higher with each cascading reprimand. "Are we sure you didn't land on your head at some point? They have checked that out, right?"

Kelly tried to cut in but was cut off at every pass. He finally decided to cross his arms and wait.

"Please tell me this did not have anything to do with me getting on you earlier," she whisper screeched, hoping her words hadn't instigated the rescue that ended up a success but could've been disaster. She didn't need anymore Catholic guilt, she'd had enough of that to last a lifetime. Jeff reminded her of that daily, sometimes hourly.

"Say something, Severide!"

"You done?" Kelly asked, matching her low tone, one that Erin was straining to hear. "Instinct kicked in Callahan. That was it. Had to do somethin,' so I did it."

"That is the most incredibly stupid macho bullshit I've ever heard," Cally yelled, to hell with the hushed tones. "And it's Clarke! And you know who would have been dealing with the aftermath of scraping you off the pavement? Me! And that one…" she added, voice trailing off as they both looked at Erin with an attached little girl still affixed to her legs.

"It ain't always about you, Callahan," Kelly said punctuating each syllable of her name, grin spreading across his face as he made his way to his wife.

"I'm done," she said dropping down to Kayla's level, her tone changing instantly. "Sweetie, let's get you out of here."

"Why doesn't she ever use that voice with me?" questioned Kelly holding his now free wife.

"God, Kel. Please tell me you did not do what I think you did," Erin said, burying her head in his chest, not caring that a barrage of cop eyes were watching her.

Dawson carefully bagged some pictures of young girls splayed across a beat up coffee table littered with saucers overflowing with cigarette butts, Ruzek was busy clearing his throat.

"Don't need a lecture, babe. Cailin ripped me a new one, I'm good."

"Tell me you're okay," Erin slipped her hand in Kelly's and squeezed.

"I'm okay. Now let's go make sure the kid is okay." Those pictures, the sad excuse for a mother, the drugs scattered throughout the place, this was a hell no child should have to experience. The only saving grace, the look on J.P.'s face when they brought his sister home. Right now he needed to see that face.

* * *

Cally was feeding the girl a squished granola bar she'd scavenged from her purse when her friends made it to Erin's car.

"This one is an artist," Cailin commented stepping out of the car, giving Kayla a quick rub on the shoulder before moving that hair out of her eyes.

Erin saddled into the warm seat, asking to take a look at the notebook that was firmly closed.

Kelly lingered back to see what Cally'd gathered… "She's quiet, way quieter than Javi. Been through a lot but I'd say she didn't catch the worst of what we saw going on up there." Severide let out a deep breath, relief bringing a little calm. He was still on the high of a high rise rescue.

"Well, get in there," she demanded, pushing his arm.

Being ordered around by one woman or another, Kelly thought with a smile, ready to slide into the backseat.

"Hey, we are good, right?" Cally asked before he got in.

"Yeah, we're good Callahan," Kelly replied. "I mean, cupcake." He slammed the door chuckling, particularly pleased with his joke.

"So who's ready to go see her brother?" the fireman's smile was waiting for two matching ones to join his.

"Kel, we hadn't really gotten there yet," Erin said, her eyes telling him he just messed up. His smile gone.

"You… have J.P.?" Kayla whispered before bursting into tears.

* * *

Kelly tried to start up a conversation, only to be shut down. He watched as Kayla set her jaw tight, and a look of distrust spread further across her features. The little girl could sense those fireman piercing blues on her. She closed her eyes, feeling the tears flowing down her face and hating herself all the more.

"Kayla, Kayla, Kayla!" J.P.'s voice was reaching a heard by dog's only level. He ran at his sister as she came through the door knocking her over, his little body landing on top. She grinned …the first time they'd gotten a smile out of the girl.

He stayed on top of her, foreheads touching. "I'm sorry, J.P. I'm so sorry," the little girl whispered wishing those two grown ups would leave them alone. There was so much to say but she didn't want to talk in front of them. So much to explain. The broken promise of getting him in a couple of days. It had been how many months?

Erin and Kelly stood hand in hand taking in the scene, swallowing down threatening tears of their own. J.P. clutched his sister like a rag doll, one he would never release. "I'm sorry J.P.," Kayla's voice was barely above a whisper, breaking before she could say anymore.

Watching a seven-year-old wipe his sister's tears from her cheeks, Kelly sucked in a deep breath, feeling a pride for this kid he had no part in raising, not till recently. He squeezed Erin's hand tighter watching her brush at her own cheek.

"J.P., why don't you take your sis to your room? I'll work on dinner and then we'll all talk. Okay? Kayla, we are really glad we found you." Erin was at a loss for words but wrangled up those few that sounded a little anorexic to her ears.

The little girl nodded and without a sound escaping to the bedroom, J.P.'s bedroom.

"Let me help you," Kelly said coming around to the back of his wife as she leaned over half in the fridge, scrounging for something to whip up.

"Hey, settle down hero," Erin said moving his hands off of her butt. She grabbed an ice pack from the freezer. "Sit, relax, and put your damn brace back on," she remarked, giving him a dimpled smile.

"This is gonna all work out, right babe? She seems so quiet, too quiet," Kelly asked sprawling on the couch, stomach down, ice in place.

"She's been through so much. It's for sure gonna be alright, more than alright. Might take some time, but … did you see J.P.'s face?" Erin asked, her own face brightening.

"Yeah, that was pretty damn cute," admitted Kelly. "She just seems sad, so different from J.P."

Erin nodded her head, knowing exactly who the little girl reminded her of. Herself. She'd had to hold it together when mom would go off the rails, drugs and alcohol taking priority over raising a daughter. Hell, I practically raised the woman thought Erin bitterly, pretty sure Kayla had been in the same boat.

"She'll come around… And where exactly is your brace? I'll get it. Where'd you leave it?" Erin asked drying her hands on a paper towel.

* * *

Kayla had gone from silent to a non-stop battery of questions, hitting J.P. with one after another.

"Kayla, I like it here. Mr. Kelly signed me up for baseball, we've been practicing," J.P.'s face lit up as he sputtered off all the little Kelly-isms he heard daily, "I've got a great arm, but gotta bulk up some, you know put some meat on my bones, and I can hit anything, Kelly's friends pitch to me and he won't let 'em go easy on me, no pansy pitches." The little boy's face was flushed with excitement.

"What about the wife?" Kayla ventured.

"Miss Erin takes good care of us," J.P. said simply. He wanted to tell his sister that Erin always made sure he had good food to eat, checked his homework, tucked him in. That she gave the best hugs. That she'd been more of a mom to him in the few months he'd known her than the ghostlike figure of Wendy. But J.P. could read his sister better than anyone, and he knew she didn't want to hear that right now.

Her brows knitted together further as the sound of Erin's voice resonated through the small condo.

"What the hell do you mean you lost it?" Erin yelled to her husband, still prone on the couch.

Kayla cracked the door to listen.

"Don't," admonished J.P.

"Ssshhh. Do they scream a lot?"

"They don't scream. And they always make up," J.P. answered, pushing the door shut just as they heard a fireman's words about throwing it to the ground from the balcony.

"Don't worry, we're getting out of here tonight," Kayla said taking in her brother, squeezing so tight, trying to squeeze those tears away.

* * *

Kayla remained silent at dinner, only speaking when asked a direct question. Erin explained the journey that led to fostering J.P. How they can't imagine life without him, J.P. blushing, keeping his heavily lashed eyes downward. Kelly interjected a few times to add their baseball adventures, talking strong arm for his size and knocking it outta the park.

"He told me," Kayla said quietly, the unimpressed look on her face like a dark cloud descending on the dining room table.

A silence hung over the four with Kayla finally breaking it.

"So why don't you have kids of your own?" she asked softly.

Erin gulped back the beginnings of tears, while Kelly cleared his throat. J.P. threw down his fork, "Kayla!" his eyes shooting daggers at his sister.

"Hey, it's okay," Kelly said to his little shadow. "It's a fair question. Uh…" he wasn't sure what to say, how much of it to tell. He kept it short knowing J.P. would fill in the blanks that night.

"We were going to have a baby, but it," he struggled. "Uh … our baby died." Kelly reached a hand out to grab Erin's.

"God, Kayla!" J.P. yelled, the closest to cursing he'd come since moving in. The anger in his face unfamiliar.

"Hey. It's all good," Kelly said, his other hand grabbing the little boy's.

Kayla watched as her brother's hand took in the fireman's, as his eyes still flashed anger directed at her, as she felt like the one who didn't belong. It was definitely not all good.

* * *

"Do you have a backpack or something to put a few things in?" Kayla asked scrambling around his room, looking in the closet. "Start packing," she said dumping his books out on his bed, emptying his school pack.

J.P.'s fists were clenched tightly together, tears now threatening his eyes. "No Kayla, no," he said under his breath.

"C'mon, J.P. You know it's you and me. These people aren't for us." She was over at her brother's side, stroking his back.

"I'm not goin'," he said between cries, "no… no," he repeated shaking his head.

"What are you talking about? Let's get out of here," Kayla whispered.

"No… I, I'm stayin.' I love them Kayla," J.P. blurted out throwing his backpack on the floor, shaking, and facing his sister.


	25. Chapter 25

**Thanks for all the reviews! Fun to read and they really keep me going with this one in spite of ChiFi acting like Linseride never happened. To my regulars - glad you're still enjoying this and leaving me feedback. To the new readers - thank you for the kind words.**

* * *

Kayla resigned herself to the fact that J.P. had dug in for the long haul with these Severides, wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. She figured she'd wait it out, they'd disappoint him soon enough and then they could hit the road, just the two of them. Until that day she'd keep her head down and try to remain unnoticed. Not an easy task. The shopping trips for new clothes, the lunches with Erin, the baseball practices… she'd find herself cracking an unexpected smile, usually at a J.P. antic or a J.P. and Kelly antic.

She could see the couple cared about her kid brother but she also knew deep in her heart, they were subbing in J.P. for some lost baby, some child they couldn't have. Eleven years of disappointment in those she called family had taught her one thing - the only person she could ever rely on was herself. And her baby brother. The two of them. Forever.

Weeks swung by like the bat J.P. had grown so accustomed to, his baseball practices leaving them all ready to see some actual games. Kelly was full of advice but short on action. Kayla heard about him being a fireman but hadn't seen any evidence pointing in that direction. He'd tried to talk to her the first couple of weeks but seemed to give up on that, being shut down at every word. Good, thought Kayla, wanting to be invisible to the couple. Erin just wouldn't give up though.

"Kayla, get your purse. We're meeting Shay for lunch while the boys go to practice. We've had enough baseball for a while, right?" Erin's dimpled grin spreading across her face.

The little girl reached for her backpack doubling as a purse. She had all the essentials within- sketchpad, pencils, her latest book, change of clothes, toothbrush, and a couple of granola bars. Kayla wouldn't go anywhere without it, breaking Erin's heart every time she shuffled through to make sure everything was inside. Refusing to call it a backpack, escape sack, Erin insisted it was a "purse."

Shay was waiting impatiently shifting in the booth uncomfortably. She suggested the little deli with the huge sandwiches, now busy pushing a straw in and out of her Coke.

"So how is he?" the blonde asked, not wasting any time with a fake cheek kiss, just straight to business. Kayla could see why J.P. was in love with Shay, why he got all spacey eyed every time anyone mentioned her name. She was funny and beautiful. And real.

Erin glanced at Kayla who just rolled her eyes as if to say, just talk about whatever because I couldn't care less. She walked to the fountain drinks, leaving the two women alone.

"I don't know, Shay. He does everything Stinson tells him, but he's not any better. He's mad all the time, seems mad at me," Erin spilled it quickly, watching as Kayla was taking her time with the ice and deciding what to drink.

"He's not mad at you, I know that. He loves you, Erin," Shay said matter of factly, sighing heavily. "He told me he's been jumping down your throat about everything, feels terrible."

Erin realized that Kelly was talking to someone, it just wasn't her.

"Yeah, we aren't fighting in front of the kids anymore, go to the bedroom for that," Erin paused thinking they spent more time in the bedroom now and it wasn't for anything good.

"He told me. I don't know what to say, Erin," Shay admitted, telling her friend the same thing the night before. "He hurts and he's too stubborn to say anything, so he tries to suck it all down… and, well, it's just not working."

Kayla returned slurping loudly to let the pair know she was back. She knew they were talking about Kelly, Erin always got that look in her eyes. It was like she was in pain or something.

"So how's school? Do you like your teacher? Are the kids cool? Does the food suck?" Shay rattled off questions like a machine gun, reloading before Kayla had a chance to answer the first round. The young girl couldn't help but laugh.

Erin took off to the bathroom pulling out her phone on the way… Shay wanted to get the girl alone. "Sooo, how are things going with Erin and my Kel, for real?" she asked, eyebrows arched expectantly.

"M-kay," answered Kayla noncommittally, shoving another chip in her mouth.

"Just m-kay? C'mon what's been going on? Have you been treating my best friend right?" Shay pried.

Kayla shrugged her shoulders.

"I need you to do something for me," Shay whispered, causing the girl to draw in closer. "I told you that Kelly had a big operation, right?" Kayla nodded. "Well, I need you to kind of take care of him. But in a way he doesn't know you're doing it. Does that make sense?"

Kayla shrugged again not sure she knew what this crazy blonde meant.

"He's hurt, but like most men," Shay grunted, "he won't take help. And the thing is, he needs it. I don't mean anything big, but if you could get him a glass of water, snack, whatever, I think that would help Erin out a lot. You know, like pull your weight." They thought of a bunch of stuff he needed and all the things Kayla could do for him, Shay smiling at the fact it was as much for the little girl as it was for her friend.

Shay started something that day, started something that would cement two people together. Years later she would embellish the tale, still taking full credit for what became Kay &amp; K.

* * *

"Come on, Nicky! If you can't hit off that little runt, we should just run home right now… put on a goddamn skirt," the red-faced man mumbled under his breath, "that what ya want?"

Kelly'd been ignoring the dad for a good fifteen minutes, but his non-existent patience were gone. Replaced with a burning in his neck, slagging shoulders showing he was done for the day.

"You are kiddin' me?! That was a ball!" The man's face was even redder, Severide sure he was heading for a stroke or heart attack. Hoping one would strike about now.

J.P.'s team was practicing, going through drills when the team next in line to use the field started pushing their way on.

"We've got another 15 minutes boys," Coach Reeves yelled out at his guys, and halfway directing it to the other team trying to storm the field. Reeves had been in the game a long time, retired military, played for a minor league team before he realized the big leagues were never happening.

When the coach of the impatient team suggested an impromptu scrimmage, Reeves didn't see the harm. Then he spied a heavyset dad rush over to his kid, slapping him upside the head with a pair of hitting gloves. A few pounds heavier, a couple years older, but the coach knew who it was, Clint Hill. He'd coached the man's boy two years earlier, Nicholas… a giant of a five-year-old, looked more like seven or eight. But the dad was a piece of work, opinions on everything, never satisfied with the line-up, the calls, the field, the uniform, the coaching, the equipment, nothing was ever good enough. They'd parted ways, with Coach Reeves suggesting they never join up again. It'd been a helluva season, the winning record not quite worth all he'd put up with.

Now the scrimmage was in full swing with Clint in full swing. Kelly pushed himself out of the bleachers to move farther away from the man, but nowhere was out of earshot.

"Nicky, if you let that little runt strike you out again, you're walkin' home. Get your weight behind the bat. C'mon. Knock one down his throat!"

Kelly could see J.P. getting flustered, the little boy's confidence not needing this kind of hit. After the months of bolstering him up, Severide could see him deflating, returning to the shell that had showed up for a couple nights only, turning into a couple weeks, now a forever thing with the little one answering to son. Kelly relishing his role as dad. The only thing temporarily wiping away the pain of a broken neck and broken dreams of a return to firefighting.

Everyone was put out of their misery when Coach called the scrimmage.

"These pussycats don't want anymore," Clint yelled out to his boy who'd struck out once and hit a single his second time at bat.

"They're Wildcats," Kelly muttered heading down the bleachers, feet stomping heavily.

"Look like a bunch a kittens to me," snorted the obnoxious dad who was acting like his kid had just hit a homerun to win the Little League World Series.

Kelly bit the inside of his cheek tasting blood, his hands working imaginary stress balls. He took off J.P.'s cap to rustle his hair … "Hey, don't worry about that guy. You'll kick his ass in the regular season."

J.P. was fighting back tears, not wanting to disappoint Mr. Kelly, Kelly, dad.

"Send 'em cryin' that's the way to do it, Nicky," came booming across the field.

"A real man can look the other way, a bigger man," Kelly whispered, running his hand along J.P.'s back. He grabbed the little boy's hand, it given willingly.

"No cryin' in baseball. Ha! Right, Nicky?" Clint slapped his son on the back, walking quickly to catch up to the fireman.

"What's wrong with your dad?" Nicholas asked J.P. now matching his stride.

"That ain't his daddy. Gotta be some exchange program or charity case."

Kelly stopped, turning to face Clint, the fireman's eyes slits of blue, the furrow in his forehead burrowing a trail on his forehead. J.P.'s eyes were huge, his hand now yanking on Kelly's.

* * *

Erin saw the huge steak covering over half of J.P.'s face, the bag of peas resting on Kelly's eye and was at a loss. Kayla jumped in, "What… what happened?"

Her brother's smile matched by the man's sitting next to him. J.P.'s voice was full of excitement as he told of the ugly words slung his way, the "ignoring him because we're the bigger man, right, Kelly?" and the fireman getting punched in the face. Then J.P. getting punched in the face. "But it didn't even hurt, right Kelly?" And finally, the punches from the two on the couch to end the baseball debacle.

The grin on Kayla's face was enough to relax the churning in Erin's stomach. It was genuine, probably the first one she'd given since joining her brother in the Severide fold. She retrieved a bag of corn from the freezer, replacing the melting peas on Kelly's face like this was something she did everyday. Kayla squeezed in between the two boys holding her brother's hand.

"Thanks, K," Kelly said grabbing her hand, giving it a quick squeeze, surprised she didn't pull away.

* * *

The crumbling of the Kayla walls had been happening without anyone knowing. Every time Erin tucked in the two kids, all the baseball practices Kelly dragged himself to, the laughter at the dinner table, all the little things were forcing her to drop her guard, to let a smile appear, to accept a kind word. The "incident" on the baseball field turned out to be the clincher, showing Kayla that the old guy, J.P.'s instant dad was for real. She let herself accept the love the couple was giving, or at least some of it.

Kayla was doing everything she could to help out the fireman, taking Shay's words to heart. They were becoming a family.

But the cloud hanging over them was darkening. Months of a recovery that wasn't quite happening were taking their toll. The line between the truth and Kelly's dream of a squad return seemed to be widening. He felt like reality was closing in and he'd have to face it. Soon. He closed his eyes against the thought as he walked into the imaging center. Another MRI. Another letdown.

He lay in the hollow tube not moving, used to the confined space, accustomed to the haunting clanking. Kelly resisted drawing in a deep breath, not wanting to prolong his time in there with movement. He'd meet with Stinson in three days, bracing himself for more disappointment. Erin's warm arms circling around him, the only thing keeping him sane. J.P. keeping him moving, preventing him from giving in to those fleeting thoughts of getting some real pain relief. Of calling in some favors to escape inside the world he had stumbled into the last time he broke his neck. He had to be better this time. A little boy, his son, was counting on him. His sister more than counting on him. She needed him, needed Erin, needed a family and didn't even know it.

Now, Erin sat next to her man, a hand squeezing Kelly's thigh lightly. The words hung razor sharp between them. Dr. Stinson's words.

The ride home was silent, a couple of deep breaths from the fireman the only noise. The radio off, both lost in thoughts of months of more rehab. Months, maybe another year.

They walked up to the condo just as Shay dropped off J.P. and Kayla from school. Erin's look said now was not a good time for a full Kelly update. She left, worry furrowed in her brow, needing her redhead more than ever.

"How was school?" Erin asked absentmindedly, eyes still peeled on her husband. J.P. rattled on about a writing competition Kayla's teacher was making her enter. The newness of the student hadn't prevented Mrs. Mueller from noting the talent in the young girl.

"That's great, Kayla," Erin enthused, running her hand along the eleven-year-old's back. Kayla smiled tensely.

"I guess," she said not used to attention, dumping her backpack by the front door. She was watching Erin and Kelly, aware that something had happened. A not good something.

"You're gonna win. I know it!" J.P. wouldn't give up, his toothy white grin spreading to his eyes. He deposited his backpack by Kayla's, kicking his shoes off by the kitchen table. "Miss Eri, I mean mom, thinks you're gonna win too, right?" he asked, still not comfortable with the word mom. He loved the sound of it, but it would take more months before it rolled off his tongue like it had always been there.

"No, I don't _think_, I _know_," Erin started, her brows raising as Kelly found an old bottle of Jack tucked way back in the pantry. He poured himself a shot, draining it in one gulp. Three pairs of eyes watching. He poured another glass, taking it back to the table.

"Goddammit, J!" Kelly yelled tripping over one of J.P.'s shoes, dumping half the shot down the front of his shirt before catching himself with his free hand, it slamming down on the dining room table. "Your shit is everywhere!" he continued, words tumbling out with the frustration of the day.

J.P. ran back to his room with Kayla running after, but not before shooting Kelly a look that he thought he could feel. His gut tightened as he cursed himself, bringing the glass and the remaining liquid down on the table. Did he just demolish the small strides he'd made with the girl in a matter of seconds?

"I'll take care of it," Erin said, kissing him on the head before joining the kids in the bedroom. The three appeared a few minutes later, Kelly still at the table running his hand through his hair, staring at the empty glass.

"We'll be back in a bit, Kel. We're getting treats. Do you want one?" Erin kissed him on the mouth, pulling on his chin so he'd look her in the eyes. Those hazel eyes saying everything was okay.

J.P. hugged Kelly quickly from the side, both diverting their eyes downward. Severide was ashamed at the outburst, but not knowing how to fix it. Kayla brushed Kelly's shoulder with her hand as she passed by, but he wasn't sure if it was an accident.

He showered in a burning hot rush of water, one he hoped would wash away his guilt, his pain, all of it. Absolve him of everything. It didn't.

When the three returned home, he was in bed feigning sleep. Erin quietly joined him, wrapping her arms around her husband, kissing him on the cheek, stroking it softly. Once her breathing evened out, becoming that peaceful rhythm he loved, Kelly rolled out of bed. He padded lightly to the door, not turning on a light until he reached the kitchen. After a quick drink, he headed to his real destination.

The soft breathing sounds coming from the bedroom were a comfort to Kelly. He'd check on J.P. every night, now checking on Kayla too. He slowly opened the door, inching his way in. J.P.'s bed closest to the door. Kayla had left her bed and was smooshed against her brother, both packed into the twin bed. J.P. was facing the door, eyes closed, asleep.

Kelly knelt down, running his hand along the boy's arm. "J.P., you up?" he asked, hoping he wouldn't wake up Kayla. "J.P. wake up."

"Hmm?" the boy mumbled, rubbing his eyes, the light from the hallway shining on his face.

"J.P., you awake?" Kelly whispered a hair louder.

"Yes sir," he answered, shaking his head a little. "What's wrong?" He propped his head up on a hand, elbow resting on his pillow.

"I'm sorry about today, J. I wasn't mad at you. You're the best kid ever," Kelly said, his voice on the verge of breaking, his face the most serious the little boy had seen.

"Mom told us the doctor didn't have good news," J.P. admitted hesitantly, the concerned eyes hitting Kelly in the heart. "but you're gonna be fine."

Kelly put his head in the little boy's pillow, a tiny hand finding the back of his head. He couldn't speak, words choked off by the boy's hand trying to offer some comfort to the fireman.

"I'm sorry I blew up at you. J.P." Kelly repeated, voice so hoarse. "You're the best kid, the best son. You know that, right?"

When Kayla woke up the next morning, she felt around in the small bed, her brother gone. Must be up already, she thought groggily. She heard something on the floor, soft snoring and soft breathing. Peeking her head over the side she saw her brother laying on his stomach. He wasn't alone. Right next to him was Kelly, also on his stomach. She stared at J.'s hand resting on the man's back. Protectively.

Kayla smiled.

* * *

**So some strides in getting Kayla to come around, but no miracle recovery for Kelly. Happier times coming soon with some drama mixed in. :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Happy Easter, y'all (if you celebrate that sort of thing)! Here's an extra long update for the best readers and reviewers on FF. I don't always PM (I'm bad) but I really do appreciate all the traffic. Thanks to everyone for reading and giving me some !**

* * *

Kelly kept going, doing everything Dr. Stinson instructed… rehab, rest, and wearing that neck brace. Each appointment with no bad news but offered no good either. He was in a holding pattern with no where to go. 51 didn't need him. He'd stopped dropping by, feeling like a visitor. A visitor in his own house. The house that was his only home for so many year. Now, they'd moved on without him.

Erin. J.P. Now, Kayla. That was why he kept on keeping on. The thoughts of an arson investigation job slipped in once in a while during his darkest hours. Teaching at the academy was always on the table. He'd enjoyed the short stint he was strong armed into doing. But did it evoke a passion? No, it was the bringing a fiery beast to its knees, the rushing out of an inferno with a kid in your hands that made him want to go to work, had been his purpose in life for all those years. How he longed for the action, the excitement, ached for it in a way that told him there would be no switching of careers. He was a fireman through and through.

The weeks whipped by with Severide in limbo and then without warning, he would almost say overnight if months of hard work wouldn't disagree, he was getting better. It started with not hurting all the time. When he woke up one morning, stretching out his arms before rolling over to get out of bed, Kelly didn't have the hot creep of pain inching from his neck down the length of his spine. Some mornings it reached its grip to his sciatic and wouldn't let go, other days it crept down to the middle of his back, tensing the surrounding muscles as if they wanted to attack. On this particular morning, he was stiff but that hurt was missing.

Kelly was clattering pans around, making breakfast when the kids walked groggily into the kitchen, the smells of bacon and sausage too tempting to ignore for a few more minutes of sleep.

"Who wants pancakes? Or do we wanna go with waffles?" he asked, a sly grin pasted on his face, knowing the argument about to ensue.

Sure enough, J.P. extolled the virtues of waffles. "You can put syrup in every square, right dad?" he asked always looking for approval.

Before Kelly could agree, Kayla was talking about pancakes like they might change the world. Severide had to admit, the girl had a way with words. She almost had him convinced when Erin strolled in from a shower, wet hair up in a towel.

"We're having pancakes?" she asked huskily, her voice still waking up.

Kelly rushed over kissing her on the neck, J.P. flushing and looking away quickly.

"Yes, we're havin' pancakes," he answered, noting the crestfallen look on his son's face. "But we're also havin' waffles cause us men need to stick together." He winked at J.P. who was suddenly at his elbow, offering up a quick hug.

"Welcome back, hero," Erin whispered in his ear, both arms around his waist, returning the kiss on his neck. J.P. hurriedly excusing himself to his room wanting to slip on jeans, and murmuring something about having to pee. Erin knew this was a crossing of the threshold, something in her man's eyes said the worst was behind them. She turned him around, looking into those blue eyes she'd come to love and rely on and planted a huge kiss on his mouth. Kelly ran his hand, still holding a spatula, down the length of her back.

Kayla had her elbows on the table, face resting in her hands, watching the couple, smiling.

* * *

The Severides frequented their kids' school, all the teachers and nuns at St. Elizabeths knowing the couple well. There'd been parent conferences about their "unique" situation, the usual drop off and pick up of kids, but Kelly and Erin had never been involved with the PTA or anything where they rubbed elbows with the other parents. Tonight was their coming out party.

It was a PTA potluck and planning session for the big spring carnival that the whole surrounding neighborhoods looked forward to each year. It was their main fundraiser for the following year, the one that would pay for field trips, uniforms for those who couldn't afford it, and half the proceeds going back to the church.

Erin had slipped out of her black pants opting for a flowery dress instead, one Kelly'd never seen. He whistled low and long.

"Mmm, you sure we gotta go?" he asked running his hands along her hips.

"Down boy. Yes, we 'gotta go' babe. You think this is okay?" she asked looking at herself doubtfully. She couldn't shake the whole feeling like she was playing a role, pretend mom, instant mother figure. "Who am I kidding?" she said aloud not meaning to.

"What?" Kelly asked, keeping his hands to himself, knowing she was wrestling with some shadows.

"I borrowed this from Holly, and, I just don't know," she said bringing the dress over her head to take it off. "It doesn't read soccer mom?"

Her husband pushed it back over her head. "It reads hot mom. It's perfect. You're perfect. I know you're nervous, but we got this. We'll be fine," he assured, grabbing her hand and leading her out to the anxious pair waiting in the living room.

J.P. caught sight of his mom in that dress and a huge grin spread across his face, looking like he just won the pennant. That was all the reassurance Erin needed. That boy could fill any doubts she had about herself with one hug, one look, one smile.

As the Severides walked into the cafeteria, several teachers came forward to greet them warmly. Mr. Donnelly bragging about his little helper, J.P. How "well adjusted" he is, polite, really a model student. Kelly beamed as if he had something to do with it. Erin smiled but there was a sadness beneath the surface, aware it was the little boy's defense mechanism… he'd probably been so afraid of doing anything wrong, the repercussions, that he just made himself perfect.

Kelly swung an arm around Erin possessively when he noticed Mr. Donnelly's gaze getting swept up in those hazel eyes and prominent dimples. Couldn't blame the guy, but Kelly went a little caveman, marking his territory with an arm and a pointed look.

Sister Anne Rechtein was next in line, gushing about the "artiste extraordinaire" she had unleashed in Kayla. She didn't look like any nun Kelly had seen, wearing jeans and some old Earth Day T-shirt. She didn't sound like any nun either.

"That girl of yours is amazing, the depth of feeling, the figurative language. She paints a picture like no other eleven-year-old I've ever taught. Ever!"

Kelly made a note to ask Kayla what kind of language she was using in her writing class. They nodded politely, pretending that they were privy to the young girl's journal and sketch pad. What she had shared had been a couple of pages only, and that was some artwork, nothing with words. More teachers came forward with the Severides feeling like they were at a receiving line at a wedding, or perhaps more accurately, at a funeral. Compliments were rushing out, celebrating the talents of the children. There were a few prodding questions, brushed off by a fireman.

The women were mainly on one side of the cafeteria, chatting enthusiastically, the ones firmly in charge of this thing. The carnival was a well oiled machine thanks to the moms at the school. The dads were on the other side talking about anything but the fundraiser.

It was time to split up, but Erin didn't let go of her husband's hand. The questions about the kids, how they came to get them… Kelly was so much better at fielding inquiries with his easy, no-nonsense way. She knew she got tongue tied, often trying to justify that the state had actually trusted her with them, still not believing it herself.

The fireman gave her a confident smile, squeezing her hand as they approached the women. All the gazes stopped abruptly on Kelly. He had their rapt attention …"Is this the ladies only side of the room or can a guy butt in?" he asked that devilish grin on his face.

One woman stepped forward, the pecking order had been established years ago, and now her lingering eyes rested on Severide.

"You may butt in any time you want. I'm Emily. And you are?" the raven haired mom asked, extending a well-manicured hand, her gaze not moving from the fireman.

"Kelly Severide. This is my wife, Erin, and our kids are J.P. and Kayla," he offered pointing to the pair who were with a group of others decorating cookies, J.P. eating more than he frosted, but Kayla working on one like it was the next Mona Lisa.

Every time Kelly spoke the women felt a flutter in their stomachs and giggles broke free from their mouths. Erin couldn't believe that grown women were acting like this. She was amazed at how they seemed to not even notice she was by his side.

Kelly tilted his head listening intently, the boyish look in his eyes contradicting the gray specks throughout his hair. Erin knew what effect he had on the opposite sex, getting a first hand look right now. It had been a while with him hermit-like in their apartment except for the baseball practices and games.

Emily, the overeager mom with the silky black locks and porcelain skin, touched his arm repeatedly, forcing Erin to go to the other side, locking his other arm tightly. Kelly would say something funny and aggressive mom would laugh tossing back that hair and as she swung it forward, her hand would brush over his arm lightly.

"Babe, you holding my arm or tryin' to break it?" Kelly asked Erin, wrenching his limb loose.

"Yes, sometimes I feel like this thing," Emily said pointing to her wedding ring, "is so tight it's cutting off my circulation." She laughed way too loudly as Kelly looked at his wife realizing for the first time she was not having as much fun as he was.

Erin's heart was hammering, but she kept her face neutral, a small dismissive smile peeking from her mouth. The women felt as if his blue eyes were cutting right through them, but Kelly felt the burn of some hazel ones. Erin held her tongue knowing he would pay for the whole thing later. Kelly knew he would too, and he couldn't wait.

* * *

"That was fun," Kelly breathed out, crawling up from the bottom of the bed, head peeking from the sheets.

"Mmmm," Erin managed, still out of breath.

"Mama's happy?" he asked, smiling broadly his face in front of hers now.

"Mmmm," she said again. "You are still not forgiven," she teased, cracking her eyes open a bit to take in his puppy dog look.

"Babe, I'm innocent. That evil woman was all over me…" he started, cutting himself off by ducking back under the sheets, kissing Erin's stomach softly.

"You loved it," Erin protested, her words turning into a moan as he moved lower.

"But you forgive me, right?" Kelly stopped abruptly, fingers and mouth at a stand still.

"Yes, yes, Kelly, please," Erin whispered, his torture methods doing the trick.

Her husband's mouth was back on her, but he stopped again. "You sure?"

"Oh, God, don't be an asshole," Erin said louder, back arching in anticipation.

"Language, babe," he reprimanded before shutting up for good.

* * *

A smug grin was pasted across Kelly's face as he dressed himself easily, trekking off to the Clarke's to see what kind of progress was being made on the pit, the money pit as he like to tease his friends. In truth he could see the appeal. The place was huge, or at least comparing it to the Severide apartment, and it held a definite charm.

"And why do you look so chipper?" Erin asked coming up behind her man, smelling his freshly scrubbed body, touching his slightly damp hair.

"I don't know," he answered in mock innocence, both knowing why the smiles. After months of barely being able to walk around, Kelly's mobility was back and he'd made it the most of it. The couple reconnecting. Every chance they got.

"So Shay's picking up J.P. for a picnic with Holly, and Kayla's mine for the day. We've got hair appointments at noon, so fingers crossed I can convince her to do something with those bangs that she likes to hide her face with. She's such a pretty girl…" Erin muttered, understanding the girl's desire to disappear, fade into the woodwork. Really it had been survival all those years. Now, Erin was hoping to get her to realize she didn't need it.

"And you, my husband, are not to pick up a hammer or do any manual labor. Got it? You have Stinson on Tuesday," Erin commanded, taking his face in her hands.

Kelly's dopey expression of feigned innocence evaporated into a cocky grin. "Stinson's gonna have some good news."

Erin shifted a little nervously, "Yes. He has to." She didn't think they could take anything less.

A loud knock on their bedroom door said Kayla was behind it. J.P. never disturbed the couple, but Kayla would when it was an eleven-year-old deemed emergency.

"J.P. was looking in my sketchbook again!" she complained as Kelly opened the door.

"I'll talk to him," Kelly said, heading to their bedroom.

"No, it's okay. He closed it when I caught him," Kayla stopped him, rethinking the tattling. She knew how devastated J.P. got when he thought the fireman was even slightly disappointed in him.

"You ready?" Erin asked putting on some small gold stud earrings. She kissed Kelly on the cheek as Kayla waited behind for a hug, as if it were the most natural thing ever. Thoughts of running away gone, thoughts of a lost mom who couldn't get past her demons to take care of two kids fading away like the watercolor pictures in the front of the young girl's sketchbook. When J.P. asked his sister every couple of nights if she was happy, if they were stayin' with "mom and dad" she answered "of course, dork" as if he was crazy for thinking otherwise, as if her escape plans of just a few short months ago were a figment of his imagination.

The hair salon was one that Erin had been going to for years, a Valentina referral… "Not too expensive, but those bitches can cut hair," her designer friend professed when Erin showed up for lunch with a butcher job on her locks. After saying she should sue, only making her more self conscious of the sad state of her hair, he convinced her to call them. They hadn't done her wrong. She was hoping they would persuade Kayla to let her face come out from behind a mass of black hair she wore like armor.

Kayla had never gotten her hair professionally cut, her mom doing it every few months, usually on a high that left the little girl's hair looking like it had gone through a woodchipper. Kayla hadn't minded, somehow knowing in that little girl brain that the worse she looked, the better that was with the neverending parade of men to travel through their doors.

Erin squeezed her hand tightly, "This is going to be fun. Trust me" She saw the fear and was taken back to her own childhood, eerily similar. She'd never forget getting a pedicure with Camille Voight, thinking she'd died and gone to heaven at age 15. It was a cherished memory, one she thought would never be topped, but a certain fireman and two kids were proving her wrong.

Kayla smiled weakly, not used to all the attention being lavished on her, draped in a cape and handed a Coke, it was a whole new world. They were led back to the wash room and plopped down at adjoining sinks. The little girl scooted back so her head was leaning entirely in the sink, closing her eyes in preparation for whatever was to come. The warm water cascaded down and Kayla realized this was no torture chamber, just the opposite. When Sierra's fingers went to work, the little girl relaxed entirely, the smells of ginger and lemon bringing new images to draw. She didn't want the shampoo to end, but after some long minutes of scrubbing and head massages it did.

"You like that?" asked Erin as the two were led back to the stylist stations. Kayla nodded enthusiastically, her hair wrapped up tightly in a towel, her face finally on display. Erin laughed hoarsely, kissing the top of the towel.

The little girl smiled brightly as Sierra pumped the chair, rising it up and up.

"So, what are we doing today, gorgeous?" the stylist asked, combing through the long, thick mane.

Kayla shrugged her shoulders looking at Erin for an answer.

"Whatever she wants," the brunette answered, "she's the artist in the family with the good eye." She so wanted to say to get that crap out of her face, but she resisted knowing how she felt when other's, even a loving husband, tried to dictate anything in her life. She knew the girl had so little control of her situation, this was one area she should have a say in.

"Well," Sierra began, combing the front section over to the side. "With your oval face shape, some light bangs will look nice. I think you should grow this part out," she added grabbing the offending face covering part. "Then we'll trim it all up and you'll have hair pretty enough to match your face."

Kayla shook her head enthusiastically, looking at Erin to approve. "Go for it. Whatever you think."

Erin was done before Kayla, remaining in the chair, oohing and aahing about the transformation. "I think I would shoot someone to have that hair, girl," she teased, smiling at the huge smile in the mirror. "Maybe just a bad guy, in the kneecaps."

The girl giggled loudly touching her hair, marveling at how silky it felt freshly blow dried. Sierra disappeared to the back saying she had a little surprise leaving Erin alone with her new insta-daughter.

"You like it?" Erin asked already knowing the answer.

Kayla stopped looking at herself to turn toward Erin. "I love it. This is the best day ever, Miss Erin, uh, mom," she said awkwardly hopping out of the chair to wrap her arms around the woman.

"Yes, best day ever," Erin said kissing her on the head.

* * *

Lunch was the next stop, Erin taking Kayla to Joe's, her special Kelly place where so many of those good memories had been born. They brought J.P. once, charming all the waitresses with his easy smile and compliments about the "best food I ever aten." It was time for a Kayla introduction.

The little girl loved it, loved Jeanine, loved everything about the day. She was chatting it up with the waitress even offering to sketch her, sketchbook situated on the table. She'd left her "purse" in the car saying she really only needed the book, Erin not believing the metamorphosis. Not just Kayla's hair, but it was as if the girl was coming out of her cocoon, and Erin was loving the butterfly before her.

After stuffing themselves with the lasagne lunch special they headed back home, a tiramisu for the boys to split, finding Kelly on the couch nursing a beer, J.P. next to him with a Gatorade.

J.P. mimicked the catcall whistle he heard Kelly give Erin when she was all dressed up or looking special in some way. Sometimes just for the heck of it.

Kelly almost spit out his beer, snorting with laughter. "Oh hell no," Severide called out getting up from the couch. "You two look way too good to be goin' out in public." He turned to the little boy, "You think I should get a shotgun now or wait until your sis is in high school?"

"That's what your face looks like?" he asked Kayla, bending over to give her a hug. No awkwardness in the return, she held on for longer than she ever had before. She adjusted her expensive new barrette, a gift from Valentina passed on by Sierra, as she let Kelly see her face.

"Yep, this is it," she answered looking into those fireman eyes.

"Well, it's about the prettiest face I've ever seen," Kelly told Kayla, winking into her dark brown eyes.

"Except for mom's," J.P. added smiling at Erin.

"Thanks a lot," Kayla said, shooting him a look.

"I'm stickin' by my words," Kelly reassured winking again before giving his wife a lingering kiss on the lips.

"I agree, hero," Erin said, dimples running so deep. Kelly noting her flawless beauty made more intense with the glow of happiness. A happiness written all over her face.

* * *

The Dr. Stinson appointment brought the news Kelly had promised his wife, the news he needed, they all needed. A return to work was coming, his recovery finally turning a corner. The doctor's normally stoic demeanor was almost animated as he had his I told you so moment, reminding Kelly that he was right. All the rehab was paying off, the pain finally diminished and left, every physical movement just became easier.

Kelly hit his last month of rehab like a man on fire. He could feel his return, could taste it. He chased it with such force, Erin was afraid he'd hurt himself. But he always pushed himself to his limit, not going a millimeter beyond.

He tried to keep his return day low key, like any other day, but nobody was having that. Shay'd even decorated 51 with the help of an overeager Brett.

Erin and the kids insisted on dropping him off.

"I don't wanna make this a bigger deal than it is," Kelly tried, adjusting his belt, his pants now a little too big. But that uniform felt so good, like his own comfort food, like he was getting back in his own skin.

"This is a big deal. You're back," Erin said, pushing down tears. He'd fought so hard, they all had.

Kelly gathered them all up for a group Severide hug before they headed out.

"I wanna stay at 51 all day, dad," J.P. whined, so excited he could barely keep both feet on the ground.

"You got this, K," Kayla added, one of those fancy barrettes holding back her hair.

There was no pushing down the welling pools in Erin's eyes now. She thought back to the first day she saw her husband, at 51 having just laid Vince Keeler out, the thug thrown to the curb on his ass. She'd warned him to watch out, be careful, but there was something so intriguing about those eyes, the defiant stubbornness, but also the sweetness as he told her his name, "I'm Kelly, Kelly Severide."

Kelly Severide was going back to work.

* * *

**So, no drama, just sweetness. Hope you like it!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Thanks so much for the reviews! Appreciate the love. Sorry for the long wait, RL is kicking my butt right now. Things should slow down soon *fingers crossed*. Hope you enjoy this one! I kind of love it.**

* * *

Being back at work didn't really mean back at work. Kelly came to that stark realization as Chief gave him one mountain of paperwork after another. He was on "modified" duty or as he liked to call it "House Bitch." He was filing papers, typing reports, doing stuff he could have just kept his ass at home for.

"Chief, we need to talk," Severide said as he barged into Boden's office shutting the door behind him, ready to make some demands.

"Yes, _we_ do. I needed to talk to _you _about something," Chief took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes.

"Sleepless nights?" Kelly asked smiling now at the thought of a little boy who had to be approaching one.

"Yes, he's been teething, fighting off a cold. He's tough but it's been kicking his butt, or his diaper," Boden joked, face breaking into a wide, toothy smile, one that appeared more and more since becoming a dad for the second time.

Kelly got it. J.P. had brought a joy to his life in one of the darkest periods. He honestly didn't know what he would've done if the little boy hadn't wormed his way in his heart. And now Kayla. That one was a tough nut to crack, but he'd cracked that shell wide open, he thought with his own broad smile spreading across his face. She had all her girl issues, hell, he'd let Erin deal with that, but she also had a wry sense of humor, a sharp mind and more talent in her pinky than Kelly thought he had in his whole body. She got his jokes, even the ones Erin gave him a "grow up" look for. And when he said, "Don't tell mom" she listened. J.P. on the other hand…

Kelly was slapped back to reality with the word "requalification."

"What?" he asked only hearing half of what Chief said.

"They want you to requalify, Kelly. It's not the fastest process, but ultimately it's what you'll have to do if you want full duty."

Severide walked out of the office numb. This was a slap in the face. After all the years of service, of blood, sweat and tears? This was what he got?

"Mouch!" he barked to the redhead parked on the couch. Retired or not, he held the most knowledge about a fireman's rights and what the department could or could not do. "In my office!"

* * *

Kelly wasn't the only one back. Erin had been a part time participant in all things Intelligence while Kelly was struggling. Throw the instant kids into the mix and her head just wasn't on the job. Cally'd picked up the slack and Voight was more than tolerant, allowing her to miss more days than most cops on leave.

"So what do we got, Hank?" she asked her sergeant, eyes sparkling with the promise of a new case.

"Well, cupcake and TF over there wrapped up the last case, the professor is facing some hard time on this one," Voight couldn't bring himself to say the names knowing it all brought back a flood of lost baby memories for Erin.

Erin smiled appreciatively at her friend, marveling at how she hadn't said anything. She didn't need the details. Just knowing the drug dealing professor was gone was enough.

"And who's TF?" asked Erin scanning the room for a new cop.

"Task Force over there," Voight rasped out, nodding in Halstead's direction.

Erin's husky laugh rang out, such a welcome sound that even Jay was grinning at the moniker that usually made his blood boil.

It was one of those rare occasions where there was nothing on the board, not one case. Time to wrap up all loose ends, long neglected paperwork.

The team groaned as Voight basically told them all to get to it at their desks.

"So what's this about the FBI?" Erin asked Halstead.

A chorus of groans echoed throughout the bullpen.

* * *

It wasn't the smooth transition Clarke had envisioned. Severide would come back, he'd hand over the reins, he'd leave 51 albeit a little reluctantly. Only Kelly wasn't really back. He was in a kind of limbo that left them all out of sorts. The men had a lieutenant they loved who couldn't do much at the moment. He was starting a few ride alongs next shift, but no action until … when? Jeff guessed when the doc cleared him, or the CFD. He didn't really know much and Severide wasn't talking.

"Hey, you got a minute," Clarke asked, poking his head in Kelly's office, the one he'd been using till a couple of days ago.

"Yeah, still buried in all this," Severide said waving his hands around mounds of paper, now organized in various piles.

"We're grillin' next Saturday, nothing fancy, thought you guys might want to come over," Jeff asked, moving a pile of papers off the side chair so he could sit.

"Sounds good, but J.P.'s got a strength and conditioning camp, thought I'd sit in and get a workout. Not sure if Kay's with me or Erin, but if she's with the wife, maybe they'll drop by," Kelly barely looked up from the report he was trying to correct.

"Maybe I'll join you guys and let the girls have some alone time," Clarke suggested.

"Mmm, they're kinda doing me a favor lettin' me join the boys. You know the whole requalifying bullshit?"

Jeff didn't say anything, just watching as Kelly chewed up half a pencil in concentration.

"Are you pissed at me or something?" he finally asked.

"Huh? What?" Severide was dumbfounded. "Pissed? At you?"

"The requalifying, me still acting lieutenant…"

"Oh, Jesus. You're kiddin' me, right?" Kelly laughed. "You, Casey, Manny. You guys are what got me back here. And hell, I couldn't pick a better fill in."

"You seem, uh…" Clarke continued.

"Mad at the world? Yeah, can't believe the department's making me jump through hoops. So yeah, I am pissed, but not at you. But, hey, if you wanna help me out…" Kelly said pointing at one of the piles.

_"Engine 51...Truck 81...Ambulance 61...Squad 3...Apartment fire… Rosemont and Magnolia"_

"Ah, damn, was gonna take you up on that," Jeff grinned as he jumped out of the chair.

"It'll be waiting when we get back," Kelly said running after Clarke.

"_We_?" Jeff saw that look in his friend's eyes and hesitated for a second. "Okay. C'mon." The grin on Kelly's face was priceless.

* * *

The scene was a mess, fire ripping through the apartment like a hungry lion devouring its prey. Clarke took his, Kelly's men, up the stairs straight to three. "Fire department, call out!" one voice yelled out, then the next as if they'd rehearsed the whole affair beforehand.

Boden and his lieutenant watched from below, Shay was at her friend's side, trying to make small talk, find out about J.P.'s latest baseball exploits, if Kayla was making more friends, if Kelly'd made any more _friends_ at the kids' school.

"Shay, can you shut up for half a second!" Kelly barked, more concerned with the smoke puffing out of the building.

"Stairs out! We're heading to the northeast window!" Clarke's voice called out, the sense of urgency coming through.

Kelly rushed toward the ladder moving automatically to help his men.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Boden yelled.

Severide didn't answer, his feet picking up speed as he hopped on the ladder, Cruz maneuvering its ascent. He blocked out Chief's orders, Shay's objections, everything except that little voice in his head. The one that told him when to break right, when to fall flat to the ground, when to get the heck out of a burning building. Right now that voice was telling him that squad was going to come out of that window hot.

Kelly was dangling on the edge of the ladder, stretched out, arms reaching toward the window. The glass broke, exhaling a huge puff of black smoke. His guys were piling through the small window, Mills getting out first. Kelly half hauled him onto the ladder.

"Clarke! Capp! Come on!" he yelled, swatting ineffectively at the dense smoke pouring from the opening. Capp leapt onto the ladder, small flames following in pursuit. Jeff came next with a river of fire chasing him. He couldn't see even an inch in front of his face and missed the center of the ladder, one arm grabbing at the rungs, the other catching squad's lieutenant.

"I got ya," Kelly called, both hands clutching at his friend as Cruz already began the lowering. Clarke swung a leg over, Kelly holding his back on the metal frame.

The smile playing on Severide's mouth was wiped quickly away once in earshot of chief.

"I think you've forgotten how I do not like to say things twice! That I will not have direct orders ignored!" Boden was in Kelly's face the second his feet hit the ground.

"Chief, I didn't even go in the building. I stayed on the ladder," Severide tried, making perfect sense in his mind.

"If you had gone in, you would not have a job right now!" Boden continued yelling. "My office when we get back!" Chief stomped off with all the men moving far, far away from their leader.

"Thanks, bud," Jeff said patting Kelly on the back. "I'll talk to him. My fault for okaying the ride along."

"What is his problem? I climbed a ladder. He acts like I'm gonna break," Kelly muttered as he stomped off to squad's truck.

Jeff didn't say anything, shaking his head. Uh, you already did that, he thought watching Severide storm away. Hopes for a smooth transition were retreating with the withdrawing figure of his friend.

* * *

Kelly clamped his mouth shut in a way Erin hadn't seen in years, not since they first began this relationship thing. From the minute they both decided they were in it for the long haul, there'd been no secrets, really from before they'd even committed themselves to each other. Erin had been a listening board through the entire Katie ordeal. She wasn't used to being shut out.

"Fine," was the response she got when she queried about his big return. Everything was fine, "all good."

Cally offered no insights saying Jeff had responded in kind. The two fireman bonded in silence, showing their wives the fireman code apparently rivaled that cop code the women liked to talk about so much. They definitely had each other's six.

Shay. Erin realized she had to work Shay.

Leslie was no fool. She knew the invitation to have a fun girls' night at the Severide abode was not a casual offer. She accepted anyways knowing full well that Kelly needed Erin right now, needed her in a way Shay couldn't fulfill. He was being too stubborn to admit it to her or to himself.

"So what's going on with Kelly, Shay? At work," Erin didn't skip a beat from the pouring of the wine to the prying for information.

Shay did love that about her.

"He feels useless. Like he's not allowed to do anything. Like he's been replaced," Leslie admitted. She replayed that first day back, the wrath of Boden, and the basically being nothing more than a house decoration.

It all made sense. Kelly's mood, his putting on a smile but it feeling hollow, like it was there as a favor to her or the kids.

The "needing to take a couple days" after only his first shift back. It had been a Boden mandated "time-out" until he could "remember what it's like to be a fireman." Erin winced at the thought of Chief booming that out to her man.

"Why the hell hasn't he said anything about this?" Erin asked, not needing an answer. She knew why.

The months of rehab, the struggle, the fight… he was trying to spare her from anything more. He was back in his mind. That was all she needed to know.

Erin a few years back wouldn't want to know. She would have been glad at being kept in the dark. Love 'em and leave 'em, never opening up to anyone. But Erin now didn't bear much of a resemblance to that girl. She'd stripped away so much of that part of her used as armor, what she used growing up to survive. Erin couldn't believe who she'd become, how she'd opened up in a way that still startled and almost embarrassed her at times.

The rest of the night was filled with a couple of bottles of wine, talk of Shay having the baby bug, bets on how long before Cally and Jeff were bitten, and the latest J.P. and Kayla adventures.

Shay could see that Erin was only half thinking of whatever they were talking about, her mind on a fireman. Shay also knew that the fireman was in good hands.

* * *

Kelly was holed up in his office, waiting for the offer to ride along to come from Chief himself. It was happening more and more with Boden letting him do a little more with each call. Chief had been in constant contact with Dr. Stinson, with the doc setting the timetable of a fireman requalification and Boden was making damn sure Kelly stuck to it. Nothing more, nothing less.

The slow return to full duty was a slow torture for Severide. He felt good for the first time in almost a year, he was back to feeling a little indestructible. But here he was in his office with paperwork that he finally figured out Chief was inventing for his benefit. He shoulda known the Marine would never let things get out of control. The place was spotless, all the equipment in perfect working condition, the squad running like a well-oiled machine. It was a hard thing to stomach.

"Hey, got a second?" Casey asked coming in before his friend answered.

"Got nothin' but time," Kelly replied dropping the busy work from his hands. "What's up?" He figured it was another Ra Ra pep talk that almost everyone in the house had tried. Brett's baked goods had started in again, every treat one of Kelly's favorites. Shay had taken to replaying every Severide save she could remember with Kelly feeling like he was attending his own funeral at every meal time. Boden was even giving out compliments at the most mundane things, handling a hose, a saw, stuff Kelly could've done from the time he was twelve.

But Casey hadn't joined the cheerleading team, instead pushing him, running him through drills, not putting up with Shay's almost in memoriam run down on Severide saves, reminding them about his missteps and how many times he needed his own ass pulled back up from the depths of some fire. Kelly appreciated the rough treatment, needed it.

"So, you here to tell me I'm doin' good?" Severide asked, figuring Casey was joining the bandwagon.

"Noo, am I supposed to? Actually, it's Mills," Matt began.

"What's up with Mills?" Kelly asked about his youngest squad member.

"Didn't want to say anything but I feel like you should know. Pete had a close call couple months back," Casey explained.

"No one said anything," Kelly accused, his eyes telling Matt to go on.

"Underwater rescue, old guy had a stroke, drove his car straight in. It was a cluster from the minute we got there. Mills got his line tangled up, Capp had to go in, old man was dead. It was bad from the get go." Casey explained, darkness covering his face at the memory.

"Last time I checked Mills was doin' just fine," Kelly commented confused at the Pete concern. He knew his man was in top shape, couldn't help but think the kid would have his job someday.

"Yeah, he's okay physically, but last water rescue and it was Clarke and Capp going in. Mills suited up but couldn't go in."

"Hell," Kelly commented under his breath, thinking. "Best thing for him is to get back to it. The longer he waits…"

"Yeah, but no one's makin' him. Clarke's no fish," Matt commented thinking about how Jeff preferred saving lives on dry land.

"I'll take care of it," Severide answered, those wheels turning.

* * *

"Hey Mills, got a minute?" Kelly asked.

"Sure, lieutenant. What's up?" Pete replied.

"My office," Severide led the way with Mills wondering what he'd done, his mind shuffling through the myriad of recent calls.

"Shut the door," instructed Kelly, sitting at his desk. "It's kinda personal so what I tell you stays here."

"Yes, of course," Pete's curiosity piqued.

"You may have heard the department's makin' me requalify," Kelly started, with Mills chuckling, all the men well aware of the snub. "So that means fifteen hours in the water. Haven't takin' a dip in over a year, could use someone watching my back. I'd ask Clarke but I'd probably end up having to save that desert rat's ass …" both men laughing.

"Sure, lieutenant. Name the day and I'm there," Mills answered enthusiastically. He knew this man gave him a shot at squad when others looked at him like he was still in diapers. He owed him.

They headed back to the common area … "I'll call my buddy at Mermet, see if he can get us in next weekend," Mills said, patting his lieutenant on the back.

"Thanks, Pete. I'll check with Erin 'bout the kids' schedules, but don't think we got anything goin' on," Kelly said shooting Casey a look and grin.

Matt shared his own knowing look with Clarke who raised an eyebrow in reply, Boden stuffing down his own grin. Sometimes a plan just came together…

* * *

The strength and conditioning camp turned out to be a day to remember, not because of the dad and son bonding, not because Kelly could show off a little with J.P. beaming that his dad was "stronger than your dad," but because another father/son pair showed up… Clint and Nicholas Hill. The obnoxious dad who Kelly did not seem to be able to escape, with his equally obnoxious son who J.P. was cursed with like a bad dream.

The camp was an exercise in self-restraint – Severide self-restraint. He'd wanted to lay out Clint about twenty three times, wanting to return the black eye favor, but instead he continued his "turning the other cheek" speech with his son. He said over and over, "We're gonna be the bigger man" discourse, loud enough for all to hear.

By the time they got home, Kelly was ready to take out a wall. With his fist. At dinner, everyone was silent, the quiet filling the room. Finally, J.P. broke it.

"Dad, you're my dad, right?" the little boy asked, only making eye contact with the plate of spaghetti in front of him.

"Hell yeah. Why?" Kelly asked, clueless.

"Nicky was asking why my last name's not Severide. His dad said cause I didn't have a real dad, and I was just wondering…"

The fireman slammed his fork on his plate, it bouncing up and onto the floor. "I'm gonna kill that son of a …" he whispered, his eyes on fire as he pushed his chair away from the table harshly.

"Kelly!" Erin said, urging him to sit down with her eyes.

"J.P.!" Kayla echoed, giving him a shut up look. "You know Mr. Kelly and Miss Erin are doing all they can for us."

Kelly took a few deep breaths, settling back into his chair. Doing all they can. Not enough, he thought. The discouraging words of the social worker, "Both of you have such dangerous jobs. The chances of an adoption going through…" she'd told the couple on numerous occasions, stopping them from pushing it. They'd been content with what they had, two great foster kids, no chance of a mom coming back. It had seemed ideal. Only it wasn't. J.P. and Kayla weren't Severides and never would be unless they pushed this thing. Kelly wanted to push.

Without thinking, or talking to Erin alone, Kelly said, "You're gonna be a damn Severide, both of you. I give you my word on that, son." Looking at Erin, he knew it was the right thing to say. Those tears in her eyes told him as much.

* * *

Kelly was in the bathroom talking and brushing his teeth at the same time, uncharacteristically enthusing on and on about starting back up on the adoption process. "Hell, look at the crap I'm havin' to do for my job! I'd do ten times as much for those two," he said nodding toward the kids' room.

"Are you going to talk me to death or join me?" Erin teased seductively stripping off her T-shirt that had previously been her husband's.

Kelly stopped talking, finishing the brushing with a quick rinse.

He was on her in two seconds, a deep desire flooding within as his body pushed so hard against hers. He was like a wildfire on top of her, so fast, out of control, raw and dangerous. And then just like that, he was moving slowly, deliberately, teasing her with his hands and tongue. In that moment of pleasure, Erin was happier than ever that he was back, really back.

As she rolled over on top of her husband, she was overcome with emotion. The words of Kelly at the table showed her again that this would be the only love of her life, the only man for her. Always.

"I love you, Kelly," she whispered as his face came next to hers.

"Mmmm," he groaned out in answer.

"And I want to be a Severide too," she continued, his face snapping upwards to look her in the eyes. Those piercing blues questioning her words silently.

"Erin Severide," she said, "I kinda like the sound of that."

Kelly's teary-eyed grin saying he couldn't agree more.

Later they sleep, exhausted and warm and safe. They are home.

* * *

So a happy little Saturday update. Hope you liked it.


	28. Chapter 28

**Glad you liked the last one! Thank you for the reviews - so much fun to read. Sorry for the late update, RL giving me lemons and I can't seem to remember how to make lemonade (I should ask Cally).**

**Bunch of stuff happening in this one. It's long because you've had a long wait. :) Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"You ready for this?" Mills asked his lieutenant, triple checking all the dive gear for the third time.

"Hell yeah," Kelly answered, huge grin spreading across his face, amused that his guy was actin' like he'd never been on a dive before. Pete refused to let Severide do any of the equipment check, really taking charge like Kelly was a scuba virgin.

Kelly loved Mermet Springs. It was a dream for the recreational diver, clear spring-fed water, tons of toys at the bottom … cars, an ambo, all kinds of junk and the cherry on top - a 727 jetliner that had been used in some movie. He planned on teaching J.P. and Kayla the joys of scuba diving once the kids were a little older and when Erin was on a girls' weekend.

He'd run through a plan of action with Capp, Casey and Clarke. They'd start off with simple drills, going through some of the easier obstacles, a car, check out the rock formations, then head off to the plane.

Severide figured he'd tell Mills to position himself in the way back, playing the role of victim. He'd get himself tangled up in a bungled rescue attempt and Pete would come in for the save. Simple.

"If I can get your ass out of that thing, a car should be no problem," Kelly said, trying to remember the layout of the scattered toys. He remembered a truck trailer being among wreckage positioned before the plane.

"So you don't think we'll ever get a _jet in the water _rescue?" laughed Pete.

"Never say never," Severide commented, thinking about some of the bat shit crazy calls they'd had. The crap people got themselves into… it never ceased to amaze.

The water was perfect for a confidence building excursion. Clear and warm, temps just right.

They headed in and Kelly figured Casey had been exaggerating, his young squad guy enjoying the water as much as he did. Capp wasn't gettin' any younger so Severide was glad to add another fish to his squad. The three of them not backing off of an underwater rescue… where some guys felt suffocated by the water, they were somehow comforted by it. The rush, the save, a big fire the only thing coming close.

They swam through the trailer with Pete timing Kelly, giving him a thumbs up at the speed. Mills didn't feel any of the panic he experienced on his last rescue attempt, the one that had gone south from the get go.

That all changed when he headed inside the 727, something about the simulation making him uneasy, him being the victim. Mills felt his heart rate speeding up, panic beginning to set in. Calm yourself, this is for fun, gotta help Severide he told himself over and over as he pushed to a corner of the plane. It was dark and he was the only one in the jetliner. He waited.

Kelly saw some cables sticking out of one of the openings and decided that would be a good place to get his tank hung up on. He knew the first rule of dive safety was no screwin' around but he also knew this was gonna help Pete, give him a little confidence.

He looped his air hose over a cable loosely, all was good. He waited.

Both men were in a waiting game, with neither budging. Pete figured Kelly was taking his time, hesitant. He knew his lieutenant needed this.

Kelly assumed Mills was givin' him plenty of time, knowing he'd be rusty. But hell, this much time? Move it Mills, he thought. I ain't 70, it would never take me this long unless something was wrong. Come check on me, he urged mentally.

Hell, maybe Pete was in trouble. Kelly had the sinking feeling that this whole thing may have backfired on him. He'd have to go in for Mills.

He paddled his arms around a couple of times, making his body move up from the cable trying to slip the hose back up and over. He gave a couple of kicks expecting to propel toward the plane. He didn't budge. Kelly tried twisting around to see what had him caught up, a spray of tiny bubbles erupting from nowhere, hitting him in the face.

Shit. He knew immediately he'd blown his LP hose. No big deal, he told himself. Happened before, nothing to worry about. Keep calm, close off the cylinder valve to the hose, plenty of air left.

But those damn bubbles, the reduced visibility was making it hard to see a thing, and the "stuck on the cables" ruse was more reality now. Kelly felt his heart rate increase as he twisted his arm around, fingers fumbling for the valve, feeling like a blind man. Stay calm, stay calm, he repeated in his brain, fingers working furiously now.

Mills' face appeared in a haze of bubbles, closing off the valve, yanking on Kelly's gear, freeing it easily. His motions were like clockwork, all the hours of training kicked in and Peter Mills was back. He grabbed his lieutenant's arm, pulling him to the surface. They kicked furiously to the nearest wooden dock, adrenaline still coursing through both men.

"Thanks, Pete," Kelly said sucking in air, flopping on his back, the irony of the situation not lost on the fireman.

Mills threw off his tank, joining Kelly, hands starting to shake a little. "No problem, Lieutenant."

"Might need a few more of these runs before I'm field ready," Kelly breathed out, smiling.

"I can do that," Pete answered.

"And," Kelly added, "Not a word of this to anyone."

"A word of what?" Mills asked, both men erupting into laughter, the weight of what just happened releasing in nervous roars.

"Pete, you're okay," Kelly managed to get out between laughs.

"You too, Severide, you too," Mills added, feeling like he was right where he belonged.

* * *

Erin had suspected. More than suspected. The self-imposed coffee ban, nonchalantly refusing the thing that was a morning ritual. The drinking water at Molly's. Sparkling water. Yeah, Erin knew.

"So, uh, I think Cally's pregnant," Erin said as she dropped in a stud earring, not hesitating for any reaction, getting ready for work. Her rush to get ready, covering for much more beneath the surface.

Kelly sighed heavily expecting as much. Clarke on the phone with his woman constantly, bailing out for this or that, all explained with "Cally's got this thing." The last time they'd gone over to Casa Clarke for dinner, the whiskey replaced with lemonade. Freaking lemonade. Kelly was pretty sure he'd seen Cailin dunk oreos in a glass, a large glass, of Jameson for dessert not too long ago.

"Yeah, thought as much," he admitted stopping in front of Erin as she stepped out of the closet, a light sweater in hand. Kelly took his wife in his arms holding her tight.

"I'm fine," she insisted, not breaking the hold. "You?"

"I'm good," he answered. "We're good," he reiterated, pulling her closer.

"We are," Erin said looking up at those blue eyes she knew she couldn't live without, her dimples promising they would be good.

"Happy for Clarke," Kelly added. "He's wanted this for a long time," the fireman commented remembering the way his friend ogled the baby outfits he'd stashed away. Those outfits… seemed like a lifetime ago. But also seemed like just yesterday.

"Wonder when Cally's gonna tell me," Erin thought out loud, caught up in her own thoughts as well. That quick Cailin confession of a lost baby, a little life gone before they'd even said hello. "They're going to be great parents," she said, Kelly nodding, still holding his girl.

"Well, they got some good role models, Mrs. Severide" Kelly teased, kissing his wife on the forehead before finally releasing her. He still couldn't believe Erin had taken his last name, giving up Lindsay for good. It had been so easy as if it were meant to be. It was.

"Mmmm, I like the sound of that," Erin smiled tip toeing up to kiss her man on the forehead in return.

"Hey, hero, don't forget we have that meeting with the DCFS woman on Wednesday," she reminded. "Take it easy on shift okay?"

"Always," Kelly answered smiling, aware that Erin probably had another word in mind for the "woman." Mrs. Snell was no Sandoval. The case worker for J.P. and Kayla was in the Severide's corner while this Snell woman seemed to be looking for any excuse not to recommend the adoption.

They'd countered every question of their worth as parents the best they could, showing how committed they were to the kids they called their own. Kelly was grilled by the "woman" relentlessly about the Tara Little debacle, finally bringing the other victims into play to prove his point and innocence. Next on the hit list was Erin's non idyllic childhood, the question of drug use coming up over and over. Mrs. Snell was eventually convinced that Erin was not damaged goods and wanted to give J.P. and Kayla all that she never had.

The danger of both their jobs was the sticking point, the thing that just couldn't be talked away. Snell didn't pull any punches saying, "I do not want to see those two end up orphans."

"What the hell are we supposed to do?" Kelly had finally blown. "Give up our jobs?" he asked furious at the woman's accusatory tone. The way she implied they loved their jobs more than the two kids living with them, living in their hearts.

Snell launched into a laundry list of Kelly injuries, the list long and extensive.

"Firefighting ain't exactly a desk job," Severide proclaimed, Mrs. Snell taking it as a slap in the face. When the woman left, Erin let Kelly have it without having to raise or voice or use a harsh word.

"I guess we need to let the kids know that they're our kids with or without those adoption papers," she said, ripping a little part of Kelly's heart out with the words.

"We're not givin' up. I'm sorry, but she can't insult us like that and…" he tried.

"Well, insulting her is not the answer, Kel. She did have a point," Erin admitted, a part of her wishing her fireman would take that always open job with Arson.

"I'll make it better at the next meeting. Promise," he said, feeling like he was fighting for his life. In a way, he was.

Now that meeting was here, and Kelly was going all out. He wore a freshly pressed pair of khakis, hair even styled. He looked more business than badass, hoping his outward appearance would give him a Snell opening.

Erin smiled at the effort, breaking into a husky laugh when she saw J.P. wearing almost the exact same outfit. Even the boy's hair was trying to do a Severide imitation, the coarseness of it not cooperating.

"Don't my boys look handsome today," Erin commented, giving J.P. a quick squeeze as he headed to the bathroom to borrow some aftershave, slapping it roughly on his face in the way Kelly did.

Mrs. Snell was Kelly's this time around, the fireman finally working that charm that had won over a detective and plenty others before her.

He talked about the Arson job offer, how he could see himself there, eventually. Erin's brows raised doubtfully, wondering what the heck he was doing.

"And what about you Mrs. Severide? Do you ever see yourself leaving the PD, that dangerous job? I understand you lost a baby while on the job, miscarried…" she said shuffling through paperwork on a clipboard.

The red in Kelly's face said he was losing the charm and fast. He couldn't believe this woman was reducing their loss to words on a damn clipboard. Before he could speak, Erin jumped in.

"Actually, I'm doing a little side work for Kirkland &amp; Ellis. I can see myself doing more in the future. Easy stuff, pays well," she mumbled, trailing off noticing Kelly's confused look. She hadn't bothered mentioning it, or maybe it was the Ellis, Jr. connection that prevented her from telling him about her off the clock investigation. No big deal, she justified. Tracking down some deadbeat dads, looking into a CI's background, all really surface investigations, all done when Kelly's shift didn't coordinator with her schedule. And then there was Chase Ellis, Jr. not her husband's favorite person.

"Good, good," muttered Mrs. Snell snapping Erin from her thoughts, smiling as she scribbled more notes in that pile of papers. "I've got to say, you two have saved the best for last. And the children… the bond is evident." J.P. had apparently inherited some of that Severide charm even if it wasn't genetic. He was a nervous ball of energy, refilling Mrs. Snell's glass, talking non-stop about baseball with "dad."

"This has been an eye opening visit. I'm going to put in my recommendation, but the wheel turns slowly, so very slowly," she said not looking up from the paper she was still jotting on.

"And that recommendation?" asked J.P. with Kayla giving him a hard elbow to the ribs. "Owww!" he yelped, causing the woman to look up briefly, smile tempting to cross her lips.

"What do you think my recommendation should be, J.P.?" the older woman asked.

"That we stay with mom and dad," he answered, adding, "But dad said we're Severides no matter what."

"I think your dad's a pretty smart man," Mrs. Snell said, letting that smile form. She shook everyone's hand and left not answering the question directly.

"What do you think?" asked Kelly as soon as the door shut.

"I think it's all good," J.P. exclaimed, wondering why everyone broke into laughter, Kayla and Erin not coming up for air, exchanging conspiratorial glances, ones reserved for a mother and daughter. Kelly joining in but wanting to get Erin alone. Soon. That "side job" of hers needing some explaining.

* * *

When Scott Rice showed up on the Severide's doorstep, it wasn't completely unexpected. Kelly had been meaning to check in with his high school friend, but his injury coincided with Scott's own tragedy, leaving little time for either to be much of a support. The pair had grown apart through the years, different houses, different lives, criss-crossing once or twice a year.

Erin had met him once at a 100 Club banquet, a brief encounter cut short when the Rice's got a call that the little one was running a fever. Both of them running out like a house was on fire.

"Oh, I want to talk to that one," Erin had teased. "I bet he's got some storieeees," she laughed.

"Yeah, you and Scott are never speakin' again," Kelly said firmly, his jaw set, but something flashing in his eyes. "Just forget you ever met him."

But now, here was Scott looking broken standing outside the condo.

"Hey, man," he said awkwardly. "That job offer…" he ventured.

"It's yours," Kelly answered before his friend could add another word, shaking the man's hand, and just like that Scott Rice had taken the first step to become a part of 51.

"Thanks, man. I really need this," Scott mumbled.

"We'll be lucky to have you. When can you start?"

The wheels were set in motion, Rice was a welcome addition, probably could have run squad himself. Clarke's last day came with Brett and Shay beside themselves with grief. Jeff kept up a brave front, not wanting to leave, but also knowing there really wasn't a spot for him at 51. He wouldn't give up his lieutenant's spot especially not with the baby on the way.

He'd finally confessed to Kelly about little bean sprouting and growing, asking about baseball camps and schools.

"Hey, you don't have to worry about all that for a few years, bud," Kelly said handing his friend a cigar as they leaned against squad's truck. When Matt joined in, Jeff spilled the little bean beans. They were sworn to secrecy knowing that if a certain blonde paramedic found out there would be baby showers daily, maybe hourly.

Kelly bit his lip hanging on to a secret of his own. Shay had been re-bitten by the baby bug and now infected Holly. They were quietly seeking a sperm donor after Kelly let down his blonde best friend as gently as he could.

"You were just so for it before," she stammered, "I – I – thought, well, maybe…"

"Shay, any other time in my life," Kelly began, never liking disappointing her. Hating that look in her eyes when he did. "Just now, I can't do it. I'm finally back, the kids, the adoption…"

"Oh, no, I get it. Just had to ask before we went to choice number two," Shay snorted brushing off the disappointed look in his eyes. "I didn't think you'd say yes, but you're the best guy I know," she added looking down.

"Jesus, Shay, you know I hate saying no," he insisted, grabbing her hand that was nervously pushing hair behind her ear.

"I know, I know, no biggie. I didn't even want to ask but I thought, what the hell…" Shay was rambling now embarrassed she'd even brought up the idea.

"So what's your next step? You lookin' at profiles again?" Kelly asked remembering the list of random men she'd looked at years ago.

"Yep, that's pretty much it. When I narrow it down, I might ask you to give a looksie over and Erin too of course."

"Sure, I'd be more than happy to check out who's givin' his genes to my niece or nephew," Kelly replied, glad he hadn't totally crushed Shay's hopes.

"Man, you and Clarke, what pair! Keepin' your good stuff to yourselves," Shay sniffed before kissing the main man in her life on the cheek and taking off to the common room.

"Wait, what? You already asked Clarke?" Kelly called after her. "Hey, wait!" the fireman yelled taking off in her direction. "I was _second_ choice?"

* * *

"You do know April Sexton's at Chicago Med, right?" Rice casually asked Kelly as the two ran through drills.

"Now that's a name I haven't heard in a while… How's she doin'?" Kelly asked thinking back on his high school best friend, the person he credited with getting him through those troubled four years.

"She's great. Beautiful as ever," Scott answered. "She's comin' over for popcorn and movie night Thursday, you wanna join?"

"I would but Erin's off and we're plannin' a 'date night.' Or she's plannin' it," Kelly laughed, looking forward to the alone time with his wife at their favorite place, Joe's. "Ask her to come to Molly's on Friday. It'll be great seein' her."

"Will do," Scott replied, thankful for the reconnect with his high school friends, needing it more than ever.

The date at Joe's was just what the Severide's ordered, the stress of an adoption weighing on everyone in the house. The kids were off at Camp Shay being spoiled rotten, Kelly insisting it was a "no adoption talk" night.

"Now who's this woman again?" Erin asked as Jeanine fussed over her husband, bringing not one but two slices of pie, traditional apple, and an apple crumb. The detective rolled her eyes as he said with a wink he'd eat both of 'em, they looked too good to choose just one.

"Huh? What?" he asked stuffing his mouth with a huge bite.

"This woman I'm meeting tomorrow. At Molly's. You said she's a childhood friend, one that you've _never_ mentioned to me before," Erin questioned, her detective senses snapping into high gear.

"She's my high school best friend. She really helped me out, her whole family was there for me. Benny was whorin' around, mom not handling it, at all. April pulled me out of a bad space," Kelly answered not comfortable revisiting that period in his life, one of his darkest.

"Seems odd that you've never mentioned her before. If she saved your life, you'd think you would've kept in touch, mentioned her. Did _something_ happen?" Erin imagined some teen drama of broken hearts and a flood of tears.

"Nah, I kinda acted like a prick our senior year, distanced myself, ashamed of Benny. He picked up with a teacher at the high school, not his finest hour," Kelly smiled, downplaying the incident, wanting to forget the whole damn thing.

"Wait, a teacher at _your_ school?" asked Erin in disbelief.

"Yup. My school. April and her family really helped me out, showed me what a family could be," he explained.

"And she's a nurse now?" Erin pried picturing the nurses at Chicago Med.

"A nurse. That's it, babe. Why the twenty questions? I think it'd be fun to reconnect, you two might hit it off," Kelly answered, ready to move this conversation along.

"Can't wait to meet her."

"So what's goin' on with your side job, workin' with that asshole again?" Kelly's turn to question, remembering Chase Ellis from a city fundraiser, scrounging up money for after school programs. Chase was there to write a big fat check and try to charm the dress off of Erin. He'd been smitten the second he laid eyes on the detective, not happy when a late fireman arrived as her date. He'd been after Erin to come work for his big fancy firm since that night, promising a fat paycheck. Kelly knew he was after a lot more than a new employee.

"Just some extra cash, Kel. Don't make this a thing," Erin answered, deciding the ban on adoption talk should be lifted. "So, when do you think we'll hear something?"

The fireman rattled on about how it better come soon, he wanted J.P. officially a Severide by next season, so the last name could be put on his uniform. He wanted Kayla signing all her artwork with the Severide name. "Hell, that one's gonna make us rich someday," he enthused, thoughts of a nurse and lawyer banished for the night.

* * *

Erin's gaze snapped outward, toward some commotion at the front. It was her. April. Beautiful. The first thing that struck Erin was how beautiful this childhood "nothin' but friends" friend of Kelly's was. The hair, the face, the skin. Erin smoothed back some stray hairs missed by the band currently holding a loose ponytail and felt very … ordinary.

Erin was face-to-face with the woman, as the apparent model posing as a nurse made her way to the detective positioned at the bar. Erin took a quick gulp of her beer.

"You must be Erin," April said warmly a bright smile spreading across her face. A perfect smile. "Kelly told me on the phone how gorgeous you are, and I've got to say, he was right," the woman wanted to go in for a hug, but Erin offered her hand instead.

April was dressed in a black leather vest get up that reminded Erin a little of the contraption she took on her Kelly planned island getaway. She'd felt so self-conscious in the thing. This woman was all bold confidence. Sleek. Sexy. And it pissed off Erin.

Kelly came bounding up, puppy dog enthusiasm at a new level, pissing off the detective further. Her stretched out T-shirt not helping matters.

"Hey, my girls have met," he said a little too loudly, three beers having their effect. "Wow, April. You look great," he said, eyes checking out the black leather barely covering her body.

"Wasn't sure if it still fit," she answered, tugging down a little on hem.

"Oh, it fits," Kelly laughed, oblivious to the daggers coming his way, sent flying by some hazel eyes.

It was all Erin could do not to lunge at this nurse who looked nothing like any nurse she'd ever seen. This best friend of Kelly. _Her_ Kelly. Erin's hand brushed up to where her gun was usually affixed to her body, feeling both relief and disappointment that it was not there, left in the glove compartment of her car.

Erin tried to keep up with the conversation but it was full of tall high school tales, none of which she'd been privy to before this night. April excused herself to greet Scott Rice near the door and offer up a drink.

"Babe, I'm gonna head out. Been a long day," she said kissing her husband on the cheek before taking one more gulp of beer.

"Really? You've barely had a drink, or talked to April." Kelly asked confused at the quick exit. The visions of April and his wife planning a girl's weekend, becoming fast friends had definitely left the building.

"Yeah, _really_," Erin answered, a tinge of her anger boiling to the surface. "Had to chase down a junkie, put up a fight. I'm done for tonight, Kelly."

It was the way his wife said "I'm done" that clued in the fireman there may be trouble in this old friend meeting his wife paradise he'd envisioned.

"You okay? He didn't hurt you?" Kelly asked running his hands down his wife's back in a move usually reserved for her. That damn job, he thought, the words he could never utter without a fight, but the words he thought often.

"No, no. Biggest damage, to my shirt…and my pride," she laughed, lifting her arm revealing a rip in the seam right by her armpit. "So not really dressed for a night on the town," she said eyeing April's outfit again.

"Let's get you home," Kelly said, taking her arm as she slid off her barstool. "Raincheck?" he asked April who was sitting by Rice at a table now.

"Definitely," she answered, getting up to wrap both arms around Kelly. He returned the bear hug, closing his eyes as he gave one last squeeze. She threw out a hand this time, shaking Erin's quickly.

Erin wordlessly led the way out of Molly's, the drive home a silence not familiar in her car.

"Going to bed," she said kissing him on the cheek the second they landed on the other side of the front door, leaving Kelly a confused mess before he'd taken off one boot.

"Did I do somethin' wrong?" he asked as Erin changed into one of his old tees for bed.

"No, not really," she answered shortly, heading to the bathroom.

"Babe, what is it?"

Erin sighed deeply. "You could have warned me that she was gorgeous. Not cute. Not attractive with a great smile, but 100 percent gorgeous. Also, I'm finding it pretty hard to believe that you two didn't do anything as teenagers. I can only imagine what you were like at 16. And the way she hugged you tonight. Hmm."

Kelly didn't know what to say, where all that came from. He knew in his heart and soul that Erin was the girl for him the first moment he saw her. Shay said some bullshit like "soul mate" that he didn't believe in. Until he did believe in it.

With April it was different. They'd known each other when they were both so young and innocent. It had been a lifetime ago.

"You have nothing to say?" Erin asked, holding her toothbrush like a weapon.

"Thinking," Kelly answered, trying to choose his words carefully for once.

"Well, don't hurt yourself," Erin sputtered out, turning on her heels and slamming the bathroom door, ashamed. I'm sixteen, she thought attacking her toothbrush as if it were the enemy, brushing her teeth until her gums bled. She spit the foamy pink in the sink, rinsing quickly, going back to the door.

Kelly was sitting on the bed waiting for her.

"I'm sorry," she said immediately. "Didn't mean any of that. Being jealous and stupid, just that outfit, her face…"

Erin's hair was out of its band, a brown tangle of the most sensual invitation, one that Kelly was going to accept wordlessly. Now. That hair spilled down over her shoulders in a sexy mess that almost drove the fireman to madness, words forgotten.

The look he gave Erin sent shivers down her spine. She felt his gaze slip from her face lower, skim across the crevice in her collar bone, inching down into the gentler curves of her body. God, how could he make her feel that way with his piercing blue eyes, without one touch of his hand?

Kelly finally stepped forward, sheepishly at first, brushing the lacy tank she had peeking out from his T-shirt with his finger. When Erin offered no resistance, he pulled off both shirts in one move, yanking his off seconds later. She let him take off her panties, remaining almost stationary, not resisting but not helping either. She was a statue of self-control and it was driving him crazy. He made a guttural sound so long and low there was no mistaking it for anything but what it was. Pure lust, more animal than man.

That sound was Erin's cue to explode. She vented the fire and fury of everything she felt, all the anger and insecurities, on the fireman before her. He took it in, savoring every rough kiss, every violent thrust and blew it right back at her, hot and savage. Kelly was crazed with a hunger for this woman, one that he knew would never be satisfied. But he was trying to quench it, giving it all he had.

They fell away from each other, exhausted, drained, but never feeling closer. Thoughts of April gone. Jealousies forgotten. All that remained was love. Kelly closing his eyes, enjoying the warmth of Erin's body so near his, the sweetness of her breath on his face as she rolled over half on top of him.

Erin kissed him softly on his cheek, barely brushing her warm lips against his stubble. He breathed it in, inhaled it, wanting her to deepen the kiss.

"Round two?" he asked, still breathless, mischievous grin spread across his lips, about to get just what he wanted. Everything that he wanted.


	29. Chapter 29

**Sorry for the long delay, but RL has not been a friend. Hope y'all are still into the story and enjoy this happy Linseride time. Thank you for sticking with this one, all the kind words, and just being a great FF group of friends.**

* * *

Days tumbled over forming weeks, and weeks piled on top of each other creating months. Time flying by, Erin taking the Severide name as if it was meant to be. It was.

The kids becoming official Severides a few months later with so little fanfare that Erin wondered if it had happened at all. She stared at the envelope for a few long minutes before opening it. The contents, a single sheet of paper, not hinting at the weight that it held.

Kayla and J.P. were theirs. Legally, not just in their hearts.

Gabby and Mills were on food duty for the big celebration that Shay was calling a "Severide Shower." The former lovers cementing their friendship once and for all, coming easier when the spiraling out of control Dawson/Casey marriage was called off. Matt was starting something more of what he'd always dreamed of with a cute kindergarten teacher. Their less than auspicious beginning, a one night stand originating in a bar, had blossomed into something he called "real." Kelly couldn't be happier for him. They'd announced a baby on board about the time Cally suspected she was pregnant.

The whirlwind continued as Shay and Holly proclaimed that they'd found a man who would be an "acceptable" donor of a needed Y chromosome. Holly would carry the baby. But as soon as that announcement came, a retraction followed. Shay would carry their baby, the couple saying simply they'd had a change of heart. Kelly was thrilled, acting like an overprotective big brother.

Everything was moving so fast, too fast for Erin's taste. Spiraling out of control could now be used to describe the huge shindig Shay was orchestrating at Molly's.

"You think we can just cancel the whole thing and have a quiet dinner at Joe's?" she asked Kelly one night as he brushed his teeth, only half joking.

"Hell, yeah," he sputtered, "if Casey called off a whole damn wedding, we sure as hell can call this party off." He gave his mouth a quick rinse before taking his wife in his arms.

"Whatever you want, Mrs. Severide," he reiterated, kissing her full on the mouth, loving the way his last name was a part of her. Forever.

But Erin couldn't call the thing off. No matter what Kelly said, she knew Shay was in too deep, the planning, the food, the excitement. She also knew that two little kids were looking forward to it. Wanted it. Needed this coming out party.

"No, it'll be fun," she said unconvinced but ready to dig in.

* * *

Kelly popped another jalapeno, cheese, bacon thing in his mouth, coming to the realization of what he'd missed when he decided a quickie marriage would be best, an unattended, just the two of them exchanging of vows. Something he was sure Shay was still trying to get over. She'd planned a celebration when they returned but it was nothing like this "event" that would put the city's most well known party planners to shame. Today, was the tasting which Kelly found out just meant stuffing his face and saying what he liked best.

"Mmmm," he said, nudging J.P. in the ribs while the two sat side by side on Gabby's couch. "Whaddya think?" he asked.

"Good. Hot but not too hot," J.P. agreed, huge, toothy grin revealing some remnants of bacon still needing to be swallowed.

"Hey, get me another one of those," Kelly instructed, one hand on his stomach, the other pointing to some sausage cornbread rolls on the counter top.

J.P. shuffled up bringing back four of the appetizers and two fresh napkins.

"Don't strain yourself too much, Severide," Gabby called from the kitchen.

"Which Severide you talkin' to?" asked Kelly winking at J. he tossed another sausage roll in his mouth.

"The one sitting on his ass and ordering around his son," she laughed watching the boy pop a roll in his mouth, a mirror image of the fireman.

"You wouldn't want to get me another beer?" he yelled out between chews.

"Go screw yourself," Gabby retorted, laughing harder.

"Language, Gabs. Little ears in here," Kelly called, winking again at J.P. who was covering his mouth, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Call me that again and J's gonna be gettin' you an ambulance, old man," Dawson snorted, smiling at the array of treats in front of her, all met with a Severide stamp of approval.

"In case I forget to thank you later, thanks for all this. Mill's ain't got nothin' on you, Gabby," Kelly said, making up for lost ground.

"It's for the kids," she teased, "and you are welcome."

Kelly loved that look on J.P.'s face, the one that said he wasn't trying to please anyone, he was just in the minute. He smiled as J made no move to get him another beer. But as happy as he was, he also ached for his wife, wishing she was part of this pig out. He was always trying to get her to eat a cheeseburger, the more meat on her bones, the better, he thought. He closed his eyes, imagining her warmth next to him.

"So how much you think their new dresses are gonna set me back?" Kelly asked, eyes still closed, picturing her in a new dress. Then out of it.

"A fortune," J.P. answered.

"Was afraid of that," Kelly said, opening his eyes, glancing at his son. "Girls," he added smiling.

"Girls," J.P. agreed, in a perfect Kelly 2.0 imitation.

* * *

"You take my breath away," Erin said, her husky laugh erupting as Kayla spun around and around in the tiny dressing room.

"That color with your skin tone … is - un-be-lieve-able. Seriously, so jealous right now," Erin continued, her proud mama bear DNA coming out. Seeing that look on Kayla's face made the party worth it. The silent girl in the corner was nowhere to be found.

Kayla gazed at herself in the mirror, admiring the soft emerald green fabric, liking what she saw. The dress wasn't what she usually wore. The style more suitable for a young girl on the verge of becoming a teen. She hadn't wanted to try it on, knowing K would prefer her in something with ruffles, but Erin insisted.

"You were right," Kayla said smiling, glad she gave in.

"I like the sound of that. Mom's always right," Erin teased, wrapping her arms around her daughter, squeezing her would be no wishing away hips today. No wanting a smaller waist today. Kayla, for at least one day, was happy with what God had given her.

"Where we gonna eat?" Erin asked quietly as if plotting some crime, not wanting the afternoon to end.

"Meatball subs," Kayla whispered back in the same "up to something" tone.

"Good call," Erin answered, smile growing by the second. She worried about the damage that woman who gave birth to Kayla had done. You're too fat. Too hippy. Too this. Too that. It was the constant chipping away at the young girl's self worth that Erin hated worse than all the drugs, the men, all the rest of it. She knew from personal experience Kayla would get over all that. But it was an ongoing battle to bolster Kayla up, to make her see the beautiful girl she was. Erin felt like she was winning.

"Let's buy this thing cause I'm starved."

"You sure K's gonna be okay with it?" Kayla asked, looking at the price tag.

"He's going to love it." Erin thought "love" might be overstating it a bit, but she also knew he couldn't refuse the girl a thing. He wouldn't be happy that she looked 12 in the dress, preferring her to not break the 10 threshold. Erin still chuckled at the last time Kelly folded clothes, the actual _last_ time he would be folding clothes.

"What the hell is this?" he asked dropping a bra on the bed as if it burned his hand. He turned a little green and looked as though he might throw up as Erin answered.

"Babe, you know what that is. You've unhooked enough of them in your life. It's Kayla's…"

"Stop. Just stop. I, I, can't…" he fumbled away from the bed, backing up as if it were a crime scene.

"Kel, it's just a training bra. In a year or two you're not even going to be able to tell hers from mine," Erin commented, trying to help but only adding to his discomfort.

"No. What?" the image that conjured up was something Kelly would never forget. Kay, his Kay, wearing grown up bras, bras like Erin's. He stumbled off to the living room, flopping on the couch, rubbing his hand through his short hair.

"Babe, you okay?" Erin asked, sympathetic smile on her face.

"No. No I'm not okay. That's a bra, Erin.. Kayla's a kid. She doesn't need a bra. Right?" Kelly was trying to remove the image from his brain. That white, stretchy thing with a little flower in front was gone, adios, history. Never saw it…

"She most definitely needs it, but it's just a piece of clothing, Kelly. Jesus, you'd think she just brought a boy home," Erin laughed, heading back to the bedroom.

Kelly felt his breath catch in his throat, that sick feeling coming back. "You are evil, Erin!" the fireman called out. An answer came in the throaty laugh of his wife from the bedroom.

Erin felt a nudge on her arm.

"We didn't get you a new dress!" Kayla exclaimed, pulling Erin's thoughts from her husband and back to the store she was standing in. The little girl suddenly remembered the shopping trip was for both of them.

"Girl, those subs are calling our names. I know I've got plenty to wear." Erin was seriously considering jeans and a T-shirt. She'd told Kelly, "It's Molly's for God's sake!" He agreed, but he also knew that jeans were out for him. Shay would disown him if he didn't put in a little effort.

Erin grabbed her girl's hand, kissing it noisily. Kayla giggled as Erin made another slurping noise on the hand. "Now let's eat," Erin said, taking in the moment, trying to remember every detail. Somehow she knew this would be a memory she could call upon for years to come. Years from now, sitting on a porch by a lake, husband at her side, and she would be able to call on this, on it as one of the best of her life.

* * *

"So Cally's finally looking like she's got a bun in the oven, maybe a whole loaf of bread," Kelly chuckled, his eye catching the Clarke's at a side table, Jeff wrapping his arms around his wife, looking like he just won the lotto. The party at Molly's, the Severide shower, was turning out to be one big, helluva party. Better than anyone had thought possible.

"Ssshhh! Babe, you do not want to say a pregnant woman looks pregnant or big or large or the F word," reprimanded Erin, putting a soft hand on her husband's mouth. "You do not want the wrath of those hormones on you," she added, smiling about the jokes going around at work, all behind the blonde's back, no one with the guts or other parts to say any of it in front of her.

"Oh shit, Pregzilla's comin' this way," Kelly said downing three gulps of beer and trying to look innocent.

"Just shut your mouth, Kel. I may want to keep you around…" Erin took two quick sips of her own. "Cally! Jeff! Didn't think you were going to make it."

"Uh, yeah, just forget what I said earlier. I wouldn't miss this party for the world. So happy for you," Cailin said, feeling Jeff's arms wrap around her again, thankful they could still get all the way around. She eyeballed Kelly knowing his wide eyed look was trying to hide something.

"Kelly," Cally greeted in a measured tone. "You wouldn't be talking about my little bean would you?"

"Nah, just tellin' Erin that you're lookin' good, can barely tell you're pregnant," the fireman responded, his stomach met with a hard slap from his wife.

"Ummph," he snorted, beer trickling out of his mouth. "Ow, what the hell, Erin?"

She smiled at her friend waiting for the eruption. Kelly, God love him, but so clueless sometimes, she thought, so clueless in the matters of women. Who would've thought it?

"Hmm, can barely tell, huh? Let me steal your wife before she leaves a mark," Cally said sweetly, hooking her arm in Erin's.

"Sorry about that…" the brunette started.

"No forget it," Cailin interrupted. "I am sorry. That was not me yesterday," she continued thinking about how she blew up at her best friend, saying there was no way she was setting foot in a bar, why were they even having the thing in a bar, and maybe something about "dumbest idea in the history of mankind" came out of her mouth before a few tears and mumblings about wanting all the drinks.

"What could you be talking about, Cally?" Erin asked her rasp hinting at a laugh held lightly behind the words.

"Shut up," Cailin stated, "and get me a drink. Water, club soda, whatever. Doesn't really matter. It will be boring. I am boring. I'll just watch you drink the rest of that beer."

"Shut up," Erin parroted, pushing her friend into a chair, bouncing off to retrieve two waters, with limes, and fancy umbrellas.

"You do still love me," Cally sighed as Erin plopped down with the drinks.

* * *

"So everything going okay?" Kelly asked hesitantly, not sure how Jeff was looking so happy with that load of raging hormones at home.

"Yeah, great. Perfect really," he answered truthfully. The swollen ankles suddenly making an appearance, all those first months of morning sickness, the mood swings, he wouldn't trade it for anything. All of it pointed in the direction of a baby on the way. His baby. Their baby.

"You don't look any worse for wear," Kelly smiled, patting his friend on the back. "You're a good man, Clarke."

"That's Cally's line," Jeff laughed, keeping a watchful eye on his wife. Glad Erin had her laughing, looking calmer than she had in a week.

"So when do you think you and Erin might take the plunge?" Clarke asked, teasing more than anything.

Kelly tried sputtering out a response but managed to spew a little beer instead.

"Just - got- them," he coughed out, looking at Kayla and J.P. breaking into some robot moves that Shay was orchestrating and capturing on her phone.

"Hey, congrats on that, but…" Clarke added, giving Kelly a few hard pats on the back, "you can always add to the Severide clan."

"Uh, got my hands full, more than full," Kelly answered, his eyes traveling to his his wife, wondering how he got so damn lucky. Her, the kids, what more could he want?

"You know I'm just bullshittin' you, bud?" Jeff asked. "You got it all right here, but…" he said winking, "you haven't lived till you've experienced an eight month pregnant wife. And those hormones." He almost whispered that last part.

"Hands full, more than full," Kelly repeated, but a part of him, deep down, agreeing with his friend. He couldn't help but think he missed out on seeing Erin go through a pregnancy. Thoughts of those dark days returning, thoughts of how long it'd been since he'd thought about their lost baby, a sadness flashing across his face.

He downed the rest of his beer, a quiet settling in, Clarke sorry he'd brought any of it up, clearing his throat while deciding what to say.

Shay said it for him. She was front and center, talking to the crowd about her best friend, about his beautiful wife, two perfect kids she wanted to steal, adding something about Holly. She was done with her rambling, love filled speech when sobs overtook her voice. Kelly felt himself being pushed to the front of the bar, two children clapping wildly.

A speech. No one said anything about a damn speech. It started as rambling as Shay's before he hit his stride, gathering confidence from Erin's beaming face.

"This is one of the happiest days of my life. Right here…" he was getting choked up as he ended, taking a quick sip of beer to get a grip, "Right here, in this room, is all," Kelly looked around the bar, clearing his throat. His eyes settling on Erin, locking in on her gaze. She nodded her head, huge smile on her face. He looked at Kayla, J.P. both sitting in front of his wife. He scanned everyone from 51, his family, wanting to say more, not sure if his voice was going to cooperate. His eyes stopped on Shay who was full on snot crying again.

"All I need is right here in this room." Kelly finished, getting up to kiss Shay on his way to Erin and the kids. He took the three of them in his arms, wrapping his family in tight, wishing he could freeze time.

* * *

"I didn't get dessert," Kelly lamented as the Severides made their way into their condo. Erin answered by flying into his arms the second they crossed the threshold to their bedroom, a sanctuary the kids didn't enter before knocking first. Kelly held his wife like he'd never let go. He wouldn't.

"How's this for dessert?" Erin asked huskily, hair already out of it's ponytail. Tangled in each other's arms, they toppled on the bed, a furious blend of hands and clothes and skin. Kelly stretched his body across Erin, teasing her with his bare chest, T-shirt thrown on the floor.

She tensed as his hands clamped on hers before leaving to slide up the inside of her thigh, his fingers toying with the black panties she still had on.

She kissed him hard, tasting his mouth, the want in her body that could only be quenched with this man. With Kelly. The arch in her back told him as much. Kelly enjoyed dessert so much he came back for seconds.

Erin had tried to push him away so many times when they were just beginning. But he kept coming back. He wouldn't take no for an answer. He wouldn't accept her protests that she wasn't made for anything real and lasting. He forced her to believe that she deserved it. Deserved all the good things that would come her way if she'd just let him in. That shadow of a person she was, the shell that was now full of the loving person she'd become, fearless now in matters of the heart. Erin could accept love and give it in a way that paralyzed her with fear before she let a fireman walk through the flames of a wall she'd put up.

She was so thankful that she had. She wanted to tell him all of this. To thank him again for sticking with her through her stubbornness, through her craziness, through her doubts that she even knew how to love.

Instead, she simply said, "Kelly. Kelly. Let's make a baby."

* * *

**Wrapping this one up soon. I'll continue with one more installment where we'll explore the addition of Cam, show Erin as a PI, and have that Shay baby. Thanks for reading and for all the support!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Feeling bittersweet … this will be the last chapter in "All I Need." Thank you, thank you for all of the reviews, faves, and follows - your kind words kept this going for so long. You know I love Linseride, and I promised much in the Christmas story (with 2NY), so there will be one more installment. I am changing up some stuff so fair warning. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Kelly thought he imagined the words. Heat of the moment, definitely not thinking with his brain … Yes, he decided, totally misheard what Erin said.

"So what do you think, Kel?" Erin asked quietly, the kids still asleep even though it was past 11:00. The Severides both awake but enjoying the quiet, lazy morning, lying in bed with a reluctance to get going.

"Bout what? Us makin' breakfast? Our kids are gonna come racin' in here any second," Kelly said, putting an emphasis on the "our kids" that hinted at the feelings of happiness and contentment he swore were literally filling his heart.

"Mmmm, I like the sound of that," Erin remarked, throwing an arm around her husband's naked torso. "But I was talking about what I said to you last night."

"You said a lot to me last night. And Shay said a lot, couldn't get her to shut up. And Clarke, both Clarke's. So, don't be pissed, but what am I weighing in on?" Kelly asked, pushing Erin's arm off of his chest so he could roll over and face his wife.

"You know," Erin answered, eyebrows raised.

The dumbfounded look on the fireman's face made her wonder if she'd said what she thought she said.

"The baby."

"Which baby?" Kelly asked, afraid to let those words from last night in. "Clarke? Shay? Casey?"

"Ours," Erin answered, beginning to worry that his hesitation was a sign of how stupid her idea was. Damn heat of the moment, caught up in the night, all those babies on the way. "Never mind. If we're pretending I didn't say anything…" Erin rolled over away from Kelly. She tried to push herself out of bed but was stopped by a firm grip on her wrist.

"Hey," Kelly called, pulling her forcefully back on the bed. "Babe, I'm sorry. Thought I imagined it. Hell, was so happy from the whole night, didn't think it could get better. And then you said let's make a baby, and," he stopped, struggling to find the right words, "and then you made it better."

"Really?" Erin asked hesitantly, dimples forming on her face. "You don't think I'm crazy?"

"Now that's a different question. Hell yeah, you're crazy."

Erin punched him lightly on the arm, her hoarse laugh ringing out, rousing two kids from a sleep they were trying not to leave.

"But us makin' a baby sounds like the best idea that's come outta that crazy brain…"

Erin slugged him again, harder.

"Ouch!" he protested.

Erin was on top of him now, planting little kisses all over his face. Her husky laugh stirring her husband from the inside out, the drowsy laziness of the late morning giving way to a burst of energy. Kelly rolled her over, planting his own kisses on her face. Erin's laugh cut short by a burst of knocking on the door.

"What's going on in there?" Kayla's voice was soft, just waking up. She'd seen enough to have a pretty good idea what was going on but somehow this had no resemblance to her birth mother and the string of men she entertained. This, she knew, was something else.

"Can we come in?" asked J.P. cautiously going for the door knob. Kayla slapped his hand away.

"J! We never go in till mom or dad say come in," she reprimanded bossily.

"Come in! We ain't awake yet, but come on in," Kelly yelled out, scooching over crowding his wife to make room for the kids.

He pat the empty side of the bed as Kayla and J.P. came tumbling in, both pushing each other out of the way to be the first one to jump up next to their parents. J.P. won, sliding under Kayla's arm and bounding on the bed.

He laughed uncontrollably as she launched herself on top of him.

"Hey, Cut the 're just now wakin' up," Kelly said, fake serious look on his face.

That sent J.P. into hysterics. Kayla and Erin joining in.

* * *

Erin tucked her birth control pills in her panty drawer, smiling as she pushed them out of sight. She insisted they weren't "going crazy" with the trying but if it happened it happened.

"You sure this isn't a bad idea? We just officially got the kids," Erin asked, that old Erin doubt settling in.

"This ain't a bad idea. How could us makin' another Severide be a bad idea," Kelly reassured. It would be his role over the next few months. He also added that it was fine with him if they did "go crazy" with the trying.

"I'm going to be the worst mother. Look at who I had as a role model."

"There's no 'going to be' Erin. You're already a mom and a damn good one."

"Our hands are already so full. The baseball, art classes, what the hell are we thinking?"

"So our hands'll be fuller. No big deal, babe. We got this."

"What if something happens? We do have dangerous jobs. Not to jinx it, but what if… what if, we're not around and three kids…"

"Jinx it? Erin, nothin's gonna happen. It's already happened. We are fine. The kids will be fine."

Kelly played the role of pacifier, calming his wife down every time a doubt arouse. He had doubts himself, but they weren't about being parents. He knew they were built for that job, J.P. and Kayla evidence of that. No, his doubts came from a worry so real it almost materialized as panic, showing itself in the wee hours of the morning when his wife was sleeping. It was a pit of your stomach gnawing that reminded him of what happened the last time Erin was pregnant. The fall, their lost baby, their dashed hopes that almost destroyed them.

Her job. In his mind, it always came back to her job. Being a cop was no cake walk. The reality was that it was a dangerous business, proven time and time didn't like it. Not one bit.

* * *

"What the hell's wrong with me?" Shay asked Erin, really wanting Kelly but settling for the detective while he was covering on Red shift. "You think my body's _rejecting_ the sperm or something?"

Erin snorted almost choking on the green tea she was trying to drink. Kelly'd read somewhere that green tea increased fertility so now he was trying to drown her in it.

"Your body is not _rejecting_ the sperm, Shay. You will get pregnant. It's been … what? Five months?"

"Six," Shay corrected, crossing her arms.

Erin drew in a deep breath. She knew Shay's frustrations, knew the feelings of what the hell is taking so long. Once she'd said the words out loud, "let's make a baby," Erin could think of nothing else.

"Shay," Erin began slowly. She was violating her pact with Kelly, the "We ain't tellin' no one" agreement they reached not wanting the constant barrage of questions that inevitably came with couples trying to get pregnant.

"Shay," Erin started again. She had to tell her.

Leslie's eyebrows reached new heights, waiting for those next words, having no clue what was to come.

"We've been trying too."

"What?! Get the hell out!" Shay whacked Erin on the arm. "Oh my God! We could be pregnant at the same time! Whale twinsies! Wait. You can't get pregnant either? Maybe Kelly's little swimmers can't swim. Maybe he's shooting blanks!" Shay was practically wheezing at her own jokes.

"I'm pretty sure he's fine," Erin said, a sense of loyalty to her husband preventing her from joining in the laughter of his best friend.

"I don't know. Kel took a long time in that room at the fertility clinic," Shay added, remembering the details of their brief foray into artificial insemination.

"That was a plastic cup. He's never had any issues, I mean… we're fine. He's fine," Erin rambled, having a hard time imagining Kelly and that cup.

"Oh, I am sure he has no problems with the female body. Geesh, I'm just glad we never had to… ew!" Shay shook her head, the fleeting thought of Plan B rushing in, how close they'd come to it.

"I'm sure it's about to happen for both of us. So, yes, we'll be pregnant at the same time," Erin wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. She didn't want her husband to have an aneurysm.

"I have been feeling fertile lately. You know, not completely revulsed by the thought of sperm swimming up my vaginal canal and straight through my cervix," Shay commented, eyes wide at the thought of it.

"That's probably a good thing. The whole not feeling revulsion," Erin agreed, eyes narrowing, trying to come up with something to add.

"That's what Holly said. You know, a _welcoming_ environment." Shay took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She shook her head before opening them again. "You're right. It's happening for both of us." A wide smile spread across her face… "And Kel's gonna have to deal with what that means," a snort of laughter preventing her from finishing the thought.

"Both of us hormonal," Erin smiled, thinking of Cally and what Jeff had gone through.

"And fat. I think I'm gonna get HUGE!" Shay's laughter infected the detective who couldn't help but join in.

"God help my husband," Erin mused, her dimples running deep.

* * *

Kelly sat the kids down on the sofa standing up in front of them. He crossed his arms and paused remembering where to start. He'd rehearsed what he was gonna say a dozen times.

J.P. didn't have a clue. Kayla knew something was up… the hushed tones of mom and dad. Not arguing, just serious talking she'd overheard for the past few weeks, maybe months. This was not good. Definitely not good.

"Nothin's wrong," Kelly began smiling reassuringly, seeing the worried looks on the kids' faces. "Just wanted to let you know that mom and I were thinkin' about addin' to the family." Severide waited, having a hard time reading their faces.

"Like adopting another kid?" asked J.P. not sure what to think. On the one hand, he was relieved it wasn't anything bad but on the other hand, was it "good" news? Was it something he did?

"Nah, uh, we were thinkin' about gettin' pregnant."

J.P.'s eyes were saucers, wide in disbelief. Oh God, he hoped, let this not be the "talk" he'd been subjected to when Kayla thought he was old enough around age 6. He swore he still wasn't over that.

Both kids remained silent, leaving Kelly at more of a loss for words. Maybe this was a bad idea. Should have checked with them before … stupid, dumb, Erin doubts riddling his brain. Of course they'd be worried, probably thinking they were being replaced or something.

"A baby? Mom's having a baby?" Kayla's bright smile and slight squeal said everything was going to be alright. "I can help take care of her!"

"We can teach him baseball," J.P. chirped in, toothy grin now joining his sister's.

"Whoa. There's no baby yet. Wanted to see what you two thought… you know let you know we were tryin', warn you some sleepless nights might be comin." Kelly coughed uncomfortably.

J.P. shot Kayla a glance, a look of horror on his face, the word "trying" playing out in his mind. Kayla's smile turned into a laugh, reading her little brother's thoughts.

"Well, I think it's an epic idea. I can't wait to be a big sis to another kid. This one," she ruffled J.P.'s coarse hair in the way he hated, "is getting too big to listen to me."

"Hey, cut it out!" J.P. protested trying to smooth his hair back out. "Yeah, I think it's a good idea too."

Kelly was about to say he had the best kids ever and if it didn't happen, no big deal. But Erin rushed in the apartment, worry line pressed deep between her eyebrows. It said mom had a long day at work.

Kelly motioned his hand across his neck, that little slice saying "not a word of this" to the woman who just walked in. Both kids nodded silently, getting up to meet Erin with a swarm of hugs, that line on her face fading with each squeeze.

"K got dinner started, so you don't have to lift a finger," Kay said, alternating the Dad and K moniker depending on what sputtered out first.

"Here, let me get you a drink. Some _water_," J.P. said skipping to the kitchen. He grabbed her hand, leading her and the glass of water to the couch. As she sat down, the little boy brushed her stomach with a soft touch.

Kelly locked eyes with his wife, feeling that familiar stirring that said "let me get you alone. Now." The devilish grin teasing his lips turned slight grimace when he saw Erin's look. It read more, "Yes, I want you alone too. Cause you are dead meat, dude."

"Love you, babe," he called out from behind the counter, starting to slice some tomatoes.

"Love you too, babe," she called back, those eyes saying he better watch it.

Kelly just kept chopping, not sure what he was gonna do with all those tomatoes.

* * *

Erin couldn't stay mad at her guy. It was Kelly being Kelly. Doing what he thought was best for her and the kids. She could never fault him for that. Now, his overprotectiveness was something else, a bone of contention for the pair from day one.

"Rough day?" Kelly asked, rubbing his wife's neck, kneading out the tightness, all those knots.

Erin relaxed in the way that only her husband could get out of her, walls down, at home with everything she needed.

As Kelly got deeper and deeper into her back, Erin got deeper into the day's events. Another scumbag to chase down and lock up. This one, a drug dealer with far reaching gang connections, looked like the last dealer who looked like the last one.

All the bad guys ran together to Kelly. He wondered how Erin could stay so motivated, the neverending pile of criminals that never seemed to go away.

As Kelly's hands went lower, easing down her hips, Erin flinched, pulling back with a small gasp.

"What?" he snapped, knowing the answer, but pulling her jeans down a little to reveal a dark purple bruise stretching across her hip. "What the hell?" he asked again.

"It's nothing, guy ran, tangled with him a little at the end. No biggie, babe. Promise." Erin stretched up to kiss Kelly on the lips. The scowl on his face was not lessening.

"What happens when you get pregnant? Hell, what if you are right now?!" The words were out before a single Severide thought had time to edit what was coming out of his mouth.

"Kelly. I'm not, okay? I wish I were, but I'm not. Take a breath…" Erin tried, feeling the knot in her stomach that said a fight was coming.

"Don't tell me to take a breath. I don't need a breath. I need you with a job that ain't gonna hurt you. That's what I need." The red in Kelly's face said the fight had arrived.

"I talked to Voight. He knows we're trying," Erin reached up to kiss Kelly again. Met with a little more response this time. "We agreed that when it happens I'm going to be on desk duty." She wasn't looking forward to it, dreading it really, but the day's incident confirmed it needed to happen.

Married with two kids Kelly calmed down. He made himself take a breath, take in all Erin was willing to sacrifice, and calmed the boiling Severide anger bubbling to the surface. "Really?" he asked cautiously, a little doubtfully.

"Yes, really. Kelly, when it happens I don't want anything to go wrong. I will do everything I can to keep our baby safe." Erin's face darkened as her thoughts trailed back to their lost baby, all the what ifs she'd have to live with for the rest of her life.

"Hey, no sad faces," Kelly softened, "I'm sorry I blew, worried like always. It kills me to see you hurt, babe." the fireman drew his wife closer, running his hands down her back again. "Get in bed. I'll be right back." He tore out of the room, returning before she even took her jeans off.

"Get in there," Kelly motioned to the bed. He pulled their biggest ice pack from behind his back.

"Mmmm, that feels so damn good," Erin purred as he gently laid it across her hip.

"Oh, and…" he reached in his pocket pulling out two ibuprofen, "take these." He brushed her hair back lightly with his hand, kissing the top of her head.

"It really looks worse than it is," Erin insisted, downing the pills. "I love you, you know?" She kissed the top of his head.

"You better, bruiser," Kelly smiled, kissing her again, this time full on the lips.

* * *

Weeks slipped by and before Erin blinked, baby Clarke was turning one. The mini-me of Jeff was about the cutest tot she'd ever seen. Blue eyes and that Clarke jaw met a shock of blonde hair to create the beautiful little one … angelic in appearance but definitely all boy. Cally had been baby busy, lending an ear to an at times despondent and at other times peaceful Erin, but her hands were more than full with her new bundle of joy who was an early walker.

Erin was happy for her best friend, but a part of her, a small part, was envious. She found herself taking solace in Kelly's best friend, who was going through the same baby making struggle.

Shay decided to pass the birthing torch to Holly if her latest try didn't work. "She's always been more welcoming to everything _guy_, so we're letting her do the next go 'round."

Erin could see the disappointment in the blonde's eyes, giving her the pep talk she needed. "The transfer looked good, right?" Shay perked up until Holly texted to remind her no drinking at the party, "just in case."

The paramedic and the detective were going to the huge, birthday shindig together, their significant others called away because of work. Holly had a 13-year-old patient who'd taken a turn for the worse. Kelly was back with 51's other shift, their squad's lieutenant out with a broken leg. "Just one shift," Boden had said in the way that Severide couldn't refuse.

Erin had barely given the blonde birthday boy a hug before Cally was standing before her, waiting for some bonding time with her friend, neither able to see the other much beyond work lately. The Severides in the throes of baseball season and a teen's never-ending activities; the Clarke's running on a baby schedule light on sleep and heavy on caffeine.

Cailin hooked her arm in Erin's, mouthing a "thank you" to Shay, as she led the detective to her bedroom.

"God I've missed you," Cally said flopping across her bed, face first.

Erin's hoarse laugh filled the room as she stretched out on her back, her face in front of the blonde's.

"I know, I know, we see each other every day, but we haven't just downloaded in so long. You know, talk about non-work things, baby-making things," she ventured into stepping on toes territory.

"You've been kinda busy, Cally," Erin said, her smile reflecting the love she had for her friend, not fazed by the baby comment.

"You think?" she snorted. "Uh, let me tell you that they lie. They say you'll get sleep … eventually. But it's a lie," Cailin closed her eyes wondering if her friend would mind some naptime bonding. She forced her eyes open at the sound of Erin's voice.

"Baby making still a go. We've been trying, but nothing yet." Erin didn't want to mention that she was a little late. She'd been late almost every month since going off the pill, building up her hopes, only to have them crumbling down with a negative pregnancy test.

Before Cally could respond, a soft knock came from the door, followed by Shay's voice.

"Can I come in?" she asked, barging in before anyone answered.

Cailin scooted to the edge of the bed making room for the blonde. Shay slid in, leaving Erin in the middle.

"Wasn't gonna say anything, but I'm late. That's why Holly was such a bitch about me not drinking," Shay relayed, her mouth moving so fast, the detectives weren't sure what they just heard. She'd been waiting all day to tell Kelly but he took that extra shift and ruined everything. She had to tell someone.

"You might be pregnant?" Cally asked, shooting up, now sitting on the bed.

Shay just smiled.

"C'mon. In the bathroom, NOW," commanded the blonde detective. She grabbed Erin by the hand, dragging her in too.

She rummaged through the bottom cabinet, bottles of sunscreen, lotions, and first aid elixirs flying out to the floor. "Yes!" she pronounced triumphantly, displaying two long, flat boxes, one in each hand.

Erin burst out laughing, "How many of those do you have? I thought they were pretty accurate."

"Here," Cally pulled out one of the pregnancy tests, displaying it in front of Shay like a treasured gift.

"Geez, a little privacy ladies," Leslie requested, grabbing the stick and unbuttoning her jeans.

"Really?" Cailin asked.

"Ha! Nah, just kidding," Shay dropped her pants and sat on the toilet, humming to try and relax and pee. She'd hummed about half of some unrecognizable song before the tell-tale sound of a stream began.

Erin and Cally high-fived excitedly.

"Give me one of those," Erin demanded, holding out her hand, looking down at the tile floor. She inhaled a deep breath to calm those nerves.

"You're late too?!" Shay screamed, jumping up off the seat. "Sit!" she ordered, flushing quickly.

"No looking at that yet," Cally proclaimed, snatching the stick from the other blonde's hand. "We'll look at both together," she said laughing nervously. "Hell, I might take one too!"

"What? You're late too?!" Shay screamed louder, jumping up and down.

"Just kidding, so calm the hell down. I would have to use that razor for something other than my legs if I was pregnant," Cailin replied. "Now, pee," the blonde said to Erin who was feeling dehydrated.

The brunette finally got a stream going, the stick shaking wildly underneath her. Her phone was ringing again, second time in about two minutes. She pulled it out with her free hand, still peeing, other hand holding the test.

"Kelly," she said too calmly.

"What? What?! What happened?! You're okay?" She listened some more with Shay crouching down, trying to press her ear against the phone.

"I'm on my way." Erin clicked End, pulling up her pants in one swift move. "He said he's fine. He sounded fine. He's on his way to Lakeshore, thinks he needs a 'couple' of stitches."

"I'm driving," Shay said.

"I've got shotgun," Cailin added. "Just kidding," she said rubbing Erin's arm. "He's fine. We're talking Severide, right? He probably had a can opener accident."

Shay snorted with a nervous laugh. Erin smiled weakly.

"I'll call you. It's your baby boy's first birthday," Shay said softly.

"Nope. I'm going. We have dinner with the whole Callaghan clan tomorrow, a birthday picnic with some of Clarke's Marine buddies this weekend. This kid has a month of birthday fun planned out for him."

Erin raised an eyebrow doubtfully.

"Seriously, he's ONE. He doesn't even know what all this is. Let's go, girls." Cailin said, her look indicated there would be no arguing.

* * *

Holly met the trio at the entrance, assuring Erin it was "no big deal." She led the detective back to one of the treatment bays.

Kelly's arm was bandaged in white gauze from his wrist up to his elbow. Erin rushed to his side, kissing both sides of his face before he could get a word out.

"Babe, I'm fine. I told you to stay at the party," the fireman said, so glad to be looking at the beautiful face of his wife. He knew she wouldn't stay away, and he loved her all the more for it.

"What happened? That looks like more than a couple of stitches," she said, suspicious of all that gauze.

"Stupid accident. Warehouse fire, had to slice through a metal door. Not used to working with Red shift, got our wires crossed. One of their guys thought my arm was part of the door," Kelly joked, wanting that scowl his wife was wearing gone.

A loud Shay scream rang out from behind the curtain. Erin shot up, pulling the fabric to the side in time to see the blonde fling herself in Holly's arms. The doctor twirled around and around, holding Shay so tight. The paramedic's left hand also holding something so tight, the little stick that read 'positive.'

Erin was about to answer Kelly's quizzical look, about to say, "Shay's pregnant" but she stopped herself, suddenly remembering. She slowly pulled out the now bent stick from her front pocket, staring at the object as if it were from another universe.

Her hazel eyes grew wide.

Kelly's piercing blue eyes were on her, the ones that stripped away all the built up walls. He knew what she was lookin' at. Hell, he'd been with a few women as they read the results, cheering wildly when it showed up as a big, fat NEGATIVE. Now, he was praying for the opposite.

Erin held Kelly's gaze. She smiled at how his eyes made her feel naked, they were seeing all of her, all the insecurities. But most of all, his steadfast gaze said "I got you."

He reached out with his uninjured arm, wordlessly telling her to come to him. He squeezed her hand as a few more silent seconds ticked between them. Words were running through his mind, a jumbled mess. The silence could mean only one thing.

He took the stick out of his wife's hand. It was a breath-holding moment … time stood still.

Kelly touched Erin's cheek, his hand reaching behind her head, pulling her in incredibly close. He cupped her face with one hand, the touch so gentle it was barely there. The fireman didn't bother brushing away the wetness in his eyes.

The weeks, the months of hope against hope poured out of Erin, her voice lost, eyes glistening. Kelly saw all that hope, longing, and joy in his wife's eyes. The lump in his throat swelled as he wiped her cheeks, leaving his own stained with more than a few tears.

* * *

Morning's first soft light began its climb, teetering across the ledge of the window, eventually peeking into the Severide bedroom, shining on the brunette's dark strands calling for Kelly's touch. He was up on one elbow watching his wife sleep, the rise and fall of her chest steady and strong. His eyes traveled down to her swollen belly, his hand slowly touching her stomach.

Erin was in a half-wake dreamland, grumbling a little beneath his touch.

"Ssshhhh," Kelly whispered, "sleep." He rubbed her head, smoothing back the front of her hair. His hand landed back on the baby bump, drawn to it, the warmth, the hope that it held.

For him, this moment would last forever. Kelly breathed the moment in, held onto the heartbeat he could feel, not certain if it was Erin's or the baby's, and vowed he would never let go.

* * *

**Hope you liked the ending as much as I liked writing it. Love y'all for giving me such positive vibes. The words in your reviews holding their own story, one I've enjoyed reading. Let me know what you think AND what are the things you MUST see in the next, and final installment. Thanks, friends!**


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